Why Do Men Expect Bar Girls To Love Them?

TommoPhysicist · November 18, 2012

very few of these rules apply, if you are smart enough to seek out a middle class woman, with a college degree, who speaks great english, and has an established family. Many of these women can be found online. Interview them, and determine their status, before you even waste your time, or hook up. Otherwise, you need to plan to spend a minimum or one or two million baht on a house, retiring the family debt, supporting mom and dad, and the deadbeat brother, which a high percentage of Thai families have.

Most guys will not listed to this advice. Most will not hear it, nor want to hear it. But, buyer beware.

Most guys won't listen to your advice because it's crap advice (IMHO).

Internet dating attracts mostly far worse girls than the bars, you delusions are a variation on 'my girl is different'.

As for your rules

1. All women can wait 5-10-15 years before taking you, time means nothing.

2. Don't give her family money ever, it's your money, keep it for you.

3. No major gifts ever, buy everything in your own name, let them use the stuff.

4. They get no 'moving in' rights in Thailand, and you are only renting the place anyway.

5. Marriage in Thailand gets the woman no benefits, divorce is cheap, why not do it right away and get yourself a marriage extension.

6. Don't take her to your country ever, her rights are entirely different there.

7. Don't bother reading books written by losers.

There, I feel much better now!

Edited November 18, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

NoshowJones · November 18, 2012

Why do foreigners expect Thais to love them?

........... especially if no one else does in their home countries.

Does any ugly old grossly overweight Farang, dressed in a simmet and shorts, covered in Tattoos, and with facial hair seriously believe a beautiful young bargirl will love him? Well they will, until his money runs out. These are the sort of losers who can't get a woman in their own country, but think they can buy love over here. That is not love, the bargirls are just taking him for a ride, and getting well paid for it, and good luck to them.

rene123 · November 18, 2012

Why do men anywhere expect women from anywhere to love them? It doesn't matter if she is from a bar or the university faculty club. Women who work in bars anywhere, for any length of time, will get hardened to the love and relationship business. They've seen it all and heard all the lies. Their hearts have usually been broken many times. They've learned the hard way not to trust anyone but themselves. Unfortunately, when they meet some honest bloke they just lump him in with all the rest who have lied to them. I thought I could trust my ex husband until I found him in bed with a gal who I thought was a friend. I think it hurt more losing the friend than it did my husband.

BWPattaya · November 18, 2012

It must be nearing Christmas already, all these Ho Ho Ho threads are popping up.

Yes, Santa will be emptying his sack

Yes, but watch out - he only comes once a year.

neatfeet12 · November 18, 2012

Back home, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you but even in instances where this may be the case, there's way too much competition from guys with more money than your average, bar regular. The overwhelming majority of ordinary, non-profit making women are a mystery to him. He just can't figure them out; they're way too complicated.

So here he is in Thailand where cash is known to level the playing field. Any insecure, socially-inept, sartorially-challenged gimp can pull a woman several notches above the heifers he had to knock about with back in Farangland. Here, the nuances of women and the things they expect - understanding, empathy, someone to lean on - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Said loser can be heard thinking to himself,

"Jeez, this is great; I don't have to talk to her too much, she plays a mean game of pool, she cheers on my team in the footie, she shags well and whenever I want it and, to boot, she says she 'loves me'".

Somewhere along the line, however, the joker begins to develop genuine feelings for his bar bint. He forgets that the relatively small amounts of cash are her motivation and that their liaison is a purely financial transaction.

With the intensity of his brain-shaking orgasms fresh in his mind, he asks himself,

"How can she flirt with other men so easily? Why is she still getting text messages from that fat German? Why does her phone go on the blink so often and why does that Phichai moto-taxi guy have so much to say to her?"

In an effort to reassert control, our hapless love fool asks her to leave the bar in return for a stipend to help her family and a key to his apartment but, now that the financial outlay has move up a notch, he reasons that he has a right to control what she does, where she goes, who she sees and develops a habit for interrogating her friends. She likes the cash but she resents the manipulative streak her mark beau has developed and begins to rebel. Eventually, it becomes too stressful so she bounces him to the kerb, moves out and heads back to the bar.

Our Romeo drowns his sorrows, breaks down, accosts her at her bar, is rejected and heads off home to join the flying club

Hammer, Head, Nail HS, hammer, nail, head......................

Exactly!

NoshowJones · November 18, 2012

I'd say the forum would be a less interesting place without people like yourself

Why thanks Bookie, I wouldn't be doing my job if everyone agreed with me 8-)

And wrt kissing, note the Thais need to be taught to do it in the first place, if you're looking for a girl inexperienced with farang and she knows how to kiss, you've been had.

I've gotten out of the habit myself, bit like wearing shoes in the house. One of my girls thought she'd give it a go from watching videos and really jumped in full-on tongue wrestling, freaked me right out! Had to give her points for enthusiasm though. . .

The first Thai girl I went out with (not a bargirl) was 31 years old, she had no idea how to kiss, it didn't take long to teach her though, she was very affectionate, and even took my hand on our first date. I believe lots of Thai girls especially those from up country only know about kissing by watching western movies, when I worked as a school teacher, I saw plenty of boys and girls together holding hands in the corridors etc, but never once did I see any kissing. I've come to the conclusion that most Thai men are only interested in the Wham Bam Thankyou Mam.

NoshowJones · November 18, 2012

have you looked at some of these men, they are lucky to have a bar girl, even for a night.

You obviously mean the overweight simmet and shorts wearing tattoo covered facial haired type, and you are so right.

eek · November 18, 2012

Havent read the whole thread, so apologies if im repeating anything said.

Its easy to understand why. If a guy is lonely, hoping for love, gets attention and feels like a king, hes going to develop feelings for the girl making him feel this way. Its up to him then to give himself a bit of self-talk and try think logically.

Have nothing against guys wanting to be "white knights". The soft side of me sees it as romantic and touching when a man feels this way for a woman. Unrealistic? Yes, probably. Still, there must be some success stories out there, just the odds are not so good. Depends if there really is a decent match going on or not (whatever the criteria may be).

On the flip side, i have a good male friend who sees two "masseuses". He is an attractive older man with charm and wit, takes care of himself, and is financially sound. He enjoys being romantic with these women. Takes them for dinners, movies, etc. Sometimes thats all the evenings involve. Straight up he told these women that he wants nothing deeper, just companionship and dates etc. Of course, when a man is kind, charming, attractive, etc etc..instinctively a woman can fall for him. So he has the problem of these women getting sulky and sad, because ultimately they have fallen in love and want more.

If we are looking for love, its easy to fall for a person that provides what we instinctively want. Just have to think logically if its real or an act/transaction.

Do also think that there can be love in large age gaps. Security and a feeling of protection can earn you love from a woman who needs that and wishes that. Desire/ strong sexual attraction?..probably not. But, surely we all know that a strong sexual attraction can be separate from a feeling of love.

Edited November 18, 2012 by eek

rene123 · November 18, 2012

Very well said, eek. I agree with all you wrote.

belg · November 18, 2012

maybe the white man thinks this is charity for the poor + love (lets call it sex) in return = thai economics

Baerboxer · November 18, 2012

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

I know quite a few people who fell in love with and married bar girls. The girls selected them based on their income, potential to earn higher income, long term earning potential, generosity and gullibility. Some of these couples are of very similar ages. The girl will oftern have several boyfriends on the go, all paying money to keep her from going back to the bar. If it comes to marriage they'll pick based on wealth - current and potential. I reckon 10% of the ones I've met change and look after their husbands and maybe love grows. The other 90% screw around as often as they can,