Kinnock Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 One of the many wonderful things about Thailand is that there's seems to be an endless supply of amazing women. So if you are with a girl (assuming there's no kids involved) and she's not a 100% fit to your lifestyle .... then walk away. In the US, when some poor guy has been dumped by his hot girlfriend - his friends will say 'don't worry mate - plenty more fish in the ocean". But the reality is that there's probably only a few Trout and a couple of Whales available. But here - there IS plenty more fish in the ocean - and there's even a few places where they are gathered for you in huge shoals to make fishing easier. So why tolerate all the stress? So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. And get blown all over Bangkok. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 the real problem is the lottery. She's pregnant at the moment, the house is in decay and so is our relationshit because of this. It has just grown on her (and me), and she seems totally willing to give up everything except for the lottery. As they say in Thailand, cancel her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooked Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 ฿3000 a month for one year, she will go back to Pattaya sooner or later anyway. Sounds a bit naughty but that's what it looks like from here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galvheim Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 She sounds like a total loser and waster,time to cut and run?Are the kids yours?At some point someone's going to come looking for you to pay her debts,be very careful! I have been running from this place a number of times where I have not felt safe at all, fearing some kind of setup or attack. I've even slept two night in some ricefield just to feel safer. It has been a hell of a ride, and she scroupelous use her kids as means of holding me here. I've also shown her that my money has been transferred to my parents account and that I no longer have a visa-card in my Thai-bank so that I can only access my account using my passport together with my bankbook. Thats what is has come to. Now she is gambling on me supporting her since she have my kid. All I do now is making her aware of what I think, and keeping a smile up for her, so that I can just wait it out until I'm back in Norway. I don't know how safe this is, but its frustrating when staying in a place where you can not even trust the person you've married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) I'm guessing they are not his. Which would be even sadder in a way... Correct, they're not mine, and correct it is sad, because there's no way for me to help them out, and will have to cut them off as I cut her off the supply. But the new kid is mine though, but she really leave me with few options here... My family in Norway is aware of the situation and agree with my few choises. I have considered an external money receiver to help them, but in her familys view I am the bad person here, since she has made quite an effort to talk shit in her Khomein language. I think so, because there is really no person around here who as much as talk or greet me in any way. With this new information you have 1 baby with a Thai girl in a rural village and you pay every month to take care, also her 2 kids from another man. I think her family should be grateful to you. You already do good! Edited November 23, 2012 by Dancealot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galvheim Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 SteelJoe: yes, that was a real good post. Thanks a lot. A lot of things ring true as to what I've seen. I will maybe find a way later. But at the moment its just too much going on in my brain, as to how far I will try to push her at the moment. I need safer distance, as she have many times uttered that ending this by just fleeing the scene; "you will have BIG problem" or "you WILL see what happens". Not easy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) SteelJoe: yes, that was a real good post. Thanks a lot. A lot of things ring true as to what I've seen. I will maybe find a way later. But at the moment its just too much going on in my brain, as to how far I will try to push her at the moment. I need safer distance, as she have many times uttered that ending this by just fleeing the scene; "you will have BIG problem" or "you WILL see what happens". Not easy... Before you even posted this I was about to tell you to be VERY careful and get the hell out of there. I won't go into how I know of what I speak -- other than to say I've been here about 30 years and have some tales to tell (my own experiences and others) -- but trust me on this: it may not get dangerous but it absolutely MIGHT. Give her zero indications and slip away the first chance you get leaving no trace. Seriously. You can't do your unborn child any good until you are in a much better situation. Edited November 23, 2012 by SteeleJoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I have to say it: If this is a troll...well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooked Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Oh boy, you are in trouble! Get away my friend. I don't think that you can do anything to improve your situation. You landed in a bad family, and I think that you are right to fear for your life. If you are around for the birth of your child you will be in an even deeper hole than you are now, this is a very emotional experience. Get away is my earnest advice, you can still send a little money for a time. Don't acknowledge that the child is yours, you can look after it as you wish. Easy for us guys to tell you what to do from a distance, but I think that you need to to GET OUT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) SteelJoe: yes, that was a real good post. Thanks a lot. A lot of things ring true as to what I've seen. I will maybe find a way later. But at the moment its just too much going on in my brain, as to how far I will try to push her at the moment. I need safer distance, as she have many times uttered that ending this by just fleeing the scene; "you will have BIG problem" or "you WILL see what happens". Not easy... To comfort you: this is standard operating procedure. I have been through this. She is ordered by her family to blackmail you in order to get money from you. I agree with the former's posters. Runaway, but think about some way to take care of your baby(B3000, 1 year) no more.. Edited November 23, 2012 by Dancealot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arlissmichaels Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I have to say it:If this is a troll...well done! Best you get over to Stickman and have a read, this can and has happened before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Best you get over to Stickman and have a read, this can and has happened before. Are you freaking kidding me? First of all if you'd red anything other than that one post you'd see I don't need to be told. Secondly, I think there's a good chance I know far more about Thailand than Stickman ever will -- and much of it learned quite possibly before he ever imagined coming here. I need to read Stickman...classic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrer Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 1000b p/d and she'd be very comfortable. The leeches won't be far away though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrer Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) Sorry, just reading up. 0 baht p/d. Leave and don't come back. I automatically presumed she was a normal adult human. Edited November 23, 2012 by cbrer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainman34014 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 The minute you send just 1 Baht you are co-dependant to her gambling habit. Before you go back just tell her that you've had enough of being a co-dependant already and you're not prepared to prop up her disgusting habit from now on. Oh; and when I said 'before', I meant literally moments before as you may find that you don't survive to leave any later ! Habitual gamblers can be very dangerous people when riled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galvheim Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 If I was not worried before, I am now... Seems like running, as in fleeing, may be the only way out, but where? The border to Cambodia? I just don't know how to play things as "usual" I think they read me too, as to see that this will be over after I get my ass out from here. I can't hide my feelings to this and they see a change in my attitude as well as I think I see a change in theirs. I have said too much maybe too, about not signing any birth certificate or that if she not stop/tell me what's going on then there will be no money after I reach shore in Norway. But I should try to be as cold as her and play this out, but I promise you its hard when the kids are trying to fix this problem for us, and trying in their way to keep us together. I not bullshit them, as much as I not want to see them stop eat or go around with worried faces all day. They pray to buddha every night and they know they can not stand up to her. As much as would like to keep things at calm trying to ignore this, I do not want to see this frustration going on anymore as I can do nothing to change this. It has been mote than two years since I talk very loud in Lotus that "if I see you play one more baht in that lottery I will leave you. From then on theres been ups and downs all the way and still shes playing as never before, and everything seems like a bad dream. In fact I sleep more than 15 hours pr day, just because its a much easier life in my dreams than in my wake-up life. I didn't think that people could be like this, honestly. Or at least one should get as deserved, but I don't feel this comes as deserved, even though I might have said and done some stupid things along the way in my "investigation" as to what our relationship is built upon on her side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) ...Before you go back just tell her that you've had enough of being a co-dependant already and you're not prepared to prop up her disgusting habit from now on. Oh; and when I said 'before', I meant literally moments before as you may find that you don't survive to leave any later ! Habitual gamblers can be very dangerous people when riled. Foolish advice. Right up until you last see her, never let on that you are leaving. Do it so that she doesn't even now you've left until you already have. If you feel compelled to have some sort of small and futile victory by having the last word, do so by phone or email. Maybe when you are in a more secure environment (with some other people around) you can try and do something about your kid. But until you are not only safely removed and have done whatever you want to do about your child, there's nothing to be gained by antagonizing her OR appeasing her. Edited November 23, 2012 by SteeleJoe 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 ...Before you go back just tell her that you've had enough of being a co-dependant already and you're not prepared to prop up her disgusting habit from now on. Oh; and when I said 'before', I meant literally moments before as you may find that you don't survive to leave any later ! Habitual gamblers can be very dangerous people when riled. Foolish advice. Right up until you last see her, never let on that you are leaving. Do it so that she doesn't even now you've left until you already have. If you feel compelled to have some sort of small and futile victory by having the last word, do so by phone or email. Maybe when you are in a more secure environment (with some other people around) you can try and do something about your kid. But until you are not only safely removed and have done whatever you want to do about your child, there's nothing to be gained by antagonizing her OR appeasing her. never let on that you are leaving. Aint that the truth, I posted on another thread about walking out and never going back, thats exactly what I did. Unless you have lived with a bi-polar psycho you have no idea what I am talking about. Too many try and make excuses for them, its the wrong time of the month, cultural differences, language problems, been there done that, its BS, the problem is the psycho. Walk, and free your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Sorry, just reading up. 0 baht p/d. Leave and don't come back. I automatically presumed she was a normal adult human. Why? Most/many Farangs visiting Thailand are not. This is how many "she" makes their living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiameseCurios Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Best you get over to Stickman and have a read, this can and has happened before. Are you freaking kidding me? First of all if you'd red anything other than that one post you'd see I don't need to be told. Secondly, I think there's a good chance I know far more about Thailand than Stickman ever will -- and much of it learned quite possibly before he ever imagined coming here. I need to read Stickman...classic. Ah, that old chestnut. The worn-out "I've been here longer than you" line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) Best you get over to Stickman and have a read, this can and has happened before. Are you freaking kidding me? First of all if you'd red anything other than that one post you'd see I don't need to be told. Secondly, I think there's a good chance I know far more about Thailand than Stickman ever will -- and much of it learned quite possibly before he ever imagined coming here. I need to read Stickman...classic. Ah, that old chestnut. The worn-out "I've been here longer than you" line. No, the "I've been here longer than Stickman" line. Get it right. (Read again) Is that one a worn out chestnut too? (You must know). I confess I'd never thought I'd say it: it was a moment of weakness but I am so bored with people thinking they read Stickman and know what they need to know about Thailand -- and to have one of them suggest I need to read Stickman to know what's what? Well, it was too much at a moment where I was tired and irritable. Given a chance to go back, I'd not have said it -- but I meant every word and stand by it. Edited November 23, 2012 by SteeleJoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiameseCurios Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Best you get over to Stickman and have a read, this can and has happened before. Are you freaking kidding me? First of all if you'd red anything other than that one post you'd see I don't need to be told. Secondly, I think there's a good chance I know far more about Thailand than Stickman ever will -- and much of it learned quite possibly before he ever imagined coming here. I need to read Stickman...classic. Ah, that old chestnut. The worn-out "I've been here longer than you" line. No, the "I've been here longer than Stickman" line. Get it right. (Read again) Is that one a worn out chestnut too? (You must know). I confess I'd never thought I'd say it: it was a moment of weakness but I am so bored with people thinking they read Stickman and know what they need to know about Thailand -- and to have one of them suggest I need to read Stickman to know what's what? Well, it was too much at a moment where I was tired and irritable. Given a chance to go back, I'd not have said it -- but I meant every word and stand by it. Fair point. But knowledge and experience will always show. Well ... they will if they're authentic. Never feel the need to prop up your comments with references to how long you've been here. IMO, such references serve only to dilute the points you're trying to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteeleJoe Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) Fair point. But knowledge and experience will always show. Well ... they will if they're authentic. Never feel the need to prop up your comments with references to how long you've been here. IMO, such references serve only to dilute the points you're trying to make. Read again. I didn't feel the need to prop my comments with references to how long I've been here (though in some cases ones experience is relevant and thus merits mentioning -- and its foolish to claim otherwise): what I did was point out why I didn't need to read Stickman to opine on this topic. Impressive display of condescension by the way. Both posts! You don't come off as an arrogant prig at all! Honest! (And I know something about being an arrogant prig). Edited November 23, 2012 by SteeleJoe 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiameseCurios Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Fair point. But knowledge and experience will always show. Well ... they will if they're authentic. Never feel the need to prop up your comments with references to how long you've been here. IMO, such references serve only to dilute the points you're trying to make. Read again. I didn't feel the need to prop my comments with references to how long I've been here But you did though, didn't you. Impressive display of condescension by the way. Both posts! Thank you. Sometimes little people need to be reminded of their place. Quality, not quantity. Try to remember that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rene123 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 It's more than I've got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverSure Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I wouldn't send another baht. It won't go for any kids regardless, and that is her doing, not yours. I would also get very lost, never to be heard from again. It's too late, and off topic, but for the life of me I can't understand farangs getting married in LOS. I know it works some times, but when it doesn't... Oh well, life goes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehelmsman Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 3-4k a month. If she wants more, let her get a job. There is always plenty of casual farm work available at 200-300bht per day. Did you tell us ..... whose kids? If your biological kids make that 6k a month. Classy - Always good for a laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manly100 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I can really see a good outcome here. You confirm the baby is yours and legally keep the baby and divorce her. Pay her off so you never see her or her family again. Let your new TGF be a mother to your baby. You'll end up with a beautiful baby, a great TGF and done all you reasonably could. Her and her other children don't stand a chance but in Thailand that outcome is still not all bad. Do everything at arms length and ignore all her subversion. Done right, 10 years down the road you'll have a nice little family. If she spins it into keeping a connection with your baby, skip the above and do a full walk away as keeping a connection is zero percent move for you, your baby, your wife and your future. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehelmsman Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I wouldn't send another baht. It won't go for any kids regardless, and that is her doing, not yours. I would also get very lost, never to be heard from again. It's too late, and off topic, but for the life of me I can't understand farangs getting married in LOS. I know it works some times, but when it doesn't... Oh well, life goes on. Very sound advice. Abandon your kids. That will show her who the boss is. Super good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I understand and agree with what steelejoe was talking about but then someone got in the way.. Shame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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