There's Only One Answer To The Issue Of Infidelity: Thai Editorial

[webfact]

EDITORIAL

There's only one answer to the issue of infidelity

The Nation

Until social values go through a marked change, extramarital affairs and 'minor wives' will remain a fact of life, like it or not, in this country

BANGKOK: -- The wisdom of old Thai sayings is second to none. One of them rightly warns Thai women never to trust boyfriends or husbands who work as policemen, boatmen, likay performers or on the railway. Insightful as our ancestors undoubtedly were, the list is far too short for the modern day. Forestry officials, at least, should be added to the group, as current news headlines suggest.

Womanisers don't need mobile jobs to thrive, but it certainly helps. At least that's what one woman believes, and she has dealt with it. However, the complaint she filed that her husband - a senior provincial official of the Ministry of Natural Resources and Environment - was leaving a trail of infidelity wherever he went, addressed only the tip of the iceberg.

Anyone, from retired officials to tourists, would confirm that men who "work with nature" have a tendency to succumb to nature's urges. We've seen a news report about tourists witnessing a soap opera-style catfight at a forestry head office. Needless to say, the man at the centre of the female showdown was the chief of the forestry unit. The same report said some men like him were concealing as many as seven minor wives, not to mention countless one-night stands.

That a "problem" is solidly confirmed doesn't mean real action will be taken to solve it. Reporters have scrambled to get great quotes from senior authority figures, who made vague promises that disciplinary measures will be carried out to prevent such behaviour among hormone-driven male officials. Realistic voices - those saying there is little that "others" can do about it - were overshadowed by the empty threats of disciplinary punishment.

Keeping a man in one place might contain him for a while, but wherever there's a lust, there's a way. Travelling jobs present opportunities, but social attitudes are the main reason men look for opportunities in the first place. Moreover, in today's world, infidelity does not require a great distance from a spouse.

The woman who complained that her husband's frequent professional transfers were the cause of his betrayal might have overlooked the possibility that he was taking advantage of his job, rather than letting the job getting the better of him.

This news story has flash-in-the-pan publicity written all over it. It's common knowledge that forestry officials and those in similar jobs often have minor wives. That one woman has had enough doesn't mean her man will be able to reform. That she is desperate and deserves help doesn't mean that punishing her husband or confining him to one place of work will put a stop to his extracurricular activities. This social "problem" is far more complicated than the suggested solutions.

Shouldn't something be done? You may ask. Again, that this is the right question doesn't mean there is an easy or correct answer. Or whether an answer is even possible at all. The woman has done her bit and the rest is up to different individuals. Courageous or jealous, or both, she has done her job. The hard part is how society will react to this centuries-old issue that rears its ugly head at frequent intervals. People condemn infidelity, but do they also condemn corruption? Has a man ever been fired from his job in Thailand for having a minor wife? Who would dare to fire such a man to begin with?

The woman in question is echoing female voices of desperation through the generations. But even our ancient wisdom can only reflect this recurring issue and cannot provide a fix. Avoid travelling men, say the warnings from the past. If you can't do so, there's no ancient wisdom that effectively tells you what to do.

-- The Nation 2013-01-11

[bigbamboo]

Marjorie Proops would have gone crazy in Thailand!

[smutcakes]

This will see an upping in the workload of the Human Resources department at the Forestry office today.

[JurgenG]

There's only one answer to the issue of infidelity

The Ducks !!!!

[Thai at Heart]

At it isn't Mr Ts fault.

[phuturatica]

I guess its more of a culture thing as well. It's been going on for a long time and its ingrained into society in Thailand that it's acceptable.

[Ricardo]

Make Thailand Safe for unfaithful husbands ... ban scissors along with vibrators !

[IBoldnewguy]

The womanizers seem to catch the blame. What about the man hunters? Who really catches who? After all to dance the Tango it still takes two.

[bushwacker]

The minor wife is one of the Thai customs that I really like. The wife seems to have a problem with this, and we frequently argue about how unfair it is to select only the Thai customs that are favorable .

[noitom]

Overall, it's a very deceitful society and culture in all aspects. Deceit and double dealing is part of Thai DNA. Deceit, corruption, and double dealing is a way of life here in Thailand. Everyone knows this. Why in the world would the newspaper write some tripe editorial pontificating about this subject in this outlandish context? Cheating on wives and cheating on husbands is merely a subset of the broken character of the Thai culture, where everything is for sale and has a price, and/or a rationale/justification.

Why even the newspapers and media are outright deceitful. Just look at the way a story written or an editorial expresses a view. Half truths, blatant omissions, overlooking and excusing away crimes, and not facing reality. Thais live in a duplicitous state of mind and write about in this newspaper and then they occasionally read it, the same old tripe. It is a culturally duplicitous society. They love it, they love themselves, and they self loathe themselves at the same time. They have surrendered their self esteem a long time ago, but their egos are immense in order to compensate for this very low bottom feeder state of mind and culture.

[ratcatcher]

At it isn't Mr Ts fault.

Definitely not, Lydia will attest to that.

[OzMick]

Does Thailand have an overwhelming majority of women? If not statistics will tell us there is a large number of chicken chokers, or that Thai women are also having multiple heterosexual relationships.

That Thai society chooses to ignore this and cling to the "faithful little woman" fantasy is reflected in the language. A male who has multiple partners is a butterfly, or in extreme cases, a helicopter. A woman who has multiple partners is a slut.

[chiangmaikelly]

From the OP. "The wisdom of old Thai sayings is second to none. One of them rightly warns Thai women never to trust boyfriends or husbands who work as policemen, boatmen, likay performers or on the railway."

I don't know if I agree with this. Below is a photo of a male likay performer. He looks like a guy women would trust. I don't know that I'd trust the guy but women would be able to trust this guy don't you think?

Edited January 11, 2013 by chiangmaikelly

[warfie]

Overall, it's a very deceitful society and culture in all aspects. Deceit and double dealing is part of Thai DNA. Deceit, corruption, and double dealing is a way of life here in Thailand. Everyone knows this. Why in the world would the newspaper write some tripe editorial pontificating about this subject in this outlandish context? Cheating on wives and cheating on husbands is merely a subset of the broken character of the Thai culture, where everything is for sale and has a price, and/or a rationale/justification.

Why even the newspapers and media are outright deceitful. Just look at the way a story written or an editorial expresses a view. Half truths, blatant omissions, overlooking and excusing away crimes, and not facing reality. Thais live in a duplicitous state of mind and write about in this newspaper and then they occasionally read it, the same old tripe. It is a culturally duplicitous society. They love it, they love themselves, and they self loathe themselves at the same time. They have surrendered their self esteem a long time ago, but their egos are immense in order to compensate for this very low bottom feeder state of mind and culture.

...as it is everywhere else in the world...

[caykay]

Considering taking a second wife was only kind of but not really outlawed 100 years ago, how does this surprise anyone?

[upena]

How does any Thai Government official afford 7 minor wives?

[Nigel1500]

My wife has very strict rules on this topic:

1. Only one wife;

2. Only one mistress.

She made no mention of girlfriends.

[chiangmaikelly]

How does any Thai Government official afford 7 minor wives?

Maybe he has a part time job as an English teacher.

[nickcar]

How does any Thai Government official afford 7 minor wives?

Seems to me this is the one interesting tit bit in the story! I had always thought officials had low salaries:)

[Fluxguru]

Overall, it's a very deceitful society and culture in all aspects. Deceit and double dealing is part of Thai DNA. Deceit, corruption, and double dealing is a way of life here in Thailand. Everyone knows this. Why in the world would the newspaper write some tripe editorial pontificating about this subject in this outlandish context? Cheating on wives and cheating on husbands is merely a subset of the broken character of the Thai culture, where everything is for sale and has a price, and/or a rationale/justification.

Why even the newspapers and media are outright deceitful. Just look at the way a story written or an editorial expresses a view. Half truths, blatant omissions, overlooking and excusing away crimes, and not facing reality. Thais live in a duplicitous state of mind and write about in this newspaper and then they occasionally read it, the same old tripe. It is a culturally duplicitous society. They love it, they love themselves, and they self loathe themselves at the same time. They have surrendered their self esteem a long time ago, but their egos are immense in order to compensate for this very low bottom feeder state of mind and culture.

To talk of and blame a 'Thai DNA' is outlandish and borders on racism. What we deal with here is a cultural-historic problem that throws its shadow on the 'minor wife' situation as on corruption. It is found in every culture in a different manner. It doesn't concern Thai men alone, it also concerns Thai women. Their ethical stand in this respect is the same as the ethical stand of Thai men. To overcome the vestiges of a feudal system takes generations and a restructuring of the educational and economic system, a cultural revolution, as it is taking place on different levels everywhere in the world right now.

Expats shouldn't arrogantly believe that they are excluded from this process.

[Baerboxer]

How does any Thai Government official afford 7 minor wives?

Seems to me this is the one interesting tit bit in the story! I had always thought officials had low salaries:)

They do - but their are opportunities to enhance them!

[Jawnie]

This is one reason why the Land of Smiles ain't. It's also the reason I never take Thais at 'face value', men or women. Promoting this practice is a cultural booby-trap and is the same as saying, "I wish you every unhappiness."

Edited January 11, 2013 by Jawnie

[chiangmaikelly]

Prozac is the only way to address the issue. Compare the use of Prozac in Thailand with any other country of with a similar number of good looking women. With fidelity comes drugs like Prozac.

Edited January 11, 2013 by chiangmaikelly

[rubl]

How does any Thai Government official afford 7 minor wives?

Seems to me this is the one interesting tit bit in the story! I had always thought officials had low salaries:)

Maybe just happen to be handsome ?

BTW a wise, old taxi driver once told me that if you have a problem with your wife and mia noi, it's time for number three. He was really serious about that

[RogueLeader]

Monogamy isn't for everyone.

[belg]

now you farangs can start to understand the widespread corruption in thailand, one might be to support all those mia nois

[Mudcrab]

I guess its more of a culture thing as well. It's been going on for a long time and its ingrained into society in Thailand that it's acceptable.

Good Lord....and every other culture as well

[Jawnie]

Questions from/to the peanut gallery:

Putting aside for the moment all of the 'goodies' someone gets from having extra wives, or not counting those goodies as 'happiness,' can anyone really say that Thai men and women are happy about this whole state of affairs? Deep down inside do Thais honestly feel it is okay to have multiple wives, and not simply that they are 'settling' or putting up with it because everyone else is doing it?

[chiangmaikelly]

Questions from/to the peanut gallery:

Putting aside for the moment all of the 'goodies' someone gets from having extra wives, or not counting those goodies as 'happiness,' can anyone really say that Thai men and women are happy about this whole state of affairs? Deep down inside do Thais honestly feel it is okay to have multiple wives, and not simply that they are 'settling' or putting up with it because everyone else is doing it?

You got to be kidding! How many psychiatrists per capita in Thailand? How many anti depressant drugs per capita? Do you think it is because of political stability or wealth of the average Somchai?

[hellodolly]

Overall, it's a very deceitful society and culture in all aspects. Deceit and double dealing is part of Thai DNA. Deceit, corruption, and double dealing is a way of life here in Thailand. Everyone knows this. Why in the world would the newspaper write some tripe editorial pontificating about this subject in this outlandish context? Cheating on wives and cheating on husbands is merely a subset of the broken character of the Thai culture, where everything is for sale and has a price, and/or a rationale/justification.

Why even the newspapers and media are outright deceitful. Just look at the way a story written or an editorial expresses a view. Half truths, blatant omissions, overlooking and excusing away crimes, and not facing reality. Thais live in a duplicitous state of mind and write about in this newspaper and then they occasionally read it, the same old tripe. It is a culturally duplicitous society. They love it, they love themselves, and they self loathe themselves at the same time. They have surrendered their self esteem a long time ago, but their egos are immense in order to compensate for this very low bottom feeder state of mind and culture.

Is there any thing you like about the Thai's?

You certainly have nothing good to say about them.