My Wife Has Thrown Me In The Deep End!

[TexasRanger]

Being forced seemed to help me, Inever had a problem speaking Thai probably because my wife doesn't speak English. I always used to use the thai2english software to send emails, i could read them OK but never even tried to write. Having got a new tablet that runs android I have found I have no choice but to type in Thai, the fact that I have no choice meant I had to do it and it is coming along nicely, far from perfect but if she can read and understand my emails that is good enough. Get your Mrs to do what an old Chinese language teacher used to do for me, she would ask me what I wanted to eat and drink and unless I answered in Chinese I got nothing. Tough love is what you need but the Mrs has to be onboard and force you. Good luck.

Sent from my GT-N8000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Dancealot]

Thanks for all your input.

I have started and failed a few self learn courses, but seem to become easily distracted and nothing seems to stick.

Trust me I really do want to learn.

So at the moment I am slowwwly going through High Speed Thai, so I am learning to read and write. I just need to get myself into a routine and dedicate at least an hour or two each day. As I am way out in the sticks, I am the only farang for miles, so it is essential for me to learn......I refer to my OP relating the sleep analogy.

Cheers.

If your life depended on it, would you be putting forth the same effort you have to this point? It looks like the answer is no. Since you're a golfer, I'll give you an analogy.. You're like the guy that doesn't practice or play golf more than once a month, but when he goes out, he expects to hit every shot perfect. But in your case, the guy isn't very athletic either, and he knows it.

The reality is, your life in a way does depend on it. For the situation described, you will depend on thai people for your social outlet. You will have to be extremely good at thai to have any sort of meaningful conversations. As humans, most of us need social interaction. I really don't see how you've made it this long to be honest.

So.. ya, my recommendation to you is to treat it as a matter of life and death. Get all of the available resources.. Benjawan Poomsan Becker makes great stuff.. Start with her beginners books.. Get her other supplements as well. Use the Anki flash card technology available online, etc etc.. Have your wife do recordings of different words, and you try to repeat them.

You can do it, you're just not giving it anywhere close to 100%, and that's what it takes.

Wow! that sounds inspiring!

Agree with Benjawan work. I am already glancing at the Intermediate book sometimes.

[MacChine]

Why bother? The obvious advantage to not learning Thai language is them you don't get annoyed by understanding what The Thai are saying, so much easier to ignore.( Although the sound of it is horrible enough.)

[rene123]

depends on age , you cant teach an old dog new tricks .... i got over the problem by moving from the village

to the city here ( udon thani ) more people speak english in udon than in the u.k now . and my tw,s english

spelling is better than mine .

Thanks for my morning laugh, Marty. My Canadian sister living in London, England would agree with you.

[15Peter20]

Sometimes my wife and I joke that if we were fluent in each others' language we'd have broken up long ago. We've known and loved each other for 20 years now.

Edited January 20, 2013 by 15Peter20

[transam]

You are not alone OP, I've been here a while and am still at square one. Readers here must understand that for some, me included, taking in a new language just doesn't compute, bit like being dyslexic but with spoken stuff, or someone who is deaf and dumb, they get around communicating somehow.

I am lucky cos folk around me do communicate with their little English skills. But, l can go out on my own and do most stuff without speaking the lingo. Soooooooooo, OP, it's not about giving up it's about adapting to our ''handy cap'' .............

[screwit]

All I know in thai is "alenai?", what?

Edited January 20, 2013 by screwit

[billd766]

I can't understand marrying someone and not being able to converse. And, it you both decide to live in Thailand then that should be the obvious language to learn. It might be different if the wife came to live in your country.

Please try not to assume that you speak for everybody because you don't

You are probably someone who is younger and has good hearing.

When you are older trying to learn a tonal languge like Thai and only have perhaps 70% hearing capability and even less for tones it is extremely difficult.

There are many people on TVF who are older with this problem and are married to Thais.

Which Thai do you speak? Central, Issan, Southern, Thai Lao, Thai Khmer, Thai Burmese, Northern. Take your pick but a lot of the time if you speak in one Thai dialect there will be others who speak in a different dialect who won't understand you.

By the way I have known my wife for 20 years, married for 12 and have an 8 year old son who is Thai and speaks some English too. I have been working on and offshore for most of that and living here full time for 10 years. I get on reasonably well in living and I live out in the countryside. If I need things and don't have the right Thai words I usually go to Google translate anf the get a photo of what I need online and put the two together and that works well too.

Have you EVER listened to a Thai conversation when 5 or 6 people are all trying to talk louder than each other.

Edited January 20, 2013 by billd766

[NanLaew]

I reckon the OP needs to download this and get with the program!

With special thanks to krisb

[transam]

I can't understand marrying someone and not being able to converse. And, it you both decide to live in Thailand then that should be the obvious language to learn. It might be different if the wife came to live in your country.

Total rolox. So if l was deaf and dumb and loved my lady, in your opinion l should walk away.

[NanLaew]

I can't understand marrying someone and not being able to converse. And, it you both decide to live in Thailand then that should be the obvious language to learn. It might be different if the wife came to live in your country.

Total rolox. So if l was deaf and dumb and loved my lady, in your opinion l should walk away.

Yes, but if you do, make sure that you let her know by some other method as she will probably be expecting you back in time for dinner.

[Dancealot]

I can't understand marrying someone and not being able to converse. And, it you both decide to live in Thailand then that should be the obvious language to learn. It might be different if the wife came to live in your country.

Total rolox. So if l was deaf and dumb and loved my lady, in your opinion l should walk away.

Relax he just forgot about that everyone can speak 'the language of love'

Edited January 20, 2013 by Dancealot

[transam]

I can't understand marrying someone and not being able to converse. And, it you both decide to live in Thailand then that should be the obvious language to learn. It might be different if the wife came to live in your country.

Total rolox. So if l was deaf and dumb and loved my lady, in your opinion l should walk away.

Relax he just forgot about that everyone can speak 'the language of love'

But l think it's a ''she''.

[Rsquared]

Once again, thanks to everyone for your advice, some really good stuff out there.

@ LarryBird, great comparison with golf and I do agree with you wholeheartedly, thanks.

Well it's head down, relax and try and make it fun is I think the best approach with a hint of "Life or Death" thrown in for good measure.

Also like Texas Ranger's idea with the wife.....seem to have run out of "Likes".

Cheers.

[Dancealot]

Heads up RX! Time to make a plan.

[transam]

Once again, thanks to everyone for your advice, some really good stuff out there.

@ LarryBird, great comparison with golf and I do agree with you wholeheartedly, thanks.

Well it's head down, relax and try and make it fun is I think the best approach with a hint of "Life or Death" thrown in for good measure.

Also like Texas Ranger's idea with the wife.....seem to have run out of "Likes".

Cheers.

Just live your life, it's sometimes difficult whether in LOS or farangland, keep smiling and you will be OK.

[Rsquared]

Sorry guys for sounding confusing, I meant to say head down, bum up and start studying.

Well I suppose now is as good a time as any.

Cheers.

[Dancealot]

Very good you explain this RX!

1 to me it means you are not afraid to speak your mind.

2 to me i personally consider 'heads down' in your situation 'heads up!' (exclamation mark included). There you go..

So are you in possession of the bejawan book that was discussed earlier? It really is my bible..

Mine looks rough because i travelled with me many times back and fort to Thailand..

Edited January 20, 2013 by Dancealot

[transam]

Buy a sound system and listen to your stuff, works for me, EVERY day.

[loong]

All I know in thai is "alenai?", what?

And you don't even know that

What? Pardon?

A-rai na

< Thai script removed >

Edited January 21, 2013 by metisdead

[Scully]

Don't use English with your wife, just use Thai. When you have to use it to communicate then it sinks in a lot quicker. I live out in the sticks and most dont speak English so Thai is the only way to get by, you soon pick it up.

[transam]

Don't use English with your wife, just use Thai. When you have to use it to communicate then it sinks in a lot quicker. I live out in the sticks and most dont speak English so Thai is the only way to get by, you soon pick it up.

์Not me.

Call me a numnut, don't care. Know what l can do, know what l can't do. You want a friend regardless of communication skills, l can do that.

[Scully]

Don't use English with your wife, just use Thai. When you have to use it to communicate then it sinks in a lot quicker. I live out in the sticks and most dont speak English so Thai is the only way to get by, you soon pick it up.

์Not me.

Call me a numnut, don't care. Know what l can do, know what l can't do. You want a friend regardless of communication skills, l can do that.

Fair enough, it works for me and I really am a numnut

[transam]

Don't use English with your wife, just use Thai. When you have to use it to communicate then it sinks in a lot quicker. I live out in the sticks and most dont speak English so Thai is the only way to get by, you soon pick it up.

์Not me.

Call me a numnut, don't care. Know what l can do, know what l can't do. You want a friend regardless of communication skills, l can do that.

Fair enough, it works for me and I really am a numnut

Your lucky, remember that, l am not.

[rct99q]

Not sure if this has been passed on but here goes.....

1) if the wife will not teach you Thai, and by that I mean sit you down, 30 minutes a day classroom style teaching you how to pronounce the characters correctly and you giving a 100% effort to listen and be a good student then skip to step 2

2) if you are unable to teach yourself because you can not commit to 30 minutes a day of study using all resources on the internet to there fullest go to step 3

3) find a bar girl who knows a little English, pay her 1,000 baht and have her dress up in her sexiest outfit, drive her to your place and introduce her as "Maddie" my new Thai Tutor who is going to charge 1,000 baht per hour (have your "tutor" hold up the 1,000 baht note - and have her say "me teach your husband everything, because you won't)!

If you get to step 3 your worries of not speaking Thai and having your wife explain you understand but don't really will be solved.

HOWEVER, my suggestion would be to try points 1 and 2 first.....

[rct99q]

and yes I know "their" but when in Thailand!

[Thongkorn]

I suppose its which situation you are in , I learned a few words very quickly when living in the jungle i just wanted to live in the Jungle for a while , one of those things to do type things. after about 2 months of wondering around with Thai people trying to speak to me. an old man about 70 picked an, ant up and pointed to it, and started to say to me mut mut, i thought he had lost it or just taking the Micky out of me then i realized he was trying to teach me Thai, After that i soon learned how to ask for food, or water, Say small things like good morning, good afternoon and the rest, he also he taught me the names of the nasty s, Snakes spiders and most other biting or stinging things. So it was in my interest to learn, maybe living in a place where you don't think you need to learn has some thing to do with it ,

[bigbamboo]

Look on the bright side.

Sometimes it's better if you don't know what they're saying!

[NancyL]

Some Thai wives don't want their western husbands learning Thai -- they want their husbands to be isolated and dependent upon them for even the simple transactions involving money, visas, property titles, etc. One of my pet peeves is watching the older western guys with their Thai wives conducting business at the bank, immigration, utility offices, etc, in Chiang Mai. These places have customer service reps who speak acceptable English, yet when a guy has a Thai wife, they will revert to talking to the wife in Thai. Often the customer service reps are speaking entire paragraphs about complex transactions, which the wife then conducts, often with minimal input from the western guy who is supplying the money. Certainly the poor guy is not getting a word-for-word translation of what he is signing or OKing.

My husband and I have been invited to a few social functions where we are the only western/western couple. All the other guys have the "good fortune" to be married to young, beautiful Thai wives while poor Hubby is stuck with his original western wife. Anyway, I'm in "no woman's land" at these functions -- I have little in common with the Thai wives and the guys don't want to talk with an old, pudgy white woman who reminds them of their first wife. So, I drink beer and hover. I understand the Thai language much better than I speak (and can read and write, too) All the wives talk about are the latest things their husband bought for them for them or their family -- how much money their husbands are spending on them. They try to out-do each other and you can see the jealousy building among them.

Once I shared with some of the guys what their wives were saying and they were shocked at their topics of conversation. I said, "what did you expect them to be saying -- how good you are in bed?"

[loong]

I suppose its which situation you are in , I learned a few words very quickly when living in the jungle i just wanted to live in the Jungle for a while , one of those things to do type things. after about 2 months of wondering around with Thai people trying to speak to me. an old man about 70 picked an, ant up and pointed to it, and started to say to me mut mut, i thought he had lost it or just taking the Micky out of me then i realized he was trying to teach me Thai, After that i soon learned how to ask for food, or water, Say small things like good morning, good afternoon and the rest, he also he taught me the names of the nasty s, Snakes spiders and most other biting or stinging things. So it was in my interest to learn, maybe living in a place where you don't think you need to learn has some thing to do with it ,

Another good example of how useful it is to learn to read Thai.

I think that most people who read "mut" will pronounce it the same as "cut", starting with an "m"

"Mot" to my mind is much closer to the Thai word for ant, "Mut" is nowhere near it.