mikk3 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Hi Just wondering if any men out there are able to give me their real opinion when it comes to having children at 50 yrs old and up (of coarse the Thai lady isnt that old) I already have 2 children - 29 & 28 who are grown up, are self sufficient, dont live at home and I kind of like it that way. I am getting pressure from my lady who is a lovely lady and we are a good match I would say with confidence, however I nearly vomit at the thought of starting again with a new born. Am I being selfish by not wanting to start again or am I being sensible - Please help Looking for honest replies as I am going crazy thinking about this subject. Thanks Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DiamondKing Posted January 24, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted January 24, 2013 Sounds like you have answered your own question 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uptheos Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I nearly vomit at the thought of starting again with a new born. Do you need anything else to confirm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GuestHouse Posted January 24, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted January 24, 2013 Bless her, she wants to 'clinch the deal'. Go for a snip and enjoy the ride(s). 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chris1dna Posted January 24, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) Hi Mark, I am 52 with a four year old son. I have an 18 yo son and 28 year old daughter from a previous marriage. Went through the same process as you. To much to say in this topic to type in here but to put it simply, it's worth it. For me at least. My wife was nearly 35 when we had our boy. The clock was ticking and we decided to do it. Her desire to have a child took years to wear me down into agreement. If your lady is in her 30s it's a strong bet that she is feeling the hand of time very strongly to have a child if she doesn't have one already. I have not regretted our decision since to have a child. My age and maturity now are perfect for being a daddy again. I was young and distracted for the first two. Now I am mellower and far more patient and attentive with my lil guy than I ever was before. Yea, I wonder sometimes how am I going to keep up with him as he gets older but ya know what? I'll adapt an we will be just fine. My wife is an amazing mother an together we enjoy this boy like you would not believe. 50 is the new 30! Didn't you know! Good luck whatever you decide. Edit to add. We were already married for 8 years when we had our child. Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app Edited January 24, 2013 by chris1dna 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evadgib Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Guesthouse just about nailled it. Assuming this isn't a wind-up i'd agree that a quiet snip (claiming you had it done years ago) is the answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breadbin Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I'm 42 and wouldn't go again. So at 50 no way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbamboo Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Having a seventeen year old teenager around at 50 is quite enough! Can't imagine what that would be like at 70. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fgis Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Just do it if you want a new kid for yourself. Yes, be selfish and just think about YOU. You gave a lot already and now it's time to only think about YOU and not please anyone else that could be changed so easily... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottocus Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... <deleted> post 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 The 'pressure" the OP is talking about is an important subject matter.. The issue is: She want it and at the same time you are open to her suggestions but remain apprehensive about the consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 One more thing Mr. mikk3. Indeed you answered your own question . You wrote down your gut feeling that translates to me is not to have a baby. Then again if you really want to be with her and if this feeling really makes you happy you should plan it first and then release the sperm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Usual blinkered advice from those who never had children in their 50's I guess, some may even have non at all, amazing isn't it...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancealot Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Usual blinkered advice from those who never had children in their 50's I guess, some may even have non at all, amazing isn't it...... You failed to give your advice... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Perhaps the OP should google the dangers to a child being fathered by a man past middle age. I regret never being a dad, but at 56-57 It would not be fair to the child IMHO 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 6 years ago, I became Father to my step-daughter when she was 18 months old and I was 51 years old. Being a parent can be hard at times, but she has given me so much joy, I have absolutely no regrets. My only concern is that I could be dead before she becomes an adult. I think that it is ok to have a child at 50, I wouldn't even consider it if I was 60. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinnieTheKhwai Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I'd go for it, too. And this is Thailand, Farangs kick the bucket at a higher rate anyway. Even 20 year olds get themselves killed riding motorbikes or in other creative ways. A responsible 50 year old may have as much time or more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinnieTheKhwai Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Bless her, she wants to 'clinch the deal'. I feel silly for commenting now, as you clearly know her. After all no Thai female could ever have a legitimate wish to have children. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overherebc Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Having a kid when you are fifty or fifty something is crazy. When you hit 65 plus you should be thinking about taking things easy not worrying about school fees and all the other stuff that will come up. Plus your kid will grow up in a world so different from yours it will probably be almost impossible to relate to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurnell Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Have a look at your financial situation. These little horrors ain't cheap you know. My 2 are in a cheap international school and the cost is 40k a month and that will go up in the next 10 years. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lannarebirth Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Have a look at your financial situation. These little horrors ain't cheap you know. My 2 are in a cheap international school and the cost is 40k a month and that will go up in the next 10 years. An important consideration to be sure. Personally I would definitely not have children at 50, or any other age if it meant they had to attend the government school system here. So budget about 5 million +/- for education, not counting post secondary education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadman Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I fail to see how the issue of age comes into it. The general concensus here from some is that fathers at 50 are going to be dead by 65? Thats very debateable for a start in the moderm health fix most things age. Guys at 50 are emotionally a hell of a lot more mature for fathership than most in their 20's. But what more than anything makes a fallacy of age to fathership is what occurs all over the world and not only Thailand is the amount of fathers of all ages that walk out on their kids regardless. Both occurences leave the child fatherless. Perhaps also the older father dying does leave something more in the way of financial support from wills and the like than what the younger guy walking out does? As for the OP. Agree if it is making you vomit then don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 wow, difficult question! I have two kids myself and I don't want more. I'll probably get snipped sometime soon, so I will have an easy time later if the case ever arises. Maybe get a discrete snip with no scars while on a visit in Europe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muythai2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 how old is your g/f .. when your child is 10 years old you will be 50 .. and then 70 ..is this fair to the child to lose a father so young .... <deleted> post i lost a parent young, nothing <deleted> about it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenervoussurgeon Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I am 68 our son is at uni now ,for many years he lived in the Uk with my daughter who although now married was then in her late 20s ,he was her little brother and we all lived happilly , ,i suppose you could say that i am a young 68 so its never been a problem ,the only thing it is ,is expensive as they get older Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaspercat Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Having a kid when you are fifty or fifty something is crazy. When you hit 65 plus you should be thinking about taking things easy not worrying about school fees and all the other stuff that will come up. Plus your kid will grow up in a world so different from yours it will probably be almost impossible to relate to them. Money will take care of itself with savings and planning. As for the difference in views due to age. It may be a joy to see life young again. Give a fresh view on things. Also, for men to have children later in life is a good thing. The men tend to take better care of tjr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muythai2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 no comment, because there is to much BS here, I think the woman needs a morality check for more reasons then one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yannic Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 most of the times it is the woman who is selfish, just thinks about herself not about you. I have three kids 16, 13 and 3, at the birth of my youngest I was 42, I already felt too old and I think it is not really fair for my daughter. When she enters adulthood I am an old man with 60 plus . I think with above 50 you should tell it a quit and get the vasectomy as recommended, I actually did that already and I think that was the right choice. Evenso I love my little one like crazy, but imaging I was 5 or 10 years older with such a small one, no way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SweatySock Posted January 25, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted January 25, 2013 Read all the previous posts and have come to the conclusion that haven't we all missed a fundamental point here? So we come to Thailand and marry our respective Thai partners who tend to be a bit younger than ourselves. Hit 50, then decide "Sorry darling but I feel I'm too old for children. We're going to live a nice quiet life for the next 20+ years then I'm going to pop my clogs leaving you at 40/50 years old, alone and lonely for the rest of your life'" Isn't it a tad selfish to deny our partners the opportunity to have children? I have 2 daughters from my first marriage, 23 and 21. I spent most of their young lives pursuing a career, working 16-18 hours a day, rarely at home to provide them with a better future life. The part I forgot about was, I was never there to enjoy them growing up. I am now 55, work 5 days a week 08.00 to 16.00. I have a son who's 5 and a daughter who's almost 3. I see them every day, spend every weekend with them and have enjoyed immensely being part of their lives. I am also content in the knowledge that when I do part this mortal coil that my wife will have 2 children to give her company and be a family for her when I am no longer here. It takes 2 to make children and it should take 2 to decide whether to have children or not. Only my tuppence worth. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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