Wanna Hear A Blonde Joke ?

[Crow Boy]

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

A: An Air Bag.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?

A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?

A: A dope ring.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?

A: Divorcee'

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

[Crow Boy]

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?

A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?

A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

A: Branch Manager.

Q: What do you call a smart blond?

A: A golden retriever.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?

A: The back of her head.

[Crow Boy]

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?

A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".

[Crow Boy]

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?

A: The vegetable garden.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?

A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

[Crow Boy]

Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?

A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?

A: Perri-air.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?

A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?

A: She missed.

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?

A: Data transfer.

[Crow Boy]

Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?

A: Grade four.

Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?

A: 144 blondes.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?

A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?

A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"

A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

[Crow Boy]

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A: A blonde parade.

Q: What is the blonde's highest ambition in life?

A: They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What are the six worst years in a blonde's life.

A: Third grade.

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?

A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q: How to you keep a blonde busy all day?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

[Crow Boy]

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q: Why can't the blonde make ice cubes?

A: She lost the recipe.

Q: How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it?

A: With a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

A: The noise gave her a headache.

Q: How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work?

A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

A: Knock on the door.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?

A: The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

Edited March 26, 2007 by Crow Boy

[Crow Boy]

Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?

A: A blonde at a blinking red light.

Q: Did you hear about Pepsi's new soda just for blondes?

A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.

Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?

A: They're refuelling.

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?

A: She didn't want one for nights.

Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?

A: Her husband is out looking for the other man.

Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?

A: She was last years hide and seek winner.

Q: What is dumber than a blonde building a fire under the water?

A: Another blonde trying to put it out.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?

A: To get chocolate milk.

Edited March 26, 2007 by Crow Boy

[Crow Boy]

Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC?

A: A dumb terminal.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand?

A: So brunettes can understand them.

Q: How did the blond burn her ear?

A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?

A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?

A: Because blondes would have to think them up.

Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?

A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"?

A: When she got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia.

Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?

A: A case of empties.

[Crow Boy]

Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"

Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."

[Crow Boy]

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.

Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.

Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.

The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"

The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1.00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."

"Comfortable?" the guy questions.

"Yes, you see she reads slow

[Road_Runner]

A blonde goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant.

This is her first pregnancy.

The doctor asks her if she has any questions.

She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."

"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"

[Rykbanlor]

Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M factory?

She kept throwing out all the Ws.

[pitrevie]

The ventriloquist was doing his act and all his jokes were much the same as above poking fun at dumb blonds. Eventually this very attractive blond got up in the audience and said I have heard quite enough of this. I will have you know that there are blond scientists, blond politicians, doctors etc etc, not all blonds are stupid you know. The ventriloquist was very apologetic and that he didn’t mean to upset the lady at which she interrupted him and said, "You shut your mouth I was talking to that little sh*t on your knee not you".