Thai's Can Give It But Can't Take It

[samran]

she was making an observation people make to each other.

You were being demeaning.

There is a massive difference.

so if you post a pic of your wife or mother, do you mind if we make a few observations.

what was the reason for it, I have had many do it, they dont offend.

I have had others do it, they offend, its in the delivery and they were intending to be rude, and i know a few woman like that, and it shocks them when they get a bit back.

If the intent was rude, then I take your word for it.

Very often, well most of the time, it isn't. My relatives tell me all the time I've put on weight. I make the occasional observation to relo's in Thailand as well. It is taken as a comment, nothing more.

Your response though, could never be taken as an acceptable observation.

[uptheos]

my Thai friends insult me so often, and its all in fun, but you know when its fun, and when there is a hidden meaning if you know what i mean.

I'm surprised you didn't kick her in the ribs.

I know being called fat can hurt a woman's feelings, but I can't say I recall a man taking it so hard.

[SteeleJoe]

so they dont really understand when they call you fat or ugly, is that what your saying.

Thais don't typically call each other ugly (saying someone's haircut doesn't look good is not calling someone ugly). And calling someone fat may not be very nice but it doesn't have the same weight (see what I did there?) as it would to a Farang.

You were deliberately and consciously malicious - something Thais typically aren't (with exceptions I'm sure) when they make those sort of annoying comments. I'm surprised you can't see that you were a...well, less than likable in that instance.

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[CobraSnakeNecktie]

sorry to anyone about my sparring attacks on the OP. I figured a fighter would be fine with them and I think he manned up a little.

The thing about being offended or needing to offend is that it's called losing your center or balance.

Get a fighter or just a regular person to lose their center and the one losing their balance just likely lost the match.

I think Thai's do probe and needle a little but getting tweaked is a lesson in itself.

I do have to compliment Thai's on their letting go of issues a lot quicker than some in the west.

[robblok]

@muythai2013,

Injuries suck I hope you recover soon so you can workout again and get in the shape you like.

You are probably not happy with yourself at this point so remarks like that hit home easier.

Good luck with it.

[muythai2013]

you must know thais dont have belts, call that out.

I hope you will recover soon from all your injuries.

thankyou, i feel like an old man right now.

Well it's all about how you think and not so much about how you look, dont you think.

If you think the way you look makes you happy then fine. IMO

If you call someone else ugly while you yourself think this important to feel happy i would rather use a different quote after being called FAT.

It goes like this. "The more i drink; the better you look" , -- a little bit less direct.

The reason for the harsh comment was to make her remember, she is often rude, and she is vein, and I knew it would stick in her mind for a few years.

She may change her ways, I feel I did a wonderful thing for her, she may thank me one day, unless she ambushes me with a knife first one night when I return to Thailand soon before she realises what a mean person she was.

[muythai2013]

people can call me fat all day long, remember its 9 kilos, not even noticable.

call me ugly, call me a buffalo call me anything, friends often do.

its the intention behind it, that will cause an issue.

my friend called me a porker yesterday at lunch, thats fine, no bad intentions in her eyes or body language.

thais dont hide their feelings well, their face gives so much away.

Edited March 26, 2013 by muythai2013

[SteeleJoe]

so it seems being rude is acceptable in thailand according to people here, if rudeness is right then the more rude you are the more right it is.

next time I will not hold back.

Wow. You really don't any idea, do you?

I can't STAND cultural or moral relativists but to ignore that there are differences in culture that influence or even dictate behavior is just idiotic: try and get a grip on this: there is not one universal concept of what is "rude" or universal standard as to degrees of in appropriateness if any.

And the latter part of your comment is even more simplistic and unthinking: If someone likes to keep their house warm then it's even better for them to light it on fire!

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[aTomsLife]

I once asked my friend's GF -- a recent college grad -- if Thailand had produced a writer culturally equivalent to what Shakespeare is in the English speaking world. I was told that of course Thailand had, but she just couldn't think of any writers at the moment. I then responded that her inability to name such a person proved there wasn't such a person, otherwise s/he would have so much influence and be so famous it would be easy to recall the name. Needless to say, this caused an unintended loss of face.

Given that Shakespeare is one of the most significant artists in WORLD history and he's arguably the sole individual to reach the status he has (as a writer) in thousands of years in the English speaking world, that's kind of silly. ONE country - not Canada, the US, Scotland, Australia - on the whole planet produced ONE writer with that sort of influence and you think the Thais should have to?

And no offense intended but your friend's GF's inability to come up with say Sunthorn Phu is more a sign of a poor education or a very poor memory or a momentary freeze up.

And that anecdote says very little at all about Thais but frankly more about you. (It's not hard to come up with all sorts of anecdotes that reflect poorly on Thais - as no doubt could easily be done about people of my homeland or any other - but this aint one.)

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I used Shakespeare for the very reasons you cite -- even she would know who he is. It wasn't about a Thai writer having the same worldly influence, of course I know the answer to that. It was just my way of asking her to give me the name of a famous Thai writer. And before she got upset, we'd been having a very pleasant conversation, which was the point of my anecdote -- nothing about the way I phrased the question should have caused her to be so defensive. Sorry if I didn't write out the whole conversation for you; I assumed the gist was there.

I'm curious as to what you think my anecdote says about me. Please feel free to PM and explain, instead of just being flippant about it. Likewise, I feel your response says more about you than it does my anecdote, given that you ignored it's intent entirely and focused solely on attacking me.

[Dancealot]

I am with Robblock on this 1. Muay.

she was making an observation people make to each other.

You were being demeaning.

There is a massive difference.

This is a valuable point as well

[samran]

The reason for the harsh comment was to make her remember, she is often rude, and she is vein, and I knew it would stick in her mind for a few years.

She may change her ways, I feel I did a wonderful thing for her, she may thank me one day, unless she ambushes me with a knife first one night when I return to Thailand soon before she realises what a mean person she was.

Ah, okay. So one rule girl and 60 million others get tarred with the same brush.

people can call me fat all day long, remember its 9 kilos, not even noticable.

Clearly it is noticable.

Me thinks that tough guy OP is a tad thin skinned.

Edited March 26, 2013 by samran

[aTomsLife]

so they dont really understand when they call you fat or ugly, is that what your saying.

Thais don't typically call each other ugly (saying someone's haircut doesn't look good is not calling someone ugly). And calling someone fat may not be very nice but it doesn't have the same weight (see what I did there?) as it would to a Farang.

You were deliberately and consciously malicious - something Thais typically aren't (with exceptions I'm sure) when they make those sort of annoying comments. I'm surprised you can't see that you were a...well, less than likable in that instance.

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Have you ever taught in a Thai high school? In my experience, it wasn't uncommon to hear students tell each other they're ugly / not beautiful. Of course it's meant as an insult, despite the fact it's said with maniacal laughter.

[muythai2013]

@muythai2013,

Injuries suck I hope you recover soon so you can workout again and get in the shape you like.

You are probably not happy with yourself at this point so remarks like that hit home easier.

Good luck with it.

lower back, to be honest her comments aimed at some of my female friends were the things firing me up.

[IMA_FARANG]

My Thai Girlfriend has 3 grown children by her first marriage.

They are a mix of Thai/English/Burmese and Indian from their family's history in the last two centuries of marriages and ancestry.

So they have darker skin than a the majority of their Thai friends

Their friends and even their mother still call them "dark" and "black", because of their darker skin color.

They think nothing of it, it's just a name used by their friends.

And if a girl is a little chubby, she is often called "fat" by her friends.

Such things are not considered rude by Thais.... it's just something you say to your friends.

Only Europeans .... Farangs .... take offense at such things.

If you're fat they refer to you as fat, if you're dark they call you dark. If you're old they call you old.

It's just a way of identifying you as in the following:

That Farang over there.

What Farang?

The old fat Farang over there.

Oh, that one!

[SteeleJoe]

It's a bit like a farang calling a middle class educated Thai woman, tilac!

No. It's nothing like that.

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[eslinacup]

Sometimes it works. A few years ago after a heavy night on the turps a woman in the street declared to me "Nah Daang!" (Red face) I replied back "Nah Dahm!" (Black face) Her jaw dropped in surprise then she laughed.

[cdnvic]

"my reply was "I can lose weight, but you will always be ugly"

Old joke starts a troll topic.

/closed