Thai's Can Give It But Can't Take It

[muythai2013]

I think the OP has a body composition complex.

Go on a diet and turn what may or may not be an attack into a positive. Go with the flow.

Clearly your not happy about your weight or they would't be tweaking you so easy.

you did not read the thread did you, im a fighter, temporarily injured.

[Jingthing]

Another related annoying Thai cultural tendency.

So you're fat.

Why the need for so many people to TELL you you are fat?

You didn't know you were fat already?

Or f-rang, etc.

Like when you're perusing the menu in front of an Indian restaurant with huge Indian flags, a poster of a map of India, and a massive neon sign saying INDIAN FOOD, and a Thai runs out to tell you: Indian Food!

Wow. Who knew?

Edited March 26, 2013 by Jingthing

[chiang mai]

and they know what fat means, lets cut the BS if we are to chat.

But being fat is cherished in Asia, at least it's not the negative that it is in the West, it's a sign of affluence and wealth because the person is well nourished and has plenty to eat, really.

yes and i'm sure the fatter and fatter you get the more pleased the wives will be right.

are all the men on thai dramas fat, no their all good looking because thats what the ladies want.

The part about the roles in TV soaps is correct but it's a relatively new phenomenon, plus, you've not understood the context of what I wrote, I suspect after you've been here longer and seen more then it will fall into place.

[Almera]

so it seems being rude is acceptable in thailand according to people here, if rudeness is right then the more rude you are the more right it is.

next time I will not hold back.

Spot the newb, guys.

btw it is customary to say how ugly a new baby is, in order for the spirits not to take an interest in them lest they come and take him away.

Some people really have no idea how alien this place is compared to the West.

[aTomsLife]

I agree with your overall sentiment, but telling the woman she'd always be ugly was too heavy handed in my opinion (although quite hilarious!). Your delivery could have played a factor in the response. Did you say it jokingly?

I truly enjoy life amongst Thais, too; but for all the smiling and laughing, at heart they are an incredibly insecure people.

I once asked my friend's GF -- a recent college grad -- if Thailand had produced a writer culturally equivalent to what Shakespeare is in the English speaking world. I was told that of course Thailand had, but she just couldn't think of any writers at the moment. I then responded that her inability to name such a person proved there wasn't such a person, otherwise s/he would have so much influence and be so famous it would be easy to recall the name. Needless to say, this caused an unintended loss of face.

Sorry if I strayed off topic slightly, but I think there's some relevance. In short, Thais don't like being criticized by outsiders, particularly westerners.

That is something that every expat has to come to grips with.

Thai's are incredibly insecure and failure to accept and cater to that is asking for trouble.

Thai's see a lot of expats as coming from really successful cultures who invent all the stuff they use.

Don't rub salt into a open wound.

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you, but I want to point out that I asked my question with the best intentions. I live here, study Thai and am genuinely interested in their culture. Had she been able to answer me with even a single name, I would have sought those works out and attempted to learn about them.

It didn't have to be a pissing contest, but she made it one and I obliged.

[muythai2013]

its not just about the weight, only really found it around uneducated thai's though.

I have noticed when they do it to each other they usually do it to a more attractive girl, stinks of jelousy not culture.

[Neeranam]

chiang mai, on 26 Mar 2013 - 14:53, said:

muythai2013, on 26 Mar 2013 - 14:51, said:

chiang mai, on 26 Mar 2013 - 14:44, said:

When Churchill first delievered that line he picked his audience carefully plus he was drunk when he said it! I'm surpried that you delivering that same line to a Thai national didn't see you get a well deserved hiding.

well deserved you say, but they can say whatever they like, fat, ugly, dark, and thats not deserving of a comeback but mines deserving of a hiding.

English is your first language so you should know better, for Thai people English is more often not well understood hence allowances have to be made. It's a bit like a farang calling a middle class educated Thai woman, tilac!

No - this is a bad example.

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

That is something that every expat has to come to grips with.

Thai's are incredibly insecure and failure to accept and cater to that is asking for trouble.

Thai's see a lot of expats as coming from really successful cultures who invent all the stuff they use.

Don't rub salt into a open wound.

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you, but I want to point out that I asked my question with the best intentions. I live here, study Thai and am genuinely interested in their culture. Had she been able to answer me with even a single name, I would have sought those works out and attempted to learn about them.

It didn't have to be a pissing contest, but she made it one and I obliged.

I was talking more in generalities. No criticism about your situation.. I wasn't responding to that.

Edited March 26, 2013 by CobraSnakeNecktie

[muythai2013]

so can all the guys here (self proclaimed experts on everything thai).

tell this newbie how long i have spent in Thailand, you all seem to know.

[Almera]

its not just about the weight, only really found it around uneducated thai's though.

I have noticed when they do it to each other they usually do it to a more attractive girl, stinks of jelousy not culture.

Well they are generally a very jealous, resentful, petty people... so, you know.

[Star Dust]

ive since noticed no one is rude anymore, so it was a good idea.

I think that your rant is justified.

I know where are just guests in this country, but if they give me crap, I'll always return the favour. If they are rude to me, they get double in return. If they are polite to me, I'm polite to them. Thai or Farang.

And of course they ALWAYS get angry at me. So what? What you give is what you get I always reply.

PS.: I love it, when they lose face, and deserve it.

Serves them just right.

[Groongthep]

and they know what fat means, lets cut the BS if we are to chat.

But being fat is cherished in Asia, at least it's not the negative that it is in the West, it's a sign of affluence and wealth because the person is well nourished and has plenty to eat, really.

This is really an archaic assumption. It was true in the past and still may be in a few of the poorest regions, but today asians want to be fat no more than westerners do. Being fat no longer means you're well -to-do; it means you're overweight and is often a subject of ridicule just as it is in the more traditionally affluent societies..

[CobraSnakeNecktie]

I think the OP has a body composition complex.

Go on a diet and turn what may or may not be an attack into a positive. Go with the flow.

Clearly your not happy about your weight or they would't be tweaking you so easy.

you did not read the thread did you, im a fighter, temporarily injured.

yeah I read the thread..

inaccuracies rarely provoke or insult someone.

The truth hurts.

If they said your too brown or have enormous feet you would not have been phased.

You sound tweaked like your female. Are you?

[chiang mai]

and they know what fat means, lets cut the BS if we are to chat.

But being fat is cherished in Asia, at least it's not the negative that it is in the West, it's a sign of affluence and wealth because the person is well nourished and has plenty to eat, really.

This is really an archaic assumption. It was true in the past and still may be in a few of the poorest regions, but today asians want to be fat no more than westerners do. Being fat no longer means you're well -to-do; it means you're overweight and is often a subject of ridicule just as it is in the more traditionally affluent societies..

It's still very applicable in China today but I agree that times are changing in respect of the health aspects, I was however trying to make a wider culture point when I stated that.

[Star Dust]

ive since noticed no one is rude anymore, so it was a good idea.

Seriously, you haven't been here long so be careful how you respond to someone male or female.

A wounded Thai is a very dangerous person and you won't see the response coming!

<deleted>, Man up"Muythai", and stand your ground, or at one point they'll mob the floor with you.

[Almera]

so can all the guys here (self proclaimed experts on everything thai).

tell this newbie how long i have spent in Thailand, you all seem to know.

Oh no, that's not how it works, you have to tell us 'I've been here 3 whole weeks dammit!' then we all laugh.

Give it a go.

[chiang mai]

so can all the guys here (self proclaimed experts on everything thai).

tell this newbie how long i have spent in Thailand, you all seem to know.

Oh dear me!

[Almera]

A wounded Thai is a very dangerous person and you won't see the response coming!

Listen to this guy. He ain't a newbie.

[uptheos]

ive since noticed no one is rude anymore, so it was a good idea.

Seriously, you haven't been here long so be careful how you respond to someone male or female.

A wounded Thai is a very dangerous person and you won't see the response coming!

<deleted>, Man up"Muythai", and stand your ground, or at one point they'll mob the floor with you.

Yeah and Star Dust will be right behind you! (laughing no doubt)

Edited March 26, 2013 by uptheos

[Neeranam]

""" Sorry if I strayed off topic slightly, but I think there's some relevance. In short, Thais don't like being criticized by outsiders, particularly westerners. ""

Nobody likes this, not only Thais.

Thais hate confrontation. Do you know what "greng jai" means? OP, it's not what you said that probably upset the girl, but the way you said it.

I'd say - excuse me but where I come from it's considered rude to say I've put on weight.

Someone shouted, "you you" at me recently and although I wanted to punch him on the nose and say," **** off", I calmly informed him that it was rude.

Accept the way Thais are - you won't be able to change them but will make your life here miserable if you don't.

[uptheos]

Accept the way Thais are - you won't be able to change them but will make your life here miserable if you don't.

Good advice

[Jingthing]

What's a good reply to Thais telling you that you are fat, when you are fat?

For the Indian restaurant thing, perhaps, oh no, I thought this was a Bulgarian restaurant!

Can't do that, Thais don't get sarcasm, innit?

Edited March 26, 2013 by Jingthing

[aTomsLife]

It would be nice to discuss the topic and hear stories from all of you.... nah, nevermind, let's just all attack the OP

[FunFon]

I think the fundamental issue is that ethnocentric people think that "being rude" is some objective standard, but it's not.

When I first moved to Australia and started going down to the pub, I couldn't believe how obnoxious the true Okkers got when they're pissed.

As far as they were concerned, they were just having good fun, but it took me a long time to toughen up, for the first few months I often cried myself to sleep at night from being picked on.

It's just that culture valued "macho" toughness more than where I came from.

So toughen up, realize that's the way things are, being "teased" for being fat is not a big deal once you get used to it, no reason to assume they mean to be hurtful honestly most of the time they're not at all, and in any case nothing to be gained by "dishing it back" as they're most likely to sense your intention and take it as being much more serious than you intended, just escalating the conflict.

Jai yen yen. . .

[uptheos]

What's a good reply to Thais telling you that you are fat, when you are fat?

For the Indian restaurant thing, perhaps, oh no, I thought this was a Bulgarian restaurant!

Sarcasm and irony doesn't work, you know that. If you said you thought it was a Bulgarian restaurant the person would go to great lengths to assure you it is not and direct you to one

[aTomsLife]

""" Sorry if I strayed off topic slightly, but I think there's some relevance. In short, Thais don't like being criticized by outsiders, particularly westerners. ""

Nobody likes this, not only Thais.

Thais hate confrontation. Do you know what "greng jai" means? OP, it's not what you said that probably upset the girl, but the way you said it.

I'd say - excuse me but where I come from it's considered rude to say I've put on weight.

Someone shouted, "you you" at me recently and although I wanted to punch him on the nose and say," **** off", I calmly informed him that it was rude.

Accept the way Thais are - you won't be able to change them but will make your life here miserable if you don't.

Of course no one likes it. The point is, don't give it if you can't take it in turn.

And yes, I know what "greng jai' means -- fear of offending someone, causing them a loss of face. Isn't that the point of this topic? Thais not abiding by their own culture, freely leveling insults at people. But when one of us responds in kind, it's played up to be an international incident. I'm not trying to change Thais. At times I just want THEM TO KNOW that I KNOW they're FullOfShite.

Edited March 26, 2013 by aTomsLife

[muythai2013]

""" Sorry if I strayed off topic slightly, but I think there's some relevance. In short, Thais don't like being criticized by outsiders, particularly westerners. ""

Nobody likes this, not only Thais.

Thais hate confrontation. Do you know what "greng jai" means? OP, it's not what you said that probably upset the girl, but the way you said it.

I'd say - excuse me but where I come from it's considered rude to say I've put on weight.

Someone shouted, "you you" at me recently and although I wanted to punch him on the nose and say," **** off", I calmly informed him that it was rude.

Accept the way Thais are - you won't be able to change them but will make your life here miserable if you don't.

some thai can say it, you are quite right, its how its said.

and I have been around the block long enough to know when someone is being rude, some can say it and its in jest, others are not.

if they are intentionally rude then they will hear it.

[mauGR1]

Well, " fat " it's not an insulting word, and by admission of the OP , it's true.. So, depends a lot on the tone which was used in the occasion.

If it was said in a gentle tone, with a smile, the OP was overreacting.

Perhaps the lady was just trying to start a conversation by stating the obvious.

[Berkshire]

ive since noticed no one is rude anymore, so it was a good idea.

I think that your rant is justified.

I know where are just guests in this country, but if they give me crap, I'll always return the favour. If they are rude to me, they get double in return. If they are polite to me, I'm polite to them. Thai or Farang.

And of course they ALWAYS get angry at me. So what? What you give is what you get I always reply.

PS.: I love it, when they lose face, and deserve it.

Serves them just right.

Boy, you guys are a piece of work. Thais rip on each other all the time. Have you ever listened to Thais joking amongst themselves? They're pretty harsh, even the girls. But it's among friends, so everyone understands.

So Muy dude, if they're not ripping on you anymore, it's probably because they see you as thinned-skin and overly sensitive, unable to take part in group socializing. But no, they haven't "learned their lesson." They probably just see you as a dipsh*t. Among my friends, if someone can't take a joke, then I REALLY rip into them.

[Almera]

What's a good reply to Thais telling you that you are fat, when you are fat?

For the Indian restaurant thing, perhaps, oh no, I thought this was a Bulgarian restaurant!

Can't do that, Thais don't get sarcasm, innit?

Friend stopped at an old gas station, one pump next to his bike, opened the tank.

Owner: 'What do you want?'

I want to buy a fridge.

A fridge?

Yes, a fridge.

No, no, we sell gas. You can buy a fridge in the town down this road.

Oh okay, thank you very much.

Cap back on the tank and off to the next station.

Edited March 26, 2013 by Almera