What To Do Against Noisy Neighbours?

[asiasurfer]

I find the sniping strange.

I agree that one should not live anticipating conflict, including either a habitual stance of fear or aggression.

But those that have seen a lot of water under the bridge come and go over the years here know that our situational awareness is greatly impaired by the fact that we are outsiders and can't rely on law & order to protect us.

If you happen to take the wrong aggressive stance - even if it just a defensive one and "right" is on your side - against the wrong sort of person here, then bad things can happen to you and no one will ever know the truth.

Obviously living in shady locations or being mixed up in shady business will increase the odds of this, but it can also happen at random anywhere.

So not out of fear but plain practical common sense, I find it better to tread lightly and simply move on to greener pastures if I run up against situations I don't like rather than trying to exert my will against people that basically I don't even want or need to deal with in my life at all.

Which ability is the key reason to not put down roots anywhere, least of all near your SO's family. Unless you plan to become a satellite adjunct to their power structures and are willing to give up a lot of control over your life than what's I like for myself.

Been here a while too and the law never treated me unfair here. Maybe I live in an other Thailand as you.

Do agree about not living near SO family.

I am not an outsider here and get along with the people and some side with me in the past so what you say is not always true.

I do agree we are more likely to get into trouble but not that much more either.

Of course being able to speak Thai will help to resolve conflicts. I think the language is a problem for many farang. That is what is causing many conflicts and misunderstandings, I guess...

[bunnaag]

Never buy, only rent, problems like this aren't worth getting blood pressure up, easiest to solve by simply moving on to greener pastures.

if you are married andhaving build a house on the land of your wife since many years long before the source of the noise started moving on is not an option.As I said problem was solved by the police and tesaban

This has all been aired previously several times on various threads. Not buying a house INCLUDES not building one for the little darling. Of course, if she wants to pay for it, not a problem, LOL.

Thailand is famous for noisy people moving in next door.

I'm married to a Thai lady, and nothing on this earth would induce me to pay MY money to build her a house that I have ZERO rights to.

I did not build the house for HER I build it on HER land(price of land much more valuable than the cost of the house) BUT FOR MYSELF ALSO because I do not want to live in a rented house for many reasons.I am married 20years and can say now I did the right thing.With your attitude you will never understand this.BTW I saved a löt of money not paying rent for 20 years.

Edited April 10, 2013 by bunnaag

[FunFon]

I did not build the house for HER I build it on HER land(price of land much more valuable than the cost of the house) BUT FOR MYSELF ALSO because I do not want to live in a rented house for many reasons.I am married 20years and can say now I did the right thing.With your attitude you will never understand this.BTW I saved a löt of money not paying rent for 20 years.

-

Well I'm very happy it's worked out for you. I could only do the same if it were such a small investment I'd be happy to walk away and leave it to her no hard feelings.

[robblok]

I did not build the house for HER I build it on HER land(price of land much more valuable than the cost of the house) BUT FOR MYSELF ALSO because I do not want to live in a rented house for many reasons.I am married 20years and can say now I did the right thing.With your attitude you will never understand this.BTW I saved a löt of money not paying rent for 20 years.

-

Well I'm very happy it's worked out for you. I could only do the same if it were such a small investment I'd be happy to walk away and leave it to her no hard feelings.

Yes but from your postings I have seen what kind you are woman wise. In your case it would be real unwise.

[fish fingers]

what about the other neighbors what have they said

[asiasurfer]

what about the other neighbors what have they said

My wife spoke to the other neighbours. They are annoyed as well, but nobody dares to open their mouth. Typical problem around here...

[robblok]

what about the other neighbors what have they said

My wife spoke to the other neighbours. They are annoyed as well, but nobody dares to open their mouth. Typical problem around here...

I agree that is typical here I live quite nicely .. its a good spot.

[scorecard]

I find the sniping strange.

I agree that one should not live anticipating conflict, including either a habitual stance of fear or aggression.

But those that have seen a lot of water under the bridge come and go over the years here know that our situational awareness is greatly impaired by the fact that we are outsiders and can't rely on law & order to protect us.

If you happen to take the wrong aggressive stance - even if it just a defensive one and "right" is on your side - against the wrong sort of person here, then bad things can happen to you and no one will ever know the truth.

Obviously living in shady locations or being mixed up in shady business will increase the odds of this, but it can also happen at random anywhere.

So not out of fear but plain practical common sense, I find it better to tread lightly and simply move on to greener pastures if I run up against situations I don't like rather than trying to exert my will against people that basically I don't even want or need to deal with in my life at all.

Which ability is the key reason to not put down roots anywhere, least of all near your SO's family. Unless you plan to become a satellite adjunct to their power structures and are willing to give up a lot of control over your life than what's I like for myself.

Been here a while too and the law never treated me unfair here. Maybe I live in an other Thailand as you.

Do agree about not living near SO family.

I am not an outsider here and get along with the people and some side with me in the past so what you say is not always true.

I do agree we are more likely to get into trouble but not that much more either.

We all have different experiences regardless of what country is 'home'.

My comment is on the power of some families. This is about a friend of a good friend (a retired professional guy from Sweden, speaks reads and writes advanced Thai, been married to his Thai wife over 20 years, she retired recently from a senior government position).

His wife is a sweetheart, speaks advanced English, well balanced / very pleasant, engages readily in detailed discussion of world events, takes care of her husband like he is a jewel, etc etc.

Her family have gradually tried to control this couple, and their demands get more and more.

Twelve months ago, the mother in law (MIL) decided she wanted a new car for herself and a pick up for her youngest son. Without any discussion she selected the vehicles, completed and signed the purchase documents then sent an e.mail to the Swedish man with the total amount for him to transfer to a specific bank account for the dealer, total around 1.4Million Baht. He refused to pay it, all hell broke loose. He continues to just refuse to pay.

Smaller examples, MIL has on several occasions gone to a local furniture emporium (in Khon Kaen, similar to Index) and bought numerous pieces of furniture with instructions for delivery to the Swedish mans house. MIL ensures she's on site at delivery time and goes right ahead with throwing out the current furniture and installing the new furniture. On the first occasion the wife stopped the delivery and told the furniture van people to take the furniture back to the shop.

MIL persisted, three weeks later (at MILs instructions) she attempted to deliver again, but discovered all the locks had been changed.

She's previously done the same with ordering a new very large double door fridge and had it delivered to the daughters house when nobody at home. And same with a new 50inch TV. Bills always of course presented to the Swede.

Numerous times she's arrived, without notice, with numerous extended family members in tow, often 8 or so, and announced they are staying for a month, then proceeds to take over the kitchen. On one ocasion she told the Swedish man he had to have his breakfast finished before 7.00am because she needed the kitchen. And more.

The Swedish man and his wife now just stand their ground and have again changed all locks mostly to key pads so there are no keys, just numbers, added more security grills, etc., and also changed their bank accounts, etc., and ensure they have very little contact with the mother.

But let's be honest you can find things like this in any country.

Edited April 12, 2013 by scorecard

[thaibeachlovers]

I find the sniping strange.

I agree that one should not live anticipating conflict, including either a habitual stance of fear or aggression.

But those that have seen a lot of water under the bridge come and go over the years here know that our situational awareness is greatly impaired by the fact that we are outsiders and can't rely on law & order to protect us.

If you happen to take the wrong aggressive stance - even if it just a defensive one and "right" is on your side - against the wrong sort of person here, then bad things can happen to you and no one will ever know the truth.

Obviously living in shady locations or being mixed up in shady business will increase the odds of this, but it can also happen at random anywhere.

So not out of fear but plain practical common sense, I find it better to tread lightly and simply move on to greener pastures if I run up against situations I don't like rather than trying to exert my will against people that basically I don't even want or need to deal with in my life at all.

Which ability is the key reason to not put down roots anywhere, least of all near your SO's family. Unless you plan to become a satellite adjunct to their power structures and are willing to give up a lot of control over your life than what's I like for myself.

You speak sense.

My neighbour runs a martial arts school. Luckily he doesn't usually make a disturbance, so I have no problems with him, but if I did, there is no way I would EVER make a conflict with him, for obvious reasons.

[thaibeachlovers]

Never buy, only rent, problems like this aren't worth getting blood pressure up, easiest to solve by simply moving on to greener pastures.

if you are married andhaving build a house on the land of your wife since many years long before the source of the noise started moving on is not an option.As I said problem was solved by the police and tesaban

This has all been aired previously several times on various threads. Not buying a house INCLUDES not building one for the little darling. Of course, if she wants to pay for it, not a problem, LOL.

Thailand is famous for noisy people moving in next door.

I'm married to a Thai lady, and nothing on this earth would induce me to pay MY money to build her a house that I have ZERO rights to.

I did not build the house for HER I build it on HER land(price of land much more valuable than the cost of the house) BUT FOR MYSELF ALSO because I do not want to live in a rented house for many reasons.I am married 20years and can say now I did the right thing.With your attitude you will never understand this.BTW I saved a löt of money not paying rent for 20 years.

You were lucky!

What would you have done if 20 years ago a karaoke bar had moved in next door ( or any other noisy establishment )?

BTW, you do not own the house and you have NO rights to it, other than what she CHOOSES to give you.

You are correct, however, in that I will never understand why farangs are so keen to spend THEIR money on something that can be taken away at a whim, or by accidental/ early death of the partner. I doubt any would do it in their own country, so why is it different in LOS?

[thaibeachlovers]

I find the sniping strange.

I agree that one should not live anticipating conflict, including either a habitual stance of fear or aggression.

But those that have seen a lot of water under the bridge come and go over the years here know that our situational awareness is greatly impaired by the fact that we are outsiders and can't rely on law & order to protect us.

If you happen to take the wrong aggressive stance - even if it just a defensive one and "right" is on your side - against the wrong sort of person here, then bad things can happen to you and no one will ever know the truth.

Obviously living in shady locations or being mixed up in shady business will increase the odds of this, but it can also happen at random anywhere.

So not out of fear but plain practical common sense, I find it better to tread lightly and simply move on to greener pastures if I run up against situations I don't like rather than trying to exert my will against people that basically I don't even want or need to deal with in my life at all.

Which ability is the key reason to not put down roots anywhere, least of all near your SO's family. Unless you plan to become a satellite adjunct to their power structures and are willing to give up a lot of control over your life than what's I like for myself.

Been here a while too and the law never treated me unfair here. Maybe I live in an other Thailand as you.

Do agree about not living near SO family.

I am not an outsider here and get along with the people and some side with me in the past so what you say is not always true.

I do agree we are more likely to get into trouble but not that much more either.

We all have different experiences regardless of what country is 'home'.

My comment is on the power of some families. This is about a friend of a good friend (a retired professional guy from Sweden, speaks reads and writes advanced Thai, been married to his Thai wife over 20 years, she retired recently from a senior government position).

His wife is a sweetheart, speaks advanced English, well balanced / very pleasant, engages readily in detailed discussion of world events, takes care of her husband like he is a jewel, etc etc.

Her family have gradually tried to control this couple, and their demands get more and more.

Twelve months ago, the mother in law (MIL) decided she wanted a new car for herself and a pick up for her youngest son. Without any discussion she selected the vehicles, completed and signed the purchase documents then sent an e.mail to the Swedish man with the total amount for him to transfer to a specific bank account for the dealer, total around 1.4Million Baht. He refused to pay it, all hell broke loose. He continues to just refuse to pay.

Smaller examples, MIL has on several occasions gone to a local furniture emporium (in Khon Kaen, similar to Index) and bought numerous pieces of furniture with instructions for delivery to the Swedish mans house. MIL ensures she's on site at delivery time and goes right ahead with throwing out the current furniture and installing the new furniture. On the first occasion the wife stopped the delivery and told the furniture van people to take the furniture back to the shop.

MIL persisted, three weeks later (at MILs instructions) she attempted to deliver again, but discovered all the locks had been changed.

She's previously done the same with ordering a new very large double door fridge and had it delivered to the daughters house when nobody at home. And same with a new 50inch TV. Bills always of course presented to the Swede.

Numerous times she's arrived, without notice, with numerous extended family members in tow, often 8 or so, and announced they are staying for a month, then proceeds to take over the kitchen. On one ocasion she told the Swedish man he had to have his breakfast finished before 7.00am because she needed the kitchen. And more.

The Swedish man and his wife now just stand their ground and have again changed all locks mostly to key pads so there are no keys, just numbers, added more security grills, etc., and also changed their bank accounts, etc., and ensure they have very little contact with the mother.

But let's be honest you can find things like this in any country.

But, you will still find posters on TV that reckon it's all good with Thai families, just because THEY never had a problem.

Recently, my wife, no doubt under "orders" from the SIL has started dropping hints about me giving money to the family, so it has been necessary for me to increase the number of complaints I have about them, in an effort to circumvent the SIL's long term plan to take me for whatever they can.

In the future, I also intend to remove myself elsewhere whenever they visit, as the less contact I have with them, the better.