How Long Did It Take You Be Accept He Thai Customs.

[kevvy]

When I first arrived from Australia, I struggled to accept all the Thai customs as I was in Australia for over 50 years. The way people tried and succeeded to rip me off because you are a westerner. From the tourist guides to big companies like Toyota. How the Thai people talk over you when you are talking to some else or will be just plain rude.How they say I will ring you back and never hear from them etc etc. It was that bad I decided to go back to Australia with my wife. Then I started to think about all the great things about this country and it hit me how great this is this country after all. Now I cannot wait to see all the country has to offer. So how do you feel about how long it took you to accept the custom or you still haven't

Edited April 6, 2013 by metisdead
Large font resized to normal.

[bellboy]

Unortnataly a lot bm's can only see the negative side. of. Living In the LOS.

Edited April 5, 2013 by bellboy

[NeverSure]

I never expect to be respected by Thais, with the exception of a few I can be truly friends with. Even then they will always see me as farang.

How was it in your own country? Sure, people in businesses were helpful and nice, but that's the culture. But did they really care about you as a person, or were they just doing their job? Yes, some businesses where you're a regular will begin to know and like you, but walking into a new place to you, the courtesy was just professional courtesy, wasn't it?

I hate the way Thais drive, do business, and a bunch of other things. But I don't go to Thailand for the Thais except the occasional cute bird. Hey, they know that and maybe that's why they rightfully don't respect me. Why would I care?

In my home country I've lived in the same town or just outside of it forever. I mean forever. So I know all of my neighbors and consider them friends. I know many business owners and employees and there is a personal relationship. Maybe one could get that in Thailand given enough time in one spot, but I don't know.

I don't care. I don't go to Thailand to be "one" of them. I could go on a rant and tell you my real opinions of them, but that gets posted enough by others. here.

Have a great day.

[jbrain]

It was that bad I decided to go back to Australia with my wife. Then I started to think about all the great things about this country and it hit me how great this is this country after all.Now I cannot wait to see all the country has to offer.

Maybe first tell us what those great things are you can't wait for.

It can't be the sun as they have that plenty in Australia also I guess.Is it the cheap accomodation, the cheap food or the is it something else you discovered recently.

I can tell you with the hand on my heart, all the things you mentioned in the first lines of your post haven't changed since you left, I may even think they have worsened.

[krisb]

Perhaps it's a language barrier issue. Would the Thais look at you differently if you spoke the language well?... more than likely.

[impulse]

I don't know anywhere outside of a frat house where people earn respect by drinking the most booze, scoring the most skanks, and showing the most disrespect for all people outside their own little circle of boozers.

Yet it seems to be a common expectation among "worldly" expats taking up space on the sidewalk barstools I walk by just about every day.

The Thai folks I work with easily differentiate their respect for the folks that earn their respect, and withhold respect for those who don't. Outside of that, I can only say I have been (in general) treated with kindness and in a respectful manner by the vast majority if Thais I deal with on the street.

It's none of my business whether they truly respect me, just how they treat me.

[robblok]

Perhaps it's a language barrier issue. Would the Thais look at you differently if you spoke the language well?... more than likely.

While i am far from good with the language speaking it opens doors and lowers frustration (not having to rely on the wife / gf for everything). The ripping off happens to Thais too not just farangs.

[kevvy]

It was that bad I decided to go back to Australia with my wife. Then I started to think about all the great things about this country and it hit me how great this is this country after all.Now I cannot wait to see all the country has to offer.

Maybe first tell us what those great things are you can't wait for.

It can't be the sun as they have that plenty in Australia also I guess.Is it the cheap accomodation, the cheap food or the is it something else you discovered recently.

I can tell you with the hand on my heart, all the things you mentioned in the first lines of your post haven't changed since you left, I may even think they have worsened.

hi, it is not the cheap rent as have my own house and or the cheap food as still buy the "farang food" , it is just the way of life i am loving now , i know i have felt different in the past , but now i am looking forward to the future as I know where i am heading .

[kevvy]

I don't know anywhere outside of a frat house where people earn respect by drinking the most booze, scoring the most skanks, and showing the most disrespect for all people outside their own little circle of boozers.

Yet it seems to be a common expectation among "worldly" expats taking up space on the sidewalk barstools I walk by just about every day.

The Thai folks I work with easily differentiate their respect for the folks that earn their respect, and withhold respect for those who don't. Outside of that, I can only say I have been (in general) treated with kindness and in a respectful manner by the vast majority if Thais I deal with on the street.

It's none of my business whether they truly respect me, just how they treat me.

I think you summed it up great , I employ Thai worker's and they respect me as a person. yeah sure I pay their wages but I can see the respect they give me and their families do the same . it is a respect you get given by Thai's that money cannot buy IMO

[weegee]

Respect is earnt, from both sides...You are enjoying being here so you have achieved the most important part. Go for it...

The culture thing, takes a long time to ajust to and frustration sometimes holds that back...It's hard to hold back your home culture after you have lived it for more than 50yrs...Thats (IMO) is where the biggest hurdle lies..

Glad you're coping well, doing your own thing....

So...does this mean you're happy to buy the next round

[chrisinth]

I don't know anywhere outside of a frat house where people earn respect by drinking the most booze, scoring the most skanks, and showing the most disrespect for all people outside their own little circle of boozers.

Yet it seems to be a common expectation among "worldly" expats taking up space on the sidewalk barstools I walk by just about every day.

The Thai folks I work with easily differentiate their respect for the folks that earn their respect, and withhold respect for those who don't. Outside of that, I can only say I have been (in general) treated with kindness and in a respectful manner by the vast majority if Thais I deal with on the street.

It's none of my business whether they truly respect me, just how they treat me.

I think you summed it up great , I employ Thai worker's and they respect me as a person. yeah sure I pay their wages but I can see the respect they give me and their families do the same . it is a respect you get given by Thai's that money cannot buy IMO

+ 1. I also think impulse has summed that up right. Aside from the culture shock, respect is something that is earned and not just given randomly.

And for those that don't agree with that, ask yourselves, what qualifies yourself to be respected by the Thais? Because you are white, speak English or come from a 'Western' 1st world country? Sorry, but this is their patch................. (think of the respect you would have for an alien in your own country)

There are some people (a lot in fact) that will never be expats, and these are generally the ones who cannot adapt to the differences of other people's countries cultures & traditions. This is a statement that is applicable to every country in the known world.

Glad to hear you have had second thoughts about it kevvy, live and enjoy.....................

Edited April 6, 2013 by chrisinth

[Travel2003]

Even if I live here for 100 more years, I will never be comfortable with all the local customes.

Nor will all the locals accept me as anything esle than a temporary visitor.

Is there any country in the world where actually all the locals welcome immigrants from other cultures with open arms?

Or where all the immigrants embrace all the customes in their new homeland?

Doubt it.

[krisb]

Travel2003, you say is there a country where the locals accept foreigners?....

I'd say yes. Australia. We must be the most multicultural country in the world.

[somtampet]

Are u sure you arent talking about brits lol,only joking i am a brit.

[somtampet]

Overall in my 9 years living here, the most important thing to do is be a decent human,be nice,smile and know at least a little bit of thai.70% Of people who live near me are thai families, the rest thai/farang/westerners,and i always get spoken to in english and thai,they are very respectful,and songkran is lovely where i live,not the mad fat beer guzzling farangs who want to spoil it every year

[Gsxrnz]

My advice is that Thailand is Thailand. Don't compare it to your home country or any other country for that matter. It's a unique place and that's what's so great about it. Accept the customs, don't compare them to your home. I disagree with many of their customs, but criticizing is fruitless and frustrating - if anybody detests things that much then vote with your feet and go home. Accept the driving standards - they are what they are so either adapt and survive or don't drive at all.'

As to the culture itself, read as much as you can from informed sources (and regrettably most TV members could not be considered an informed source), try and understand the unique Thai way of thinking and behaving, and adapt your behaviour and expectations to Thailand. Treat everybody with respect and it will be returned in kind. Sure, you'll have some disappointments but 99% of the time it is the best policy. The more you understand the culture, the less likely you are to get ripped off or have a bad experience. At worst, your understanding will allow you to make the most of a bad experience.

Learn the language to whatever level you are able. I've learnt about 500 words over the last 3 years and I'm a lazy sod - anybody who has a real desire could do much better than me. Don't just learn the word, learn to speak it reasonably fluently. Nothing worse than hearing a Farang speak badly pronounced Thai.

Here's an experience I had that sums up how to behave and how language can help. I was in a 7/11 behind a Russian who wanted the girl to put credit on his phone. He got the request across in very bad (and LOUD) English. The girl said in English "very busy, please wait" and handed the phone and the credit slip back to him - there were about 10 people lined up to be served. He went off his face in Russian and was obviously being abusive, so she took the phone back and added the credit for him and handed back the phone.

He then ranted on in bad English and wanted proof the credit had been added. She said "please wait" in English, but the Russian started ranting again. I could see her lose her cool and she had a look on her face that basically said eff you! She said in Thai that she had a headache from customers like him and that he can wait and it serves him right! She then looked at me and said gruffly in English "What you want?" I replied in Thai that I wanted two packets of LM red box cigarettes, and that I was going to ask for 200 baht credit for my phone also, but now I was too scared. She asked me if I understood what she said to the Russian and I said yes, and that people like that give me a headache also.

She gets the cigarettes, looks at me and bursts out laughing, along with the 4 or 5 Thais that heard me. She asked for my phone, put on the credit and while she was doing that we had a conversation in Thai. Where was I from, am I married, where did I learn Thai, do I like Thailand (and if you're asked this, always reply that you love Thailand and Thai people are wonderful), and then a girl in the queue asked if I had a baby (yes), boy or girl (girl), how old (3yo) and what was her name. I pay for the cigs and the phone credit, and the Russian is fuming! I get a big smile, a big Wai and a sawatdee ka, jer-gan-mai-ka from the shop girl and half of the customers and walk out. Looked over my shoulder and she ignores the Russian again and serves the next person.

He was Russian, but that is somewhat irrelevant. He was rude, loud, disrespectful, and caused her to lose face somewhat. She had to gain face by ignoring him. I was polite, knew enough basic Thai to have a laugh and ask for cigs and credit, and answer a few basic questions, and to some extent also allowed her to gain face in front of her co-worker and customers. I could have asked for what I wanted in English, but would not have had the conversation that eventuated, and that conversation gave me a bit of a buzz, and made the day worth remembering.

Had many similar situations also - saved 3,000 baht on a truck tyre once because I heard the staff discussing how much they were going to overcharge the Farang (3,000 baht more than the list price), and had a good laugh with the staff in doing so - it was a game to them, I caught them because I knew a few words of Thai, told them jokingly and respectfully to take the tyre off and I'll go somewhere else, we all laughed, I tipped them 500 baht, paid the regular price for the tyre, and they said come back next time and I'll get 10% discount on my next tyre. They told me their last customer was a wealthy Thai chap with a Mercedes and they scored an extra 2,000 baht off him.

So in summary, learn the culture and accept it, learn some Thai, show respect, always smile no matter how disconcerted you feel. Oh......and Carpe Diem (Seize the day). And really, that's what anybody living in any foreign country needs to do.

[Travel2003]

Travel2003, you say is there a country where the locals accept foreigners?....

I'd say yes. Australia. We must be the most multicultural country in the world.

Dont want to start anything, but your country was after the Howard administration looked upon by many, as more and more right wing, anti immigration country.

fact however is that lots and lots of my Aussie friends always complain about being the only western country in Asia, tus they suffer from mass immigration from those countries.

I bet Canada is the most multi cultural.

Anyhow, thats for another thread somewhere else.

Edited April 6, 2013 by Travel2003

[krisb]

Your getting some great tips Kevvy.

[krisb]

Travel2003, with respect to the op, without hijacking this thread, also because of the topic not specifically Thai related, I'd have a fair crack at saying Australia is the most multicultural country in the world.

Quick edit, that's percentage per population. Not how many total.

Edited April 6, 2013 by krisb

[Naam]

Perhaps it's a language barrier issue. Would the Thais look at you differently if you spoke the language well?... more than likely.

and if a Farang speaks the language he gets a discount of 50% on goods and services... i heard

[krisb]

Service with that Thai smile Naam!

[Travel2003]

Travel2003, with respect to the op, without hijacking this thread, also because of the topic not specifically Thai related, I'd have a fair crack at saying Australia is the most multicultural country in the world.

Quick edit, that's percentage per population. Not how many total.

Ok

Agree, back to subject.

I think it will be very hard to be able to 100% accept all the various customs in a persons new country.

There are so many things we never even knew existed when we meet another culture.

[kennedy]

I'm the only farang where I live. I have no problems with country thais, they don't have that farang sleaze on them like the city ones do.

The only time I see a farang is on my once a year visit to the (american) embassy, and frankly don't miss them one bit.

[Travel2003]

I'm the only farang where I live. I have no problems with country thais, they don't have that farang sleaze on them like the city ones do.

The only time I see a farang is on my once a year visit to the (american) embassy, and frankly don't miss them one bit.

Yes of course, the Farang brought that industry to Asia.

[kennedy]

I'm the only farang where I live. I have no problems with country thais, they don't have that farang sleaze on them like the city ones do.

The only time I see a farang is on my once a year visit to the (american) embassy, and frankly don't miss them one bit.

Yes of course, the Farang brought that industry to Asia.

What industry?

[Thongkorn]

If you are not Thai you will never be a Thai and never be excepted, you may be tolerated. but don't kid yourself. its up to you how far you except Thai culture.

[kevvy]

Even if I live here for 100 more years, I will never be comfortable with all the local customes.

Nor will all the locals accept me as anything esle than a temporary visitor.

Is there any country in the world where actually all the locals welcome immigrants from other cultures with open arms?

Or where all the immigrants embrace all the customes in their new homeland?

Doubt it.

no there are probably not many countries that welcome immigrants with open arms , but the immigrants do earn respect in alot of cases.

[kevvy]

Respect is earnt, from both sides...You are enjoying being here so you have achieved the most important part. Go for it...

The culture thing, takes a long time to ajust to and frustration sometimes holds that back...It's hard to hold back your home culture after you have lived it for more than 50yrs...Thats (IMO) is where the biggest hurdle lies..

Glad you're coping well, doing your own thing....

So...does this mean you're happy to buy the next round

just as long as you can keep up with me, W

[Ulu Watu]

Perhaps it's a language barrier issue. Would the Thais look at you differently if you spoke the language well?... more than likely.

They would look at you very differently...knowing they don't even have to 'Put Falang' to ask you for a loan that'll never be repaid!

[Ulu Watu]

If you are not Thai you will never be a Thai and never be excepted, you may be tolerated. but don't kid yourself. its up to you how far you except Thai culture.

You can only be considered to be truly accepted by the Thais if you post on Thai Visa telling people,'If you don't like it go home'!