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Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya


detinu68

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Since there is no issue and he is happy, why hide the truth from the family and friends???

If he is happy with living with a working prostitute, why not share the happiness with people back home?

Seems so many come to Thailand and all over sudden see things differently to the rest of the world , though I would like to know in what country or century prostitution was and is a respectable job

If the OP is happy living with a working prostitute, why not share the happiness with the people here? I expect that many people reading this thread would be up for a roll with the OP's g/f if only for the novelty aspect -- I bet she'd be booked solid for a week, and imagine all of the fun nights on the town the OP and his g/f could have with the extra money she brings home. That should please the OP to no end. It probably would cross the line of "pimping", so never mind......

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xylophone raised a point in post #178 about my GF finding a "normal" job.

It's a fair point, but would you take a 66-70% pay cut because your partner doesn't like the job you're doing?

I should mention that she has a mortgage on a condo just north of Bangkok and two children (15 & 16) to support.

I think it's best for me to stay out of it and let her manage her own working life.

In any case, I can't know how long the relationship will last. I may meet someone else or she may meet someone else. Xxxx happens.

Edited by metisdead
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This has certainly produced a lot of posts, different viewpoints and some pretty straight talking from many parties, with some showing much frustration at the attitude of the OP.

So here is something to consider. The whole thing is a "windup" from start to finish because either: –

1). The OP is a troll, OR

2). He is one of those people who really doesn't care what you think.

You will have come across his type a few times, very little in the way of drive or a sense of achievement, satisfied with 35,000 baht per month doing a job which is not taxing in any way, shape or form and content to live partly off his girlfriend who earns her living as a hooker, and who is sharing her body and sexual favours with hundreds if not thousands of others.

He has said that she helps out when he is "skint" so I doubt whether he has money stashed away in a bank account somewhere otherwise he would not allow himself to be "skint".

So there you have it, a man of low moral standards, with a lack of ambition, prepared to cruise through part of his life living off the proceeds of a hooker and of course getting a "quick bang" (his words) along the way – – fits nicely into the category of "part of life's flotsam and jetsam".

That’s the type of person he is, just accept it, and as he has no problems with his situation, it really isn't worth spending time debating it.

Very nicely put. In maritime law, there are four kinds of wreckage -- "flotsam, jetsam, lagan and derelict". "Flotsam" is floating wreckage of a ship or its cargo. "Jetsam" is part of a ship or its cargo that is purposefully jettisoned to lighten the load. "Lagan" is cargo that is lying on the ocean bottom that can be reclaimed. "Derelict" is cargo lying on the ocean bottom, but with no hope or expectation of salvage/reclaiming. The OP is clearly "derelict," with a very high liklihood of becoming "jetsam" when his live-in has had enough of his sorry butt and lightens her load....Stay tuned -- there is a "Pattaya Plunge" story in the making.

A very nice allegory.

This story certainly has rattled your cage.

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We are all part of a social experiment.

There are too many posts of a similar nature, style and attitude to be coincidence. In fact 2 of the Posters registered within a week or so of each other. They know who they are.

All the posts are controversial and unlikely...and even if true no one would ever post and then continue to support their point. The characters portrayed are sad people in sad situations. There is nothing positive or postworthy in their claims. They do not exist. Such a person would never post. There is nothing to gain.

I think the Poster wants to see how people react to these scenarios and who supports them.

Perhaps not a Troll per se, but certainly someone that likes to get reactions and enjoys the attention...perhaps as sad as the characters he portrays.

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Just hanging on for my pensions to start paying out in less than 15 years...hopefully I'll survive that long.

Hopefully your pensions will hold out that long, and still be worth something when you can finally collect them.

I sincerely hope so too. It's a different theme, but I contributed to my old company's earnings related pension scheme for about 15 years and the annual statements I get from them look promising. I also paid into the UK State pension scheme and do so voluntarily now. And for over ten years I paid into the German State pension scheme, which is also earnings related.

I'm pleased that I don't have all my eggs in one basket, 2 pensions are backed by Governments and the other by a multinational company with over 90,000 employees

Some governments are changing the rules so you can't claim a state pension unless you live in the country.

Foreign exchange rates can drastically alter your expected pension.

Company pensions can fold.

These days it's becoming very worrying.

It seems nothing is safe any more.

You're right, but by law I had to pay into the 2 Government pension schemes. I chose to join the private company scheme and am glad I did.

And yes, exchange rates do vary, just look at how the Thai Baht has appreciated recently. That's the risk you take when you leave your home country. Nevertheless, my pensions will be paid out partly in British sterling and partly in Euros and I hope the world's economies will have improved in 15 years time. And maybe, just maybe, the Germans will have gone back to the DMark by then, in which case I'll be better off.

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We are all part of a social experiment.

There are too many posts of a similar nature, style and attitude to be coincidence. In fact 2 of the Posters registered within a week or so of each other. They know who they are.

All the posts are controversial and unlikely...and even if true no one would ever post and then continue to support their point. The characters portrayed are sad people in sad situations. There is nothing positive or postworthy in their claims. They do not exist. Such a person would never post. There is nothing to gain.

I think the Poster wants to see how people react to these scenarios and who supports them.

Perhaps not a Troll per se, but certainly someone that likes to get reactions and enjoys the attention...perhaps as sad as the characters he portrays.

I'm afraid you're just another paranoid, forum stalker know-it-all

Edited by detinu68
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Quote: "Nevertheless there is a kudos amongst their peers and if as everyone says its all about money then this girl is maximising her income and cutting down on her overheads - how do you think their friends see that"?

That she's found the perfect idiot buffalo until a better offer comes along?

So do they see her in a positive or negative light?

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It seems that a number of posters on this thread believe that Thailand prostitutes are scheming, conniving, cheating, money-grabbing, unhealthy, dangerous, repulsive women. But how many of you posters can honestly state that you have never been with a Thailand prostitute? I don't see too many hands being raised, in fact, I don't see any.

Does that mean that many of you are hypocrites?

According to others who have studied prostitution, there are approximately 40 million women world wide currently working as prostitutes, and from that number about 2 million in Thailand.

Most women become prostitutes seeking economic survival. In Thailand, there are no social benefits or government welfare payments so families need to be self sufficient. Children are expected to look after their parents financially, as best they can. In order to do that, most leave school early to start work so as to provide the family with a steady income.

i'm sure that all reading this post already know this, so I won't continue with this point.

Prostitution in Thailand is illegal but in many Western countries there are legal brothels.

Whilst many prostitutes world wide are from a lower social-class origins, there are high-class call girls who come from more affluent families.

Many are well educated, mixing in high class social environments. Some of their customers are high ranking government representatives.

So where do you draw the line?

In your mind, are all these girls repulsive, dangerous and dirty just because they sell their bodies for sex, or are some more acceptable to your moral standards than others?

Now let's get back to the purpose of this thread.

The OP has taken a working girl into his household to live with him. We know nothing about her other than what has been disclosed by the OP.

We don't know why she entered the trade, her educational standard, how many of her family members are relying on her monetary contribution for their survival, what are her feelings towards the OP, what are her long term plans etc. etc. Yet so many of you have already made up your mind that she is trash and must be avoided at all costs.

Life is all about choices. The OP and his partner have made their choices. Whether their situation changes over time to become better or worse, is irrelevant to posters here, it's all in their hands. All seems quite happy so far.

How many of your Western friends have failed marriages or failed relationships? Were any of those people prostitutes?

Yes, the OP's partner might sleep with different customers but to her it might be no different to being a hairdresser, running her fingers through customers hair all day. No feelings involved.

She may also have some reservations about the OP. Will he continue to support her, treat her nice and be there when she needs him. Will their relationship grow into, perhaps, marriage? Maybe these doubts are why she doesn't immediately leave the industry that now provides her a good income. She doesn't want to burn her bridges just yet.

When you boil it all down, prostitutes are no different to most other women. They want to be wanted by that one, special person. In return they have the ability to make that special person an extremely happy person.

I'm sure the OP will continue to enjoy living his life the way he now does irrespective of those of you who oppose his personal choice of partner.

I agree with you 100%. I could not have said it better.

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xylophone raised a point in post #178 about my GF finding a "normal" job.

It's a fair point, but would you take a 66-70% pay cut because your partner doesn't like the job you're doing?

I should mention that she has a mortgage on a condo just north of Bangkok and two children (15 & 16) to support.

I think it's best for me to stay out of it and let her manage her own working life.

In any case, I can't know how long the relationship will last. I may meet someone else or she may meet someone else. Xxxx happens.

If you truly love the girl, like you say you do, you would do more to help her in her situation rather than just share in her earnings and ask her to help out when you are "skint".

There is always something you can do to earn more money if you want to, and it may take a little more drive and ambition than I think I see coming through in your words, however it is possible.

I left school at 15 without any qualifications and took an apprenticeship and was made redundant at the end of it with absolutely no money other than my final pay packet, I found more work, then travelled overseas looking for work, also worked as a labourer on a building site and as a part-time gardener, and to cut to the chase, ended up running a multi-billion-dollar funds management company. Obviously I had drive and ambition and retrained myself throughout, however if I can do it, then anyone can do it, if they have a mind to.

If you were to encourage your girlfriend to seek alternative work, you could increase your income to help support her through, for example: – working extra hours as an English teacher; charging friends/farangs in the area and nearby towns for fixing their computers, or running computer schools at weekends; charging your daughter and family rent for living in your house (if you don't already do so, if you do then look at increasing the rent); taking out a loan against the value of your house to fund your living expenses over the next "X years"; investigating transferring some of your pensions to other schemes which enable you to withdraw up to 25% of it when one reaches the age of 50 (yes they are available if you take the time to search them out).

And the list could go on and on...........however there is one common factor throughout all of this, and that is the desire, drive and ambition to want to do something/succeed in it, and if you don't have those attributes, then things won't change and you will still be the person I described in an earlier post, or it least very similar.

Up to you, as they say here, and if you do love the girl as you say you do, then why wouldn't you?

Edited by xylophone
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xylophone raised a point in post #178 about my GF finding a "normal" job.

It's a fair point, but would you take a 66-70% pay cut because your partner doesn't like the job you're doing?

I should mention that she has a mortgage on a condo just north of Bangkok and two children (15 & 16) to support.

I think it's best for me to stay out of it and let her manage her own working life.

In any case, I can't know how long the relationship will last. I may meet someone else or she may meet someone else. Xxxx happens.

If you truly love the girl, like you say you do, you would do more to help her in her situation rather than just share in her earnings and ask her to help out when you are "skint".

There is always something you can do to earn more money if you want to, and it may take a little more drive and ambition than I think I see coming through in your words, however it is possible.

I left school at 15 without any qualifications and took an apprenticeship and was made redundant at the end of it with absolutely no money other than my final pay packet, I found more work, then travelled overseas looking for work, also worked as a labourer on a building site and as a part-time gardener, and to cut to the chase, ended up running a multi-billion-dollar funds management company. Obviously I had drive and ambition and retrained myself throughout, however if I can do it, then anyone can do it, if they have a mind to.

If you were to encourage your girlfriend to seek alternative work, you could increase your income to help support her through, for example: – working extra hours as an English teacher; charging friends/farangs in the area and nearby towns for fixing their computers, or running computer schools at weekends; charging your daughter and family rent for living in your house (if you don't already do so, if you do then look at increasing the rent); taking out a loan against the value of your house to fund your living expenses over the next "X years"; investigating transferring some of your pensions to other schemes which enable you to withdraw up to 25% of it when one reaches the age of 50 (yes they are available if you take the time to search them out).

And the list could go on and on...........however there is one common factor throughout all of this, and that is the desire, drive and ambition to want to do something/succeed in it, and if you don't have those attributes, then things won't change and you will still be the person I described in an earlier post, or it least very similar.

Up to you, as they say here, and if you do love the girl as you say you do, then why wouldn't you?

You and fruitcake just don't get it. The OP has how many times tried to get across that they both are HAPPY. "If it is not broken, then don't fix it". He is not asking for your advice about finding her another job. He just wanted to know if there are other people in a similar situation.

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They are prostitutes, they chose to be so. Many haven't..they are different, recognize that..they invariably are lazy and lacking in education..it just astonishes me that people think this normal and ok..I suspect it is because many in here are married to or involved with bgs...that's ok..but recognize it for what it is, there is no authenticity in these relationships...agreed if they are happy ok...but to listen to farangs on here justify prostitution because it suites them is not an argument.

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They are prostitutes, they chose to be so. Many haven't..they are different, recognize that..they invariably are lazy and lacking in education..it just astonishes me that people think this normal and ok..I suspect it is because many in here are married to or involved with bgs...that's ok..but recognize it for what it is, there is no authenticity in these relationships...agreed if they are happy ok...but to listen to farangs on here justify prostitution because it suites them is not an argument.

I would venture to say that a good percentage of farangs here came for the prostitutes and the fun way of life, same with the PI. Of course some are under the allusion if they met them through an internet cafe or dating service then they are not prostitutes. If it makes them feel good, so be it.

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Quote: "You and fruitcake just don't get it. The OP has how many times tried to get across that they both are HAPPY. "If it is not broken, then don't fix it". He is not asking for your advice about finding her another job. He just wanted to know if there are other people in a similar
situation".

Yes, you may be right, maybe it's the incurable romantic in me!! However he did say that he loved her very much and she was only working as a hooker for the money.......SO if an alternative way to provide the money could be found, then she wouldn't have to work as a hooker. Seemed simple enough logic to me, hence my post.

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It seems that a number of posters on this thread believe that Thailand prostitutes are scheming, conniving, cheating, money-grabbing, unhealthy, dangerous, repulsive women. But how many of you posters can honestly state that you have never been with a Thailand prostitute? I don't see too many hands being raised, in fact, I don't see any.

Does that mean that many of you are hypocrites?

According to others who have studied prostitution, there are approximately 40 million women world wide currently working as prostitutes, and from that number about 2 million in Thailand.

Most women become prostitutes seeking economic survival. In Thailand, there are no social benefits or government welfare payments so families need to be self sufficient. Children are expected to look after their parents financially, as best they can. In order to do that, most leave school early to start work so as to provide the family with a steady income.

i'm sure that all reading this post already know this, so I won't continue with this point.

Prostitution in Thailand is illegal but in many Western countries there are legal brothels.

Whilst many prostitutes world wide are from a lower social-class origins, there are high-class call girls who come from more affluent families.

Many are well educated, mixing in high class social environments. Some of their customers are high ranking government representatives.

So where do you draw the line?

In your mind, are all these girls repulsive, dangerous and dirty just because they sell their bodies for sex, or are some more acceptable to your moral standards than others?

Now let's get back to the purpose of this thread.

The OP has taken a working girl into his household to live with him. We know nothing about her other than what has been disclosed by the OP.

We don't know why she entered the trade, her educational standard, how many of her family members are relying on her monetary contribution for their survival, what are her feelings towards the OP, what are her long term plans etc. etc. Yet so many of you have already made up your mind that she is trash and must be avoided at all costs.

Life is all about choices. The OP and his partner have made their choices. Whether their situation changes over time to become better or worse, is irrelevant to posters here, it's all in their hands. All seems quite happy so far.

How many of your Western friends have failed marriages or failed relationships? Were any of those people prostitutes?

Yes, the OP's partner might sleep with different customers but to her it might be no different to being a hairdresser, running her fingers through customers hair all day. No feelings involved.

She may also have some reservations about the OP. Will he continue to support her, treat her nice and be there when she needs him. Will their relationship grow into, perhaps, marriage? Maybe these doubts are why she doesn't immediately leave the industry that now provides her a good income. She doesn't want to burn her bridges just yet.

When you boil it all down, prostitutes are no different to most other women. They want to be wanted by that one, special person. In return they have the ability to make that special person an extremely happy person.

I'm sure the OP will continue to enjoy living his life the way he now does irrespective of those of you who oppose his personal choice of partner.

How many more comments are you going to post on this thread defending, or trying to justify thai prostitutes. Why are doing this ?

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How many more comments are you going to post on this thread defending, or trying to justify thai prostitutes. Why are doing this ?

Prostitute,s NO- they are tour guides/psychologists/social workers,many of them are highly experienced with excellent qualifications from the University of life and in the main do excellent service to their (mainly) male clientel who have become disatisfied with the constantly changing terms and conditions of their marriage certificates-just my thoughts whistling.gif

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xylophone raised a point in post #178 about my GF finding a "normal" job.

It's a fair point, but would you take a 66-70% pay cut because your partner doesn't like the job you're doing?

I should mention that she has a mortgage on a condo just north of Bangkok and two children (15 & 16) to support.

I think it's best for me to stay out of it and let her manage her own working life.

In any case, I can't know how long the relationship will last. I may meet someone else or she may meet someone else. Xxxx happens.

If you truly love the girl, like you say you do, you would do more to help her in her situation rather than just share in her earnings and ask her to help out when you are "skint".

There is always something you can do to earn more money if you want to, and it may take a little more drive and ambition than I think I see coming through in your words, however it is possible.

I left school at 15 without any qualifications and took an apprenticeship and was made redundant at the end of it with absolutely no money other than my final pay packet, I found more work, then travelled overseas looking for work, also worked as a labourer on a building site and as a part-time gardener, and to cut to the chase, ended up running a multi-billion-dollar funds management company. Obviously I had drive and ambition and retrained myself throughout, however if I can do it, then anyone can do it, if they have a mind to.

If you were to encourage your girlfriend to seek alternative work, you could increase your income to help support her through, for example: – working extra hours as an English teacher; charging friends/farangs in the area and nearby towns for fixing their computers, or running computer schools at weekends; charging your daughter and family rent for living in your house (if you don't already do so, if you do then look at increasing the rent); taking out a loan against the value of your house to fund your living expenses over the next "X years"; investigating transferring some of your pensions to other schemes which enable you to withdraw up to 25% of it when one reaches the age of 50 (yes they are available if you take the time to search them out).

And the list could go on and on...........however there is one common factor throughout all of this, and that is the desire, drive and ambition to want to do something/succeed in it, and if you don't have those attributes, then things won't change and you will still be the person I described in an earlier post, or it least very similar.

Up to you, as they say here, and if you do love the girl as you say you do, then why wouldn't you?

You and fruitcake just don't get it. The OP has how many times tried to get across that they both are HAPPY. "If it is not broken, then don't fix it". He is not asking for your advice about finding her another job. He just wanted to know if there are other people in a similar situation.

Lucky for you, he got an approval from yourselfblink.png

PS. Why does he need an approval or to see if anyone else is in similar situation?whistling.gif

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How many more comments are you going to post on this thread defending, or trying to justify thai prostitutes. Why are doing this ?

Prostitute,s NO- they are tour guides/psychologists/social workers,many of them are highly experienced with excellent qualifications from the University of life and in the main do excellent service to their (mainly) male clientel who have become disatisfied with the constantly changing terms and conditions of their marriage certificates-just my thoughts whistling.gif

YUP, but many of the disatisfied gents then go on to enter a new marriage contract with a prostitute , sorry I should have said " tour guide/psychologist/ social worker" and many of these social workers are in a marriage contract with their brother.

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I really didn't expect such a response to my original posting. And thousands of others have viewed the thread but haven't expressed an opinion.

So many interesting philosophical arguments for and against the relationship.

Very interesting and thanks for taking the time to respond.

The day-to-day reality of our relationship is much more mundane than some may think.

We go shopping together, share the washing and ironing, clean the condo, cook what we want to eat, watch TV together, listen to music together. Just normal things.

I'm not looking for a fairytale ending. Over the last 30 years I've had 3 serious and happy relationships before unfortunately, as many relationships do, they all ended for one reason and another (my definition of serious = living together, sharing everything).

So now I'm on my 4th serious relationship.

Our relationship may seem unconventional as seen through Western eyes (probably Thai eyes too?).

But I live in Pattaya and was aware of and open to the possibility of exactly this happening. Pattaya IS very different to most parts of Thailand, believe me.

You need to have spent a lot of time here to really understand what it's like before judging others if you haven't.

Who knows where it will lead to? For now we're both happy together and I'm grateful for that.

Edited by detinu68
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I really didn't expect such a response to my original posting. And thousands of others have viewed the thread but haven't expressed an opinion.

Our relationship may seem unconventional as seen through Western eyes (probably Thai eyes too?).

On a topic like this a huge response is expected - that's why some may have suspected you of being a troll.

Your situation is extremely common for Thais. I don't think you could count the number of Thai husbands/boyfriends living off the proceeds of their sex-working wives/girlfriends. In the Philippines we used to call them "cockroaches"... I don't know what they call them here.

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snip......

We go shopping together, share the washing and ironing, clean the condo, cook what we want to eat, watch TV together, listen to music together. Just normal things.

....snip

If you have a girlfriend who doesn't watch thai soaps all the time and is happy watching farang TV then you are clearly on to a winner. If, on the other hand, you sit watching thai soaps with her then you have my pity!

Films with Thai subtitles only smile.png

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In the Philippines we used to call them "cockroaches"... I don't know what they call them here.

Same thing ("Mang Da" - cockroach).

"Mairg Saap" is cockroach, "Mairng Daa" is a fresh-water creature found in wet rice paddy, similar but not the same.

post-151798-0-99777000-1366111162_thumb.

Edited by AnotherOneAmerican
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In the Philippines we used to call them "cockroaches"... I don't know what they call them here.

Same thing ("Mang Da" - cockroach).

"Mairg Saap" is cockroach, "Mairng Daa" is a fresh-water crab

Similar connotations though - both feed on scaps.

Edited by tropo
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I really didn't expect such a response to my original posting. And thousands of others have viewed the thread but haven't expressed an opinion.

Our relationship may seem unconventional as seen through Western eyes (probably Thai eyes too?).

On a topic like this a huge response is expected - that's why some may have suspected you of being a troll.

Your situation is extremely common for Thais. I don't think you could count the number of Thai husbands/boyfriends living off the proceeds of their sex-working wives/girlfriends. In the Philippines we used to call them "cockroaches"... I don't know what they call them here.

I get your point.

But I don't live off her earnings.

And even if I did it's no business of yours to judge me.

Each to his own. Thank goodness we're all different

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In the Philippines we used to call them "cockroaches"... I don't know what they call them here.

Same thing ("Mang Da" - cockroach).
"Mairg Saap" is cockroach, "Mairng Daa" is a fresh-water creature found in wet rice paddy, similar but not the same
Maeng daa is a species of water bug (Belostomatidae).

...and a pimp.

Edited by NanLaew
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I get your point.

But I don't live off her earnings.

And even if I did it's no business of yours to judge me.

Each to his own. Thank goodness we're all different

Of course it is my business to judge you. We read a story on here, then make a judgement (give an opinion) on what we read. That's one of the basic "businesses" of an internet forum.

Edited by tropo
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