Why Do Many Farrangs Show Disrespect To Their Neighbors

[lannaman]

I don't like their parties.

Yeah, none of us like their loud music, but just show your face for a bit, smile, wai and join a dance, YOU WILL EARN THEIR RESPECT. Don't forget your ear plugs!

No need to hang around for a long time.

[BookMan]

Your question assumes that you are right and they are wrong. It's not a fair way to approach this.

This brand of positivism is like turning down our brains below even a low simmer. When did developing an opinion become inherently unfair? What if he has a reasonable point? There was no rush to condemn anyone; actually, he seems quite fair-minded! That's not to say that the people he refers to don't have their reasons for how they live. Of course we haven't heard their side of the story. But we already know that! That doesn't make it unfair to describe what he sees! It's amazing how often people venture reasonable opinions, clearly in the spirit of free dialogue, and then receive that tired old admonishment not to judge a book by its cover! That reaction always strikes me as quite pointless. We have to start somewhere. The book does have a cover, so what is "unfair" about saying what it looks like? Unfair would be stating an opinion, then attempting to shut down the discussion. In this case, the opposite seems to have happened. I would say his comments are eminently fair! o_O

And I would say you and Buddha are both stating your own opinions here . Seems fair

[brucegoniners]

Well maybe the "farangs" (I hate that term, it sounds like a disease) probably don't show up because they don't want buckets of water dumped on their heads.

As for giving to the poor, that's a personal choice. I agree that the better off should help those less fortunate, but how do you know they don't give somewhere?

Here in Bangkok the street beggars beg for the mafia. I refuse to support the mafia. The only money I've given in a long while was to buy a poor puppy who would have been set out by the bastards when he got too big to be "cute" from a street beggar for 500 baht. Bernie is now a proud member of our family. He's about 7 months old and went from skin and bones to a healthy growing dog. (see images before and after).

I am a so called "farang" and I've given to animal charities here in town. although I found out one of my donations (to help the dogs who were on a truck that was intercepted on it's way to Vietnam) was taken by the authorities there and didn't go to help the dogs. So you need to be careful who you give money to.

As you can see, the "poor" I choose to help are the helpless animals here in Bangkok. That's my charity.

But don't be so judgmental about people just by what you see. You aren't with them 24/7 and they may have their reasons for their actions.

Edited April 18, 2013 by brucegoniners

[brucegoniners]

People who get outraged about being called farang are never going to be happy here and they are going to keep being called farang as long as they stay - no matter how angry they get about it. Personally, being called a white person does not bother me at all.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't make me angry or "outraged", but I just think this guy is looking at things all wrong. I had my say.

[oldsailor35]

I am a Southampton Premiership team supporter..........Why are'nt you ?

Its a free world so we can do and feel how we like without demanding that others do as we do. Give it up mate, whatever makes you happy !

Edited April 18, 2013 by oldsailor35

[kimincm]

I use to be farang now it's Loong. I think it's up to you how you are treated.

[NancyL]

I had an interesting discussion today with an American citizen of south Asian descent. He's your basic Chiang Mai expat retiree and says that the Thai people call him a "keek" but never a "farang". He notes the Thai people all realize the term "keek" is impolite, but not the term "farang".

When I first came to Thailand almost 40 years ago, the term "farang" was in the same category as "keek". Now it's become more acceptable, especially among the younger people because the white people started using that term to describe themselves.

It's a real head-shaker -- it's like all the black people in the U.S. decided it was polite to refer to themselves using the "n" word.

[Ulysses G.]

Sorry, but farang has nothing in common with the n-word. It is not an insult unless combined with an insulting word.

[Briandajew]

I don't like their parties.

And especially not Songkran.. Just read through some of the comments posted here by the grinches.. clearly they want to be holed up. Anyway as you noticed, that makes the appreciation for people who DO want to be a part of the country they live in much greater.

(As an aside though, I do hope you're not assuming just by looking at a big house that it's a foreigner living there? Because more often than not, it's not.)

Not a grinch, I have quite a few interactions with my community. However I really dislike Thai parties in general. Bad loud music, boorish jokes, uncomfortable seating, and it goes on way too long. And like VF I rarely drink, but they must always push me to do so. The opposite of fun for me.

You aren't kidding! and generally where I am if you are the lone "Whitey" they will seek you out and drag you up to dance, try to force their disgusting Lao Kao down your throat, babble drunkenly at you for hours even if you don't speak the lingo, they seem to think that once you are at the party you are fluent in Mon or Khmer. As for Song Krahn, well, some of us are not really excited by being doused with filthy klong water all day (You can get some nasty ear infections and fungal growth in the groin) your car windows and paint will be ruined for years. Buckets of Ice cubes chucked in your face when driving is not much fun either. I have had a few experiences over the years where my vision has been completely blinded whilst driving in traffic and I really would not want to kill someone on a motorbike with my pick up in the name of "FUN"

[Briandajew]

When I was new I was enamored with everything Thai and got involved in everything I could. Not so much now. I choke on the smoke at these gatherings. The music is so loud it is painful. Why should I feel obligated to go to some function where I'm choking and in pain? It's always the same thing, too much smoke, music too loud. All the things the others have mentioned too...the drunk guy who won't leave me alone and eventually I leave early to get away from him yelling and spitting on me. It doesn't mean I am anti-social though. I like to eat Isaan food and my wife and I do take part in village events...give candy to children at Christmas; help the extended family when needed...just when it's a party, I don't stay too long.

I think the OP hasn't been in Thailand very long to have the questions he has.

I agree with what you say.

I used to enjoy going to Thai parties, but I just had enough of the sychophantic Thais that would practically grovel to get free drinks. Constant requests for cigarettes. I wasn't allowed to simply have fun, because so many people who I didn't know zeroed in on me and pretended to be my friend just to get out of me whatever they could.

I may not be totally happy to be addressed as "Farang", but it really grates when they shout "YOU YOU YOU" and wave an empty bottle in my face and say "Wis-a-gee mawt "

Most Thais are really nice at these celebrations, but the few make it intolerable for me, they simply won't leave me alone. If I can eventually get rid of them they are immediately replaced by another pain in the arse!

My God! That brings back some memories! Whisakee Mawt!!! - Yeah, like we are a free bar and a free bank! Nothing more annoying than a drunken Thai trying to be your "Friend"

[tezzainthailand]

Disrespect goes both ways. I can recall four years ago a wedding party beginning at 2 a.m. , 50 metres from my village apartment in provinicial Khon Kaen. With those monster stacks rocking my digs till daybreak I had no chance of sleep and departed bleary eyed for Khon Kaen city at 8 a.m. to seek silent refuge for 36 hours. No complaint from me however..was it worth it? What got me narcy was a week later at 10 p.m on a Friday evening getting loud bangs on my door with the apartment manager angry that I was playing farang music on my 900 baht mini sound system...the only one angrier was me and did I let rip with a few expletives. Of course I was asked to leave the apartment and the story of the angry farang did the rounds at my local school the following Monday morning.

[laislica]

Sorry, but farang has nothing in common with the n-word. It is not an insult unless combined with an insulting word.

Well if westerners are Farang, could the term Ferengi (from Star Trek/Deep Space 9) be used to describe someone?

If you Google the rules of acquisition ferengi list you may have no doubts as to whom I am thinking of.

Maybe this should have it's own thread?

[slipperylobster]

I enjoy the company of Thai's when they are celebrating. Paradoxically, many older farangs would admonish my boisterous behavior when celebrating a special occasion Many older Farangs would Thais are not used to loud music, dancing and cheerful laughing when out and about, or during their celebrations. Furthermore, I needed to be quiet and subdued in order for me to respected. For a long while, I actually believed this was true, until I started going to non-farang type establishments and parties/family gatherings. They are a loud and fun loving group, when given the right circumstances. Retired Farangs, in general (and particularly the more-than-reserved whispering Brits) prefer quiet places. Hope this brings up some comments... I suspect many older farangs, those who can afford mini-mansions, are more prone to sit in quiet places without all the hoorah that the thais (and myself) enjoy.

[KuhnPaen]

What's wrong with being "Shreck"?

If he wants to build a ten foot wall around his home, so be it.

I wish I had when I lived in Sisaket with my GF for 2 years.

Giving money to the poor is overrated. Eventually you will be seen as an ATM. Sorry, but it's true. I got around this by giving my money to my GF--if people wanted money from me, they had to go through her.

If kids need money for school, then they should go work in a factory or something. Or sell trinkets like they do at Angkor Wat. 7 year olds are notoriously lazy these days.

Also, after the honeymoon phase wears off, and you realize you have nothing in common with the local farmer, why not just sit inside your bitchin pad and chill all day? Preferably with stockpiles of food, ammunition, and a harem.

I was the only farang in our village, and I was treated with a mixture of curiosity and indifference..until someone wanted to have a party. Then I was invited and expected to pay--for everything. it gets old--fast.

Over the years I have learned to speak Thai and Isaan. You would think this opens doors to friendships and whatnot, but I find the reverse is true. IMO, Thais like their farangs fresh off the boat and naive. When you are there for a while, and I speak only for myself, you see through the daily BS, and sometimes want to be alone.

If anything, I have come to have my greatest friendships with other expats who are intellectual, artistic, and enjoy things like reading. I have yet to meet a Thai that I have anything in common with.

So, your loner farang might just be onto something.

Thailand is a great place to stay indoors sometimes.

[mancub]

I get called "mak-see-da" often when I'm wandering around the village . Being Isaan speak for the fruit called falang, it's humourous rather than disrespectful .

[Raybo]

In Thailand, without a fence, you wouldn't have anything left when you returned from Songkran.

What about the Thai bigshot they stole the flood victims money?

I guess they forgot about all the Farang American VFW post around Thailand that buy bycycles, wheelchairs, atificial limbs,

Donate to orphanages, and Old folks homes.

The Bible Says, "Don't worry about the speck in your neighbors eye, get the board out of your eye first".

Ray Fisher

[slipperylobster]

I tend to find the term Farang rude, and you don't often hear it from Thais. Once in 5 years in our village I have been referred to as the Farang to my face and that was in a heated argument.

Why use it in the context of this post?

I know what you mean. Let's use the term "white man" in future. It has a lot more dignity.

Those whiteys are at it again! lol. My black neighbors used to call us whiteys. Not very respectful at all

[SeeWill]

Time to do a roundhouse kick!

1. I have seen excuses and can see the authors of these excuses are just simple ignorant c*nts! YES YOU ARE! Why you don't stay in your country where you came from and hide there behind your walls as you did!

2. The term 'Farang' is in many FARANG mind a bad word used like the westerner are using 'Foreigners, Pakis, Kanaken' and so on,,, every country has its own bad word for immigrants to show the personal hate to them.. In Thai it has another meaning from the heart seen. :He/she from another land" or simple "He/she from outside" would be a good description for it. Thanks for the paleface, good one. THAT would upset me sure...

Nuff said!

Here my little story and why I love Thailand as my home. Read or stop here. I just hope that some readers will say. YES, that is my way too or I live exactly the same style and I AM HAPPY!

I am this Sonkran unfortunately at work and can't join with my family the Village my wife grew up. It is every year a smashing party and the fact that I am the only FARANG there makes sure i get always my extra portion of water and powder. I enjoy it every time again.

The language barrier is no issue. I learned all European languages and my head is full, Thai somehow won't come in.

But the heartiness of all neighbors, the nonstop worries what can FARANG 'Lung Will' (uncle Will) eat and sure they stuff all kind of things into me and learning what I can take or my stomach can take. And of cause everyone thinks: I haven't had a drink with FARANG and cheer up to the new year, all want this bit honor even he get drunk like a Quay from rotten fruits... all this is overseen or seen as bad manner towards FARANGS in the small FARANG mind. I have learned to ease up situations like language barriers with LOL (LOUD OUT LOUGHING) because this is the Thai way to do.

My gate is open and all friends are coming in and out when ever they please to, if they are there they greet me with a Sawadee kaa/kap LUNG (Uncle) Will and help themselves at the fridge, having a nap on the couch without asking, as I do when I am visiting the village of my father in Law. (makes them feeling you are happy and very comfortable with their hospitality, did you know that?)

My family is my one and all and when aunt Plaa in the poor Chieng Yuen/Kalasin area decides that the daughter is old enough to got to work, she sends her to Pattaya to my house and off cause I will provide a room, food and support.

All know she will be in good care and will find a job at BigC, a Hotel or a Restaurant,, because I turn into a real uncle when she want's to work in a Bar. Only one of my nieces ever tried to lie to me. She said she was working at Carrefour and I found out she went to a walking street Bar. Damn I slapped her a** until it was green and blue.. That was the moment my entire Family made me part of them and this story circles already for years in our family..

If I am travelling to the Village (and I HAVE to come each time the 600km after a working trip of 2-3 month) I bring some Cup Soups for the neighbors, some little things what my wife thinks we need to bring with until the Harley is fully loaded.

The day is 7pm to 3am, morning Ciggy and coffee without much words with Por (Father), the Monk comes at 5am (when the old Village Loudspeaker blurring out Lung Will and wife is back) and he learned extra "Good morning how are you" when I pass him discrete in an envelope the money for the electric in the Temple or some donations for a roof repair and sure I not get more blessing for it as when I just hand over a scoop of rice... this little blessing for my feeling, I am part of it here and now...

Father's rice fields are now Grassland (His bones are too old to make rice) for OUR Humpback Cows bought in Laos and we are all proud of our 3rd generation Calves that are an attraction all around Kalasin and Mahasarakham's farmers...

After this year offshore working it will be the entire Village getting cows to create a good breeding system to avoid Incest... A female Calf is round 15000 Baht in Laos and the supply of the village is round 2 month of my offshore wages.. But then my pension is sorted... It took me and my wife 8 years to make it understandable to all villagers but we made it finally...

BUT, Pity that I am not at Songkran this year because everyone has been asking and felt reluctant that I am this year not there to get my extra portion of water. My brother in Law who dropped me last week off at the airport was hiding his face at my chest for the shame of the tears..

Final word: This is just a story of a normal life that could be everywhere in the world as long the foreigner adapts to the lifestyle and accepts to live another kind of culture and rules. You want to live behind the wall alone and die alone? Why you don't do it where you come from instead screw up the public view on FARANGS? Open your gate and get your neighbor having a beer with you on your terrace. Sure he will love your flower garden also and will look with interest how clean all looks and he will not be jealous, he will tell how nice your garden is and how friendly you are, that you have the same view of hospitality as Thai have.. And after flushing his beer down he will leave laughing because the language barrier, next day it comes a "hello, how are you? 55555"

[MobileContent]

For me I prefer to celebrate Songkran with my closed one. No disrespect with the villagers in my village but moving from hosue to house is not my cup of tea. Prefer the first day to visit the grandmother and grandfather and some cousins but Day 2 and Day 3 is purely focused for me on my wife and in laws which includes driving on the back of the pickup and splashing water on other pickup trucks.

Looking forward for next year.

To the OP I am most of the time the only farang in my village or nearby villages but we get weekly invitations to some kind of parties but normally my FIL/MIL would attend as their is always someone expiring or getting married..

We do give some times a year some funds to the wat. To the OP if you are too close to your community, don't be surprised if they will come by and hit you often for 285/Lao Khao or LEO. I don't mind some time paying for it but I don't want all those people crowind our homes.

[johnmcc6]

I too show up...look around ...say hello then bolt if I don't like the scene. This particular event turned out great....maybe it was the abundance Leo?????

Well perhaps they also bolted because they didn't 'like the scene'. Bit hypocritical if you ask me, and why be so bothered what other folks don't get up to as if you're some kind of ambassador of the farang community? Me thinks one is really just jealous of the 'mini-mansions'; be truthful now.

Give me a break...The whole topic is asking why live here if you don't get involved...I have my own mini mansion plus a bit outside the city...there are many great posts here from some who have really enjoyed the scene of mixing with the locals. The only way one can bolt is to show up in the first place...Ambassador???...No...just trying to find out what makes the expats tick. From a few responses I can see some who have no idea outside their own little patch. How boring.

[unanimosity]

Your question assumes that you are right and they are wrong. It's not a fair way to approach this.

Two people can disagree and both be right...(or wrong for that matter.)

[Ajaan]

BuddhaMind, on 16 Apr 2013 - 20:53, said:

Your question assumes that you are right and they are wrong. It's not a fair way to approach this.

Come off it. All of you would (and probably do) criticize foreign immigrants to YOUR home country who "keep to themselves," "don't contribute to society" and worst of all, "don't learn the language," and you know it.

[laislica]

I too show up...look around ...say hello then bolt if I don't like the scene. This particular event turned out great....maybe it was the abundance Leo?????

Well perhaps they also bolted because they didn't 'like the scene'. Bit hypocritical if you ask me, and why be so bothered what other folks don't get up to as if you're some kind of ambassador of the farang community? Me thinks one is really just jealous of the 'mini-mansions'; be truthful now.

Give me a break...The whole topic is asking why live here if you don't get involved...I have my own mini mansion plus a bit outside the city...there are many great posts here from some who have really enjoyed the scene of mixing with the locals. The only way one can bolt is to show up in the first place...Ambassador???...No...just trying to find out what makes the expats tick. From a few responses I can see some who have no idea outside their own little patch. How boring.

I wonder just how many neighbours someone back in the West actually knows enough to socialise with?

The rule in the West is mind your own business and stay out of mine! This is even true in a village.

Maybe Farang do not know the local customs?

Do you get personal invites into a Thai neighbours house?

Family run in and out of each others homes as if they were their own, but family, not strangers.

This is also true of the UK and Spain where I have had long term experience

The foreigner will be invited for a drink only at new year and that's that.

In such circumstances, maybe it is actually respectful NOT to force yourself onto a local celebration.

The locals will notice if it's important that you join in and by the "Thai telegraph", the foreigner will be encouraged to "pop in and break the ice" - or not.

[NBD]

Regarding the term farang, I don't resent it as a term to describe westerners as one might use Asian, European or black. What does piss me off a bit is to be referred to as the farang when I have a perfectly good name. If someone at home referred to my wife as "the asian" then I wouldn't be too pleased. If they chose to ask me directly "where is the asian from" right in front of her then I'd also consider it very rude.

True enough that it is partly their culture and their way but I still find it impolite and boring, I have better things to do, and anyway my wife has more fun at such events catching up with old friends and family who she doesn't see very often than explaining to a succession of village idiots that I com flom England, I've never met Wayne Rooney and there's not going to be a big free wedding party when my wife shakes the farang money tree.

It's not about being aloof towards Thai people in general but against blithering idiots.

[ALFREDO]

I am the only farang that lives in my tambon. Each year my wife and I go to the village community center for Songkran. Also we go to the temple each year for the blessings of the monks. At my village I am always invites to joins the elders in the blessing. At the temple after the blessing of the monks there is a water fight. Being the only farang in the community has one good advance, when the Fedex truck comes to make a delivery everyone knows where the farang lives.

If it is not a secret or Business papers. What do you get delivered from -Fedex- as it seems more than once?

[kevvy]

I was invited to a community festival of about 200 people. First went to the temple and got the blessings from the monks and then had a feast of food which was prepared by all the community. The whole community accepted me and tried to talk to me and were very happy a "farang" came to their festival. After the food was eaten I was blessed by people pouring water over my hands and shoulders. It was amazing and I was so proud to be accepted in the community.

[kevvy]

Regarding the term farang, I don't resent it as a term to describe westerners as one might use Asian, European or black. What does piss me off a bit is to be referred to as the farang when I have a perfectly good name. If someone at home referred to my wife as "the asian" then I wouldn't be too pleased. If they chose to ask me directly "where is the asian from" right in front of her then I'd also consider it very rude.

True enough that it is partly their culture and their way but I still find it impolite and boring, I have better things to do, and anyway my wife has more fun at such events catching up with old friends and family who she doesn't see very often than explaining to a succession of village idiots that I com flom England, I've never met Wayne Rooney and there's not going to be a big free wedding party when my wife shakes the farang money tree.

It's not about being aloof towards Thai people in general but against blithering idiots.

i disagree with you .Many times I have been with my wife and her friends who meet me for the first time ask her "where is your husband from?" Never have I been referred to as the farang in front of me

[NBD]

True enough kevvy, and that is a notch up, but why not ask me?

[ALFREDO]

The majority these farangs who chose to make Thailand their homes are from low social class.

They are just behaving the way they have done in their own countries.

Hi-So Thais look down on them.

Provide a LINK which confirms your statements.

Until than, I think of them, as coming from a source, who smokes something to much,

(recognized in your photo) which, as it seems, leads to crazy dreams.

[laislica]

True enough kevvy, and that is a notch up, but why not ask me?

or me