I'm Still Just The Falang

[transam]

Calling you a farang is disrespectful at best and racist at worst. To put the boot on the other foot, how do you think you would be received if you were to call all Europeans "the European" or all southeast asians "the southeast Asian"?

If you wish to treat like with like, I suggest referring to each member of your girlfriend's family as "kek noon" while pointing. "Kek" is what the Thais like to call their putatively inferior dark-skinned neighbours from places such as India. Given that most Thais are dark-skinned as well, they are keks from the European perspective. (Obviously, if your girlfriend and her family are white-skinned Thais or use whitening cream a lot, this won't work.)

If you wish to sort the problem, adopt a Thai name, such as "Gop" or "Moo" (just joking: Pichet or Phaiboon would be better) and insist that the family call you by it. If they refuse, well, do you really want to be treated like s**t for the rest of your life?

Don't be daft.

[finnomick1]

Maybe it just me, but I am seldom (if ever) refered to by just name. Most of the family (excluding parents) refer to me as "loong", or if addressing me may say "loong FWIW", the missus calls me by name, but refers to me (to family) as loong or loong FWIW (there is an age gap, but not enormous!). The junior colleagues at work also refer amongst themselves to me as "loong", but not to my face!

Nobody I know refers to me as "farang", and for OP, it may not be a sign of intentional, deliberate rudeness, but I would mark it down as a definite sign of distance at the very least. How does your missus refer to you - especially when talking about you? Does she use "P'name" or just "name" - or even worse, does she refer to you as "farang"? If the latter, well, you know where you stand.

I think even I'd call you loong farang because I'm having a lot of trouble getting my teeth around FWIW

[Morden]

correct

farang comes from farangset which means french whom where prominent in south east asia a while ago

all who knows me can call me oli without any problem , only reffered as farang from people i do not know to which i reply , may chai kon farang , phom pen kon boksida ..... ( isan / lao term for farang ) makes everybody laugh ....

farang is mostly used from people whom do not know your name but used as well as a rude word from people whom you get in an argument with and plain racist pricks ....

It's my understanding that falang/farang is interpreted as Westerner, not as Foreigner.

The origin of the word 'farang' isn't clear but it is taken to mean white Westerner. It is not necessarily intended as an insult but I object to people shouting the word after me in the street.

[Eesat]

One thing I have noticed is that Thais seem to disregard names regularly. It is usually "my friend," "your friend," "my sister," etc. I've often wondered if this is some cultural thing as I hear it regularly.

It gets confusing when someone pops up with, "You know my friend, she just got in a fight with her husband."

"Which friend?"

"You know her, my friend."

Even when speaking with my good friends who have been educated in the US, while they call me by my name, when they are talking about me to others, I can hear them refer to me as "farang."

My fren' you!

(Your friend!)

Edited April 23, 2013 by Eesat

[finnomick1]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

[transam]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

Not good chum.

I call you chum, what does that mean to all ?

[sunshine51]

@ kjelljit....errrr...Henry.....errr....Henly....

I have been living in Southeast Asia for 40+ years.

There have been many GF's & their families.

There have been 2 wives & their families.

I am still a farang... and always will be one

regardless of my Thai language skills

(pretty darn good), PR status etc.

I will always be a farang...there's no geting away

from that fact because I wasn't born a Thai.

If you have pi@&ed off your GF's family then you

have to deal with it...somehow. I hope it costs you

only a little finger and not a rib or leg or...

Good luck.

BTW...there's many more ladies out there if

your current one doesn't work...Go Fishing.

[laislica]

correct

farang comes from farangset which means french whom where prominent in south east asia a while ago

all who knows me can call me oli without any problem , only reffered as farang from people i do not know to which i reply , may chai kon farang , phom pen kon boksida ..... ( isan / lao term for farang ) makes everybody laugh ....

farang is mostly used from people whom do not know your name but used as well as a rude word from people whom you get in an argument with and plain racist pricks ....

Why do ignorant people insist on spreading their ignorance?

do a little bit of research before insulting people .

Farang comes from the word 'Farangi',which I believe is Persian/Farsi in origin and means foreigner.It's nothing to do with French,I suggest you do your research!

Well the origin of the Persian word goes back further but yes they were likely the ones who spread (their version) of the Arabic word...again, it's a case of all these words - France, Farang, Ferengi and so on - coming from a common origin that well predates France/ the French.

EDIT to correct odd auto correction

You sure

Ferengi comes from Star Trek and Deep Space 9 and if you look at the Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition, you see that it perfectly describes someone who is not a Westerner LOL

srry, couldn't resist it. but I think you are actually correct I had a little look at our bible - Wikipedia

[super22k]

Even when I had an appointment at a hospital to see a consultant the nurse said,"The farang is next".When I told her I should call her"" the Coconut" she fell about laughing.

In other countries around the world we are simply called FOREIGNERS.Its easy.

[super22k]

What is all this codswallop about the word Farang. Surely,a Farang is a little green apple.

[BanTamo]

A certain hanger-on at our farm in the wife's Isaan village used to revel in calling me 'bakseeda'. Eventually I came up with a successful retort, calling him มะขาม (makham - tamarind). Both are names of fruit that can be used derisively for people, rather akin the a Chinese's use of ''babana' to indicate one if their own who they feel has become thoroughly westernized (yellow on the outside but white within). Of course a tamarind is brown on the outside but white inside.

My use of very basic Thai to 'politely' but very directly confront that guy over his disrespect won me a modicum of respect. I'm called Uncle now: definitely a promotion in rank.

It took me three times as long as you've been there to get to a rather rudimentary level of Thai so don't beat yourself up about it but it really is a prerequisite, not only for some minimal respect, but also to be able to actually take part in daily life anywhere outside the tourist havens (in other words, anywhere worth living, if not somehow engaged in the tourism economy). Just my two baht's worth. Good luck to you.

[Card]

I'm in the same position - just built my partner a house near the family - I don't have much verbal communication with the family or the village but at least they refer to me as Khun ..... I do appreciate that even though they usually laugh after saying it!

[transam]

I'm in the same position - just built my partner a house near the family - I don't have much verbal communication with the family or the village but at least they refer to me as Khun ..... I do appreciate that even though they usually laugh after saying it!

They laugh cos you built a house near the family.. Sorry, l jest.

[Eesat]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

I thought that 'Khun' was a polite preposition,like Mr,Mrs,Miss etc.?

[Dap]

BTW, there really is no doubt, they really ARE dissing you big time by calling you f-rang after all these years.

But jing, the resident TV experts keep telling us the use of the word "farang" is not degrogatory..

Only because they ARE in touch with their "Thainess"

[laislica]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

I thought that 'Khun' was a polite preposition,like Mr,Mrs,Miss etc.?

I say - How very dare you grammerise this thread?

[transam]

Look you lot, farang means ''Oh Hansum One'', end of story, you can all sleep tonight. ............

[laislica]

Back in the day it was fine to use the term Gollywogs but political correctness reared it's ugly head and now the term is not used.

Maybe, in another life time or two Farang will cease to be used and kon-​dtàang-​châat, foreigner will be used.

Until then - so what!

Wanders off muttering

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!"

Nah na na na na!

[Kilgore Trout]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

I thought that 'Khun' was a polite preposition,like Mr,Mrs,Miss etc.?

It is, this guy is seriously confused

[AnotherOneAmerican]

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

I believe that would be "intellect of a buffalo" or "thinks like a buffalo"

[pacharaphet]

Maybe the only time they bring up "farang" is when they're saying "Why can't that idiot farang learn to speak even some modicum of Thai after being in Thailand for 5+ freakin years??"

I have been here 7 years and dont speak thai and have a thai wife family and none of them refer to me as farang they use my name when they are talking about me to each other so I think the OP's family is being disrespectful to him.

As for those that will say after 7 years I should speak Thai maybe so Im just not good at languages I can get by in thai but don't speak fluently and probably never will and my family are ok with that its not an issue.

I think that you could say you do speak Thai. Many Thais think there is nothing more difficult for a westerner than learning their language, and while they will not never stop being annoyed (some of them, most are veryyy understanding) that you cant say money or sleepy or oven properly, they usually really seem to appreciate. I think your comment speaks to that, as even though you say you are far from fluent, I bet you have seen a certain level of acceptance brought about by your efforts to learn the language. I also bet that you saying: "I speak no Thai" when you are probably at least conversational is something else the Thais in your vicinity like...nobody likes a showoff. Just wanted to say, I think your comment could be framed in such a way that is a bit more motivating for the OP.

[899cc]

They will find it very disrespectful that you haven't learned their language. If you can't speak Thai you don't know what they'rw talking about. Maybe they are talking about guavas. Maybe they're talking about farang food.

ONce you adopt to their cultures and language, they will start calling you by your real name.

That will be Hen-Lee the Farang..........

[Greeen]

my experience is that...

the uneducated Thai's, and Thai people that don't respect or like you, will call you farang

and the educated Thai's, and Thai people that like you and respect you will call you by you name

[monkeyboots]

"Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though."

I agree - make the effort with the language and get involved. It seems to make a difference with how us falangs are treated!

Edited April 23, 2013 by monkeyboots

[transam]

"Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though."

I agree - make the effort with the language and get involved. It seems to make a difference with how us falangs are treated!

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I try but there is no ''give'', if you are slightly wrong , unlike English where one can be way off but we understand. I have zillions of Thai friends that understand they will never understand my efforts BUT we manage.

[Loptr]

This may come as a hammer to all the posters here: The term "Farang" is not meant in a DIRECT disrespectful way. The Farang is a foreigner and always will be. So it's not meant in a degoratory way to adress a farang as what he is: A foreigner (and alwyas will be). I admit: Hard for us to accept.

But remember: Thai's consider themselves "as a very special people" and are not in high esteem for countries and their people surrounding them and basically the rest of the world.

So, even if the farang is adressed by his real name, in their minds, he remains a "Farang" and the fact, that the same Farang has already invested 15 million Bht in Wife/Family will not change that.

The remedy: (at least as this name thing is concerned): Tell your surrounding Thai-Community, that we farangs find it very disrespectful, if we are not beeing adressed by our name (our culture, etc..). After explaining this to Thais sincerely, 99% of Thais will understand this and act accordingly in the future. The remaining 1% that not want to understad this: Run away from them!

But even if this name thing is cleared, just never forget that you will remain "the Farang". Why? Simply because you are not Thai and never will be, no matter what you do or not do!

What's there to do for a Farang? Only 2 avenues open: Accept this fact under the motto "TIT" or go into denial. No more, no less.

Cheers.

Err, I think that is the point. The OP didn't say that the family used the term farang in a derogatory fashion. It is more to the point that after Henry has been with this lady for 5 years, the family still refers to him as the foreigner. Not what I would hope for from the in laws.

[NeverSure]

I'm in the same boat as the OP.I'm also called the farang.Only when they need something do they call me by my name.Even the cousins two year old daughter calls me farang

Maybe they have trouble pronouncing your real name. Just adopt the nickname of ATM, and then you'll know what they really want anyway.

[mayday49]

how about Henly falang or falang Henly....or just realize that premative cultures have limitations....any scientist in the Family?

[khaowong1]

Henry, I'm a American Buddhist monk.. when I'm in Thailand, I'm called Phra Farang. At the moment, I'm living in a Thai Buddhist temple in Phoenix, Arizona. Guess what the Thai people call me when they come to the temple? you got it. Phra Farang. in my own country no less.

[Keith67]

Henry, if i were you when your g/f or her family members introduce new family members or new friends to you, forget the wai just hold your hand out for a good old fashioned handshake and say "hi i'm the farang". When your g/f questions why you did that, you have the golden opportunity to explain how she and her family have shown little respect for you for 5 years so why should you make any efforet to show any more respect to them.

If she makes excuses for them or fails to see the problem, your only option "Leave".