I'm Still Just The Falang

[mr3cho]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

Jinx

damn

[Berkshire]

If I was back in the USA and had a daughter with a foreign boyfriend who didnt even attempt to speak English I may lose some respect for him as well.

Ditto.

[Jingthing]

If I was back in the USA and had a daughter with a foreign boyfriend who didnt even attempt to speak English I may lose some respect for him as well.

Ditto.

Yeah but you'd still call him his NAME as soon as you knew his name. Right?!?

[Banzai99]

It's not so bad Henry, I'm called the <deleted>.

From your postings , deservedly so some might say

Yep, I am one of the few that don't slag Thais and Thailand off at every given opportunity whilst thinking Farangs and Farang countries are wonderful, and that Thailand should aspire to be the same as the very countries Farangs left to live here in Thailand.

No wonder many Thais think we are strange.

[HeavyDrinker]

No wonder many Thais think we are strange.

speak for yourself Pudding....

[Kilgore Trout]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

I know people in the us who have lived there for decades and can't speak English, mostly Spanish speakers, so not a valid point

[Morakot]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

I know people in the us who have lived there for decades and can't speak English, mostly Spanish speakers, so not a valid point

Not really valid, is it? Spanish a common language in the US. If you only speak Spanish in the US it's very likely that you only interact with Hispanic people.

By contrast, the OP frequently interacts with Thai speakers.

Edited April 22, 2013 by Morakot

[Berkshire]

If I was back in the USA and had a daughter with a foreign boyfriend who didnt even attempt to speak English I may lose some respect for him as well.

Ditto.

Yeah but you'd still call him his NAME as soon as you knew his name. Right?!?

Yes, absolutely...unless he was a total zero not worth my time to get to know or even talk to.

[Neeranam]

They will find it very disrespectful that you haven't learned their language. If you can't speak Thai you don't know what they'rw talking about. Maybe they are talking about guavas. Maybe they're talking about farang food.

ONce you adopt to their cultures and language, they will start calling you by your real name.

[MrHammer]

Ok, I didn't really answer the first time, cause the topic seemed to trollish.

But being called 'farang' after 5 years, heck even after 5 months, is an insult and a clear sign of disrespect. It means her parents, perhaps her too, does not even think of you as YOU, just the resident 'farang', most likely hanging around for the money. Of course, someone who likes and respect you would use your name or a nickname.

Sorry to be so blunt, but it is easier as I don't know you and someone really should have told you this.

You - most likely - deserve better, so get rid of the whole disrespectful isaan family and find a new one.

Oh, and learn Thai no?

[Morakot]

Maybe they are talking about guavas. Maybe they're talking about farang food.

Might turn out they own a guava orchard.

[phutoie2]

They will find it very disrespectful that you haven't learned their language. If you can't speak Thai you don't know what they'rw talking about. Maybe they are talking about guavas. Maybe they're talking about farang food.

ONce you adopt to their cultures and language, they will start calling you by your real name.

Adopt their culture and language, your joking yep, or did you mean adapt?. I speak reasonable Thai and many years back I used to fine any family member 5 Baht who still referred to me as a farang. Well not many paid up but I got my message across.

[Somtamnication]

I got into an argument with a rude Thai waitress in B'ham once. After a while, I called her a stupid falang. Felt good.

[Om85]

Henry, if after 5 years they refer to you as the farang, man, leave them and find another chick, because they obvioulsy dont like you, my name is difficult to remember for most of Thais, but after one week here all the members of my Thai family refered to me by my name, of course, adapted to the Thai pronunciation, I also would advise you to learn Thai, is not difficult to learn, and it will open the doors of this beautiful country to you

Edited April 22, 2013 by Om85

[MAJIC]

Take them all on holiday to Cambodia/Malaysia/Singapore and then start pointing at them and calling them 'foreigners'.....freaks em out to buggery that one does....

I doubt that would work.

I have been called many times a Farang in my own Country, by Thais in the UK, when I reciprocated,and told two of them,you are the Foreigner not me,because I am in my own Country,they denied it vehemently,and one said "I cannot be Foreigner,I am Thai"

I fear that no amount of explaination will change their set beliefs,farangs for the most part. we will remain! and you will often hear the word peppering their conversation. As the saying goes"ignorance is bliss"

Edited April 22, 2013 by MAJIC

[Travel2003]

Tell your GF to inform the family that you want to be called by your name.

If they do not, well, then you know for sure what status you have, and you must start considering what to do about it.

[kevvy]

It's not so bad Henry, I'm called the <deleted>.

i am known as the tight arse in my wife's family, at least we have arse in our names .

[Tywais]

How about this. Take some time and learn to write your name in Thai, shouldn't take long. Writing 'my name is' maybe a bit much. Next time you hear them refer to you as farang, get a pencil and paper and let them see you writing on it. Hand it over to them and point to yourself. Maybe a little loss of face for them, but sounds like they deserve it.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

They will find it very disrespectful that you haven't learned their language. If you can't speak Thai you don't know what they'rw talking about. Maybe they are talking about guavas. Maybe they're talking about farang food.

ONce you adopt to their cultures and language, they will start calling you by your real name.

Adopt their culture and language, your joking yep, or did you mean adapt?. I speak reasonable Thai and many years back I used to fine any family member 5 Baht who still referred to me as a farang. Well not many paid up but I got my message across.

Very rude of them and her.

Why not fine your gf 100bht every time one of her family call you the 'f' word.

"Darling, please give me 500bht to go shopping, certainly teerak, here is 500bht minus the 100 for your brother calling me F, minus the 100 for your brother calling me F, minus 100bht for the time you called me F when speaking with them, here is the remaining 200bht."

Another way would be to avoid any contact with her family. Don't let them in your home, don't go anywhere they are.

Edited April 22, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Vinny1967]

I'm in the same boat as the OP.I'm also called the farang.Only when they need something do they call me by my name.Even the cousins two year old daughter calls me farang

[ongchart]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

I don't really agree with that. I knew plenty of foreigners in the USA who couldn't really speak English. I had no problem calling a guy called Jose "Jose" and not "the Mexican" ... the moment he would tell me his name is Jose, in Spanish, no problem.

Yes but did any of that Jose sleep with your female family member for 5 years, and not know a word of English? Maybe after a few months Jose would be 'that Mexican'

[kjelljit]

Thanks for all your inputs.

Most non thai I've met who have lived here for many years can not speak Thai, I mean those older than 55.

Maybe the younger people who work here have learned Thai.

I as the most of the others can say some phrases, but it is not enough to converse with.

Maybe I'll take a course some day.

Anyway, thanks again, I'll talk to my girlfriend about this and we'll see what happens.

[NoshowJones]

I just get grunted at....

No wonder if your'e name means anything.

[pattayadingo]

G/f's mother and sister call me by name.

G/f does not call me by name at all. She always calls or refers to me as dahling.

[richard_smith237]

I'm not being an apologist: How respectful are you and have you been of them?

Do you offer her parents a Wai etc ? (this gets a little more complicated if you are not younger than her parents)

The reality is: Polite people would refer to you by name (in your presence or absence). By referring to you as 'Farang' there is little remaining doubt as to their level of respect for you.

Op: Why would your wife accept this behaviour from them? Is she equally as impolite and ignorant ? It really was your Wife's place to put stop to this level of ignorance right off the bat.

I know lots of Thai's - My Wife is from a huge family, they all refer to me by name (even in my absence - I know because I can sometimes hear when in another room). Thai friends kids all refer to me by name along with Uncle. There really is no excuse or reasonable explanation for referring to the Op as farang.

The only occasions I am aware of when the 'Farang' word is used in association with me is when I am visiting someones house and their Mother / Wife etc would ask if I am OK with Thai food or would I prefer some Farang food !!

There is no place in Thai culture for use of Farang in place of someones name - It is simple ignorance and disrespect, there really is nothing more to it.

Edited April 22, 2013 by richard_smith237

[Kilgore Trout]

Did you say that you've been living here for 5 years and also do not speak Thai? It might be time to start learning (more) Thai. Imagine living in, say, America for 5 years and not being able to speak english. Imagine all the flack you would get from Americans. Just saying.

I like the idea of adopting a Thai nickname though.

I know people in the us who have lived there for decades and can't speak English, mostly Spanish speakers, so not a valid point

Not really valid, is it? Spanish a common language in the US. If you only speak Spanish in the US it's very likely that you only interact with Hispanic people.

By contrast, the OP frequently interacts with Thai speakers.

Of course they interact with English speakers, they go to stores, their bosses are all english speakers, same as jingthing, they know all of about 10 words and pronounce them badly.

So again, not a valid point.

[DiamondKing]

Maybe the only time they bring up "farang" is when they're saying "Why can't that idiot farang learn to speak even some modicum of Thai after being in Thailand for 5+ freakin years??"

I have been here 7 years and dont speak thai and have a thai wife family and none of them refer to me as farang they use my name when they are talking about me to each other so I think the OP's family is being disrespectful to him.

As for those that will say after 7 years I should speak Thai maybe so Im just not good at languages I can get by in thai but don't speak fluently and probably never will and my family are ok with that its not an issue.

[HeijoshinCool]

Too bad your name isn't Manry.

[FWIW]

Maybe it just me, but I am seldom (if ever) refered to by just name. Most of the family (excluding parents) refer to me as "loong", or if addressing me may say "loong FWIW", the missus calls me by name, but refers to me (to family) as loong or loong FWIW (there is an age gap, but not enormous!). The junior colleagues at work also refer amongst themselves to me as "loong", but not to my face!

Nobody I know refers to me as "farang", and for OP, it may not be a sign of intentional, deliberate rudeness, but I would mark it down as a definite sign of distance at the very least. How does your missus refer to you - especially when talking about you? Does she use "P'name" or just "name" - or even worse, does she refer to you as "farang"? If the latter, well, you know where you stand.

[transam]

Maybe it just me, but I am seldom (if ever) refered to by just name. Most of the family (excluding parents) refer to me as "loong", or if addressing me may say "loong FWIW", the missus calls me by name, but refers to me (to family) as loong or loong FWIW (there is an age gap, but not enormous!). The junior colleagues at work also refer amongst themselves to me as "loong", but not to my face!

Nobody I know refers to me as "farang", and for OP, it may not be a sign of intentional, deliberate rudeness, but I would mark it down as a definite sign of distance at the very least. How does your missus refer to you - especially when talking about you? Does she use "P'name" or just "name" - or even worse, does she refer to you as "farang"? If the latter, well, you know where you stand.

They've seen your todger. ................