Those Famous Last Words "she's Different"

[patongphil]

The Point of the OP is: Mine IS different.

Post of the week!

+1

[i claudius]

I feel the same way about men marrying bar girls as i do about gay's if it makes you happy ,no problem ,up to you ,as long as i don't have to watch or join in ,but the one thing that really surprises me is the number of men who pay their wives a monthly wage ,why? is she your wife or do you rent her? that i really do not understand .

[DLock]

OP, you broke the 3 unwritten rules.

Never mention any details about your wife, and never criticize Bargirls or the fools that marry them.

The reasons are obvious. The response will be swift.

[IrishIvan]

Its quite simple. The answer is find yourself a nice girl away from the bars and just keep a couple of bar girls on the side. The sex does get a bit bland after a while with a long term partner. But having a couple of sneaky nights away i feel really virile. The tgf is happy because i give her what she needs again. A man cant eat steak everyday.

So I guess the answer to the OPs question is the reason why blokes fall for bar girls is sex. The answer to the problem is above

Edited May 2, 2013 by IrishIvan

[harryfrompattaya]

Where on earth did that come from? What has that got to do with my post or behind my post? Take that corn out of your bum and don't comment unless it is a constructive conversation

Listen poorman my rich Chinese wife is richer than yours and her father could beat up you misses My misses father is a very high General in the Chinese Army

[SteeleJoe]

Yes I'm sure we have all been here and had fun with the bar girl.

However I would never consider marrying one for the simple reason is there is something wrong with 'most' in the head.

They either gold diggers, cheats, and so on ,".

Just two weeks back I flew back to Phuket to help a mate where I could as his mrs stabbed him.

The thing that always puzzles me is why do men come back time and tims again and get the girl out of the bar thinking they can make her "normal", no I'm not saying its impossible and of you admit to your self you would probably not take her home to the family and tell them where you found her.

Why do men contribute a monthly salary? Confuses me if she is your gf then why pay her?, or if not paying her why allow her to sit around doing nothing and having everything paid for.

My wife strongly agrees on this . Openly admits its shameful and uses her Chinese passport when we can, travelling abroad as she now sees Thailand's bad image and at first it upset her now she is ashamed in some ways having a conversation and then the person states oh yeah bar girls, and so on rather than things like beautiful country bla bla which she likes to hear and thought of Thailand previously.

Admittedly never setting foot in the bar scene till we moved to Phuket from bkk she struggled to make new friends as people struggled on conversations or intelligence matching I can only submise, being asked by friends gfs how much she got a month completely shocked her as well.

Admittedly my bank is her bank and vice verser, but she never realised that foreigners would pay for the company of gfs ECt , she does laugh at what she calls foolish farang, which when you think about it she is right, there and many foreigners having their pants pulled down all the time.

Edited May 2, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[richard_smith237]

OK... so it does read like a 'look at me' post... however, once we have risen above the Ops self congratulatory 'I didn't screw up where so many have' attitude the points he makes are quite valid...

Whether or not people agree with the BG culture or not is a moot point and the subject of numerous other topics.

The point the Op seems to be making is why would a guy choose a bar girl when the women involved in the industry are more likely to have a distorted moral compass and a higher probability of imbalanced emotions when compared to their counterparts who have sought what most would consider more morally acceptable employment.

Why do some who are more tolerant of their significant others choice of employment believe that they are the one to divorce from the general norm?

The only explanation I have is that some guys are simply not exposed to the 'other side' therefore the only options available to them are a specific pool of ladies many would consider (rightly or wrongly so) un-touchable when considering a relationship.

So, it really could be a case of the fact that men are too lazy to spend much effort looking beyond their immediate surroundings...

[SteeleJoe]

OK... so it does read like a 'look at me' post... however, once we have risen above the Ops self congratulatory 'I didn't screw up where so many have' attitude the points he makes are quite valid...

Whether or not people agree with the BG culture or not is a moot point and the subject of numerous other topics.

The point the Op seems to be making is why would a guy choose a bar girl when the women involved in the industry are more likely to have a distorted moral compass and a higher probability of imbalanced emotions when compared to their counterparts who have sought what most would consider more morally acceptable employment.

Why do some who are more tolerant of their significant others choice of employment believe that they are the one to divorce from the general norm?

The only explanation I have is that some guys are simply not exposed to the 'other side' therefore the only options available to them are a specific pool of ladies many would consider (rightly or wrongly so) un-touchable when considering a relationship.

So, it really could be a case of the fact that men are too lazy to spend much effort looking beyond their immediate surroundings...

Agreed.

[brewsterbudgen]

My views on this topic are changing.

I used to believe that 90% of the bargirls are uneducated single women from a poor region with one or more children. They were forced to go to Pattaya (or another sex-tourist destination), because they had to send money to their family that takes care of their children. So, they basically had no option.

Today, things are changing. The average income of a factory worker in this area is well above 10000B /month. So, there's an alternative for those women, still they choose to go to work in a bar.

Today, I believe that most women working in the bars really choose for this option or were sent their by their bad family. So, today I think the chances are extremely small you'll be able to meet a good girl in a bar that just has been unlucky in life.

If a good friend would fall a love with a bargirl, I would warn him, even though I know it's not nice to be judgemental.

The reason why foreigners fall in love with bargirls is pretty obvious: it's this kind of women they are most likely to meet and the women are trained in deception.

I wouldn't call these foreigners stupid, I think naive might be a better word.

As successful and popular bargirls can make up to 100,000 baht a month, it's not really surprising that it's preferable to working in a factory for 10,000! And if you really believe that all bargirls are "trained in deception" yet non-bargirls don't deceive, I would say it's you that is being naive!

[Jayroo]

"...but she never realised that foreigners would pay for the company of gfs ECt..."

BS

you beat me to it. She's either the most ignorant woman in Thailand or she's playing him.

[Jayroo]

Blimey .

No I did not state I was a higher being!

No I did not state I was better off!

No I did not slate every bar or bar girl off

I stated facts .

As in bs my mrs not know , no she never saw that side of Thailand admittedly from a sheltered life and going straight in to a job in Bangkok PBS , she knew it existed but not so open,

But the post was not about me it was about why do foreign men continue to follow the trend , day after day - I've lost everything , she took it all, or I love her mean while she is screwing bob next door posts

Wake up smell the coffee , not a dig at any one but surely this must be open in public . And people then don't give their hearts with their wallets like they do in 2 weeks - <deleted> me I met a chap yesterday at central who is engaged after a week! Love of his life bla bla - mug was what I thought, agree or disagree it would be frowned upon at home, certainly not done so why out here ?

OMG you do realize this happens all over the world, have you ever heard or alimony? where men lose their houses etc to their ex wives. This happens more in the West than in Asia. You need to wake up!

Edited May 2, 2013 by Jayroo

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Whenever anyone tells me "my wife is different", I always hope they are right.

Who the wife is/was, Thai bar-girl, American schoolteacher, English office worker, doesn't matter.

Many of them are paid a wage for being the wife, many take the house when they leave.

Edited May 2, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Soutpeel]

First there is a gap between thai-chinese and bar girls education. I haven't (yet) seen any thai chinese girls working in a bar or in a gogo and would be a shame for them and the family. I won't even mention the fact to get some money back to the village because their spread their legs.

Expect some heavy fire back in the answers here since most of people here have their bar or gogo or freelance girl experience.

The long term relationship I saw around me with bar girls can be count on the fingers of 1 hand so far. There are some success stories but at what price... Price of monthly "rent" of affection services lead to a dead end in general. And it would in most countries.

It was funny to start to see the comment in the people who replied who consider Thai women either as working girls or Hiso. Hiso is a low class Jetset. All chinese are not rich but have different values and moral.

I totally agree with the fact that Thai-Chinese women are more interesting, more educated, more traditional, more attractive and more business oriented.

Glad to hear an happy couple story!

You have obviously led a very sheltered life in Thailand and obviously never been to China either...so based on your myopic generalisations you are suggesting there are no educated hookers in China either ?

How would know there are no Thai/Chinese girls working in A-go go's or bars..when visting such establishments have you asked the young ladies concerned to show you their passports, enquired as to there family historys ? or are you basing your insightful opinion solely on whether someone looks Thai/chinese ?

Go back under your rock..

[Soutpeel]

Where on earth did that come from? What has that got to do with my post or behind my post? Take that corn out of your bum and don't comment unless it is a constructive conversation

Listen poorman my rich Chinese wife is richer than yours and her father could beat up you misses My misses father is a very high General in the Chinese Army

Well mine has a double doctorate in nuclear physics..and her father is a general also and I met her while I was a body guard to said general during my leave from the SAS...so there...

[Soutpeel]

My views on this topic are changing.

I used to believe that 90% of the bargirls are uneducated single women from a poor region with one or more children. They were forced to go to Pattaya (or another sex-tourist destination), because they had to send money to their family that takes care of their children. So, they basically had no option.

Today, things are changing. The average income of a factory worker in this area is well above 10000B /month. So, there's an alternative for those women, still they choose to go to work in a bar.

Today, I believe that most women working in the bars really choose for this option or were sent their by their bad family. So, today I think the chances are extremely small you'll be able to meet a good girl in a bar that just has been unlucky in life.

If a good friend would fall a love with a bargirl, I would warn him, even though I know it's not nice to be judgemental.

The reason why foreigners fall in love with bargirls is pretty obvious: it's this kind of women they are most likely to meet and the women are trained in deception.

I wouldn't call these foreigners stupid, I think naive might be a better word.

As successful and popular bargirls can make up to 100,000 baht a month, it's not really surprising that it's preferable to working in a factory for 10,000! And if you really believe that all bargirls are "trained in deception" yet non-bargirls don't deceive, I would say it's you that is being naive!

Some of up-market girls around BKK working in certain establishments (guess they are not BG's in the classical Pattaya sense) are pulling between THB 150k -200k/m and they are certainly well educated and some per the silly classifcation put forward here would be classed as Thai/Chinese....or so I have been told of course...

[kevvy]

why do many westerners think all westerners get bar girls . There are hundreds of men out there who come for love where they find outside the bar trade ... i have never had a bar girl

[maxme]

Though I think the OP could have rephrased... "a lot" in his initial post and I do get the point he is trying to make, it's actually fun to see that who gets hurt by this post. First the ones who don´t have a Sino-Thai wife start flaming, then the ones who do have begin with theirs.

I´m starting to think that the expats here have fallen for the same racial culture, which some here claim doesn´t even exist.

Fact is, not all brown-tanned girls are bar girls, some are educated and have even better salaries than people I know back in the west. Fact, not all Sino-Thai are rich or even educated AND some even become prosititues.

There, I've said it, now go ahead, do you worst for going against you both.

[Eesat]

I find it amazing that people on here seem to have bought into the Thai urban legend that all Chinese people are rich business men with millions in the bank!They have the biggest population on earth and Shanghai or Beijing are no different to Bangkok,they're are many,many poor Chinese everywhere!
It's like the posters like the OP spout their nonsense believing they are speaking to the very insular and xenophobic locals,who can't even point out their own country on a map!
Any Westerner living here is by definition a world-weary traveller and knows such stereotyping to be so far wide of the mark as to be comical.I find it all very strange and can only assume they pick up on their bargirl partner's gossiping to their friends and family and copy it,assuming it will impress Thai Visa readers as much as Noi from the Soi (4/Cowboy) on her nightshift!

[Eesat]

Where on earth did that come from? What has that got to do with my post or behind my post? Take that corn out of your bum and don't comment unless it is a constructive conversation

Listen poorman my rich Chinese wife is richer than yours and her father could beat up you misses My misses father is a very high General in the Chinese Army

Well mine has a double doctorate in nuclear physics..and her father is a general also and I met her while I was a body guard to said general during my leave from the SAS...so there...

Mine is Stephen Hawking's Luk Kreung!

[Soutpeel]

I find it amazing that people on here seem to have bought into the Thai urban legend that all Chinese people are rich business men with millions in the bank!They have the biggest population on earth and Shanghai or Beijing are no different to Bangkok,they're are many,many poor Chinese everywhere!

Lets explore this Thai urban legend a little further how many so-called Thai/Chinese actually have the passport or even have living relatives in China ?...or is the assumptions of TV finest based solely on how some one looks ?...If they dont have a Chinese passport and only have a Thai passport they are Thai...

based on the distorted logic by TV's finest... I can call myself..British/SA/Irish/Norwegian/Swedish/Danish and Italian...

[richard_smith237]

I find it amazing that people on here seem to have bought into the Thai urban legend that all Chinese people are rich business men with millions in the bank!They have the biggest population on earth and Shanghai or Beijing are no different to Bangkok,they're are many,many poor Chinese everywhere!

Lets explore this Thai urban legend a little further how many so-called Thai/Chinese actually have the passport or even have living relatives in China ?...or is the assumptions of TV finest based solely on how some one looks ?...If they dont have a Chinese passport and only have a Thai passport they are Thai...

based on the distorted logic by TV's finest... I can call myself..British/SA/Irish/Norwegian/Swedish/Danish and Italian...

An Indian born in the UK, with a British Passport is still considered of Indian Ethnicity.

Those Thai's who's Parents or Grandparents were born in China are considered of Chinese Ethnicity.

So your argument if flawed....

However, the whole reason for this discussion in the first place is also based on flawed logic. Thai, Chinese, Thai-Chinese; it really makes little difference, it can be readily observed that the morality of any of these ethnicities is equally varied, as with any other Ethnic group in any country.

When generalising, it can be said that education: i.e. Schooling, moral standing etc and the ability to secure economically sound employment is the main factor in what a woman may choose to do and (on topic) how different she will be than the others !. It can be assumed that certain 'groups' have less opportunity and thus are faced with the more harsh and stark realities of life, whereas others can readily squander their opportunities for fast income....

There are no hard and fast rules, however the generalisations while not fit-for-all have been (rightly or wrongly) recognised for a reason.

[BB1955]

My wife and I share whats hers is mine and whats mine is hers . Our names are both on the bank accounts our spending money we place in a box in the kitchen . It works for us . I know quite a few men that pay there wife / girlfriend a salary nothing wrong with that if it works for them . If your going to get taken to the cleaners its going to happen either way . And it might not be an ex bar girl that washes your pockets dry .... How many here complain about our ex wives back home wearing them out ..

[maccaroni man]

IMO all Thai women are same same but different

[charlieboz]

Phuket is different as well; when I lived there you saw a lot more of the bar girl relationships than I do in BKK. Is that maybe what is amusing to you OP?

[Soutpeel]

An Indian born in the UK, with a British Passport is still considered of Indian Ethnicity.

Those Thai's who's Parents or Grandparents were born in China are considered of Chinese Ethnicity.

So your argument if flawed....

Fair point..but let me respond saying this...I work with quite a few people who by TV's logic would classify them as Thai/Chinese and one or two do actually speak a little Mandarin and some do have living relatives in China, but in all these years I have worked with them, I have never once heard them refer to themselves as Thai/Chinese....they refer to themselves as Thai and Thai only.

So my point would be this...who has come up with this term Thai/Chinese, The Farangs on TV or those people themselves ? as some of those people may be quite offended that its being suggested they are something "less" than 100% Thai, given the strong nationalistic sentiments in Thailand and the fact that for the most part "foreigners" are "frowned" upon

[Soutpeel]

My wife and I share whats hers is mine and whats mine is hers . Our names are both on the bank accounts our spending money we place in a box in the kitchen . It works for us . I know quite a few men that pay there wife / girlfriend a salary nothing wrong with that if it works for them . If your going to get taken to the cleaners its going to happen either way . And it might not be an ex bar girl that washes your pockets dry .... How many here complain about our ex wives back home wearing them out ..

He is my spin on your post and nothing to do with your wife being Thai...ok you share things..but one assumes you do have a back up plan..just in case something does go pear-shaped ?...not suggesting it will, but one hopes you do just in case..please dont respond by saying it will never happen

[uptheos]

My wife and I share whats hers is mine and whats mine is hers . Our names are both on the bank accounts our spending money we place in a box in the kitchen . It works for us . I know quite a few men that pay there wife / girlfriend a salary nothing wrong with that if it works for them . If your going to get taken to the cleaners its going to happen either way . And it might not be an ex bar girl that washes your pockets dry .... How many here complain about our ex wives back home wearing them out ..

Ex wives back home, is one of the reasons many are here!

[SteeleJoe]

Fair point..but let me respond saying this...I work with quite a few people who by TV's logic would classify them as Thai/Chinese and one or two do actually speak a little Mandarin and some do have living relatives in China, but in all these years I have worked with them, I have never once heard them refer to themselves as Thai/Chinese....they refer to themselves as Thai and Thai only.So my point would be this...who has come up with this term Thai/Chinese, The Farangs on TV or those people themselves ? as some of those people may be quite offended that its being suggested they are something "less" than 100% Thai, given the strong nationalistic sentiments in Thailand and the fact that for the most part "foreigners" are "frowned" upon

From decades of association with "Chinese Thais" to varying extents (friends, GFs, associates/colleagues, neighbors), I know it is common for Thais of Chinese descent to refer to themselves - in Thai - as Chinese, while also considering themselves 100% Thai nationals. Thais of Tai descent (if you can find one) also call them Chinese - in Thai - while still considering them 100% Thai citizens.

I mostly agree with your main point though.

Edited May 2, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[Billy The Kid]

But mine is ok, she tells me she worked as a freelancer earning great money.... Must be journalist is she ?

[maxme]

My wife and I share whats hers is mine and whats mine is hers . Our names are both on the bank accounts our spending money we place in a box in the kitchen . It works for us . I know quite a few men that pay there wife / girlfriend a salary nothing wrong with that if it works for them . If your going to get taken to the cleaners its going to happen either way . And it might not be an ex bar girl that washes your pockets dry .... How many here complain about our ex wives back home wearing them out ..

Ex wives back home, is one of the reasons many are here!

Then I guess I´m in the minority.