Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[Johnniey]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different. Fair enough but please be honest about it.

-----------------

When I worked in Saudi Arabia in the 1980's I had an American friend who was in his 60's then.

His wife was Thai and she was about 25 years old.

Just about everyone assumed she was a bargirl who married him for his money.

I happen to know the true story.

When my friend was sent by the company he worked for to Thailand he was about 50 at that time.

He ran their office in Bangkok for about 5 years before they brought him back to take over a contract they had obtained in Saudi Arabia.

The Thai woman he married was in fact, his secretary when he met her, and because he spoke only limited Thai she basically ran his office,

She was in fact a very smart Thai woman and had graduated from a Thai business college with a business degree, During his years in Thailand she went back to that same Thai business school as a part time student and while still working as his secretary she earned a MBA degree.

He retired in his early 60's and bought a condo, a rather expensive one, in Bangkok where he lived with his Thai wife.

She invested his money and at one time she owned two office buildings in Bangkok.

He passed away peacefully about 1995 or so, and left much of his wealth to her.

She became the CEO of a Thai company and on her own became quite wealthy.

She left Thailand and moved her company to Hong Kong where as far as I know she still is living.

She was a very smart Thai woman, and as I said never was a bargirl like many people assumed.

so what. We all know Thai women who are educated. Young educated ones even may farang but not ones old enough to be their father unless they are rich.

[weecree]

Using terms like whore and prostitute is not very tactful, but as long

as the question clearly relates to the past, I don't think it's an

unreasonable one or one to get angry about, coming from a tourist.

So if you went to the US or UK, maybe China or Japan as a tourist, met a stranger, got talking, had a couple of drinks, you would ask him if his wife was a former prostitute would you. In your opinion a reasonable question???

Go to Glasgow as a tourist and try it our in any pub or bar. Good luck with your research.

No it wouldn't be a reasonable question in Scotland, as I doubt it happens very often. But in Thailand it's very common, so not an unreasonable question.

If I went to a bar in Scotland, I wouldn't ask a random stranger if they were Protestant or Catholic, and I wouldn't ask if they supported Celtic or if they supported Rangers. Not because I think that any of those are unlikely, but because I would rather not upset people, and if I was genuinely interested, I could work my way round to the question in a polite manner without causing offence or provoking violence. I expect tourists in this country to behave with the same minimal tact and discretion.

SC

I think thats mabyes a bit over tactful. Celtic fan. Rangers arent even in the same division as us any more <snigger>... Now, ask them what part of England theyre from and it might be different. (it wont be, scottish people arent that oversensitive: politics, religion and class arent really taboo subects).

[jbrain]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Like marriages between most people in this world? Have a look here, research from the US says that people have love relationships for all sorts of reasons. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200007/whats-your-love-story

Nope. Marriages between first-world elderly affluent men and often uneducated much younger ladies from less developed countries are certainly something different. Fair enough but please be honest about it.

-----------------

When I worked in Saudi Arabia in the 1980's I had an American friend who was in his 60's then.

His wife was Thai and she was about 25 years old.

Just about everyone assumed she was a bargirl who married him for his money.

I happen to know the true story.

When my friend was sent by the company he worked for to Thailand he was about 50 at that time.

He ran their office in Bangkok for about 5 years before they brought him back to take over a contract they had obtained in Saudi Arabia.

The Thai woman he married was in fact, his secretary when he met her, and because he spoke only limited Thai she basically ran his office,

She was in fact a very smart Thai woman and had graduated from a Thai business college with a business degree, During his years in Thailand she went back to that same Thai business school as a part time student and while still working as his secretary she earned a MBA degree.

He retired in his early 60's and bought a condo, a rather expensive one, in Bangkok where he lived with his Thai wife.

She invested his money and at one time she owned two office buildings in Bangkok.

He passed away peacefully about 1995 or so, and left much of his wealth to her.

She became the CEO of a Thai company and on her own became quite wealthy.

She left Thailand and moved her company to Hong Kong where as far as I know she still is living.

She was a very smart Thai woman, and as I said never was a bargirl like many people assumed.

If the dates and ages in your post are correct, then she must have been under 15 years of age when he married her and she ran his office and at the same time got a MBA.

Quite remarkable.

Edited May 5, 2013 by jbrain

[SteeleJoe]

If the dates and ages in your post are correct, then she must have been under 15 years of age when he married her and she ran his office and at the same time got a MBA.

Quite remarkable.

Oops...

EDIT: I didn't mean to post two pictures but can't seem to remove them. Totally spoiled the brilliant and hilarious joke...

Edited May 5, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[KarenBravo]

It must be galling and intolerable for those smug, Thaivisa members that are married to Thai Chinese wives with a Bsc and an MA that all that status goes down the toilet in the eyes of the average westerner (and probably most Thais), especially if you take her to Europe.

Instantly branded as Mr. Loser and Mrs Prossy.

[Thereisnoif]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

[maxme]

It must be galling and intolerable for those smug, Thaivisa members that are married to Thai Chinese wives with a Bsc and an MA that all that status goes down the toilet in the eyes of the average westerner (and probably most Thais), especially if you take her to Europe.

Instantly branded as Mr. Loser and Mrs Prossy.

I think the wife being dark-skinned would suffice when it comes to European prejudice.

[KarenBravo]

It must be galling and intolerable for those smug, Thaivisa members that are married to Thai Chinese wives with a Bsc and an MA that all that status goes down the toilet in the eyes of the average westerner (and probably most Thais), especially if you take her to Europe.

Instantly branded as Mr. Loser and Mrs Prossy.

I think the wife being dark-skinned would suffice when it comes to European prejudice.

Not so much with young people and in the big cities. Most western countries now have a sizable citizenry that have roots elsewhere and many inter-marry.

I garuentee that if you marry an Asian lady, if she is Singaporean or Indonesian, the same attitude won't apply. It's Thais that are equated with the sex industry and mail-order brides and to a lesser extent, Filipinas.

[reenatinnakor]

Reading all these comments, especially the defensive ones, is really funny.....Confucius once said "you can't change what's happened before, just try and do good from now". Who gives a shit what other people think about your wife? You're the one that has to spend the rest of your life with them.

There will always be stereotypes in this world, for me I miss the fat slag peroxide bitch fights outside any bar in Guildford on a Friday night. Short skirts, heels, belly sticking out fighting over their boyfriend Darren....quality shit I can't find in Thailand. When I drive through Moss Side or East Ham automatically I would make sure my car doors are locked....when I walk home at night in Reading I'm shit scared I will always look behind me....all this shit I don't have to suffer in Asia. So if people think our wive or gf is a former bargirl?? So what? Thailand and Philippines is renowned for it....if a tourist goes to Pattaya and Angeles City and only these cities then off course they will think what they think. You can't change stereotypes, just be happy with what you got and silently smirk at what they haven't got. Peace.

[maxme]

It must be galling and intolerable for those smug, Thaivisa members that are married to Thai Chinese wives with a Bsc and an MA that all that status goes down the toilet in the eyes of the average westerner (and probably most Thais), especially if you take her to Europe.

Instantly branded as Mr. Loser and Mrs Prossy.

I think the wife being dark-skinned would suffice when it comes to European prejudice.

Not so much with young people and in the big cities. Most western countries now have a sizable citizenry that have roots elsewhere and many inter-marry.

I garuentee that if you marry an Asian lady, if she is Singaporean or Indonesian, the same attitude won't apply. It's Thais that are equated with the sex industry and mail-order brides and to a lesser extent, Filipinas.

That depends on where in Europe. I wouldn´t say the UK is Europe, not saying that you meant that but in my experience, a lot of Brits refer that way.

[deesamui]

I live in Pattaya. My wife was NEVER a bargirl. And she was a virgin. Seriously. Isn't that amazing? They're not all xxxxxx.

man, she must be 14 yo, you better watch it

[indyuk]

We need to remember the rubish the is presented on TV about Thailand, particularly that aired by the BBCin the UK on numerous ocasions . The Result being that in the UK and Australia modt of the male population assume that if your wife is Thai she must be a xxxxx. If your wife is a former bar girl I wish you both eteranal happiness. Since I respect all women this is none of our business anyway. I suggest that you all follow my lead and stop judging women by their past.

Edited May 5, 2013 by metisdead

[richard_smith237]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Thai's are very adept a judging the status of their compatriots.... The above is true if you married a hooker, 99% will recognise that. However, if you are one of the many Westerners who have met and married / dating someone of a more widely acceptable profession the Thai's around you will also recognise that.

It is the Westerners status that Thai's sometimes find difficulty in assessing when pegging us against their status.

Once back in our respective Western countries, for the most part if the couple don't look oddly placed they simply blend in as another facet of the modern multicultural world.

It is only when some couples are in tourist destinations in Thailand that some may make a false judgement, this is usually based on their limited experience but also on how the couple themselves are presented. High Heels and hot-pants in any country is going to draw and opinion from onlookers.

You're significant other may be a respectable lady, but if she's dressed like a.........

[Stradavarius37]

It must be galling and intolerable for those smug, Thaivisa members that are married to Thai Chinese wives with a Bsc and an MA that all that status goes down the toilet in the eyes of the average westerner (and probably most Thais), especially if you take her to Europe.Instantly branded as Mr. Loser and Mrs Prossy.

It is, it really is. I demand you apologize.!

[JeffreyWitty]

To the OP:

Get used to this. I often find tourists have a far more narrow view of the world. This holds true for every country. I live/work in South Korea currently - the Thais come over here in droves and assume (incorrectly) that Korea is exactly how its portrayed on the Korean drama shows on TV. When they arrive, they find out the local folks over here treat them like dirt (as they do most foreigners when first meeting them) and that Korea is not all glamor and glitz.

HOWEVER, the more time tourists spend in a area, the more there eyes open up.

I wouldn't take offence at someone's ignorance at a bar. Just let them know there are other realities than what the read about on the internet.

[maccaroni man]

If I was asked if my wife was a pro I'd say I'm not sure, was yours?

[brewsterbudgen]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Yes, hi-so Thais can be very prejudiced and judgmental, not to mention racist when it comes to people from Isaan. It's not pleasant, it's very ignorant and also rather sad that in this day and age people still think like this.

[somtampet]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Yes, hi-so Thais can be very prejudiced and judgmental, not to mention racist when it comes to people from Isaan. It's not pleasant, it's very ignorant and also rather sad that in this day and age people still think like this.

Hi-so thais are very obnoxious generaly,and certainly very racist

[StreetCowboy]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Yes, hi-so Thais can be very prejudiced and judgmental, not to mention racist when it comes to people from Isaan. It's not pleasant, it's very ignorant and also rather sad that in this day and age people still think like this.

Hi-so thais are very obnoxious generaly,and certainly very racist

And, to a man, they stereotype.

[richard_smith237]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Yes, hi-so Thais can be very prejudiced and judgmental, not to mention racist when it comes to people from Isaan. It's not pleasant, it's very ignorant and also rather sad that in this day and age people still think like this.

Hi-so thais are very obnoxious generaly,and certainly very racist

Who's judgemental ?

[Neeranam]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Yes, hi-so Thais can be very prejudiced and judgmental, not to mention racist when it comes to people from Isaan. It's not pleasant, it's very ignorant and also rather sad that in this day and age people still think like this.

Hi-so thais are very obnoxious generaly,and certainly very racist

I always wonder when I hear Westerners talk of Hi-So Thais if they actually know any unless they are members of certain clubs like RBSC etc.

[StreetCowboy]

Not all tourist think this way, but 99% of Thai people will think that you married a hooker , and the higher you go into the Thai society, the most prevalent this judgement will be .

Yes, hi-so Thais can be very prejudiced and judgmental, not to mention racist when it comes to people from Isaan. It's not pleasant, it's very ignorant and also rather sad that in this day and age people still think like this.

Hi-so thais are very obnoxious generaly,and certainly very racist

I always wonder when I hear Westerners talk of Hi-So Thais if they actually know any unless they are members of certain clubs like RBSC etc.

Why would we associate with people like that?

[Neeranam]

Reading all these comments, especially the defensive ones, is really funny.....Confucius once said "you can't change what's happened before, just try and do good from now". Who gives a shit what other people think about your wife? You're the one that has to spend the rest of your life with them.

....if a tourist goes to Pattaya and Angeles City and only these cities then off course they will think what they think.

I care what others think or say about my wife. Isn't it a husband responsibility to do so?

Like I said in the OP, if I lived in either of these cities, then I suppose it would be a fair question. Kinda like a professional poker player asking in Las Vegas if your wife had ever worked in a casino.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Neeranam

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Most Thais make American rednecks seem like bleeding heart liberals.

I seriously doubt any 'hi-so' would even talk to foreigners of the type that frequent this forum.

(excluding those forum members who are diplomats, ceos of multi-nationals, members of governments and multi-millionaires)

[Neeranam]

Why would we associate with people like that?

Maybe if you're a pensioner with a liking of bowls. I took my father there once as he is crazy about lawn bowls. I have a couple of friends who can sign others in. Edited May 6, 2013 by Neeranam

[StreetCowboy]

Why would we associate with people like that?

Maybe if you're a pensioner with a liking of bowls. I took my father there once as he is crazy about lawn bowls.

It really doesn't get the television coverage it deserves, lawn bowling.

I did enjoy the curling world championships.

I'd have thought crown green bowling would be more popualar here, though it seems a more proletarian sport. Boules would seem more suited to the countryside and the climate, since it can be played on any patch of waste ground (in plentiful supply here) in front of a cafe selling Gaulois and red wine; OK, fair point...

SC

[SteeleJoe]

Most Thais make American rednecks seem like bleeding heart liberals.

I seriously doubt any 'hi-so' would even talk to foreigners of the type that frequent this forum.

(excluding those forum members who are diplomats, ceos of multi-nationals, members of governments and multi-millionaires)

Don't forget those of us who have worked for them! Sometimes they are forced to socialize with the lower echelons a bit and deign to acknowledge their existence...

Actually, it's simply not the case that the Thai elite are universally such xenophobes and snobs that they disdain all but the top tier of foreigners or always think horribly of those not at the top. I'm not about to get into a debate about something that can't be proven - and which I care so little about - but I will go on record as saying I have had enough experience (not a lot) as have a few people I know, to view things otherwise.

These are sophisticated people who have been educated abroad and spent a great deal of time in foriegn counties and have had a great deal of international influences in their lives.They are not all two dimensional caricatures that so many think they know of...

[Neeranam]

Why would we associate with people like that?

Maybe if you're a pensioner with a liking of bowls. I took my father there once as he is crazy about lawn bowls.

It really doesn't get the television coverage it deserves, lawn bowling.

I did enjoy the curling world championships.

I'd have thought crown green bowling would be more popualar here, though it seems a more proletarian sport. Boules would seem more suited to the countryside and the climate, since it can be played on any patch of waste ground (in plentiful supply here) in front of a cafe selling Gaulois and red wine; OK, fair point...

SC

I watched the Curling too and enjoyed it - playing curling on my Ipad is as close to I'll ever get to the real thing in this country.

[SteeleJoe]

Why would we associate with people like that?Maybe if you're a pensioner with a liking of bowls. I took my father there once as he is crazy about lawn bowls.It really doesn't get the television coverage it deserves, lawn bowling.I did enjoy the curling world championships.I'd have thought crown green bowling would be more popualar here, though it seems a more proletarian sport. Boules would seem more suited to the countryside and the climate, since it can be played on any patch of waste ground (in plentiful supply here) in front of a cafe selling Gaulois and red wine; OK, fair point...SC

The Queen Mother discovered Boules in Switzerland and introduced it and encouraged it here: Thais do play it - as you perhaps knew already.

[Neeranam]

Why would we associate with people like that?Maybe if you're a pensioner with a liking of bowls. I took my father there once as he is crazy about lawn bowls.It really doesn't get the television coverage it deserves, lawn bowling.I did enjoy the curling world championships.I'd have thought crown green bowling would be more popualar here, though it seems a more proletarian sport. Boules would seem more suited to the countryside and the climate, since it can be played on any patch of waste ground (in plentiful supply here) in front of a cafe selling Gaulois and red wine; OK, fair point...SC

The Queen Mother discovered Boules in Switzerland and introduced it and encouraged it here: Thais do play it - as you perhaps knew already.

Petanque is what it's referred to here.