Taking Your Woman For Granted........?

[Thakkar]

Perhaps a poll is in order for this thread. One that is not anonymous so we can ferret out the misogynists.

-snip-

See this thread for some real misogyny and make a list of some of the worst misogynists on TV. You'll need a long sheet of paper.

T

[shaggy1969]

I'm going to have to go against the general feel on this topic.

What the OP's friend did was bang out of order and just plain lazy of him,maybe he just wanted to show off in front of his friend.

I am not saying that asking your wife to get a beer for you is wrong, if she is in the same room .But come on guy's,calling her from upstairs when the fridge was only a few feet away is just wrong.

It made me smile to see that some posters defends the OP's friend by saying

" It's part of the culture for a woman to do this "

.... and

" didn't want to offend her by getting it myself "

Very convenient for you,accept this part of the Thai culture then accept all !!!

[true blue]

women like doing things for there men folk,its part of sharing.

[SteeleJoe]

Very convenient for you,accept this part of the Thai culture then accept all !!!

While I'm in agreement - as I said early on - with the opinion that the guy sounds like a real dighead, and his actions are just ugly regardless of what country he's in, I don't ENTIRELY dismiss a cultural component to some cases that might compare. Having said that...

You make an excellent point there.

[Loptr]

It's one thing for a spouse to want to care for you, cook for you, bear your children, clip your nails, etc and quite another to call her down from upstairs to get you a beer when you are 10 feet away.

[Loptr]

Perhaps a poll is in order for this thread. One that is not anonymous so we can ferret out the misogynists.

I wouldn't treat my dogs the way the man in the OP treated his wife. Of course my dogs can't reach the handle on the fridge anyway, so it's a moot point.

But if they could...

There would never be any beer in the fridge. I have German dogs.

[SteeleJoe]

It's one thing for a spouse to want to care for you, cook for you, bear your children, clip your nails, etc and quite another to call her down from upstairs to get you a beer when you are 10 feet away.

Absolutely. Summed that up nicely.

[Chittychangchang]

Similar experience, pommy guy tells his wife to do this and that, get beers for him while he sits not 5m away from fridge watching telly. He finishes a glass and she pours him another.

Then he says, how about some chips honey etc.

She just runs about and does as she is told.

Kind of primitive.

check out some of the Fosters beer adverts for primitive, lol.

To be fair the aussies are targeting the Brit consumer.

Edited May 9, 2013 by Chittychangchang

[David48]

To the OP ... did you ask your friends wife what she thought of her situation?

.

[PoodMaiDai]

Everyone has a place. If she is unhappy in hers, she can leave at any time. So can he.

[smokie36]

Beer is very important. Like a well ironed shirt.

One should be at the correct temperature....the other have no creases.

Smooth and cool....I perform both tasks myself and will always do so to my satisfaction.

[David48]

Beer is very important. Like a well ironed shirt.

One should be at the correct temperature....the other have no creases.

Smooth and cool....I perform both tasks myself and will always do so to my satisfaction.

Ditto ...

.

[enyaw]

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference

And the opposite of a partnership is? They are still together are they not.

[rene123]

I can understand what the OP was saying, but every relationship is different. None of us here can make a definitive reply not knowing all the details. Maybe the wife actually enjoyed attending to her husband. I know I would tell the guy to get his own damn beer. I know that Thai women feel it is their domain in taking care of the home. They don't want their husbands helping with the dishes and house work. They feel it means they are losing their control. Thai wives all want to feel important and worthwhile. The kitchen and house work is their domain. That is totally unlike the western way of thinking where a man might be happy in the kitchen.

[wellred]

I don't know why the OP is so surprised here. The story seems to describe your typical farang who failed to attract a women from their own country. The events which led to said farang concluding no farang women would ever want them was no doubt filled with similar stupid acts on his part. So farang moves to Thailand and bags a nice Thai lady... but still makes the same mistakes. Like I said not really surprising.

[Patron]

Years ago I was at my MIL'S home.My wife and sisters were all there and they made

sure my beer was never empty. But they overlooked me one time,so I went in the house

and got my own beer, not thinking anything about it.

When I came out and sat down on the patio and poured my fresh beer into the glass

all hell broke loose. MIL was yelling at my wife and sisters.

My wife came over and said "Don't make me have bad face,you need beer you tell

wife or sisters to get you beer...OK

Back in the states.."Honey get me a beer please"

GET IT YOURSELF

[Vinny1967]

To the OP ... did you ask your friends wife what she thought of her situation?

.

I never asked her about it.Judging by the look on her face,she wasn't too happy.I didn't want to get involved in some sort of domestic.

For all the people who are defending what my mate did.........here's how I see it.I know about thai culture,about the women having to look after the men etc.My other half gets angry with me sometimes for doing housework,or doing some shopping.I just feel guilty letting her do everything.She knows I don't like her doing everything for me and that some things I can do myself,but because of her upbringing,it does get to her sometimes.Maybe because of the way I was brought up,I like to do my bit around the house.Probably a clash of personality/culture.

I'm OK with the woman looking after the man.I understand it's thai culture.All I'm saying is that what my mate did was more of an abuse of power.It's not the first time I've seen it,and judging by some comments in this thread....it won't be the last.

[asiasurfer]

Strange. In my case that's somehow just the opposite. I don't receive any salary from my wife, but as yet I have to do anything my wife demands me to do. But I actually love to spoil her... Oh well, maybe I'm just doing something wrong...

[Keith67]

As i stated on another topic my wife recently bought a kareoke bar and as she was just starting i said i would pay for my beer the same as anybody else, the first night she opened i went in and sat down i ordered a beer and waited for it to be served, my wife pointed to the ice boxand said if you want a beer why you not get let my girls serve other customers, my reply was i am a customer and paying the same price as others why should i not get the same treatment.

I didn't want the girls to sit with me as they would earn no money tips and drinks wise but as a paying customer i expect to be treated no different to any other customer. I still get up and make small repairs if things break or if really busy i will give up my seat for her paying customers.

If your friend is paying her a wage as many ladies request maybe his thoughts are that she will become a kind of live in house keeper / servant does this make him wrong for expecting that or her wrong for demanding a wage?

[yourauntbob]

Surely it's okay if one is paying their 'wife' a set monthly 'salary'.

If you need to pay your wife a monthly salary then she is a wife in title only

[SteeleJoe]

If your friend is paying her a wage as many ladies request maybe his thoughts are that she will become a kind of live in house keeper / servant does this make him wrong for expecting that or her wrong for demanding a wage?

Both?

[Keith67]

Surely it's okay if one is paying their 'wife' a set monthly 'salary'.

If you need to pay your wife a monthly salary then she is a wife in title only

If your friend is paying her a wage as many ladies request maybe his thoughts are that she will become a kind of live in house keeper / servant does this make him wrong for expecting that or her wrong for demanding a wage?

Both?

My point exactly.......on both accounts.....

[willyumiii]

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

+5

If the wife is not complaining ,why should an outsider be? It's not like the friend beating up on the wife or something.

Mental abuse can be as damaging if not more damaging than physical abuse.

Some very sick, insecure men have found an outlet for their disease with submissive Asian women in Thailand.

No wonderthey can't make it in their own world where most women don't tolerate such abuse!

[robblok]

This is how many of the older generation think wives should be no wonder your getting some resistance here on Thaivisa. That is what they came for a woman that does what they say has no mind of her own and that they pay (else they can't keep her)

If a guy is to lazy to walk to a fridge or do any of the housework he is just a lazy sob or a dinosaur from a bygone area.. but there are many like that here on Thaivisa.

[Keith67]

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

+5

If the wife is not complaining ,why should an outsider be? It's not like the friend beating up on the wife or something.

Mental abuse can be as damaging if not more damaging than physical abuse.

Some very sick, insecure men have found an outlet for their disease with submissive Asian women in Thailand.

No wonderthey can't make it in their own world where most women don't tolerate such abuse!

You are joking right..........Thai women are absolute masters when it comes to mental abuse......

[Morden]

I see far too much disrespect of Thai wives and girlfriends by foreign partners. Much of it stems, I think, from, on the one hand, the reluctance of the women to enter into an argument and, on the other, the men not having a clue about how to conduct themselves in a relationship.

One case in particular involves a man who visits his girlfriend two or three times a year. For the duration of his stay, he complains to others about her and gives her a hard time over expenses that he has already agreed to cover. He denigrates her in front of other foreigners and we can see the pain in her face as she puts up with it. Her feelings for him override the hurt but that doesn't excuse his behaviour.

He and another frequently tell bedroom tales to others and I think that is about as disrespectful as one can get.

These men seem to have no idea how to treat their women as equals or with due respect.

My wife does a lot for me but I resist the temptation to be lazy. She's a natural worker and would run around all day for me if I asked or let her. I play my part by supporting her in things she can't do for herself. That's what partnerships are about are they not?

[willyumiii]

I can understand what the OP was saying, but every relationship is different. None of us here can make a definitive reply not knowing all the details. Maybe the wife actually enjoyed attending to her husband. I know I would tell the guy to get his own damn beer. I know that Thai women feel it is their domain in taking care of the home. They don't want their husbands helping with the dishes and house work. They feel it means they are losing their control. Thai wives all want to feel important and worthwhile. The kitchen and house work is their domain. That is totally unlike the western way of thinking where a man might be happy in , the kitchen.

My Thai wife paid for her university education by working on farms when she was very young. After graduating from the university, she worked in the business world and never really developed the domestic skills you would expect from a submissive Asian girl.

I, on the other hand, am a man who loves to cook and keep a clean and orderly home

I am more likely to bring her a cold drink, ( water or tea, doesn't drink spirits) then she is to bring one to me.

Sometimes I will spend all afternoon preparing a good dinner for her and my daughter to enjoy.

That's the way I like it.

That's the way I have it.

We are a happy Thai/Farang family!

So there!

Edited May 10, 2013 by willyumiii

[robblok]

I can understand what the OP was saying, but every relationship is different. None of us here can make a definitive reply not knowing all the details. Maybe the wife actually enjoyed attending to her husband. I know I would tell the guy to get his own damn beer. I know that Thai women feel it is their domain in taking care of the home. They don't want their husbands helping with the dishes and house work. They feel it means they are losing their control. Thai wives all want to feel important and worthwhile. The kitchen and house work is their domain. That is totally unlike the western way of thinking where a man might be happy in , the kitchen.

My Thai wife paid for her university education by working on farms when she was very young. After graduating from the university, she worked in the business world and never really developed the domestic skills you would expect from a submissive Asian girl.

I, on the other hand, am a man who loves to cook and keep a clean and orderly home

I am more likely to bring her a cold drink, ( water or tea, doesn't drink spirits) then she is to bring one to me.

Sometimes I will spend all afternoon preparing a good dinner for her and my daughter to enjoy.

That's the way I like it.

That's the way I have it.

We are a happy Thai/Farang family!

So there!

Same here got an educated girl who paid for her own education and works hard now. We just share what we do in the house though i have to admit she does most of the cleaning. I do my own cooking and shopping as she is working most of the time. I can wash my own clothes and stuff like that. I wonder how many guys can't even do stuff like cooking and washing clothes. I know most of my dad's generation can't so I guess that would make it a fair bit of people here.

Then again if she was free all day and i was working and paying for it all she could do more in the house. Kinda depends on the situation but if both are free both can take their share in the work.

[David48]

To the OP ... did you ask your friends wife what she thought of her situation?

.

I never asked her about it.Judging by the look on her face,she wasn't too happy.I didn't want to get involved in some sort of domestic.

Mate ... fair call ...

Just sometimes we assume without asking.

Body Language is a dead give-a-way and it appears she conveyed her dislike for this.

[akspace]

Perhaps a poll is in order for this thread. One that is not anonymous so we can ferret out the misogynists.

I wouldn't treat my dogs the way the man in the OP treated his wife. Of course my dogs can't reach the handle on the fridge anyway, so it's a moot point.

But if they could...

I've had a dog who would fetch beer it was quite easy to train him. First you need to tie a rope to the door handle, it makes it easier for a dog to open