Taking Your Woman For Granted........?

[norrona]

this isn't just Thailand that it happens, I know of 2 couples where she does absolutely everything...one of my mates is a bit like Jim Royle from the Royle family comedy show. I am from the UK.

to the OP, Thailand can be even worse for people recovering from depression....too much time on your hands to mull things over and the easiness of just getting on the beer, be careful and I wish you well in your recovery

[SteeleJoe]

I know thai men don't exactly treat their women well,but I expected more from the farang men.

That was a bigger mistake than lying.

Don't beat yourself up over it. And good luck on your recovery.

[Thakkar]

Mrs. T is a hefty woman. When I ask her to get me a beer, she drags the fridge over to my LazyBoy armchair and tells me to get it myself!

T

[Stradavarius37]

You shouldn't be surprised at the negative reactions to the OP, considering how many of them failed with equitable partnerships in their home countries. Most of them came here to buy women, one way or another.

[Songhua]

In my house it's, 'get up and turn the light off, make me a coffee, feed the dog' .... sure, there's a bit of grumbling and so forth but I do it anyway.

Edited May 9, 2013 by Songhua

[yourauntbob]

I am with the OP. If you want a paid servant, then get a paid servant. If you want a wife, then treat her like one. Its a matter of respect in my opinion, and you shouldnt be heavily involved with someone you dont respect.

The missus does a good job of taking care of me but i often reciprocate and would never do something like the OP has stated. If I did, she would never comply and an argument would ensue. She would argue I am a jerk and I would argue I am an a$$.

[yourauntbob]

In my house it's, 'get up and turn the light off, make me a coffee, feed the dog' .... sure, there's a bit of grumbling and so forth but I do it anyway.

+ 2

[Thakkar]

I remember reading a Yahoo question once where a woman had asked what she should say to her boyfriend who's always ordering her around with chores like, "bring me a sandwich, woman." She wanted suggestions for a good response when he did that. "What's a good comeback?" she asked.

The most "liked" answer was: "You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich!"

As for the OP's friend, one shouldn't even treat a maid this way, let alone a wife. Maybe the guy was just trying to show what a Big Swinging Richard he was. It's a sure sign he has a small willy. Did the guy also have a red sports car parked in the driveway? I bet he would've, if he could've afforded one.

T

Edited May 9, 2013 by Thakkar

[naboo]

I think its disgusting he has to ask for his beer, the wife should know.

[Keith67]

I am amazed at the negative responses here, not one person has thought there could be a reason for what he did, is his wife so desperate for a husband that she will allow this for no reason? I don't think so.

In all the time i have lived in Thailand and came here as a tourist i have never seen or known a Thai woman to put up with this kind of treatment from a farang husband, Thai husbands however are different.

We don't know the story or what happened previously to the OP arriving or what agreements the couple have, it is only assumed that he want's a slave or has a small dick.

I am not saying what he did is right or wrong just we don't know why he did it, if it is bothering the OP why not call him and have a talk with him about why he did it and why you left, what is the wort that can happen you end up no longer friends but that seems to be the case already if you don't.

To the OP good luck with your recovery it hope all goes well.

[Banzai99]

My wife has been taught that she does NOT wait on me, particularly in public.

And she gets a good thrashing if she forgets what she has been taught ?

[Vinny1967]

I am with the OP. If you want a paid servant, then get a paid servant. If you want a wife, then treat her like one. Its a matter of respect in my opinion, and you shouldnt be heavily involved with someone you dont respect.

I know for a fact that if I tried to do what he did with any Irish or UK woman,I'd be on the wrong end of a stiletto shoe.Seems like some people like to take advantage of the thai good nature.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

In a traditional Thai household, the women wait on the men.

For all you know, it is something she insisted on doing.

I used to mix with a very traditional family, the men didn't touch drinks bottles, all fetched and poured by the women.

If you dared to pour your own drink, everyone became very upset.

Different cultures and all that.

Vinney and AuntBob have it 100% wrong, in a Thai household, not allowing your women to serve you is a sign of disrespect.

Edited May 9, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[yourauntbob]

In a traditional Thai household, the women wait on the men.

For all you know, it is something she insisted on doing.

I used to mix with a very traditional family, the men didn't touch drinks bottles, all fetched and poured by the women.

If you dared to pour your own drink, everyone became very upset.

Different cultures and all that.

Vinney and AuntBob have it 100% wrong, in a Thai household, not allowing your women to serve you is a sign of disrespect.

I have my fare share of Thai friends and when at their house their wives dont act anything close to what the OP has stated. Next time I have drinks at their house I will let them know they are not abiding by their culture.

[Thakkar]

In a traditional Thai household, the women wait on the men.

For all you know, it is something she insisted on doing.

I used to mix with a very traditional family, the men didn't touch drinks bottles, all fetched and poured by the women.

If you dared to pour your own drink, everyone became very upset.

Different cultures and all that.

Vinney and AuntBob have it 100% wrong, in a Thai household, not allowing your women to serve you is a sign of disrespect.

This reminds me of a trip to India once. I was at a cousin's home. The men sat down to dinner and were served first. My cousin's six year-old girl brought out the dishes. To show me how he trains his daughters, he admonished her for bringing out a dirty dish. It wasn't dirty and she could see that, but she furtively ran back to get another one. I wasn't even married then, but made a mental note that if I ever had daughters, I would encourage them to argue with me. Respectfully and with logic and facts, but definitely argue.

I've done exactly that, and I'm proud to say that my daughters don't take any BS from anyone. They question everything, stand up for their rights, treat others with fairness and demand fairness in return. Mrs. T worries that they will not find husbands. Good, I say, because the kind of husband they will not find are the kind that are looking for another mother. They don't need that.

T

[itchybum]

Similar experience, pommy guy tells his wife to do this and that, get beers for him while he sits not 5m away from fridge watching telly. He finishes a glass and she pours him another.

Then he says, how about some chips honey etc.

She just runs about and does as she is told.

Kind of primitive.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

In a traditional Thai household, the women wait on the men.

For all you know, it is something she insisted on doing.

I used to mix with a very traditional family, the men didn't touch drinks bottles, all fetched and poured by the women.

If you dared to pour your own drink, everyone became very upset.

Different cultures and all that.

Vinney and AuntBob have it 100% wrong, in a Thai household, not allowing your women to serve you is a sign of disrespect.

This reminds me of a trip to India once. I was at a cousin's home. The men sat down to dinner and were served first. My cousin's six year-old girl brought out the dishes. To show me how he trains his daughters, he admonished her for bringing out a dirty dish. It wasn't dirty and she could see that, but she furtively ran back to get another one. I wasn't even married then, but made a mental note that if I ever had daughters, I would encourage them to argue with me. Respectfully and with logic and facts, but definitely argue.

I've done exactly that, and I'm proud to say that my daughters don't take any BS from anyone. They question everything, stand up for their rights, treat others with fairness and demand fairness in return. Mrs. T worries that they will not find husbands. Good, I say, because the kind of husband they will not find are the kind that are looking for another mother. They don't need that.

T

I think your wife is right, you have come to a foreign country and insisted on your western standards at the expense of your daughters happiness.

Are you really any better than the guy who orders his wife around? Nope, you do it with your daughters.

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference

[SteeleJoe]

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference

Truth.

[jbrain]

When them beers were gone,I got up to go to the fridge and he went a bit mental,

I think I would react the same if a guest walked up to MY fridge.

[Thakkar]

In a traditional Thai household, the women wait on the men.

For all you know, it is something she insisted on doing.

I used to mix with a very traditional family, the men didn't touch drinks bottles, all fetched and poured by the women.

If you dared to pour your own drink, everyone became very upset.

Different cultures and all that.

Vinney and AuntBob have it 100% wrong, in a Thai household, not allowing your women to serve you is a sign of disrespect.

This reminds me of a trip to India once. I was at a cousin's home. The men sat down to dinner and were served first. My cousin's six year-old girl brought out the dishes. To show me how he trains his daughters, he admonished her for bringing out a dirty dish. It wasn't dirty and she could see that, but she furtively ran back to get another one. I wasn't even married then, but made a mental note that if I ever had daughters, I would encourage them to argue with me. Respectfully and with logic and facts, but definitely argue.

I've done exactly that, and I'm proud to say that my daughters don't take any BS from anyone. They question everything, stand up for their rights, treat others with fairness and demand fairness in return. Mrs. T worries that they will not find husbands. Good, I say, because the kind of husband they will not find are the kind that are looking for another mother. They don't need that.

T

I think your wife is right, you have come to a foreign country and insisted on your western standards at the expense of your daughters happiness.

Are you really any better than the guy who orders his wife around? Nope, you do it with your daughters.

I think you haven't understood my post at all. Or if you have, and this is your response, then I surmise you think men and women should continue to live as if they were still in the nineteenth century; as if equality between the sexes was a quaint fad from The West and not the relentless forward thrust of a civilizing world that it is.

I do not "impose" upon my daughters to argue with me, or anyone else. I encourage them to stand up for their rights and demand fair treatment while treating others fairly themselves. In what kind of twisted logic could this be construed as a bad thing, detrimental to their futures?

Equality is not a "western standard." It is a universal standard. Where it doesn't exist, it should, and it will, because that is where civilization is rightly headed.

T

[SteeleJoe]

I do not "impose" upon my daughters to argue with me, or anyone else. I encourage them to stand up for their rights and demand fair treatment while treating others fairly themselves. In what kind of twisted logic could this be construed as a bad thing, detrimental to their futures?

Equality is not a "western standard." It is a universal standard. Where it doesn't exist, it should, and it will, because that is where civilization is rightly headed.

T

Quality. Eloquent, truthful and admirable.

My respect...

Edited May 9, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[Khun Watchaporn]

What else is she supposed to do if not looking after her husband ?

I think you have some serious issue if you decided to leave just after one day, maybe his wife now thinks she didn't take good care of you and lost a ton of face in the village

I just didn't like the way he treated his wife.She's more of a slave than a wife.

Westerners. No understan Tailand.

She was probably mortified that the guest left abruptly, probably due to her poor care.

[Khun Watchaporn]

I'm proud to say that my daughters don't take any BS from anyone.

I hope they're not being raised in, or living in Thailand.

[Loptr]

Perhaps a poll is in order for this thread. One that is not anonymous so we can ferret out the misogynists.

I wouldn't treat my dogs the way the man in the OP treated his wife. Of course my dogs can't reach the handle on the fridge anyway, so it's a moot point.

[SteeleJoe]

Perhaps a poll is in order for this thread. One that is not anonymous so we can ferret out the misogynists.

I wouldn't treat my dogs the way the man in the OP treated his wife. Of course my dogs can't reach the handle on the fridge anyway, so it's a moot point.

But if they could...

[Khun Watchaporn]

Surely it's okay if one is paying their 'wife' a set monthly 'salary'.

Edited May 9, 2013 by Khun Watchaporn

[Thakkar]

I'm proud to say that my daughters don't take any BS from anyone.

I hope they're not being raised in, or living in Thailand.

.

They are, and they will be fine, but thank you for your concern.

T

[Thakkar]

I do not "impose" upon my daughters to argue with me, or anyone else. I encourage them to stand up for their rights and demand fair treatment while treating others fairly themselves. In what kind of twisted logic could this be construed as a bad thing, detrimental to their futures?

Equality is not a "western standard." It is a universal standard. Where it doesn't exist, it should, and it will, because that is where civilization is rightly headed.

T

Quality. Eloquent, truthful and admirable.

My respect...

.

Thank you.

T

[Thakkar]

-snip-

I wouldn't treat my dogs the way the man in the OP treated his wife. Of course my dogs can't reach the handle on the fridge anyway, so it's a moot point.

As Jerry Seinfeld said, "If aliens landed and saw us walking our dogs and picking up after them, who would they think ran this planet?"

T

Edited May 9, 2013 by Thakkar