Just Back From My Second Visit To Thailand

[lostmebike]

yes thats a good job,whats the gf.got planned for your next visit,nice new build with a granny flat and room for the s.u.v.planned for the visit after that one

And who's gonna pay for it?

[glegolo]

Oh my God, stumbled over this thread. Negative negative and negative..... All these guys so negative and failures when it comes to living in Thailand.

I wish you good luck, I think you will be doing fine. Just do not listen to all these guy´s that hardly has been outside a bar in Pattaya yet.

Be generous, show a "good heart" because that is the first thing a thai girl will look for. So if you will loose money in worst case scenario, who cares really!!!! We are anyhow talking about small amounts......

I am from Sweden and I trust you will have a great time in (Muang) Lopburi as long as you are together with this girl. I have now been married up in Isaan for 5 years and are living the best life I have ever done. OK I miss many things, but there are other things that will replace what i miss.

GIve trust and get trust.....

Glegolo

[lostmebike]

Mate i wish you luck, but having lived here quite a long time i have heard story's like yours quite often and they do not all end happily, hope yours will, just keep looking through those rose tinted glasses, how old are you by the way as you sound a bit naive.

Yes I agree. Be careful, step back, think and constantly assess the situation. To some young, male tourists, Thailand is like a drug and it gets inside your veins pretty quickly. Many become blind to rational thought or behaviour here. Sad but true.

[mickjn]

One of her other boyfriends, will be there next week.

You shouldnt say that it is quite obvious from his post he loves her and she loves him.55555.And he is getting on great with the family,makes an old guy like me feel good

[lostmebike]

Oh my God, stumbled over this thread. Negative negative and negative..... All these guys so negative and failures when it comes to living in Thailand.

I wish you good luck, I think you will be doing fine. Just do not listen to all these guy´s that hardly has been outside a bar in Pattaya yet.

Be generous, show a "good heart" because that is the first thing a thai girl will look for. So if you will loose money in worst case scenario, who cares really!!!! We are anyhow talking about small amounts......

I am from Sweden and I trust you will have a great time in (Muang) Lopburi as long as you are together with this girl. I have now been married up in Isaan for 5 years and are living the best life I have ever done. OK I miss many things, but there are other things that will replace what i miss.

GIve trust and get trust.....

Glegolo

Being aware of friends that have had bad experiences with girls and their families and then trying to inform others to 'open their eyes' a bit more, isn't a bad thing. Good luck to the man if he has found 'the one'.

My friend, life isn't all butterflies, roses and rainbows you know. Some of us here just don't want the man becoming another broke, broken hearted individual, completely adverse to anything Thai in the future.

BTW, have never lived in Pattaya, Phuket, Samui or near any other 'hot' spots. There are many here though that do live in those areas quite happily and without 'bar girls' as you say.

And you mention 'small amounts'. I know of stories of millions of baht being lost. Maybe to you this is small change, if that's the case, maybe you should look again at your relationship.

Edited May 11, 2013 by lostmebike

[glegolo]

Oh my God, stumbled over this thread. Negative negative and negative..... All these guys so negative and failures when it comes to living in Thailand.

I wish you good luck, I think you will be doing fine. Just do not listen to all these guy´s that hardly has been outside a bar in Pattaya yet.

Be generous, show a "good heart" because that is the first thing a thai girl will look for. So if you will loose money in worst case scenario, who cares really!!!! We are anyhow talking about small amounts......

I am from Sweden and I trust you will have a great time in (Muang) Lopburi as long as you are together with this girl. I have now been married up in Isaan for 5 years and are living the best life I have ever done. OK I miss many things, but there are other things that will replace what i miss.

GIve trust and get trust.....

Glegolo

Being aware of friends that have had bad experiences with girls and their families and then trying to inform others to 'open their eyes' a bit more, isn't a bad thing. Good luck to the man if he has found 'the one'.

My friend, life isn't all butterflies, roses and rainbows you know. Some of us here just don't want the man becoming another broke, broken hearted individual, completely adverse to anything Thai in the future.

BTW, have never lived in Pattaya, Phuket, Samui or near any other 'hot' spots. There are many here though that do live in those areas quite happily and without 'bar girls' as you say.

And you mention 'small amounts'. I know of stories of millions of baht being lost. Maybe to you this is small change, if that's the case, maybe you should look again at your relationship.

Yes I have also heard about millions of baht lost for some extra stupid falangs that is completely out of their mind. So what has that to do with this sober real guy? I am not talking about you in particular, but when there are posts after posts after posts and so forth all the same negative talk. Mostly coming from people that do not dare jump into happiness.... So I am sure you are fine I am sure... but let this guy go for it..... he is just over 40 if I did understand him correctly, And we humans like to do our own mistakes and not listen all of our lifes on mistakes made by other guys.....

Glegolo

[john stevens]

ohhh my god ..... second timer to thailand ....... will the never learn about the truth behind the land of smiles ....... ric/ remember the ..... 3 F'S ok and it will save you milllions in the future .........................just like some poor lamb to the slaughter ....... will they never learn ........

thailand ====== lieland ........

[hutchings1963]

Your very lucky you never got caught if the bib had seen you working they would have asked for your work permit,no farang is allowed to work here without proper visa,just be careful next time you come,its okay saying im not getting paid to do the work but just try explaining that to the police.

[transam]

Oh my God, stumbled over this thread. Negative negative and negative..... All these guys so negative and failures when it comes to living in Thailand.

I wish you good luck, I think you will be doing fine. Just do not listen to all these guy´s that hardly has been outside a bar in Pattaya yet.

Be generous, show a "good heart" because that is the first thing a thai girl will look for. So if you will loose money in worst case scenario, who cares really!!!! We are anyhow talking about small amounts......

I am from Sweden and I trust you will have a great time in (Muang) Lopburi as long as you are together with this girl. I have now been married up in Isaan for 5 years and are living the best life I have ever done. OK I miss many things, but there are other things that will replace what i miss.

GIve trust and get trust.....

Glegolo

Being aware of friends that have had bad experiences with girls and their families and then trying to inform others to 'open their eyes' a bit more, isn't a bad thing. Good luck to the man if he has found 'the one'.

My friend, life isn't all butterflies, roses and rainbows you know. Some of us here just don't want the man becoming another broke, broken hearted individual, completely adverse to anything Thai in the future.

BTW, have never lived in Pattaya, Phuket, Samui or near any other 'hot' spots. There are many here though that do live in those areas quite happily and without 'bar girls' as you say.

And you mention 'small amounts'. I know of stories of millions of baht being lost. Maybe to you this is small change, if that's the case, maybe you should look again at your relationship.

Yes I have also heard about millions of baht lost for some extra stupid falangs that is completely out of their mind. So what has that to do with this sober real guy? I am not talking about you in particular, but when there are posts after posts after posts and so forth all the same negative talk. Mostly coming from people that do not dare jump into happiness.... So I am sure you are fine I am sure... but let this guy go for it..... he is just over 40 if I did understand him correctly, And we humans like to do our own mistakes and not listen all of our lifes on mistakes made by other guys.....

Glegolo

But thats why we have a forum, and planting a few seeds via us could save a lot of heartache.

[Banzai99]

Men whose only interest is drinking will quickly lose their body and mind, and disolve into bitter old men.

Yes, and after the mind and body have gone, ThaiVisa membership is inevitable.

[robblok]

Its quite simple there are many here who are burned and have seen people get burned. After a while you learn that this happens a lot and try to inform the people who have recently arrived.

Sometimes though its not neccesary and its all good not all girl are out to scam you.

High risk points to name but a few but there are countless others

- bar girls

- large age / looks difference

- if you are asked to provide her with a salary

- rushed into marriage

- have to buy a house

- also distance relations are quite hard

[rct99q]

I don't really understand the negativism directed at this topic. If you help someone without expecting anything in return then you will be rewarded by self satisfaction in a job well done. Creating anything has its own rewards and when nothing is expected in return you can be satisfided by a job well done.

Keep in mind Rene, some of these posters (95% male) have been twice (thrice) burned. Most from a previous spouse back in their own home country (which stings) and have been taken advantage of here in Thailand once or twice. As such their outlook on relationships is somewhat tainted.

Me, my first wife passed away some years ago due to a long illness and as such have felt heartache but not the bitterness. My current wife (Thai) offers among other things compassion and sympathy.

The right lady, a good family and a common bond seem to have attracted this poster to a good person.

[transam]

Men whose only interest is drinking will quickly lose their body and mind, and disolve into bitter old men.

Yes, and after the mind and body have gone, ThaiVisa membership is inevitable.

Sorry to hear about your mind and body problems. .............................

[mickjn]

Nice work and nice story. Good luck with your future visits to your lovely girlfriend and her family. I just hope that you don´t get burned, as many of us have been before with Isaan girls. Not many first time visitors pass by Isaan, so where and how did you meet your girlfriend? If you met her in one of the large tourist destinations, there is very good reason to be suspicious. Specially if you met her in a bar or a club.

I am sure he will not get burned.The future FIL has allowed him into his workshop,and he has only made a few trips,the family already loves him.I was with Lady Pla,7 years before the old boy would give me the time of day.Now every Saturday he and his brothers and a few others come over.I buy a couple of boxes of Leo I do not mind.In the end we all do the old Thai tradition and take our pants off and just sit around talking.It is great.Now I feel really accepted

[Naroge]

no, i dont have a w.p., why would i need one, i wasnt paid for anything i did, i was just helping the family out so technically speaking wasnt employed and thus have no need of a work permit, the question did come up however and the gfs brother in law who is a policeman told us not to worry about it

I also do my own jobs around my house but have on occasions recieved some cautionary advice from a local family friend

who is also a policeman, a work permit is apparently required to do any work that would normally incur a payment, so you

not recieving any payment would not matter just that if a Thai did the work they would recieve payment and the fact you are

doing it for free would be seenas you doing somebody out of a job, i never have got ome to do my own jobs, but i suppose

if somebody wanted to cause problems they could.

Thank you for this advice, much appreciated, i will take care in the future, i suppose the fact that the father was also working beside me could have made a difference too ??

If you make the working a part of your life in Thailand were money is involved eg: making furniture whether that is " just helping out" then you need a work permit. If you are just cutting the grass at your home.. no (but even that COULD be classified as work)

Just be careful.

Sent from my i-mobile i-STYLE Q6

Yes, "cutting the grass" or "painting the fence", even if it was on land you leased, needs a w.p. legally speaking. The interesting thing is that you are not even allowed to ask anyone else to do it for you, because then you act as an "employer" without having a registered business. I know that the authorities are looking to change this to be more in line with common sense, but as the law is today, that's the way it is.

OP's carpentering "activities" would certainly fall in this category. As long as everyone in the village is happy, and I hope they will be for long time, OP probably has nothing to fear, but if a neighbor one day gets upset for whatever reason, then better keep a low profile for a while. Hope it works out fine.

[Bangkokhatter]

Am i the only one who is sat shaking their head at some of the replies on here ? There are some sad people out there with some bad attitudes, maybe they should have listened to their own advice.

OP , good on you for having a good holiday away from the bars, wish i could do it sometimes.

As I said, big learning curve, perhaps you are at the beginning of your learning curve.

I find trusting my instincts, rather than some bitter men on a forum, has always worked for me

Yeh but you are 15, wait till you have dealt with stuff eh.

I wish i was still 15.

The problem with the posters who have been burnt by women before offering advice is, it's not advice. It just comes across like your jealous of anyone who is happy with their lot and it's impossible that they can have a relationship without getting burned.

Sure the OP should tread slowly, but all he has done is spent a couple of weeks doing some DIY around his GF's house, probably cheaper than 2 weeks at Nana ( maybe not as much fun though )

He also mentioned in the OP that he didn't have much money, just a working class lad, that i believe makes a difference, if you don't have it you can't splash it or lose it.

Personally living here is a breeze, actually quite the same as back home but better weather and the locals speak in tongues

[dunque]

Has her Dad got a website ric?

BTW, Thai musics great. Adds to the whole Thainess thing.

The tune that was going through my head reading some of these posts is "Another one bites the dust"....dont know why...

Hey there's a good thread...songs that remind me of Thailand! How bout Bon jovi, you give love a bad name...

Sorry for off topic.

Or songs that remind one of cynical contributions on here - I'm hearing The Bitch is Back

[davidmann]

The scooter be next ,then the car ,then the house ,always the same ,at least they never ask for a pool ,my only error ,should built one for me

[Headgame]

Just read this thread. Of course the OP is a big boy and can make any decisions he wants.
The only issue I see is that he's making a lot of major life changes after a very short period of time - two visits to TH.
I've spent more time deciding which television I was going to purchase. The sales person is always so nice and obliging while in the decision making stage but often the post sale customer service is lacking. The promise of the product was "oversold" and after a period of time, I discover it didn't actually meet my expectations or needs.
I suggest the OP be a cautious and prudent consumer.- doesn't eliminate but can minimize buyer's regret.

[transam]

Perhaps I sound a bit negative with this topic but over the years l have witnessed enough to write a book, but it is all not farang related, oh noooooo. I am still witnessing stuff. How do I know so much, the mrs tells all thats going on, and believe me l trust no one, not even family, my life's experiences have taught me that.

I am am/was an ordinary working bloke too but when the extended family and others found out my mrs had married a ''millionaire'' the hands came out for cash. Phone calls, people at the gate. There was no cash and after a while we never saw anyone, yippee .

But I know many who have been taken for a ride, one way or another, because of there nature.

[lostmebike]

Just read this thread. Of course the OP is a big boy and can make any decisions he wants.

The only issue I see is that he's making a lot of major life changes after a very short period of time - two visits to TH.

I've spent more time deciding which television I was going to purchase. The sales person is always so nice and obliging while in the decision making stage but often the post sale customer service is lacking. The promise of the product was "oversold" and after a period of time, I discover it didn't actually meet my expectations or needs.

I suggest the OP be a cautious and prudent consumer.- doesn't eliminate but can minimize buyer's regret.

Agreed.

What's the problem with voices of experience trying to advise this fellow anyway? There are probably many here that at one stage would have liked some advice with Thai girls and their families in the past.

It seems to me, the message here is by all means have a relationship with the girl, just be cautious and always aware of what is happening around you. As the man says, 'Just back from my SECOND visit'.

[how241]

I thought this was a nice warm fuzzy story until I read this sentence...

not to worry too much about money and sinsod etc, money isnt overly important to them .....

might I enquire where in Thailand you were ?

Yes. I found that thought 'interesting' too....Very rare indeed. Good luck in the future.

[F4UCorsair]

When I was younger and without tact, I would have said the OP was f****** nuts, but now i'm older, I choose my words more carefully. NowI'd say he's just crazy with the fever!

[johnsuma]

Well in France they use to say "il n'y a pas d'arnaque sans pigeons" try to think to that!Good luck anyway...

[Andre0720]

Careful.

Things are just about never the way they look in Thailand.

[rene123]

There has been some good cautionary advice here, but it's been my experience that if you don't put all your eggs in one basket then you will be okay. And, although what others say about needing a work permit for doing voluntary work is true, a lot of problems can be smoothed over if you smile and show deference to those in power. People who get confrontational or hostile with the police, even if they are right, won't get far in dealing with people in authority. Those in power tend to want others to show deference to their authority. Do so with a smile and you will usually be okay.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The problem with the posters who have been burnt by women before offering advice is, it's not advice. It just comes across like your jealous of anyone who is happy with their lot and it's impossible that they can have a relationship without getting burned.I wish i was still 15.

Sure the OP should tread slowly, but all he has done is spent a couple of weeks doing some DIY around his GF's house, probably cheaper than 2 weeks at Nana ( maybe not as much fun though )

He also mentioned in the OP that he didn't have much money, just a working class lad, that i believe makes a difference, if you don't have it you can't splash it or lose it.

Personally living here is a breeze, actually quite the same as back home but better weather and the locals speak in tongues

Some of us have experience, and are daft enough to try and share it with those who are younger and less wary.

Some of the younger posters are still in the "mine is different, so it won't happen to me" mode.

So let me tell you, unless you are fortunate to die earlier, it will happen to you.

It's not a question of "if", it's a question of "when".

Women are takers, men are givers, that's just the way it is.

To the OP

Enjoy the sex, don't shell out more than necessary, don't worry about the future and don't plan further than your next holiday.

Edited May 11, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Bangkokhatter]

The problem with the posters who have been burnt by women before offering advice is, it's not advice. It just comes across like your jealous of anyone who is happy with their lot and it's impossible that they can have a relationship without getting burned.I wish i was still 15.

Sure the OP should tread slowly, but all he has done is spent a couple of weeks doing some DIY around his GF's house, probably cheaper than 2 weeks at Nana ( maybe not as much fun though )

He also mentioned in the OP that he didn't have much money, just a working class lad, that i believe makes a difference, if you don't have it you can't splash it or lose it.

Personally living here is a breeze, actually quite the same as back home but better weather and the locals speak in tongues

Some of us have experience, and are daft enough to try and share it with those who are younger and less wary.

Some of the younger posters are still in the "mine is different, so it won't happen to me" mode.

So let me tell you, unless you are fortunate to die earlier, it will happen to you.

It's not a question of "if", it's a question of "when".

Women are takers, men are givers, that's just the way it is.

To the OP

Enjoy the sex, don't shell out more than necessary, don't worry about the future and don't plan further than your next holiday.

Unfortunately at 45 i'm no spring chicken and have a few years here under my belt, so plenty of experience, try playing the game different rather than think yours is different, you may just survive this place.

[Jimi007]

Interesting read. Of course there are the typical cynics that are always on here. To me it sounds like the OP has his head and heart in the right place. He enjoyed himself, that's the main reason we go new places and try new things, isn't it? Nothing ventured, nothing gained! I think it's great he got to experience a more traditional Thai family rather than a tourist experience. I also agree with some of the cautionary posts. I've been burned once or twice here, but not for much money, more the headache... But even a rather grouchy guy like me after years here, finally met someone I really enjoy being with. Over four years now and maybe four arguments in all those years, I'm a happy camper! Happy enough that I applied for and she was approved for her fiancee visa to the USA. I never severed my ties to home, I maintained a home in each country. Everything always in my name! Except the 3BB bill is in hers! I can still work any time I return to my home country, I have a decent house by the beach in California as well as the one I rent here in Rawai Beach, Thailand. The biggest pain for me is keeping all my vehicle registrations and insurance up to date in both countries!

I wish the OP the best of luck and enjoy your life!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Unfortunately at 45 i'm no spring chicken and have a few years here under my belt, so plenty of experience, try playing the game different rather than think yours is different, you may just survive this place.

45-55 is often the troubled bit, wait another ten years and then post again.