Age Difference With Babies = Happiness?

[muythai2013]

Most posters have assumed a man in his late 50s to 60s will not see his kids finish their studies and become independent. To put everything in perspective, the average man from most developed nations will live till the late 70s : http://www.disabled-world.com/calculators-charts/life-expectancy-statistics.phpSo most men who have kids in their 50s are likely to see their kids graduate and progress into the working work before they die. Of course, any of us can drop dead tomorrow for wahtever reason, regardless of age.

The life expectation is calculated for new bornes. If you are already in your 50ies, it is considerably higher. Especially if you live a healthy life style. You shall expect to live well into the 80ies, or with some luck even 90ies.

And you believe that.

[cardholder]

I can't speak for all but having a baby with my lady was very much a conscious decision made by the both of us.

She knows that I would never abandon my child regardless of any circumstances. My son has been to visit several times and was there when his sister was born. She sees how I raised my son and assumes I'll do the same for our baby girl.

But I do encourage the haters to carry on and post more moronic comments as it makes for good reading when I'm bored.

There have been surprisingly few 'haters'.

It is a fascinating subject and one that I may become personally involved. It does take some thinking about because having children in your late 50's is not 'par for the course'.

If it 'feels right' I see no reason why not.

[cardholder]

Most posters have assumed a man in his late 50s to 60s will not see his kids finish their studies and become independent. To put everything in perspective, the average man from most developed nations will live till the late 70s : http://www.disabled-world.com/calculators-charts/life-expectancy-statistics.phpSo most men who have kids in their 50s are likely to see their kids graduate and progress into the working work before they die. Of course, any of us can drop dead tomorrow for wahtever reason, regardless of age.

The life expectation is calculated for new bornes. If you are already in your 50ies, it is considerably higher. Especially if you live a healthy life style. You shall expect to live well into the 80ies, or with some luck even 90ies.

And you believe that.

I believe that the facts speak for themselves.

[muythai2013]

personally I would not do that to a child.

[cardholder]

personally I would not do that to a child.

Do what ?

[muythai2013]

personally I would not do that to a child.

Do what ?

Have one when I'm old, everyone keeps on talking about money and looking after them.

I know what its like to lose a parent at a young age, it sucks.

My Mother died young, no need to have children at an age where you massively increase the risk of not spending a reasonable amount of time with them.

I'm not quite sure why they want children at this age.

[cardholder]

personally I would not do that to a child.

Do what ?

Have one when I'm old, everyone keeps on talking about money and looking after them.

I know what its like to lose a parent at a young age, it sucks.

My Mother died young, no need to have children at an age where you massively increase the risk of not spending a reasonable amount of time with them.

I'm not quite sure why they want children at this age.

I think the mother's view is probably the most important one.

I would not, not do something because of the risk of losing a parent 'early'. That, as you well understand, is not controllable. Yes, you increase the odds of losing one parent with an aged father but I don't think that is a strong enough reason for not having children. I also believe Thailand is different - I would certainly not consider it in the west, but family support is generally broader (and at least numerically greater) in Thailand. Not so sure about the quality.

Just take my partner's situation; she is 37 and 6 years ago her young son died.

If having another child is very important to her, who am I to deny her that right? As long as I am comfortable with extending the family I don't see it as a major issue.

[Chittychangchang]

Most posters have assumed a man in his late 50s to 60s will not see his kids finish their studies and become independent. To put everything in perspective, the average man from most developed nations will live till the late 70s : http://www.disabled-world.com/calculators-charts/life-expectancy-statistics.phpSo most men who have kids in their 50s are likely to see their kids graduate and progress into the working work before they die. Of course, any of us can drop dead tomorrow for wahtever reason, regardless of age.

The life expectation is calculated for new bornes. If you are already in your 50ies, it is considerably higher. Especially if you live a healthy life style. You shall expect to live well into the 80ies, or with some luck even 90ies.

And you believe that.

I believe that the facts speak for themselves.

Statistics are just that!

The facts are a farang male in later years in Thailand has a lower life expectancy than the same man in his homeland. Due to climate, financial pressures,healthcare, unhealthy lifestyle, diet, social factors etc of course there are the exceptions.

CCC

Edited June 5, 2013 by Chittychangchang

[muythai2013]

personally I would not do that to a child.

Do what ?

Have one when I'm old, everyone keeps on talking about money and looking after them.

I know what its like to lose a parent at a young age, it sucks.

My Mother died young, no need to have children at an age where you massively increase the risk of not spending a reasonable amount of time with them.

I'm not quite sure why they want children at this age.

I think the mother's view is probably the most important one.

I would not, not do something because of the risk of losing a parent 'early'. That, as you well understand, is not controllable. Yes, you increase the odds of losing one parent with an aged father but I don't think that is a strong enough reason for not having children. I also believe Thailand is different - I would certainly not consider it in the west, but family support is generally broader (and at least numerically greater) in Thailand. Not so sure about the quality.

Just take my partner's situation; she is 37 and 6 years ago her young son died.

If having another child is very important to her, who am I to deny her that right? As long as I am comfortable with extending the family I don't see it as a major issue.

yes but she is still well young enough

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Statistics are just that!

The facts are a farang male in later years in Thailand has a lower life expectancy than the same man in his homeland. Due to climate, financial pressures,healthcare, unhealthy lifestyle, diet, social factors etc of course there are the exceptions.

CCC

All my foreigner friends are keep fit fanatics who eat very healthy diets.

Many have young wives and small children, they often seem 20 years younger than they would in the west.

I think you may be mixing with the wrong people.

Edited June 6, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[muythai2013]

Statistics are just that!

The facts are a farang male in later years in Thailand has a lower life expectancy than the same man in his homeland. Due to climate, financial pressures,healthcare, unhealthy lifestyle, diet, social factors etc of course there are the exceptions.

CCC

All my foreigner friends are keep fit fanatics who eat very healthy diets.

Many have young wives and small children, they often seem 20 years younger than they would in the west.

I think you may be mixing with the wrong people.

Yes that's right, all expats are a super fit picture of health.

Hence the reason they are called hansum.

I don't think he was refering to your friends as I'm guessing he may not have met them and the world does not revolve around your circle of friends.

I think he was talking about the majority of people, I know that because when you apply common sense when reading his post that's what it tells you.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Statistics are just that!

The facts are a farang male in later years in Thailand has a lower life expectancy than the same man in his homeland. Due to climate, financial pressures,healthcare, unhealthy lifestyle, diet, social factors etc of course there are the exceptions.

CCC

All my foreigner friends are keep fit fanatics who eat very healthy diets.

Many have young wives and small children, they often seem 20 years younger than they would in the west.

I think you may be mixing with the wrong people.

Yes that's right, all expats are a super fit picture of health.

Hence the reason they are called hansum.

I don't think he was refering to your friends as I'm guessing he may not have met them and the world does not revolve around your circle of friends.

I think he was talking about the majority of people, I know that because when you apply common sense when reading his post that's what it tells you.

If you lived in Thailand you would come to understand that not all (or even most) expats are beer swilling overweight mongers.

[muythai2013]

Statistics are just that!

The facts are a farang male in later years in Thailand has a lower life expectancy than the same man in his homeland. Due to climate, financial pressures,healthcare, unhealthy lifestyle, diet, social factors etc of course there are the exceptions.

CCC

All my foreigner friends are keep fit fanatics who eat very healthy diets.

Many have young wives and small children, they often seem 20 years younger than they would in the west.

I think you may be mixing with the wrong people.

Yes that's right, all expats are a super fit picture of health.

Hence the reason they are called hansum.

I don't think he was refering to your friends as I'm guessing he may not have met them and the world does not revolve around your circle of friends.

I think he was talking about the majority of people, I know that because when you apply common sense when reading his post that's what it tells you.

If you lived in Thailand you would come to understand that not all (or even most) expats are beer swilling overweight mongers.

I you read my post you would come to see I did not say all.

[overherebc]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child.

Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them.

Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind.

At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc.

Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child.

Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them.

Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind.

At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc.

Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

Wouldn't most normal people just assume it was a guy out with his daughter and grandchild.

Or do you have a special 'young wife' radar?

PS.

School in Thailand is free until University, no worries about school fees.

Children's shoes 50-500bht. You can buy 6 months of childrens' clothing from the market for under 1,000bht.

[sunlong]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child. Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them. Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind. At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc. Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

-

Aha here we go, I have to say I thought this sort of

meddlesome arrogant judgmental stickybeak ungracious nosy parker interfering offensive presumptuous

crap would have come along earlier and in greater quantity, congratulations to the community for refraining until now.

I'm sure the old gent is enjoying his retirement much more than most, mind your own business.

[Chittychangchang]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child.

Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them.

Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind.

At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc.

Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

Wouldn't most normal people just assume it was a guy out with his daughter and grandchild.

Or do you have a special 'young wife' radar?

PS.

School in Thailand is free until University, no worries about school fees.

Children's shoes 50-500bht. You can buy 6 months of childrens' clothing from the market for under 1,000bht.

Yes, anywhere else in the world that assumption of grandchild would be correct but TIT.

P.S Children need more than cheap shoes and clothes.

Try a pair of Clark's shoes twice a year for each child at 2000 baht a pair.

Granted you can skimp and save on clothing,but you are belittling the whole financial, emotional and more time than you've got "picture".

Children are precious and need total commitment financially and emotionally!

If you carn't give that then don't have them because that imho is selfish.

CCC

[Chittychangchang]

Statistics are just that!

The facts are a farang male in later years in Thailand has a lower life expectancy than the same man in his homeland. Due to climate, financial pressures,healthcare, unhealthy lifestyle, diet, social factors etc of course there are the exceptions.

CCC

All my foreigner friends are keep fit fanatics who eat very healthy diets.

Many have young wives and small children, they often seem 20 years younger than they would in the west.

I think you may be mixing with the wrong people.

It's good your foreigner friends are healthy and fit because they need to be.

For the record, i don't have time to mix with anyone outside of work and family.

My writings are of past observations in Thailand.

Edited June 6, 2013 by Chittychangchang

[AnotherOneAmerican]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child.

Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them.

Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind.

At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc.

Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

Wouldn't most normal people just assume it was a guy out with his daughter and grandchild.

Or do you have a special 'young wife' radar?

PS.

School in Thailand is free until University, no worries about school fees.

Children's shoes 50-500bht. You can buy 6 months of childrens' clothing from the market for under 1,000bht.

Yes, anywhere else in the world that assumption of grandchild would be correct but TIT.

P.S Children need more than cheap shoes and clothes.

Try a pair of Clark's shoes twice a year for each child at 2000 baht a pair.

Granted you can skimp and save on clothing,but you are belittling the whole financial, emotional and more time than you've got "picture".

Children are precious and need total commitment financially and emotionally!

If you carn't give that then don't have them because that imho is selfish.

CCC

Many Thai children don't even wear shoes, talk about western elitism.

What is important in a child's life is they have the love of their family, enough food to eat, a safe place to sleep, nothing else matters much.

Of course my friends and I are all retired, we have enough money to never worry about working again and have all the time in the world for our friends and families.

Edited June 6, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Chittychangchang]

#109

Not Western elitism! It's about wanting and providing the best for your children so that they can be "all they can be".

Enjoy your retirement and family.

CCC

[FDog]

I agree with FDog

What a load of tosh. His daughter, if an adult, must take care of herself. His job is complete with her. Her children are for her to care for, nothing to do with him if he doesn't want to.

As his current child is not of age then he has MORE responsibility to that one.

The law won't compel him to care for his grandchildren, not his problem.

Edit: If the daughter wants to shame him into taking care of the grandkids then she is a complete <deleted>. Her kids are her responsibility and hers and the fathers responsibility only.

Touched a nerve ?

FDog is correct and your response is laughable, far too many " Kidults " seem to think that there parents owe them a living for the rest of their lives.

Older parents, especially one's with previous families, had better take care of the legal situation in regards to their families. I know of one young girl in Chiang Mai who has been abandoned without assistance by her Farang family since the death of her father last year. The father made no provision for his daughter in his will. It doesn't look like the family in question are prepared to send a penny her way to help out with school fees and the like.

I reckon the OP was a bit passive aggressive in challenging out the " haters ", but if anything comes from this topic then it should be that you older parents will ensure that your young new baby will not be left high and dry in the event of your untimely death.

Guys in their 50's tend to be closer to the end than the beginning, how many of you even have a will in place?

Here are some the references of articles of laws depending which state you are from, I obviously did put them all 2010 Idaho Code

TITLE 32 DOMESTIC RELATIONS

CHAPTER 10 PARENT AND CHILD

32-1002 RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF SUPPORT.

Montana Code 40-6-214 - Reciprocal duties of parents and children in maintaining each otherWest Virginia W. VA. Code § 9-5-9 (Liability of relatives for support, including children, parents, brothers & sisters)Pennsylvania 23 Pa. C.S.A. §§ 4601 thru 4606 (Duty of parents to indigent child and child to indigent parents)

Eh!!!!

You do know the world doesn't revolve around what a few states in the US do. But if you are American you would probably believe there is no other country in the world.

You didn't post any links and I'm not that interested to look at them.

You do know this is a query about his grandchild, not his child, who is of age. A grandparent has very little rights and no obligations to a grandchild.

[overherebc]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child.

Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them.

Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind.

At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc.

Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

Wouldn't most normal people just assume it was a guy out with his daughter and grandchild.

Or do you have a special 'young wife' radar?

PS.

School in Thailand is free until University, no worries about school fees.

Children's shoes 50-500bht. You can buy 6 months of childrens' clothing from the market for under 1,000bht.

Yes, anywhere else in the world that assumption of grandchild would be correct but TIT.

P.S Children need more than cheap shoes and clothes.

Try a pair of Clark's shoes twice a year for each child at 2000 baht a pair.

Granted you can skimp and save on clothing,but you are belittling the whole financial, emotional and more time than you've got "picture".

Children are precious and need total commitment financially and emotionally!

If you carn't give that then don't have them because that imho is selfish.

CCC

To Anotherone American

Not in my world.

Edited June 6, 2013 by overherebc

[overherebc]

How many of the late 50's to mid 60's ex-pats in Thailand sat down with Thai wife/partner and had a discussion about having a child. Did future income, life insurance, living on a UK state pension only come into the discussion.

I for one don't believe it can be more than 1% of them. Seeing a mid 60's guy being dragged along beach road by his 30 year old wife and 5 year old child is a ridiculous sight in my mind. At that age a man should be enjoying retirement and not worrying about school fees, new shoes for the kids etc etc. Even if he can afford it it still looks wrong and a bit sad.

-

Aha here we go, I have to say I thought this sort of

meddlesome arrogant judgmental stickybeak ungracious nosy parker interfering offensive presumptuous

crap would have come along earlier and in greater quantity, congratulations to the community for refraining until now.

I'm sure the old gent is enjoying his retirement much more than most, mind your own business.

You missed out 8 commas and one 'and'

[David48]

Aha here we go, I have to say I thought this sort of

meddlesome arrogant judgmental stickybeak ungracious nosy parker interfering offensive presumptuous

crap would have come along earlier and in greater quantity, congratulations to the community for refraining until now.

I'm sure the old gent is enjoying his retirement much more than most, mind your own business.

You missed out 8 commas and one 'and'

...

... and a crime punishable by death ... he's gone now ...

[Chittychangchang]

Aha here we go, I have to say I thought this sort of

meddlesome arrogant judgmental stickybeak ungracious nosy parker interfering offensive presumptuous

crap would have come along earlier and in greater quantity, congratulations to the community for refraining until now.

I'm sure the old gent is enjoying his retirement much more than most, mind your own business.

You missed out 8 commas and one 'and'

...

... and a crime punishable by death ... he's gone now ...

I think he was a distant relative of Funfon or was it Almera. Hard to keep track these days.

[David48]

Aha here we go, I have to say I thought this sort of

meddlesome arrogant judgmental stickybeak ungracious nosy parker interfering offensive presumptuous

crap would have come along earlier and in greater quantity, congratulations to the community for refraining until now.

I'm sure the old gent is enjoying his retirement much more than most, mind your own business.

You missed out 8 commas and one 'and'

...

... and a crime punishable by death ... he's gone now ...

I think he was a distant relative of Funfon or was it Almera. Hard to keep track these days.

Apparently he was a Buddhist (believed in reincarnation ... )

But the Forum is OK with that (returning members). I'm sure I remember sbk stating once a member is banned he/she can rejoin the Forum (apologies if my memory fails me). What breaks the rules is having two current member names ... or coming back with the vitriolic tirades which got you banned in the first place.

.

.

[NeverSure]

I have done enough reading in the divorce section of this forum that I am happy to be snipped. That's where the horror stories are including one involving a 35 year marriage.

For those who think they are happy, the game isn't over until its over. Reporting on the early happy days may not be the end of the story.

Because I would by my own moral compass have to well support any child I brought into this world clear through college, I choose to duck the issue.

I remember Johnny Carson, who had several divorces once saying: "Why get married? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house."

Best of luck and congratulations to those who are happy today.

[David48]

.

With the Forum, I've seen and read many things and let most of it wash over me ... though sometimes I feel a real passion for a subject.

Let me tell you my story ...

My dad was in his 50's when I and my sister were born ... and we are not twins.

We never had a car. We lived in a very very modest 2 bedroom home and I slept in a breeze-way between the kitchen, toilet and back door. My closet consisted of a few suitcases under the single bed.

But I'm not campaigning for the sympathy vote. Indeed, exactly the opposite, I was loved by both parents and even though I (effectively) lost my Mum through sickness when I was 12 years old I had a fun childhood. Playtime was playing in the creek or riding the bike.

We never had 'Thomas the Tank' strollers or expensive shoes ... but were we happy ... hell yes.

Went to Public schools and received an excellent education.

My sister is married, never divorced, has a loving husband a pigeon pair of kids, owns her own home and has an investment house (or two ... ). Her daughters now graduated through Uni and is teaching. Her son is the Club swimming Champion 4 times now and works as a swimming coach.

I have travelled the world, put myself through University (topped the State in Quantitative Analysis) and scored a high enough score to complete and Honours Degree plus also have an investment house (or two ... ).

Was my sister and I happy with our parents to start a family when our Dad was in his 50's ... hell yes.

For easy reading, breaking up this longer post, part 2 below ...

.

[David48]

.

From above ...

So, when Mum and Dad were deeply in love and decided to start a family, and Sis and I were mere twinkles in Dad's eye, boy am I happy that they decided to take that route ... no pun intended and start a family, even though Dad has a son from his previous relationship.

We had few material passions, but we had the one thing that is priceless ... the love of our parents.

So when the time comes with my partner, who is Thai, to decide that should we have a family at my age (clue in my User name ... I joined a few years ago) ... the answer is again ... hell yes.

I'm not having a shot at some members here who think that the concept wouldn't work for them ... but I do think that it's a bit of a high and mighty position to take their moral compass and point it at couples who have decided to have children later in their lives.

Actually I believe that you can give kids too much. to many material things make them covert material things more. The focus should not be the 'new bike', the focus should be 'how much fun we can have with that bike, new or old, shiny or rusty'.

Last one below ...

.

[David48]

.

From above ...

Sadly now this is down to page 5 and few people will be reading by now and I wish I had posted this earlier ... but like starting a family, you do that when you think the time is right for you.

Kids don't need many material things to make them happy.

I stay at the gf's Farm and there is a collection of relatives who have houses on the Farm land or own adjoining Farms, so there is always kids around. Sure you lose a little privacy, but you more then make up for that with the joy of family.

No shoes, no shirts but a bike and no cares ... the joys of childhood

.

This boy is being raised by all who live at the Farm.

His Mum works away, Grandma feeds him. The Farm has lent him a bike which they don't need.

I discipline him when he does wrong.

The gf gives him a hug when the boy crys because nasty Farang takes his bike away for a day when he's naughty.

Is he happy ... hell yes.

This is a game, the name in Thai sounds something like Toy lee en.

They are simply rolling a coin off a wooden board.

The music is not a soundtrack, it's being played at the Farm.

The boy has the base of a small boat, we found that as discarded rubbish.

Do you need money to have fun ... not really. Just an active imagination and a safe place to play.

So, the OP asked the question ... "So, I believe a lot of the 50+ guys with younger GF/Wives who are happy with their relationships also have babies."

So, is age an influencing factor when deciding to start or extend your Family ... sure.

Is it a determining factor? For some couples maybe ... for others in a committed loving relationship ... hell no.

Thanks for getting this far ...

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