Attacked by Thai Work colleague

[Tarryn]

Great advice! Thank you .

Cheers

[scorecard]

Can I please press that our discussion was not had infront of the children!!!! The occurrence happened after. By no means would I even consider airing publicly if that were the case.

NOT HAD IN FRONT OF CHILDREN.

I have since sook legal advice yet before getting wrapped into a legal system which I know nothing about I'm sourcing advice from different avenues to gain as much knowledge before taking action.

I am a reputable teacher who works hard and takes my job seriously, I do understand on posting this story publicly I have opened it up for judgement and it's all fair game.

It was advice from a friend to come here and get views from possibly more knowledgable people about situations like this.

I'm sorry if I have given some a bad impression of who I am and what I stand for, but I'm sure if you met me your opinion would change. Thank you again for your advice and input to this post.

Cheers

QUOTE, from the OP, #28, late today: "Can I please press that our discussion was not had infront of the children!!!! The occurrence happened after. By no means would I even consider airing publicly if that were the case.

NOT HAD IN FRONT OF CHILDREN."

QUOTE, from the OP, initial post: "Today I was punched in my face and attacked by a thai work colleague in front of my 24 8year old students.

She has a dispute with money she owes me and property of mine she has and refuses to give back. After a calm conversation between the two of us, she lashed out and attacked me."

Well which is it?

Edited June 13, 2013 by scorecard

[Tarryn]

After the conversation. The conversation and the attack occurred on two different rooms. One leading onto the other. I'm not sure why the inquisition. I'm not trying to hide anything if I was I wouldn't be posting information on a public forum.

My main reason for posting was not to give details of every minute, yet to ask advice on the incident and if it was worth following up legally. As sometimes its legal and "legal" .

[Jerry Cornelius]

Thank you Otherstuff for your advice. I work for a private school which is ran by a mixed head of department. They have been understanding and supportive and will stand by me in my choice.

What I'm really hoping for is for the Teacher to return what is mine and move on, yet she is not co-operating with the school whom are tryin their best to organise the situation with ease... As am I.

Yet I won't stand to be abused any further, this has been going on for 2 months and it's now blown up a bit. I have always been supportive of this person and a confidant. We know eachother very well. Its just unfortunate that it's turned out this way. I don't want to cause anyone any harm or create problematic issues. But I'm not going to be a punchin bag in the process.

My thai peers spoke to me this morning they are surprised I am still being understanding and thunk I should go ahead and push charges.

I have decided to allow her to return my belongings and money, yet with fail to do so I will press charges. I like to live a quiet life but at what expense???

I've made a error in judgement on a persons character, yet I know people are who they are. I'm not here to teach anyone lessons or prove points. I just want what is mine, the money us no big deal it's just money. But she has irreplaceable items of mine which I would like back.

So will await a further discussion with the head and her occur an then take further steps or not... Based on her choice. Sad thing is she has the power to end this mess but just refuses as she knows it's distressing for me as well as her.

Oh well...... Let's see.... Thanks again.

So the head of your department is being very supportive, yet is takiing no disciplinary action against the person who assaulted you.

Not much support there then.

Most likely it's an attempt to create a window of opportunity for both of you to calm down and settle your differences like responsible adults.

I don't condone the use of violence, but you admit that you verbally assaulted your collegue on more than one occasion whilst being fully aware of her psychotic nature. So I'm not surprised you got a smack. You're both to blame for what happened.

I understand your anger, but maybe it would be better to take a time out and think about your options for moving forward. Undertaking an antagonistic approach may get you your revenge, but it will win you more enemies than friends at the school. To such a degree that your position becomes untenable. Antagonastic and open confrontation is frowned on here.

Maybe you could talk to your department head and see if thay can mediate with the other party so that you can resolve your differences and issues. If they are sincere in their offer of support they will be happy to assist a resolution which doesn't put the school in a bad light.

Jerry

Edited June 13, 2013 by Jerry Cornelius

[Tarryn]

And both my statements are the quoted the same there is no difference to what I have said.... So I don't understand when you say... Well which one is it? As they are both stating the same information except one has additional information that the conversation was not held infront of the children.

I'm sorry if you feel my posts are contradictory , yet I don't see where. Again this is a public post and everyone is intitled to their opinions and perceptions.

Cheers

[Tarryn]

Hi Jerry,

Thank you for your input. Surprisingly I'm not angry or vengeful. I had asked for a mediation but the other teacher declined.

I asked the head of department why further action beside a written warning has not been given. Honestly he mentioned the MOE are going to be attending our school next week and they don't want this issue to be present while the school is being assessed, totally understandable.

I'm only seeking what's mine and also not entirely pleased by getting punched in front of my students. It's just not acceptable.

What words we exchange between the two of us behind closed doors should not condem any violent behaviour in a classroom or any other work environment as most would agree.

Was just pondering on advice from members of Thai Visa on what they might do or advice they could offer as we are all living under the same justice system which I'm not too aware of as I've never had any involvement or exposure to the ins and out or general goings on.

I'm not wanting to feud or argue semantics ... Trust me I've had enough drama to last me a while!

Thank you again.

Cheers

[scorecard]

After the conversation. The conversation and the attack occurred on two different rooms. One leading onto the other. I'm not sure why the inquisition. I'm not trying to hide anything if I was I wouldn't be posting information on a public forum.

My main reason for posting was not to give details of every minute, yet to ask advice on the incident and if it was worth following up legally. As sometimes its legal and "legal" .

?

[MacChine]

I know, I call this one of those young Thai wives tales... they tell it to their farang husbands to keep 'em in line.

To OP I say, definitely file a report , you might take a lawyer with you , too. Thai police don't like filing reports- I've noticed personally, and are not necessarily interested in helping you .

You can file a report without pressing charges, you need a record of her behavior if it escalates into more violence.

What do you expect? You caused her to lose face by calling her a slut. Then on top of that you said you pity her. That would get you punched in the face pretty much anywhere in the world. In case you haven't figured it out in the 2+ years you have been in Thailand, causing a Thai to lose face is a recipe for trouble.

Yes, lets not let the sensitive little dears dent their egos.

Edited June 13, 2013 by MacChine

[benalibina]

Why on earth are you asking a question like this on ThaiVisa? You should be talking to a lawyer who can actually give you proper advice. Maybe you're worried about being told that, by calling a work colleague an immoral slut with complexion problems in front of a class of children you're supposed to be setting a good example to, you were inviting trouble. In view of the way you presented your post here I sincerely hope that you are not trying to teach English to the children at this school. Personally, I think that both of you should be ashamed of your behaviour.

Only you are perfect ?

[jbrain]

No not an EX , I am a 28 year old female been teaching at the school for 2 years along side her. She came within the classroom and kicked off. I'm completely professional I assure you.

And because you're a female means she can't be an ex ? Come on spill the beans, get out of the closet .

Edited June 13, 2013 by jbrain

[Nowhereman60]

Typical stuff coming here from the Grumpy old men of Thai visa. They can take a nun and make her into a xxxxx here. Just go to the police and file charges against this women and fight on, she has no right to hit you.

Edited June 17, 2013 by metisdead

[Tarryn]

.... Amusing. I'm sure My closet is open and empty thank you for your interest, not that it changes anything but if my sexual orientation was towards the same sex I think I'd be far more cautious in this neck of the woods. But let's get back on topic.....

[jbrain]

Typical stuff coming here from the Grumpy old man of Thai visa. They can take a nun and make her into a xxxxx here. Just go to the police and file charges against this women and fight on, she has no right to hit you.

I never mentioned or insinuated in my post that the OP was a xxxxx, however the OP clearly mentioned in the first post that she considered the Thai teacher to be a whore .

Maybe a grumpy old man need some reading glasses.

Edited June 17, 2013 by metisdead

[jbrain]

.... Amusing. I'm sure My closet is open and empty thank you for your interest, not that it changes anything but if my sexual orientation was towards the same sex I think I'd be far more cautious in this neck of the woods. But let's get back on topic.....

That is a strange reply, because one who has ever visited Thailand would know that same sex relationships are very much accepted in this country.

[Tarryn]

I don't need educating on this topic of Thailand being accepting of all ways of life. This is not what the topic is about. I'm fully aware and equally accepting no matter where in the world I am.

[roamer]

Typical stuff coming here from the Grumpy old men of Thai visa. They can take a nun and make her into a whore here. Just go to the police and file charges against this women and fight on, she has no right to hit you.

Agree about the character assassination and dissection, and she certainly had no right to hit anyone. However hurt pride aside you have to remember that law is always the last resort and frankly sometimes not worth the effort, cost and risk. I very much suspect that if I was asking a lawyer friend for advice in such circumstances he would be asking if he was talking to me as a lawyer or a friend. There are times when the wisest thing to do is walk....

[NanLaew]

Typical stuff coming here from the Grumpy old man of Thai visa. They can take a nun and make her into a whore here. Just go to the police and file charges against this women and fight on, she has no right to hit you.

I never mentioned or insinuated in my post that the OP was a whore, however the OP clearly mentioned in the first post that she considered the Thai teacher to be a whore .

Maybe a grumpy old man need some reading glasses.

No, but you inferred that the OP may be a lesbian. Why?

.... Amusing. I'm sure My closet is open and empty thank you for your interest, not that it changes anything but if my sexual orientation was towards the same sex I think I'd be far more cautious in this neck of the woods. But let's get back on topic.....

That is a strange reply, because one who has ever visited Thailand would know that same sex relationships are very much accepted in this country.

There is arguably less ambivalence on behalf of heterosexuals with regard to same sex relationships in LOS, but speaking as a heterosexual, do you have much knowledge of the local same-sex dating game from a farang participants point of view?

Back On Topic... the OP's former friend is hugely insecure and unhappy that the OP has chosen to terminate their friendship. She has become what is called a "bunny boiler." The fact that it she has resorted to violence should be taken as a warning and the police report needs to be filed. The OP has written off the money owed and will have to do the same regarding the personal effects since that is now the ONLY thing that that her former friend has and the former friend is NEVER going to surrender this last tenuous link to a friendship that obviously still rents a bigger space in her head than it did in the OP's.

Take Loptr's great advice and go on the 100% total ignore mode. This of course may make her do something even more spectacular as she seeks to regain the OP's 'attention' but will indicate to her that you have cut her off completely.

Then watch your back.

[vivek130205]

Come on group members what r v upto, this girl seems to be in a pretty hard and difficult situation as if now. I've been through all the valuable suggestions that have been given to her.

I seriously feel sorry for you Karen, I believe on humanitarian grounds if we take off our shoes and put on her shoes and feel the way she is feeling right now thnt probably we can relate to her at a much better wavelength.

All of us might have been through good and bad, unfortunately all are not lucky enough to find right friend or partner at the first go, don't give up Karen, u need some advice how to go about it, keep your respect, pride and feelings aside and realise the fact that you are not in your own country, however that should not let someone empower you but u need to be extra cautious before you take any step. take some legal advise.I believe that my lawyer is good at solving these kind of cases , though didn't gave him a chance fortunately.

Firstly try to get down to a solution, even if you have to part away with some percentage of your belongings, it will make things easier for you.

I know you have been though something weird, just don't let this incident disappoint you because thailand is a land of smokes, you can never segregate Thai people, I have had instances wherein people returned my purse, which had over 3000 dollars and at the same time I've seen taxi driver arguing that I gave him 50 baht and not 100 , all people are different, all good and bad is under the same blue sky so doesn't let this incident dishearten you.

Take some legal advice and get over with this matter as soon as you can as even a court case want fetch you anything towards the end of it. wish you luck.

LAW IS SAME FOR EVERYONE.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited June 13, 2013 by vivek130205

[nottocus]

Sit tight........you'll get your revenge. Best served cold however.

[Wavefloater]

It's clear by her writing that English is not the OP's first language, and obviously it isn't for the Thai co-worker. Perhaps there's just been a miscommunication due to a choice of wrong words. I noticed that the OP asked for a mediation, and it's too bad that the Thai colleague refused. Had that come about, perhaps any potential misunderstandings caused by something as simple as language errors could be cleared up.

[Tarryn]

Hello Wavefloater,

thank you for your input into the post, why do you presume I'm not native English??? Is that a sincere assumption or are we being slightly patronizing. I hope not as thats a bit unfair. If I have got the wrong end of the stick then duly sorry.

[Wavefloater]

Hello Wavefloater,

thank you for your input into the post, why do you presume I'm not native English??? Is that a sincere assumption or are we being slightly patronizing. I hope not as thats a bit unfair. If I have got the wrong end of the stick then duly sorry.

Oh goodness, I might have put my foot in it. Your writing is generally adequate, but I noticed language use that seemed to indicate a strong non-native English speaker. Maybe they were just typos. I not going to search through all your posts looking for examples, but I'll try to find at least a couple that will show what I mean.

I work for a private school which is ran by a mixed head of department. ("ran' should be "run", of course, and I really don't think it's clear as to what a "mixed head of department" means.

My school are being supportive bug trying to diffuse and play down the situation. (A school is a single item, so "is being..." would be the correct verb form. I'll assume that "bug" is simply a typo.)

"...which has prevent us from being friends." (Once again, a past participle is required -- "prevented us" )

"I can assure you my steps leading up to this have calm and respectful". (Correctly written, it would say ...have been calm and respectful...)

Anyway, there are more, but I'm not here to insult you or be the "grammar police". I thought my assumption was correct because the type of mistakes you have made -- often with passive or perfect forms, are typical of strong non-native English speakers. I used to teach English, so these patterns stick out sometimes. Now, I'm thinking that perhaps you were just a bit rushed and not too concerned about your writing here. Sorry if I inadvertently slighted you.

[Tomtomtom69]

I can't believe she had the nerve to pick a catfight with you in class in front of other students (i.e. other people!) Most Thai people would be embarrassed to fight anyone in front of strangers. I guess she will never show her face in public again.

Just for future reference NEVER EVER lend money or anything to anyone in this country, particularly not a Thai person. Tell them that if they need money there are these places called banks that lend money. If they say banks won't lend me money, ask them to ask for money from family. Otherwise, pawn shops called rong rab jam nam in Thai are everywhere and I'm sure they can do something. Lending money to anyone here is a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, wish you the best of luck regarding getting your stuff back from this psychotic bitch.

[Tarryn]

Hello Wavefloater,

I completely understand where you could presume. I can only say that I do all of my posting by I phone and the predictive text when typing can sometimes get in the way, as well as just plainly rushing to offload information and thoughts, its a bit sloppy I agree. hahahahahaha no hard feelings.

I am however using a keyboard today which could explain the difference in grammar.

Or it could be I have lived here so long my pigeon English is progressing as well as my Tinglish yet my native mother tongue has been sacrificed in the process.

mai pen rai. Thank you for your inputs.

Cheers

[Tomtomtom69]

Never lend or borrow money.

Give it away, no problem, but lending always causes problems.

Oh, oh, and if you insult a Thai, you are likely to cause a fight, your fault, no sympathy.

(go to court and she will accuse you of defamation, which you have admitted in your OP)

You calling her a slut and a whore should net her in the region of 50k-100kbht.

Are you serious? Thais don't sue for defamation! In fact, Thais don't sue for anything unless they're well connected and have tons of money, this is not the USA, come on! If she could sue for defamation and she won, the court would award her 500 Baht. Anyway, what evidence is there? It's not like any of this was recorded on tape so with a lack of evidence the court won't even want to hear it. The fact is if she owes the OP anything, she should be made to return it and that's what the court case would be about. The defamation case is absolute baloney and won't fly anywhere.

[Tomtomtom69]

Hello Wavefloater,

I completely understand where you could presume. I can only say that I do all of my posting by I phone and the predictive text when typing can sometimes get in the way, as well as just plainly rushing to offload information and thoughts, its a bit sloppy I agree. hahahahahaha no hard feelings.

I am however using a keyboard today which could explain the difference in grammar.

Or it could be I have lived here so long my pigeon English is progressing as well as my Tinglish yet my native mother tongue has been sacrificed in the process.

mai pen rai. Thank you for your inputs.

Cheers

Speaking of languages, did you and the attacker exchange words in English or Thai? Being Thai, her English is probably not particularly good so maybe that's where a lot of the miscommunication stems from. Also, maybe she didn't even understand the insults directed towards her but rather the tone of the conversation.

Anyway, I don't want to make any more assumptions as neither I nor anyone else here were there at the time this happened to you.

If you feel that there is good enough reason to sue then do so. But assuming you didn't suffer any injuries then simply talk to a lawyer, get the facts sorted and proceed from there.

[Tarryn]

OK SO A REAL UPDATE CONCERNING THE TOPIC:

I have again spoken to the head of department, I have asked if he could try get one of the Thai teachers close co-workers and friends to come have a mediation with me.

After a few minutes of sitting with a mutual friend and co-worker whom the other teacher trusts, I have tried to negotiate a settlement.

Lets call the teacher in mediation with me T2 (teacher 2).

T2 has informed me that the majority of my things have been damaged or thrown away quite some time ago. I assume about the time I ended the friendship. This is why she cannot produce them, why she did not say this 2 months ago ...I dont know??? As for the money its 37,000 bht. But in the grand scale of things not life changing amounts. I have told T2 to explain that I am willing to forget about the money aspects of things.

Now the one thing T1 has of mine is a USB with over 5000 files on it, including banking,photos,etc general personal things you might have on a USB an amalgamation of important documents to bits of scribble.....yet to me VERY IMPORTANT. To anyone else....not of any use really.

The reason T1 has my USB was after an event where many pictures were taken of a more happier times together. I had asked for a copy of the pictures, she told me to give her a USB to download. After some weeks its one of those things to do which one puts off, It never worried me as "its my friend". Yet after some ill behavior was displayed and alarm bells went off in my head....I decided to back away from T1.

Heres where the mess begins.......months of trying to be civil and again small talk , T1 was not willing to co operate and just "be cool" with each other...not enemies or best friends yet just work colleagues with mutual respect. No..... so this is where I am right now.

After the mediation with T2, I have heard feedback that my USB will be returned. When I don't know??? T1 has asked "if I return her USB will she stop the police getting involved?" ....... to which I replied OFCOURSE!!! For the last 2 months all I have wanted is the USB, thats why we are in this predicament!

I think she has had a realization she has taken her games too far. Sadly it took so long and caused some damage, but better late than never.

I also will not fully be convinced until my property is back in my hand and also with all files.....as I am sure she will have gone through them and had a bit of a re-arrange. HAHAHA wouldn't expect anything less right now.

I will say T2 seemed to be empathizing with me and even though very close friends with T1 you could see in her eyes and her expressions that she agreed with me and was as aloof to why this situation has got out of control.

In my heart ....yeah I would have loved a bit of justice as in a bigger natural consequence to have followed, but then again I have got what I needed and saved myself a lot of hassle going down the legal route. Not only that but she has exposed herself without any real encouragement from me. And worst of all I can distance myself and move on that person has to live with her actions and emotions and reasoning behind why she does what she does.

Fingers crossed this will be over!

Thank you all again for your input into this post, I took a lot of your advice on board and lets hope ive made the correct decision. BOW OUT GRACEFULLY.

[Wavefloater]

Hello Wavefloater,

I completely understand where you could presume. I can only say that I do all of my posting by I phone and the predictive text when typing can sometimes get in the way, as well as just plainly rushing to offload information and thoughts, its a bit sloppy I agree. hahahahahaha no hard feelings.

I am however using a keyboard today which could explain the difference in grammar.

Or it could be I have lived here so long my pigeon English is progressing as well as my Tinglish yet my native mother tongue has been sacrificed in the process.

mai pen rai. Thank you for your inputs.

Cheers

Aha!!! Predictive text explains a lot. I hate it. It never seems to accurately predict what I want to say, so it's turned off very quickly whenever I get a phone.

BTW, I've noticed that many posters have suggested talking to a lawyer before pursuing any legal action. That seems reasonable, but I would also caution you to be wary of lawyers who will suggest going the full mile. They might be thinking more about their wallet than your justice.

Good luck with this, but be ready for surprises and possible disappointment. What many have said about Thais sticking with Thais is very very true, regardless of how right or wrong the involved Thai person is.

[Tarryn]

Hello Wavefloater,

I completely understand where you could presume. I can only say that I do all of my posting by I phone and the predictive text when typing can sometimes get in the way, as well as just plainly rushing to offload information and thoughts, its a bit sloppy I agree. hahahahahaha no hard feelings.

I am however using a keyboard today which could explain the difference in grammar.

Or it could be I have lived here so long my pigeon English is progressing as well as my Tinglish yet my native mother tongue has been sacrificed in the process.

mai pen rai. Thank you for your inputs.

Cheers

Speaking of languages, did you and the attacker exchange words in English or Thai? Being Thai, her English is probably not particularly good so maybe that's where a lot of the miscommunication stems from. Also, maybe she didn't even understand the insults directed towards her but rather the tone of the conversation.

Anyway, I don't want to make any more assumptions as neither I nor anyone else here were there at the time this happened to you.

If you feel that there is good enough reason to sue then do so. But assuming you didn't suffer any injuries then simply talk to a lawyer, get the facts sorted and proceed from there.

Her English is at a very good level, she understands iron-ism and sarcasm, her vocabulary is vast. I have taught her for over a year and she can write well and read well and translate Thai to English, obviously with some help but she is very good. When I had first met her is was reasonable that probably why we got on so well in comparison to the other teachers, also please be aware I am the only western teacher in my school. I am the only native English speaker. My colleagues are made up of Thai and Fillipino.

Thank you for your advice again, lets hope this post could help someone in the future.

[ExpatJ]

Firstly, can i get her email? I am looking for some no strings attached fun

But you also called her a slut and told her she had a bad complexion so you shouldn't be surprised that you got slapped!