Why is it so hard to find a good nanny?

FritsSikkink · June 23, 2013

I think you don't know the difference between a nanny and a cook. They are two different occupations. If you want a cook, then hire a cook, not a nanny.

And if you pay 8K, what do you expect. Not trying to be harsh here, but it seems you want someone who is a nanny, cook, cleaner all rolled into one, who will work dawn to dusk for little pay. I'm not surprised that they all left. I wouldn't even start.

If you want a nanny, then hire one and only give them nanny duties. I don't know what nannies in Thailand are like, but in the UK, a good nanny would be properly trained. They wouldn't expect to be cleaning and cooking.

Where do I say I pay 8k? Mate you are commenting on something you do not have a clue about.

We have also paid them anything from 8-15k

FritsSikkink · June 23, 2013

Some kind of job description scedule appears in order here.

A domestic servant is not an appliance that comes with a set of functionalities. She has specific duties. The employer has specific responsibilities.

A nanny is a woman who lives in and who's primary duties are to take care of the children, to dress them, wash them, play with them, take them to school etc. and does a little tidying up.

A baby sitter lives out, comes to your house and does pretty much the same stuff.

A cleaning lady is like a maid except that she lives out and shows up a couple of times a week to clean your house.

None of these people are drivers or will wash your car. If any of these people sense "scope creep" they will begin looking for other work through the bamboo Internet.

A maid lives in. She has her own room and her job may consist of all or some of the above duties and she may or may not cook. This should be stated clearly when she's hired.

She does the laundry. Other tasks are negotiated before she starts.

A cook knows how to prepare several (ten to fifteen) local dishes and knows or is willing to learn how to make some Western ones.

Most foreigners in Thailand have never had domestic help.

They have no idea how to engage them, how to train them and how to pay them.

They are free to leave whenever they find a better deal.

Any and all of the above may jump ship whenever they wish.

Hiring a woman, calling here your maid and then piling on ALL of the above duties onto the poor woman is no solution to anybody's problems; the householder's or the maid's. Thais hire these people as wage slaves and the additional responsibilities brought into the house by a foreign husband who has no idea of a) what a maid's duties should be and

what the employer's expectations are

Lastly, overcoming "help" issues must never be resolved as young Thai couples occasionally do; by kidnapping a pre-adolescent and enslaving her into performing all the household chores.

Remember "dii-dii"; there are plenty of sharp knives in the Kitchen.

They can leave whenever they want.

I know all this stuff because I was once a butler/valet to Ellen Degeneres.

Hope this helps.

Not really. They have a job description before they start. It ain't rocket science.

Still he makes valid points a nanny is not a maid and does not cook nor does she clean. You want too much for your money.

Nonsense. The nanny has nothing to do between 7am and 4pm so what is she supposed to do? Watch TV? In fact it is a far more cruisey job than a full time nanny for a baby.

So you want her to do chores from 6am till 8pm ? You are looking to exploit someone.

rotary · June 23, 2013

At the risk of sounding a bit male chauvinistic ain't that what a wife is for.........to be the nanny?

That is the way I use mine, except when she is busy washing dishes and washing the cars.

samjaidee · June 23, 2013

Here in Vietnam, where I now live, the best nannies are without doubt from the Philippines. I don't know what the availability of Philippine nannies is like in Thailand but if you can find one it's got to be worth trying. A Philippina nanny will probably be more expensive but it's very much a case of "you get what you pay for".

bob4you · June 23, 2013

I have a Filipina working for me, she is not my wife nor does she want to be, but she is the best housekeeper I have ever known, 26 year old with 8 y/o back in PI and that is saying something after 6 wives and may live in's. She just came from Romania where she took care of 3 children including tutoring them in English, took care of bed ridden semi invalid, cooked Romanian food, cleaned, did laundry and ironing, and kept an immaculate house. She earned $800 US per month with one day off per week and lived in and worked 24/7. I am a single man with a 3 bedroom, 4 bath, 2 kitchen townhouse, so she keeps my house immaculate, no kids, cooks, cleans, does laundry. While I pay her less because I cannot afford on my pension, she does outside cleaning work for B200 per hour or B1000 per day (up to 8 hours).

If you are in the Pattaya area and need her services either hourly, 1 day per week or 1 day per month or on a full time basis let me know, I personally will guarantee your satisfaction, if fact you will be more than satisfied.

Hawaii Bob

thhMan · June 23, 2013

@ kernel

S-s-s-s okay, there sahib kernell, sir.

At this point no one on this thread is left wondering what kind of a person you'd be to work for :-)

Good luck in your search.

Well said mate...

So for the pittance offered... a "nanny" starts work at 6am (give or take an hour)... works no-stop doing chores etc... then finishes at.. 9pm-ish (give or take an hour), 7 days a week....

Hmmmm... and from the OP, it seems there is a mean streak present, which would add to the slaves problems.... nobody buys a nanny... they buy a slave at those rates and hours.

hellodolly · June 23, 2013

.....if you haven't noticed in the scam haven, land of ill-repute....

(,,,,,so much industry states that there is an inadequate workforce,,,,,,because nobody wants to work for an honest day's wages.....)

.....so easy to marry or scam one's way into a small fortune.....

How small a fortune did you scam your way into? Or did you marry into it?

Hunter88 · June 23, 2013

Maybe because you should raise your own kids.

ayayay · June 23, 2013

I think kernell has has gotten some good advices, now to the hard part, he has to let go of his initial idea of what a nanny is...

hellodolly · June 23, 2013

After reading these comments I've concluded that we have the greatest live-in maid/nanny/cook/car cleaner/gardener in the whole of Thailand by the sound of it. I will be giving her a pay rise

As well you should.

As I read through this thread I am getting several impressions. That they should not be expected to be an all purpose servant and if they are it is made plainly clear to them at the start and the pay is a decent rate for what they do. Also I am getting the feeling that the ones like yourself with a successful situation treat them with respect and perhaps a part of the family.

kurnell · June 23, 2013

I think you don't know the difference between a nanny and a cook. They are two different occupations. If you want a cook, then hire a cook, not a nanny.

And if you pay 8K, what do you expect. Not trying to be harsh here, but it seems you want someone who is a nanny, cook, cleaner all rolled into one, who will work dawn to dusk for little pay. I'm not surprised that they all left. I wouldn't even start.

If you want a nanny, then hire one and only give them nanny duties. I don't know what nannies in Thailand are like, but in the UK, a good nanny would be properly trained. They wouldn't expect to be cleaning and cooking.

Where do I say I pay 8k? Mate you are commenting on something you do not have a clue about.

We have also paid them anything from 8-15k

Right, so you read it again and you still can't see anything wrong? Or did you fail maths in 3rd class?

ayayay · June 23, 2013

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

This is also true. Thais are at this moment used to have many options as the unemployment rate is extremely low.

kurnell · June 23, 2013

We've had one good nanny in the past two years. She was a five day a week 9 to 5 woman who cared for my son and when he was napping did laundry and light cleaning. When he didn't nap, she didn't do the extra work. She left abruptly as pretty much all domestic help does. She lasted eighteen months.

During that time my wife has had a second child and we've tried to use Vietnamese women. They are better workers but don't do as well as the Thais with caring for children. They talk on the phone constantly and leave the moment a better job appears.

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

We are past the crying baby part so our job is a doddle, but we still can't find a decent nanny or HOUSEKEEPER or whatever. Our current "nanny" is asleep on the living room floor. Lazy ass.

I pay staff, straight out of university 15k to work in my office. To pay an uneducated, lazy nanny the same amount irritates the hell out of me. How difficult is it to turn on a washing machine, cook a few meals and sweep a few floors?

kurnell · June 23, 2013

@ kernel

S-s-s-s okay, there sahib kernell, sir.

At this point no one on this thread is left wondering what kind of a person you'd be to work for :-)

Good luck in your search.

Well said mate...

So for the pittance offered... a "nanny" starts work at 6am (give or take an hour)... works no-stop doing chores etc... then finishes at.. 9pm-ish (give or take an hour), 7 days a week....

Hmmmm... and from the OP, it seems there is a mean streak present, which would add to the slaves problems.... nobody buys a nanny... they buy a slave at those rates and hours.

So what other options are there out there for people with no education? 14 hours a day in a factory? That is the reality sunshine. A cushy job mincing about our house all day is far preferable to sweating for an abusive boss. and believe me I know what I am talking about as my neighbor has a factory that hires Burmese for 150 baht a day.

...and where did you get your 6am-9pm non-stop work, 7 days a week from? A fantasy you read on TV? Man I think you need a hobby rather than doling out drivel on this forum

Powder · June 23, 2013

Hi, maybe i have a solution. I have a friend, Filipian woman of 39 years old, she works in Dubai, works there as a nanny.

The conditions are not good at all. The muslim family she works for is paying her badly and they have no respect for her at all. Many have left there already. She needs to work 7 days a week.

Now she wants to leave, but then she doesnt have a job. Its a hard working woman. easy going and respectfull.

Maybe your ideal nanny??

hellodolly · June 23, 2013

We've had one good nanny in the past two years. She was a five day a week 9 to 5 woman who cared for my son and when he was napping did laundry and light cleaning. When he didn't nap, she didn't do the extra work. She left abruptly as pretty much all domestic help does. She lasted eighteen months.

During that time my wife has had a second child and we've tried to use Vietnamese women. They are better workers but don't do as well as the Thais with caring for children. They talk on the phone constantly and leave the moment a better job appears.

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

We are past the crying baby part so our job is a doddle, but we still can't find a decent nanny or HOUSEKEEPER or whatever. Our current "nanny" is asleep on the living room floor. Lazy ass.

I pay staff, straight out of university 15k to work in my office. To pay an uneducated, lazy nanny the same amount irritates the hell out of me. How difficult is it to turn on a washing machine, cook a few meals and sweep a few floors?

About as difficult to understand as the difference between a Nanny a maid and a cook.

Edited June 23, 2013 by hellodolly

joeaverage · June 23, 2013

I've been here in Thailand 18 years. Every maid I have had I had to fire for stealing and/or sloppy work. Wasn't until I got married that my wife took over that aspect of the house hold and then she would only hire relatives (cousins/nieces).

In your case, sounds like you need a Nanny and a Maid. Its interesting how spoiled we Westerners are here. My Mom as a single parent, raised 2 boys, worked a full time job, cooked and cleaned and we still went to the cottage every weekend in the summer. In the West, hiring a Nanny or Maid is only for the rich. My Uncle had a Nanny but it broke up his marriage when they slept together.

and if you asked her she would tell you no way would she have done it on her own if she could afford help

Donnie Brasco · June 23, 2013

Yeah ok kurnall.
As you say in your sneak-shot at ME and your slight to all in service after all the trouble I have taken to educate you on the subject of domestic help;indeed it's not rocket science.

But you still haven't been able to get it right, have you ?

Life in the raj can be a tough row to hoe.

a slight to all in service.

get over yourself.

or get yourself back to downton abbey

i just don't see how these people and their career in service bear any relation to hiring and maintaining domestic help in Thailand.

the two just don't compare. they are rooted in different cultures and pertain to people with entirely different opportunities and expectations in life.

You might try reading more, getting out more, and interpreting precise diction within its intended scope.

Or not.

Reverse snobbery has its limits.

Gsxrnz · June 23, 2013

After reading these comments I've concluded that we have the greatest live-in maid/nanny/cook/car cleaner/gardener in the whole of Thailand by the sound of it. I will be giving her a pay rise

As well you should.

As I read through this thread I am getting several impressions. That they should not be expected to be an all purpose servant and if they are it is made plainly clear to them at the start and the pay is a decent rate for what they do. Also I am getting the feeling that the ones like yourself with a successful situation treat them with respect and perhaps a part of the family.

I've been an employer most of my working life. Treating employees with respect goes with the territory - those that don't usually get bitten regardless of the country. There are huge differences in employing domestic staff in Thailand that have to be considered when weighing up the pros and cons of the job itself. Our lady is treated like one of the family but knows the boundaries (that she herself has set). She is respectful, as are we towards her. We do her favours, she returns in kind.

But remember that if she had a job at say a 7/11, she'd get less money and still have to pay rent and living costs. If she was living at her home and had no job, her family would expect her to do what she is doing for us for free - repaid by the roof over her head and the food that she eats.

She works for us and is technically on call 24/7, 4 days off per month. In effect her day job is cruisy - wakes at 6:30am, does a few chores, bathes and dresses our daughter, takes her to school, does a few more chores and is usually having a nap or free time from 10am till 3pm.

She eats with us, takes care of the daughter as we require and does other general household work in between watching TV, reading, or talking on the phone until bedtime at 7pm, then has free time. Sure there are other things she does, but as/when it suits her. She likes to be busy and will wash the car whether it needs it or not.

Compared to probably 80% of unskilled labour in Thailand, she's on the proverbial pig's back in terms of living conditions, work conditions, and money. To say that the salary I pay her would not get anything like that level of service back home is not a fair comparison. I'm paying truckies back home $30 per hour - that would employ two truckies in Thailand for a DAY.

Gsxrnz · June 23, 2013

We've had one good nanny in the past two years. She was a five day a week 9 to 5 woman who cared for my son and when he was napping did laundry and light cleaning. When he didn't nap, she didn't do the extra work. She left abruptly as pretty much all domestic help does. She lasted eighteen months.

During that time my wife has had a second child and we've tried to use Vietnamese women. They are better workers but don't do as well as the Thais with caring for children. They talk on the phone constantly and leave the moment a better job appears.

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

We are past the crying baby part so our job is a doddle, but we still can't find a decent nanny or HOUSEKEEPER or whatever. Our current "nanny" is asleep on the living room floor. Lazy ass.

I pay staff, straight out of university 15k to work in my office. To pay an uneducated, lazy nanny the same amount irritates the hell out of me. How difficult is it to turn on a washing machine, cook a few meals and sweep a few floors?

Try this website. I tried it over a year ago and got quite a few replies. I employed our woman through this website and she's awesome. Most of the girls/woman that replied seemed of very good calibre. There are also quite a few Filipino woman on there that are already based in Thailand. Well worth a look.

http://www.greataupair.com/Hire_Nanny_Babysitter/Aupair_Tutor_Housekeeper/Thailand.htm

vento · June 23, 2013

, Filipian woman of 39 years old, she works in Dubai, works there as a nanny.

The conditions are not good at all. The muslim family she works for is paying her badly and they have no respect for her at all. Many have left there already. She needs to work 7 days a week.

Let me add to This story, that her Agency have her passport and she Will be afsked to cover visa cost before she Can leave . Oh if she dont have that money. To bad.

Do i know her, no i dont, but if i just had a penny for each of These stories Ive heard First hand in Dubai

Donnie Brasco · June 23, 2013

@ kernel

S-s-s-s okay, there sahib kernell, sir.

At this point no one on this thread is left wondering what kind of a person you'd be to work for :-)

Good luck in your search.

Well said mate...

So for the pittance offered... a "nanny" starts work at 6am (give or take an hour)... works no-stop doing chores etc... then finishes at.. 9pm-ish (give or take an hour), 7 days a week....

Hmmmm... and from the OP, it seems there is a mean streak present, which would add to the slaves problems.... nobody buys a nanny... they buy a slave at those rates and hours.

So what other options are there out there for people with no education? 14 hours a day in a factory obit? That is the reality -sunshine. A cushy job mincing about our house all day is far preferable to sweating for an abusive boss. and believe me I know what I am talking about as my neighbor has a factory that hires Burmese for 150 baht a day.
...and where did you get your 6am-9pm non-stop work, 7 days a week from? A fantasy you read on TV? Man I think you need a hobby rather than doling out drivel on this forum

@ kurnell

Point taken. Anyone on this board who won't go along with your jive-@$$ rugby-union bully-boy attitude is "doling out drivel" then.

Wipe your own poo, then.

@ "drivel dolers "

He dongeddit.

Fuggedaboudit.

joeaverage · June 23, 2013

Yeah ok kurnall.
As you say in your sneak-shot at ME and your slight to all in service after all the trouble I have taken to educate you on the subject of domestic help;indeed it's not rocket science.

But you still haven't been able to get it right, have you ?

Life in the raj can be a tough row to hoe.

a slight to all in service.

get over yourself.

or get yourself back to downton abbey

i just don't see how these people and their career in service bear any relation to hiring and maintaining domestic help in Thailand.

the two just don't compare. they are rooted in different cultures and pertain to people with entirely different opportunities and expectations in life.

You might try reading more, getting out more, and interpreting precise diction within its intended scope.

Or not.

Reverse snobbery has its limits.

apparently so does your ability to use quotes.

that said i would suggest you revisit the meaning of reverse snobbery.

DGIE · June 23, 2013

If you are nice to your nanny, you can find good ones. I mean that

even they are nannies, we should also give them due respect.

Here are some reasons why nannies or maids leave their employers:

They leave their employer because they find a higher offer.

Their work includes almost everything.

The number of hours they work is over.

Honest ones who feel that they can not do the work like cooking for

you because they do not know how to cook, let's say a western food, they opt to leave. Etc.

By the way, are you an American?

I did not see you mentioned Filipino. Have you not tried them?

RBOP · June 23, 2013

I've been here in Thailand 18 years. Every maid I have had I had to fire for stealing and/or sloppy work. Wasn't until I got married that my wife took over that aspect of the house hold and then she would only hire relatives (cousins/nieces).

In your case, sounds like you need a Nanny and a Maid. Its interesting how spoiled we Westerners are here. My Mom as a single parent, raised 2 boys, worked a full time job, cooked and cleaned and we still went to the cottage every weekend in the summer. In the West, hiring a Nanny or Maid is only for the rich. My Uncle had a Nanny but it broke up his marriage when they slept together.

and if you asked her she would tell you no way would she have done it on her own if she could afford help

You don't my Mother.

sirchai · June 23, 2013

Why is it so hard to find a good nanny?

To answer your question with a question:Why is it so hard to find a good wife?

Mudcrab · June 23, 2013

We've had one good nanny in the past two years. She was a five day a week 9 to 5 woman who cared for my son and when he was napping did laundry and light cleaning. When he didn't nap, she didn't do the extra work. She left abruptly as pretty much all domestic help does. She lasted eighteen months.

During that time my wife has had a second child and we've tried to use Vietnamese women. They are better workers but don't do as well as the Thais with caring for children. They talk on the phone constantly and leave the moment a better job appears.

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

We are past the crying baby part so our job is a doddle, but we still can't find a decent nanny or HOUSEKEEPER or whatever. Our current "nanny" is asleep on the living room floor. Lazy ass.

I pay staff, straight out of university 15k to work in my office. To pay an uneducated, lazy nanny the same amount irritates the hell out of me. How difficult is it to turn on a washing machine, cook a few meals and sweep a few floors?

not difficult at all.......tell your wife to do it.

Mudcrab · June 23, 2013

20 plus nannies??

A reasonable person may ask why so many.

Is it the nannies at fault? or the employer?

I find it hard to fathom at times how little people think of their own flesh and blood - their children - and relate them back to baht expended.

To have a couple of kids and then complain that the hired help is no good or unreliable says more about the type of parents involved than the type of nannies they employ.

Lets face it , if you haven't got time for your own kids then it is likely you won't have much time for anyone else, nannies included. To use the excuse that you need to hire someone to look after your kids while you are too busy making money is a low excuse and can be treated with contempt (as you surely will be by your kids over time).

Your life....your choices. Stop whining.

Edited June 23, 2013 by Mudcrab

kurnell · June 23, 2013

We've had one good nanny in the past two years. She was a five day a week 9 to 5 woman who cared for my son and when he was napping did laundry and light cleaning. When he didn't nap, she didn't do the extra work. She left abruptly as pretty much all domestic help does. She lasted eighteen months.

During that time my wife has had a second child and we've tried to use Vietnamese women. They are better workers but don't do as well as the Thais with caring for children. They talk on the phone constantly and leave the moment a better job appears.

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

We are past the crying baby part so our job is a doddle, but we still can't find a decent nanny or HOUSEKEEPER or whatever. Our current "nanny" is asleep on the living room floor. Lazy ass.

I pay staff, straight out of university 15k to work in my office. To pay an uneducated, lazy nanny the same amount irritates the hell out of me. How difficult is it to turn on a washing machine, cook a few meals and sweep a few floors?

About as difficult to understand as the difference between a Nanny a maid and a cook.

There are no real nannies in Bangkok. While expat women are off shopping while nannies take care of their toddlers I see the most appalling things, the highlight being one idiot nanny pushing a toddler in a pram down the middle of Sukhumvit soi 31 (and I do mean middle of the road) through the intersection with cars blindly whizzing all around her. One reason why I forbid our NANNY from taking our children out of our mooban

kurnell · June 23, 2013

We've had one good nanny in the past two years. She was a five day a week 9 to 5 woman who cared for my son and when he was napping did laundry and light cleaning. When he didn't nap, she didn't do the extra work. She left abruptly as pretty much all domestic help does. She lasted eighteen months.

During that time my wife has had a second child and we've tried to use Vietnamese women. They are better workers but don't do as well as the Thais with caring for children. They talk on the phone constantly and leave the moment a better job appears.

We would love to try Burmese, Khmers, hell ANYONE! We are desperate like the OP. We up in Isaan if anyone knows of anyone.

For what it's worth, I did post an ad on Thai Visa and did get one call from a woman in Bangkok who wanted a Bangkok area job.

I think part of the problem is a general labor shortage and wage inflation. Thais have options and many pass on a crying baby with dirty diapers.

We are past the crying baby part so our job is a doddle, but we still can't find a decent nanny or HOUSEKEEPER or whatever. Our current "nanny" is asleep on the living room floor. Lazy ass.

I pay staff, straight out of university 15k to work in my office. To pay an uneducated, lazy nanny the same amount irritates the hell out of me. How difficult is it to turn on a washing machine, cook a few meals and sweep a few floors?

Try this website. I tried it over a year ago and got quite a few replies. I employed our woman through this website and she's awesome. Most of the girls/woman that replied seemed of very good calibre. There are also quite a few Filipino woman on there that are already based in Thailand. Well worth a look.

http://www.greataupair.com/Hire_Nanny_Babysitter/Aupair_Tutor_Housekeeper/Thailand.htm