How do you live with permanent depression (obesity)

[armedian]

Being fat is so difficult for me to bear, it's a constant bad feeling and a permanent fight with myself whether I should accept myself as is or try everything I can to regain a kind of life and decency...

I'm 25 years old, I weighted about 120 Kg (265 lb) and lost more than 50 Kg one year ago. It was the result of a life changing courage, countless efforts and strong discipline. I was able to maintain this weight for more than 6 months but then slowly I regained all the weight and I'm back at my original weight.

For the few months that I was skinny, I felt like another person, I had the confidence to speak in public, I was feeling good in my body, light, a true well being.

To loose all this weight I used a few techniques like EFT and Low-GI nutrition, in addition to life events and changes.

I often try to regain control and to eat correctly again, but it is very difficult as results aren't coming as fast as the first time, I get discouraged after a few weeks, and then regain it all in a few days only. It is a disturbing true.

Am I alone in this situation?

I can't even find any shirt for my size: BigC, Lotus, street markets, etc. all sell "XXL" at most which is equivalent to an "M" in the U.S. ... where do you buy your 5XL-thai-sized shirts?

[Neeranam]

There's a separate forum for overweight people.

There are many ways to treat depression, the best being drug - free IMO, using CBT.

[breadbin]

It's very difficult to lose weight and harder to keep it off.

I'm no expert but have been a 'fatty', lost it and yo yo it again.

As I get older I put on weight, I'm not obese but have a tummy and love handles that I'd love to lose.

You just need to eat properly and exercise.

Easier said than done when you want a Big Mac rather then a green salad.

Just be happy with who you are. Life is short and too short to worry.

Good luck mate.

[kennedy]

Where I live (in the sticks) There is a Thai about the same age and weight you are. He always has a smile on his face and happy. He makes my day whenever I see him. No one seems to look down on him. I certainly don't.

[benalibina]

You wrote how you have lost weight before. So you back to that routine and walk minimum 1 hour a day. Write down all you eat on a day with the number of calories next to it. I lost 17 kgs on that way in 4 months. Drunk some beers regularly as well and ate snacks and sweets limited. Do not weigh yourself everyday/week. On that way slowly but sure you loose weight. DISCIPLINE !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Vinny1967]

You have to ask yourself which guy you're happier with,.....the skinny guy or the fat guy ?.I'm a little overweight and used to look at other men who were slim and slender and it used to piss me off.I'd get jealous and go on mad diets just to be like them.In the end,because of my silly thinking (not just about weight) I ended up suicidal.

If you're constantly comparing yourself to other men,then you'll never be satisfied.It'll only make you even more depressed.Go with what you know best,and what you're most comfortable with.I gave up trying to be like other people and just live my life as me.I've accepted who I am and moved on.Much happier these days because of it.

[rookball]

consider a change in lifestyle instead of a diet mindset

[andrew]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

Edited June 23, 2013 by andrew

[crazygreg44]

I can feel with you, as I am obese too. I had 135 kilos, managed to loose 20 kilos in 4 months, and then jo joed back. now I am 150 kilos and in the recent weeks cut my eating habits into half and started to move ( walk, doing gymnastics) so literally keep the sweat running.

The first 15 or so kilos are always the water, and before your body starts to burn fat, you must reduce calories intake and signal your body to feast on the excess fats.

As some other poster said, discipline involved, your morale should be OK, don't desperate, as you know you can always do it again. Depending on your size, i think that 100 kilo is an acceptable weight, and it's possible to keep once that lifestyle has gotten you into high morale mode.

Just don't worry, be happy. It would be different if you were sick or had diabetes. You are stil far from that and you can change your lifestyle a bit because you already know exactly what to do.

I quit smoking 13 years ago, this catapulted me from 110 towards 135 within 3 months ! But I'd rather be obese than start smoking again.

Reading your post really helped me remind my own situation and strengthened my committment to keep up a low carbohydrate / minimal sugar - diet all the way until dear results show, and if it shall be X-mas . . no worries, mate, check my avatar, I was shaped by Miguel Angel, he had a sense for beauty !

[Chittychangchang]

Keep of the deep fried mars bars

turn of the computer

Go for a long run

you'll get little sympathy in General topics!

Try weight watchers or the health forum on TV.

CCC

[YeahSiam]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

LOL

Bit harsh but the message comes correct.

Being fat is a serious no-no.

It's 80% diet and 20% exercise. Go low carb - not easy in LOS, I know - and hit the gym for cardio and resistance training.

I got fat here with all the street food, sedentary job and beer but when I lost the weight - only 8kg - all the cool stuff I had in the wardrobe suddenly fit me again

It feels great and the weight needn't go back on if you make the decision to change the way you eat. I love rice, noodles but I can only eat that stuff one day a week and when I do, I go for it. Egg & bacon croissants, caffe latte, blueberry cheesecake and Almond Magnums

It's a sacrifice but when women coo as you take off your shirt rather than recoil in horror at your gut (I fully expect to get ripped to pieces over this ), it does seem worthwhile.

[ava15]

15 minutes jog or stroll every morning - make it as routine as brushing your teeth. Just another essential morning thing.

Weigh yourself on the first day & then once every week. Make note of your weight. This helps motivate.

Dont booze more than once a week. Eat good food.

Worked for me - now im gorgeous!

[andrew]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

LOL

Bit harsh but the message comes correct.

Being fat is a serious no-no.

It's 80% diet and 20% exercise. Go low carb - not easy in LOS, I know - and hit the gym for cardio and resistance training.

I got fat here with all the street food, sedentary job and beer but when I lost the weight - only 8kg - all the cool stuff I had in the wardrobe suddenly fit me again

It feels great and the weight needn't go back on if you make the decision to change the way you eat. I love rice, noodles but I can only eat that stuff one day a week and when I do, I go for it. Egg & bacon croissants, caffe latte, blueberry cheesecake and Almond Magnums

It's a sacrifice but when women coo as you take off your shirt rather than recoil in horror at your gut (I fully expect to get ripped to pieces over this ), it does seem worthwhile.

Good post.

I get the impression that you stay in shape for the girlies. I'm cool with that.

Like you say, "it does seem worthwhile".

But there are other issues, too.

When you're in shape, you get quality women. And quality women equals quality exercise. I guess you know what I mean.

Stay cool.

[armedian]

Thanks all for the replies!

There are many ways to treat depression, the best being drug - free IMO, using CBT.

Thanks, what drugs? Regarding CBT, I'm used to practice EFT which I believe is similar?

Just be happy with who you are. Life is short and too short to worry.

Good luck mate.

Thanks mate, you too!

Where I live (in the sticks) There is a Thai about the same age and weight you are. He always has a smile on his face and happy. He makes my day whenever I see him. No one seems to look down on him. I certainly don't.

That's a nice story. I believe Thai mentality isn't the same as the western one regarding obesity? The problem is not how others are looking at me, but how I see myself, and how I feel in my body. I could be fat and happy, but I'm not

You wrote how you have lost weight before. So you back to that routine and walk minimum 1 hour a day. Write down all you eat on a day with the number of calories next to it. I lost 17 kgs on that way in 4 months. Drunk some beers regularly as well and ate snacks and sweets limited. Do not weigh yourself everyday/week. On that way slowly but sure you loose weight. DISCIPLINE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Technically I know how to do it (I've read many books regarding nutrition/digestion), so that's not the problem. It's just that I can't seem to stick to it long enough, I can loose many Kg in a month, but then regain it all within 2 or 3 days. Very depressing.

[armedian]

You have to ask yourself which guy you're happier with,.....the skinny guy or the fat guy ?.I'm a little overweight and used to look at other men who were slim and slender and it used to piss me off.I'd get jealous and go on mad diets just to be like them.In the end,because of my silly thinking (not just about weight) I ended up suicidal.

If you're constantly comparing yourself to other men,then you'll never be satisfied.It'll only make you even more depressed.Go with what you know best,and what you're most comfortable with.I gave up trying to be like other people and just live my life as me.I've accepted who I am and moved on.Much happier these days because of it.

That other guy I'm looking at is myself a few months ago, when I was a skinny handsome man. I look at the pictures of myself and remember how good I was feeling. I've been obese for the past 10 years, but that few months window when I experienced what is was like to be skinny made me discover what I was missing, I lived a dream for a few months, and now I'm back to that nightmare again

consider a change in lifestyle instead of a diet mindset

Yes definitely. However from my experience that isn't enough. I have been traveling, discovering new things etc. but food is still the primary issue wherever I am, in whatever mood I am.

[armedian]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

Thanks! While it's motivating, I must disagree. Before loosing the 50 Kg I had a very active life with lots of daily exercise, however I was still eating bad food. When I read my first book about low-GI food I started eating differently (not less) and it all happened miraculously in a few months period. I didn't exercise more, I didn't eat less. I just stopped eating high-GI carbohydrates and replaced it with meat, vegetable, fruits and low-GI carbohydrates (lens, beans, nuts, almonds, etc.).

[armedian]

Being fat is a serious no-no.

It's 80% diet and 20% exercise. Go low carb - not easy in LOS, I know - and hit the gym for cardio and resistance training.

I would say that it's even 95% food and 5% exercise (from my own personal experience of loosing 50 kg in a 6-months period).

I was used to avoid eating rice/noodles here, whenever I was eating out then I would order specifically without rice (mehao kao), and usually 4 or 5 portions, mostly meat.

[MrRealDeal]

If being healthy is something you can achieve and seems like you did , but can't maintain and question if it's even worth doing , which it seems like what you said , your depression problems are probably due to something else and the weight issue a result of that not the cause of it.

[armedian]

your depression problems are probably due to something else and the weight issue a result of that not the cause of it.

I start to believe in this theory! The weight issue is the result of my depression, not the cause.

What's wrong with me?

[armedian]

I can feel with you, as I am obese too. I had 135 kilos, managed to loose 20 kilos in 4 months, and then jo joed back. now I am 150 kilos and in the recent weeks cut my eating habits into half and started to move ( walk, doing gymnastics) so literally keep the sweat running.

The first 15 or so kilos are always the water, and before your body starts to burn fat, you must reduce calories intake and signal your body to feast on the excess fats.

As some other poster said, discipline involved, your morale should be OK, don't desperate, as you know you can always do it again. Depending on your size, i think that 100 kilo is an acceptable weight, and it's possible to keep once that lifestyle has gotten you into high morale mode.

Just don't worry, be happy. It would be different if you were sick or had diabetes. You are stil far from that and you can change your lifestyle a bit because you already know exactly what to do.

I quit smoking 13 years ago, this catapulted me from 110 towards 135 within 3 months ! But I'd rather be obese than start smoking again.

Reading your post really helped me remind my own situation and strengthened my committment to keep up a low carbohydrate / minimal sugar - diet all the way until dear results show, and if it shall be X-mas . . no worries, mate, check my avatar, I was shaped by Miguel Angel, he had a sense for beauty !

Thanks for your message The weight I feel comfortable with for my size is about 70 Kg, so even if I weighted 100 Kg I'd be far from it!

[MrRealDeal]

I have no way of knowing that nor could I say for sure I am correct it's just a thought. Often times depression is a lot more complicated than it seems. I would advise you go to a doctor not an internet forum if you really want to improve your health.

[armedian]

I have no way of knowing that nor could I say for sure I am correct it's just a thought. Often times depression is a lot more complicated than it seems. I would advise you go to a doctor not an internet forum if you really want to improve your health.

Yes I should seek help from a therapist, I'm sure it would be helpful... Any recommendations? I don't think there are many psychotherapists in Thailand that would apprehend the complexity of a western soul, hahaha!

[Eesat]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

How can you seriously give out advice on self-control when you've admitted to having to get your account suspended to stop posting on here?Is that weak and disgusting too?Are you a self-loathing failure?

[YaiJung]

You can talk to therapists until you are blue in the face, but it won't shed the lbs. Only one way. Eat less garbage and exercise more. You have only one life to live, being a reasonable weight will make everything better.

Your depression is probably a result of being fat. I go through the same thing. When I am fat I feel horrible. Everybody is the same. Anyone who says they are comfortable being fat is FoS.

Go running. No excuses. If you run 30 min 4-5X per week you can eat normal meals that taste good, without having to resort to a depressingly bland diet. I see my friends control their weight by eating like a rabbit. Personally that isn't for me. I love pizza, burgers, rice, curry, mocha frappaccinos, etc. so I run.

Thailand is a great place to exercise. So many interesting places to walk/run.

Edited June 23, 2013 by YaiJung

[Eesat]

If being healthy is something you can achieve and seems like you did , but can't maintain and question if it's even worth doing , which it seems like what you said , your depression problems are probably due to something else and the weight issue a result of that not the cause of it.

Have to agree,it could be anything from relationship problems to work problems to Seasonal Affective Disorder,or lack of sunlight!

[Eesat]

I have no way of knowing that nor could I say for sure I am correct it's just a thought. Often times depression is a lot more complicated than it seems. I would advise you go to a doctor not an internet forum if you really want to improve your health.

Yes I should seek help from a therapist, I'm sure it would be helpful... Any recommendations? I don't think there are many psychotherapists in Thailand that would apprehend the complexity of a western soul, hahaha!

You can certainly analyse yourself and try to see when you started to gain weight and what was happening in your life at that time?If you're comfort eating what started it and is it still happening?Did you have some trauma in your life that kick-started the whole cycle off?

Only you know the answers to these questions.

[andrew]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

How can you seriously give out advice on self-control when you've admitted to having to get your account suspended to stop posting on here?Is that weak and disgusting too?Are you a self-loathing failure?

Dude, I'm sure you're a decent guy.

But you seem angry. You seem like a man with issues.

That's fair enough. Life here in Thailand is fraught with problems and difficulties.

I've now got over all of the problems engendered by my separation a couple of years ago. I've dealt with alcohol issues and the loss of my house and vast amounts of money.

----------------------------------

You clearly have issues of your own. Address them and deal with them.

Be strong. I wish you well.

[theblether]

He's certainly Mister Angry. I don't think he likes his life. Shame that, I love mine.

[yoslim]

why do you care so much ? A stunning girl here will always go for the rich guy... not the nice built guy.. either join a gym and start enjoying a lifting lifestyle, proper diet will follow as you will want more results in the gym or otherwise just give up and enjoy life

[Eesat]

He's certainly Mister Angry. I don't think he likes his life. Shame that, I love mine.

You love being 150 kilos plus?Doubtful!