Off topic twaddle removed.

Over confidence is the issue, they think that they truly are " hansum men " because the Thai ladies put up with their nonsense. Just tell them that they are not your type and leave it at that, of they come back at you just tell them that not only are they not your type, you also don't like getting harassed by men that should know better.

That'll puncture them.......and if it doesn't, call security.

Over confidence is the issue, they think that they truly are " hansum men " because the Thai ladies put up with their nonsense. Just tell them that they are not your type and leave it at that, of they come back at you just tell them that not only are they not your type, you also don't like getting harassed by men that should know better.

That'll puncture them.......and if it doesn't, call security.

Clearly you are not a woman. What you advise doesn't remotely "puncture" this type of man.

yep. 'theblether' is clearly not a woman.

Far be it from me to judge what 'type of man' he is.

but theblether's not 'hitting on' me so...

SP

heterosexual male with Thai wife

Smiley bloke doing a wai.

Yes I know he is not a woman. My point is that men do not know much, if anything, about the sort of problems women have vis-a-vis aggressive overtures from men. They know their own behavior/likely reaction but not much about the behavior of other men in this regard...as evidenced by the very naive suggestions offered. OP would not have bothered to post -- would not have a problem at all -- if the men in question responded to being told she was not interested.

This was posted in the Ladies forum for a reason.

Usually when I get hit on by a married man, I first ask, "does your wife know that you are gay?" If that does nothing to stop the unwanted advances, I say, "I'm not gay, so please go harrass someone else!"

Just kidding.

Telling them you are not interested should be enough. Unless you happen to be in a go go bar but I would not expect you would be.

Having read this again, I now see that the OP is likely looking for another woman's input and point of view and even experience. .... But she did suggest responses from men and women.

After several references to:

Quote//

This was posted in the Ladies forum for a reason.//

I get it now and I would have kept quiet if a little more obvious.

Usually when I get hit on by a married man, I first ask, "does your wife know that you are gay?" If that does nothing to stop the unwanted advances, I say, "I'm not gay, so please go harrass someone else!"

Just kidding.

Telling them you are not interested should be enough. Unless you happen to be in a go go bar but I would not expect you would be.

"Should" be, of course. But isn't, hence her post.

You'd be surprised at how aggressive and persistant some men are. And no, not in go go bars. In everyday places.

Edited July 8, 201313 yr by theblether

For some reason the topic has now taken a turn towards aggression, that's not what I read in the OP.

As a recipient of many (thousands) of rebuttals from attractive European women, I can say with some authority that the following is the best possible cause of action:

1. Look at him as though he just crawled out of the gene pool swamp.

2. Say (very quietly, and with a snarl on your face)...."go with you? You jumped up pratt, I'd rather slit my throat."

Works for me

I stick by my f off. Rather amusing to say it in front of friends. And the poor wee recipient scurries off.

I'm getting too old for all this crap, I don't have a lot of money at the moment. So when i do go out it's special.

If that's you in your display pic, you can't really blame them. Just take it as a compliment and move on.

Sheryl is correct, whilst not workmates they are people I see every day. I do not have this problem with the Western men with Western wives here so that is really a moot point

F* off, although tempting is not an option. Someone who ignores, "No thank you I am not interested" is behaving in an aggressive manner I believe. A simple "No" should suffice but often it does not.

I do like the "You?" suggestion but again, these are people I must deal with socially from time to time so polite is best. I have so far never had a Thai man that I meet with socially that behaves in the same way as the Western men. Perhaps they do believe the hype and can't fathom why a woman would be uninterested.

As for the poster who calls my veracity into question, I did ask for polite suggestions. Perhaps you are not aware of that request or do not comprehend it's meaning.

I think a firm "I do not believe in adultery, it is against my religion/values" for the married ones and a "I don't much care for the type of man who cheats on his girlfriend" for those with gf is probably the best avenue in this situation. It avoids the fact that you find them unappealing which (1) they won't fathom and (2) could offend.

Failing that, make up a fictional long-distance romance with someone you really love and would never cheat on. I find men can always accept the idea that you're not available because another guy got there first. They just can't comprehend that an unattached women wouldn't be up for grabs to everyone with a y chromosome.

LH,

May I humbly recommend that when the occasion arises that these men try to steer a conversation towards unwanted activities, attempt to steer it back towards their gf/wife. Ask about her and him; how is she doing? how is the man's relationship with her going? do they have any vacation plans coming up? Not in a nasty way, but in a somewhat sincere manner. Compliment her in front of him (if you know her at all). This often works like a cold shower, defusing the "excitement" of cheating.

Basically what I'm saying is when a man seeks to cheat, the LAST thing he wants to talk or think about is the person he is cheating on. Believe it or not men are quite susceptible to feelings of guilt, and it is compounded if the guilt is being subtly laid on him by a woman he is attracted to/admires. A smart guy will recognize what you are doing and back off. The loons may take the opportunity to launch into a rant against their significant other, thinking they can turn you against her, thus making the illicit activities "not so bad". Softly question him, perhaps even defend her and there is a strong chance the topic of infidelity will fade when he sees he can't turn you to his side.

The only reason I recommend this strategy is that I got the feeling you wanted a somewhat "softer" approach as you will likely see these guys again.

For some reason the topic has now taken a turn towards aggression, that's not what I read in the OP.

Perhaps because you're exhibiting the same attitude that the OP is complaining about?

For some reason the topic has now taken a turn towards aggression, that's not what I read in the OP.

Perhaps because you're exhibiting the same attitude that the OP is complaining about?

Nonsense, it was another member that decided that the OP was dealing with aggressive behaviour, maybe it's time for the OP to come back and clarify if she is feeling physically intimidated.

It's one thing to feel pestered, something else again to feel intimidated.

"aggressive" does not necessarily mean physical intimidation. In fact, it does not usually. But it does suggest strong overtures that persist despite being actively discouraged by the recipient.

A common event in the lives of most women. I find that the majority of men, who would not do this, are very unaware of what some men do and what women as a result have to put up with.

I'm not trying to be "aggressive" towards you, Bleth. I'm just trying to point out that as a male you may not have the experience to understand what the OP is talking about.

For some reason the topic has now taken a turn towards aggression, that's not what I read in the OP.

Perhaps because you're exhibiting the same attitude that the OP is complaining about?

Nonsense, it was another member that decided that the OP was dealing with aggressive behaviour, maybe it's time for the OP to come back and clarify if she is feeling physically intimidated.

It's one thing to feel pestered, something else again to feel intimidated.

Who knows.

Ladies forum TB. Might be best to leave it?

Maybe, however the OP did ask for male input so how about we wait on her? Until then, silence from me.

Maybe, however the OP did ask for male input so how about we wait on her? Until then, silence from me.

Help me out on the Snowden threads in the meantime? Regards. SP

Since you've clearly stated that Western men with Thai wives are the specific demographic that target you:

- Are you single? It could be your percieved 'availability' that is causing this persistent behavior.

I would find it surprising that married Western men would hit on taken Western women, esp. in Thailand.

I won't deny that maybe it happens, but it would be the exception, rather than the rule.

If your percieved 'relationship status' were to change / if they saw you with a companion they think is your date/partner, I think they will back off completely.

Which brings me to my next point: Do you have a close male friend that is willing to masquerade as your date/ boyfriend?

This might put them off.

Ridiculous knee-jerk verbal rebukes such as F-Off, will only add fuel to the fire, and most likely not work.

Good luck.

Some of the comments on this thread is why we limit male content in the ladies forum. Many men are unable to accept that their male opinion might not be right when it comes to women, womens issues & problems that women face on a daily basis, sometimes from men.

So here is a little FYI; Having a penis doesn't make your opinions more valid than a womans. m'kay.

How's that for aggressive?

think I'll stick with my Thai wife.

good for you.

Some of the coments on this thread is why we limit male content in the ladies forum. Many men are unable to accept that their male opinion might not be right when it comes to women, womens issues & problems that women face on a daily basis, sometimes from men.

So here is a little FYI; Having a penis doesn't make your opinions more valid than a womans. m'kay.

How's that for aggressive?

Which is why I've read this thread without commenting thus far.... It does make me wonder why when ladies show a preference to a female point of view do some men impose theirs which are o often way off the mark...

Edited July 10, 201312 yr by richard_smith237

It's not a case on not wanting male opinion, they provide good prespectives on many things but when several women have actually posted that, no, what has been suggested or said, is not useful/supportive etc & that the op & other women do suffer these issues regularly, that some male posters still wont have that it that their opinion wasn't the resolution to all our problems!!.

There is no desire to learn something new it seems.

Which is why I've read this thread without commenting thus far.... It does make me wonder why when ladies show a preference to a female point of view do some men impose theirs which are o often way off the mark...

Beats me. Also beast me why on earth a man would think he'd be in a position to advise on this.

I'm white. I wouldn't dream of trying to give advice to a black person on dealing with rascism, since I realize this is a whole realm of experience that I have not personally had and that anything I might suggest would likely be wide of the mark.

Which is why I've read this thread without commenting thus far.... It does make me wonder why when ladies show a preference to a female point of view do some men impose theirs which are o often way off the mark...

Beats me. Also beast me why on earth a man would think he'd be in a position to advise on this.

I'm white. I wouldn't dream of trying to give advice to a black person on dealing with rascism, since I realize this is a whole realm of experience that I have not personally had and that anything I might suggest would likely be wide of the mark.

You really don't think men can offer helpful advice about how to deal with aggressive men?

Just as women have a better understanding of other women, wouldn't men have a better understanding of other men?

Edited July 10, 201312 yr by kblaze