More than a few times I have had married men come on to me very strongly. I try to be polite, its a relatively small place after all, but how do I tell these men, all Westerners with Thai wives I should point out, that I am not interested in a fling with a married man?

I welcome polite suggestions from both men and women but I am more interested in what the women have found to be the most successful means of managing this issue.

A simple ill just tell your wife what you just did would suffice? That being said can i ask you out then ,im not married either

I just firmly say that I don't go out/play around with married men, period. You might even try "I don't approve of adultery" in a tone which makes clear what you think of people who do.

Sometimes they know already that it's no go and just do this to show off, thinking it makes them look virile. Needless to say, men like that are in the category of those who protesteth too much....

That;s if it is farang men you mean.

Now for Thai men, try telling them pointedly that adultery is against your religion. This has a special zap to it since adultery is also a violation of the basic Buddhist precepts (as they well know) so should shut them right up.

I do not think threatening to tell the wife would have much effect. I imagine most wives prefer to believe their man over some woman.

Telling them I don't approve of adultery could work on the married men but not the ones with girlfriends. Some can be very persistent and it is quite surprising that a simple "No thank you, you have a wife or you have a girlfriend" does not suffice

I do not think threatening to tell the wife would have much effect. I imagine most wives prefer to believe their man over some woman.

Telling them I don't approve of adultery could work on the married men but not the ones with girlfriends. Some can be very persistent and it is quite surprising that a simple "No thank you, you have a wife or you have a girlfriend" does not suffice

surprises me as well !

you must be very attractive

what do they say after you tell them you are not interested?

Not married, just having a girlfriend is a bit different especially if not living together.

You could try "I don't like the kind of man who cheats on his girlfriend".

There are some men though who I find will never believe they can't have you if they know you are single. The logic seems to be something along the lines of "All women need a man. She doesn't have one now, so she needs one, ASAP. I'm a man, therefore she urgently needs me".

With those types the best thing in my experience is to lie and say you already have a BF. That you are not interested in them because you have another man is something they can wrap their heads around. That you prefer having no man to being with them, simply does not compute in their minds.

Just tell them to f off, and stop annoying you. Or "Does I'm not interested not register in your pea brain?"

It happens all over the world. Jeez, if a woman can't go out for a quiet drink without being hit upon by a weirdo....

Just tell them to f off, and stop annoying you. Or "Does I'm not interested not register in your pea brain?"

It happens all over the world. Jeez, if a woman can't go out for a quiet drink without being hit upon by a weirdo....

hit upon is ok, what's not ok is that people don't go away after being told off.

Whatever happened to just saying 'no thanks'.

Just tell them to f off, and stop annoying you. Or "Does I'm not interested not register in your pea brain?"

It happens all over the world. Jeez, if a woman can't go out for a quiet drink without being hit upon by a weirdo....

If you think that's bad, try going for a few beers in a bar as a male and see how many offers you get. After all, we aren't weirdos, we're hansum.

^^ only in Thailand though.

Tell them you are flattered by their interest.......you already have someone in your life and you would not cheat on them.

A swift knee in the nads sorts them out...

Stop it you lot!! A woman has a right to say f off, a woman has a right to say it twice and can go on ad nauseum.

Whether she is white black yellow or whatever.

We can go out and enjoy ourselves without some oafs sliding along the bar say "hello lovely, you're really bootiful". In any language.

I just wave my hand as if they were a rather pesky fly and carry on with my conversation.

Don't be a softy woman thing about it. If the person annoys you tell him straight. And dont worry about anything happening because you pushed him away, cos he's married or has a girlfriend!!!

And if it persists report for harrassement (don't know it that exists in Thailand).

Well, got that over with!!!! I can breath...

Edited July 5, 201313 yr by Patsycat

I'm usually polite and try to make a joke about it, but if the guy is persistent then I do like Patsy and tell them to F*** off. The few Thai men who hit on me were shorter than me and I didn't find them attractive, so I just ignored them. I don't know if they were married or not.

forgive me for being forward, but i must say, that if you look anything like your photo, i understand why the sad bastards try it on

Which guy would actually tell he has a wife or gf if he is out for good sex? I'm not single and don't cheat, but if I would want to cheat for whatever reason, I'd probably say I miss having a nice girlfriend

OP .... Sorry but is this a hiss take? What would you do in your home country? The issue you discuss happens the world over, not just Thailand. Or is there something else you've not mentioned yet?

how about saying "I am not interested in a fling with a married man" now f*** off back to your wife.

OP .... Sorry but is this a hiss take? What would you do in your home country? The issue you discuss happens the world over, not just Thailand. Or is there something else you've not mentioned yet?

Suggest you note that this is the ladies forum and as such the rules are slightly different. OP has asked for polite responses and yet you fail to grasp this.

IMO the deep cut is when the reply is more personal such as "you?" with a look of discuss or repulsion. This does not require making vulgar remarks not painting ones self into a pigeon hole.

I always recommend my friends to play silly and just ignore if it is a Thai man as a face saving measure and also some take rejection strangely/aggressively. If it is foreigners just feel free to put your foot down and remove yourself from the situation if need be.

I always recommend my friends to play silly and just ignore if it is a Thai man as a face saving measure and also some take rejection strangely/aggressively.

Tickle them and totally unexpected.

I agree "xxxx off" ought to work. If not tell them you don't get involved in any of those kind of affairs anymore since "the incident". "What incident" they may ask? The incident where the wife/girlfriend found out and had her family members murder the offender.

OP may be referring to men she knows/has to work with or otherwise deal with ion a regular basis. Which does complicate matters and makes a "<deleted> off" response less viable.

I that situation you have to walk a thin line, finding a way to be definitively discouraging enough while still being able to maintain civil relations.

Now for Thai men, try telling them pointedly that adultery is against your religion. This has a special zap to it since adultery is also a violation of the basic Buddhist precepts (as they well know) so should shut them right up.

It's a pity that somebody didn't tell monk Luang Pu Nen Kham Chattiko that before he "married" a 14 year old girl and apparently had physical relationships with 7 other women.

...all Westerners with Thai wives I should point out,'

Suggestion: exactly the same way you deal with Westerners with non-Thai wives?

Assuming your post is not just wishfull thinking, how about just being polite with,

sorry i'm washing my hair tonight (and every night for the next 3 months)

sorry i'm a lesbian

A swift knee in the nads sorts them out...

Jesus dont give advice like this, if it is compulsive please contact protect nuts ananimous

A swift cut to the truth is always very effective.