Girlfriend threatening Suicide

[chrisinth]

Usually someone threatening suicide is putting out a cry for help. Listening does help, but you ultimately need professional care to properly evaluate the situation.

People who are serious about it just do it..............

Usually saying they will is a cry for attention. People that commit suicide just go and do it.

I hate being repetitive but I simply can't stomach the way people keep repeating this same simplistic meme - especially if they do so as if it is absolute and universal fact. There are COUNTLESS cases - many of them prominent - of people voicing their desire to die and eventually killing themselves or coming close to it. More to the point, and the reason that a while no doubt people who say it mean no harm - casual and assured comments like the above almost literally sicken me...

I have had two people (in different periods) tell me and others, repeatedly, they wanted to kill themselves. Both of whom I cared about one of whom was very important to me:

I discovered one body and watched another die.

Hi Joe, The comments I made were from personal experience as well. Please note that I didn't say they should be ignored and that if you are not qualified then professional help should be sought. My actual wording was:

"...but you ultimately need professional care to properly evaluate the situation".

For info, knowing everybody's circumstances are different, the 7 or 8 cases that I witnessed over a 23 year period where people claimed to want to commit suicide, only one got to the stage where they attempted it (unsuccessfully).

I know it doesn't always work like that, and I do feel for your losses. I also understand your viewpoint on this subject, very clearly from the examples given.

[lemoncake]

The thing with Thai is that some will actually follow through with it.

If you off, might be easier to walk away, though personally if i loved her i would help.

Here are some suggestions

1. Take her to temple, either daily or put her in for a month, it helps to relax and perhaps "see the light"

2. Speak with Monk and ask for help

3. There is/are help offices, i know there is one in Pattaya(not sure if its good for you, but no doubt have others)

4. Doctor would be a wise choice, though i do not have much faith in Thai professionals in this field

5. Last, start to put some prozac into her drinks or food.

The last statement is ridiculous and dangerous. The administration of new anti depressants to patients with depression can increase suicidal ideation, hence it is important that the person is assessed correctly before commencing any medication. Some people should be a lot more careful about what they post.

This should be a Doctor, and or support from a Monk.

Prozac is an anti depressant, it is not new nor an experimental drug.

Prozac does not increase suicidal ideation, and if you notice it was last on the list of my suggestions

Some of your points are decent enough but your last one stinks and seems it wasn't made in jest.. at least admit you were wrong. As toad says, ideation is a possibility on this stuff (everyone's brain is different), along with a huge number of other side effects that a person already going through hard times does not really want to potentially experience. And this when properly assessed/prescribed and tapered by a P.doc. Stop messing around!

Go see local doctor and then tell me i am wrong.

About 10 years ago, i had a GF who did not threaten but did cut her wrists, and i did take her to a SPECIALIST, who simply gave her prozac.

LIke it or not, thats how it was dealt with and it did help for a while, until she came off it, next was the attempt to jump from the balcony of condo on 26th floor.

Again, i did not say it was an ideal or ultimate solution hence why it was last on my list not first.

[SteeleJoe]

Usually someone threatening suicide is putting out a cry for help. Listening does help, but you ultimately need professional care to properly evaluate the situation.

People who are serious about it just do it..............

Usually saying they will is a cry for attention. People that commit suicide just go and do it.

I hate being repetitive but I simply can't stomach the way people keep repeating this same simplistic meme - especially if they do so as if it is absolute and universal fact. There are COUNTLESS cases - many of them prominent - of people voicing their desire to die and eventually killing themselves or coming close to it. More to the point, and the reason that a while no doubt people who say it mean no harm - casual and assured comments like the above almost literally sicken me...

I have had two people (in different periods) tell me and others, repeatedly, they wanted to kill themselves. Both of whom I cared about one of whom was very important to me:

I discovered one body and watched another die.

Hi Joe, The comments I made were from personal experience as well. Please note that I didn't say they should be ignored and that if you are not qualified then professional help should be sought. My actual wording was:

"...but you ultimately need professional care to properly evaluate the situation".

For info, knowing everybody's circumstances are different, the 7 or 8 cases that I witnessed over a 23 year period where people claimed to want to commit suicide, only one got to the stage where they attempted it (unsuccessfully).

I know it doesn't always work like that, and I do feel for your losses. I also understand your viewpoint on this subject, very clearly from the examples given.

Thanks for your thoughtful response. I did say that I was sure you meant no harm and I did note - and deliberately included in my quote - of your caution regarding professional help. However, I was bothered by the finality and absolute nature of your closing - it simply isn't so cut and dried or anywhere near that and I think it's dangerous to convince people it is and I also feel it, deliberately or not (the latter in your case, I'm sure) makes light of the pain and danger some people are in when they speak of self- harm.

I think I have already acknowledged at least once in this thread what is to me an obvious and widely known fact: people (yes, perhaps especially Thai women) use such threats as conscious or unconscious manipulation. Nonetheless, it is quite simply an objective fact that a significant number of people who kill themselves speak of doing so, and even greater number who attempted it (regardless of how genuine the effort is deemed to be), do eventually kill themselves. There's a wide range of numbers in various studies - some go as high as 80% - but even if there's a tiny chance, how can people with so little knowledge of a person and her situation tell someone who cares about her in effect they needn't worry because the fact she spoke of it means she won't do it?

I had convinced myself of the same thing. Even after watching stomach pumping of drugs overdoses and stitches from sliced wrists...I live with that and have for decades. I don't dwell on it at all, but needless to say, it's not a pleasant burden.

Again, thanks for your kind words and no offense meant or taken.

[Eesat]

Tough call man but best to walk away. She needs help and until she gets it will drag anyone and anything down this spiral she is falling though.

I take it you've never had a friend commit suicide then?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Tough call man but best to walk away. She needs help and until she gets it will drag anyone and anything down this spiral she is falling though.

I take it you've never had a friend commit suicide then?

Why do so many want to interfere in the life of others.

If someone wants to kill themselves, let them do it. Up to them.

[Eesat]

Tough call man but best to walk away. She needs help and until she gets it will drag anyone and anything down this spiral she is falling though.

I take it you've never had a friend commit suicide then?

Why do so many want to interfere in the life of others.

If someone wants to kill themselves, let them do it. Up to them.

Would that apply to your own children or family?

[Neeranam]

Take her to a temple or meditation centre. I'd avoid doctors as most haven't a clue about treatments like CBT, which is the best thing for depression. Most psychiatrist will fill her full of drugs, turning her into a zombie and not getting tot the root of the problem.

There are some good, qualified therapists around but they are rather expensive - 5000 baht an hour or so.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Tough call man but best to walk away. She needs help and until she gets it will drag anyone and anything down this spiral she is falling though.

I take it you've never had a friend commit suicide then?

Why do so many want to interfere in the life of others.

If someone wants to kill themselves, let them do it. Up to them.

Would that apply to your own children or family?

Why not.

[aTomsLife]

I was waiting for this thread to be started by aTomslife

Thankfully, no

[SteeleJoe]

Tough call man but best to walk away. She needs help and until she gets it will drag anyone and anything down this spiral she is falling though.

I take it you've never had a friend commit suicide then?

Why do so many want to interfere in the life of others.

If someone wants to kill themselves, let them do it. Up to them.

Would that apply to your own children or family?

Why not.

Says it all, doesn't it?

[Scully]

If this girl is and has suffered clinical depression before, there is a small but very real chance she could try to end it. Depression can be life changing and she should seriously seek professional medical advice.

[jamhar]

realenglish1

'She is pressured by her job her future'

Why don't you give a little more detail to the above - which would appear to be an area of concern you have picked up on?

Good god NO!!

If you haven't noticed, this is not the right "forum" for this kind of advice.

Hope you find the answers you seek bro

but except for a few cases, constructive, compassionate advice are generally not available on TV.

Bullying, skepticism, and cynicism is available by the bucket full.

Just my personal experience..........

Edit:

If you are serious, follow Scully's advice above. I'm sure you can google, or ask your doctor for contact numbers, if others haven't given you contact info already.

Edited July 3, 2013 by jamhar

[Beetlejuice]

There is no such thing as an attempted suicide. It`s merely a form of attention seeking. If a person really wishes to die, than there are ways and means to ensure success.

Many of the major big hospitals in Thailand have a psychiatric unit. Make an appointment for your GF to see a psychiatrist and offer to accompany her for support.

If the girlfriend shows no interest or refuses your offer, than make her your x-girlfriend, as I doubt there is much hope for her and you may have extreme problems later on if you decide to marry this woman, especially if considering starting a family with her. Your life could turn into a living hell.

Now, would I lie to you?

[SteeleJoe]

There is no such thing as an attempted suicide. It`s merely a form of attention seeking. If a person really wishes to die, than there are ways and means to ensure success.

Imbecile.

That's the kindest thing I can think of to say about you (but it is not a complete description - that would not be allowed).

Edited July 3, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[Chicog]

Significance is drugs do not eradicate the problem, but only fix it short term and is not an ideal solution, however is an option in the mean time or while in search of a perm solution

More importantly, the *right* drugs need to be prescribed, Prozac is a catch all for lazy doctors.

[SteeleJoe]

The thing with Thai is that some will actually follow through with it.

If you off, might be easier to walk away, though personally if i loved her i would help.

Here are some suggestions

1. Take her to temple, either daily or put her in for a month, it helps to relax and perhaps "see the light"

2. Speak with Monk and ask for help

3. There is/are help offices, i know there is one in Pattaya(not sure if its good for you, but no doubt have others)

4. Doctor would be a wise choice, though i do not have much faith in Thai professionals in this field

5. Last, start to put some prozac into her drinks or food.

The last statement is ridiculous and dangerous. The administration of new anti depressants to patients with depression can increase suicidal ideation, hence it is important that the person is assessed correctly before commencing any medication. Some people should be a lot more careful about what they post.

This should be a Doctor, and or support from a Monk.

Prozac is an anti depressant, it is not new nor an experimental drug.

Prozac does not increase suicidal ideation, and if you notice it was last on the list of my suggestions

Some of your points are decent enough but your last one stinks and seems it wasn't made in jest.. at least admit you were wrong. As toad says, ideation is a possibility on this stuff (everyone's brain is different), along with a huge number of other side effects that a person already going through hard times does not really want to potentially experience. And this when properly assessed/prescribed and tapered by a P.doc. Stop messing around!

Go see local doctor and then tell me i am wrong.

About 10 years ago, i had a GF who did not threaten but did cut her wrists, and i did take her to a SPECIALIST, who simply gave her prozac.

LIke it or not, thats how it was dealt with and it did help for a while, until she came off it, next was the attempt to jump from the balcony of condo on 26th floor.

Again, i did not say it was an ideal or ultimate solution hence why it was last on my list not first.

Remarkable. First you say when suggesting a visit to the doctor that you "do not have much faith in Thai professionals in this field" but when questioned on your seemingly fallacious but boldly absolute claim that Prozac can not cause or exacerbate suicidal ideation you cite as evidence that a local doctor gave some to your girlfriend - and further think that someone should verify your claim by a visit to a Thai doctor.

Do a Google. it's very easy to find something like this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2000/may/22/drugs.uknews

The drug company got in some trouble, as a matter of fact for covering up their own studies that discovered the potential danger...

[krisb]

Usually someone threatening suicide is putting out a cry for help. Listening does help, but you ultimately need professional care to properly evaluate the situation.

People who are serious about it just do it..............

Usually saying they will is a cry for attention. People that commit suicide just go and do it.

I hate being repetitive but I simply can't stomach the way people keep repeating this same simplistic meme - especially if they do so as if it is absolute and universal fact. There are COUNTLESS cases - many of them prominent - of people voicing their desire to die and eventually killing themselves or coming close to it. More to the point, and the reason that a while no doubt people who say it mean no harm - casual and assured comments like the above almost literally sicken me...

I have had two people (in different periods) tell me and others, repeatedly, they wanted to kill themselves. Both of whom I cared about one of whom was very important to me:

I discovered one body and watched another die.

Sorry, I didnt read the whole thread, Someone I know did just that. He put himself in a coma after gassing himself and when we talked to the doctors, they asked about any signs? there was none. He actually vacumed and cleaned his house and according to his house mate was happy that morning, and then took the vaccum hose and hooked it upto the car exhaust. Anyway the doctor said in his experience suicides usually happen this way, no talking or threats, they just do it. Sad. for what its worth, my friend is alive now, severley brain damaged and will alway have to have a carer. I hope your friend seeks help via family or friends op, best of luck.

[ebcal]

Like all threads on TV, some purely insensitive and not so good responses. But, hopefully most posters are able to sift through the rubbish and have a thick skin to ignore the flippant, insulting ones, and find the worthwhile feedback.

1. Regardless of %'s of those that actually follow through with suicide, would you feel guilty, if she was one of the few cases that did follow through and you did not do anything? Yes, she may not be serious, but unless you know for sure 100%, which you cant, then you should take it seriously. So, nice to know the %'s may favor that she would not follow through, but dont use those statistics as a reason to not take it seriously. Even if she is the one that has mentioned it before and not followed through, you never know if this one time might be the one time she does.

2. Those that say she should not consider the Monk option have a valid point in terms of diagnosing or finding a medical cure, but they also miss the point that it could help some. If she is Buddhist, then visiting or spending some time in a temple, talking to a Monk could help alleviate some of the stress, feelings of despair. I agree it would not serve to diagnose or cure her, but it could help improve her mental outlook, reduce stress, so these are things that could still help her situation. But, yes, only if she is Buddhist and believes in that, and IF she is logical and can carry on logical discussions with a Monk. If she is irrational, then conversations would likely not help. I have known Thai people at wits end or having trouble dealing with problems who visited the temple and talked to a monk and it helped them, though did not cure them from all their ills. But, maybe still something to consider in conjunction with visiting a doctor.

3. Seeing a doctor or contacting a clinic or hotline that can direct you or provide resources to help is obviously a good move. And those who say visit Psychologist, not Psychiatrist, not so sure you should restrict that. If it is a biological depression and not due to more to external events, then a Psychologist cannot prescribe medication, so seeing a Psychiatrist has that difference. To those who said you giving/slipping her drugs on your own is really a bad move, they are absolutely right. You are not a doctor, so no way you should give her any meds. And you would not want to be in a situation where some meds caused some wild behavior and were judged as playing a reason in her death, leading back to you slipping it in her food or giving it to her.

4. Should be left for a doctor to prescribe, but I think that making sure she gets good regular sleep, eats regularly and balanced regarding blood sugars, exercise regularly can all help some in stabilizing things that can exacerbate her condition. I am not a doctor, but have had experience with several people with mental illness or problems and have gone with friends who visited both Psychologist and Psychiatrists.

5. Notifying friends and family is also a good idea. With more people being aware, maybe others can help be a support network to help her and be more understanding of the situation. Things that can lower stress, provide more support are helpful, although are not the cure. But, it is likely that not one single thing will be the cure, so putting several things into action is probably beneficial. Having a support network of family and friends can help in this regard. And understanding the situation better could make it easier for you. Otherwise, if your GF were to really follow through with suicide, then maybe her friends and family would blame you for pushing her over the edge, or causing her to commits suicide. If they understand the situation better, then this would be less likely.

6. For those callously telling you to change your number or dump her immediately, remember they have no understanding of your feelings to her, so make the statement without any understanding from that view point. I would say they have a valid point, in that life with someone who is not always mentally stable can be difficult. However, ONLY you can judge how much you care for her, how much you love her, how much you will do for her, and whether you want to stay together with all this. So, do take notice that staying together with someone like that may not be easy, but only you can decide what you can tolerate and how far you will go and whether it is worth staying together with. And if you do decide to leave, try to do at least do it a time where she is in a better place with regards to other issues. And if you do decide to stay, then wish you patience, tolerance, love and good luck.

Edited July 3, 2013 by ebcal

[nami]

Hey mate,

I understand you want to help her, if you wanted to walk away you would have done it by now. I had suicidal tendencies and kind of attempts when I was younger, so maybe can help.

1. Don't try to handle it yourself alone, these situations require a psychiatrist and I most cases medications.

2. I would begin by dragging her to see a doc, if you can afford it go to a private one as the public ones usually rush through patients.

3. The main goal now should be to stabilize her and eliminate the chance of a suicide, most likely will require drugs that will modify her mood for good. After that, therapy should find the root and teach her how to deal with it, then take off medication gradually and go back to a normal life.

4. Keep in mind that the newer drugs and the not so mass market are usually pricey. Common selective inhibitors of serotonin are cheap but many medication would need to be tried in an individual before the doctor finds the most appropriate one. The more specialized or news can be around 3000 baht a pack that will last half or a month depending on severity.

5 for starting I would try a good doctor and make sure she feels comfortable with him/her. Usually takes some visits to find the right one because affinity is very important.

Be positive, don't let her mood drag you too because you won't be able to help. Arm yourself with loads of patience and don't lose your temper when she does stupid things, always try to rationalize everything.

There's light at the end of the tunnel. I don't take any more drugs now and I don't feel paranoia or depression. For me it was moving here and leave every medication, the people and culture here worked in my particular case.

Wish you the best of luck, don't lose the hope ;-)

I wish yo

[Eesat]

Usually someone threatening suicide is putting out a cry for help. Listening does help, but you ultimately need professional care to properly evaluate the situation.

People who are serious about it just do it..............

Usually saying they will is a cry for attention. People that commit suicide just go and do it.

I hate being repetitive but I simply can't stomach the way people keep repeating this same simplistic meme - especially if they do so as if it is absolute and universal fact. There are COUNTLESS cases - many of them prominent - of people voicing their desire to die and eventually killing themselves or coming close to it. More to the point, and the reason that a while no doubt people who say it mean no harm - casual and assured comments like the above almost literally sicken me...

I have had two people (in different periods) tell me and others, repeatedly, they wanted to kill themselves. Both of whom I cared about one of whom was very important to me:

I discovered one body and watched another die.

Sorry, I didnt read the whole thread, Someone I know did just that. He put himself in a coma after gassing himself and when we talked to the doctors, they asked about any signs? there was none. He actually vacumed and cleaned his house and according to his house mate was happy that morning, and then took the vaccum hose and hooked it upto the car exhaust. Anyway the doctor said in his experience suicides usually happen this way, no talking or threats, they just do it. Sad. for what its worth, my friend is alive now, severley brain damaged and will alway have to have a carer. I hope your friend seeks help via family or friends op, best of luck.

I had a friend I knew from when we were around 10 years old or even before that.He went out to India many years ago back in the day of the original full moon parties and got hooked on Heroin,he never really came back.

He split from his girlfriend and couldn't seem to get over it,so he locked himself away after he'd finished work for the day,everyone wondered where he was but no-one had see him,I'd been living abroad for many years already.

One night he drove his car up to the top of a 4-storey NCP car park,shut the door,walked up to the parapet and jumped head first to the pavement below.The police were suspicious at first and thought maybe he'd run into the wrong people because it's very unusual to land face first from 4 floors up,the CCTV footage proved otherwise.

The police advised his Mother not to look at what was left of him,he was about 6"2' and 18 stone.This was two weeks before my birthday and I flew back from Ibiza,where I was spending the season,to attend his funeral.I saw many people I hadn't seen for many years and we had an amazing time despite the occasion,as we knew that's what any of us would have wanted had we been him.

[Beetlejuice]

There is no such thing as an attempted suicide. It`s merely a form of attention seeking. If a person really wishes to die, than there are ways and means to ensure success.

Imbecile.

That's the kindest thing I can think of to say about you (but it is not a complete description - that would not be allowed).

It`s merely a form of attention seeking. If a person really wishes to die, than there are ways and means to ensure success.

Imbecile.

That's the kindest thing I can think of to say about you (but it is not a complete description - that would not be allowed).

You have not read my comments clearly or simply do not understand the situation, so I will try to elaborate for your benefit.

There is no such thing as a failed suicide attempt, these are really desperate cries for help, but it doesn’t mean to say that these people are not at high risk at committing self-harm or to eventually succeed in taking their own life.

And this is my point to the OP. If his girlfriend fails to recognise that she has a problem and refuses help, than there is not much else the OP can do and would be wise to just part company and let her get on with it, unless he is willing and able to become the long and suffering and stick by her.

These are the facts, as harsh as they may sound. Mental illness and deep depression is a terrible thing and something that cannot be cured in the short term; I have sincere deep sympathy for them. Some people can suffer from certain mental disorders for most of their lives and the OP should be aware of this fact before he gets himself any deeper involved into the relationship, especially if considering having children with her, have to consider their welfare also, although it seems he has already known her for a long time.

The bottom line is, that if this woman sincerely want`s this relationship to work, than she would take up an offer of support from the OP to determine what are her problems, otherwise it could simply be a case that this woman is just mixed up or is suffering from some kind of emotional turmoil and perhaps has issues she is keeping to herself.

I’m only telling it how it is, or what else would you prefer to hear? Because I don`t know of any other ways to explain this.

Edited July 3, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[nickmanchester2]

i see loads of them with scars on their wrists - think it is self harm or attempted suicide... best to keep away

[chrisinth]

i see loads of them with scars on their wrists - think it is self harm or attempted suicide... best to keep away

A lot of those scars are from rice picking and working in the fields. Not that many with 'homeward bound' stitches across their wrists..........

[bina]

How many of you, living in your Christian country, would suggest, with the same circumstances, that the person just go "to confession" or talk to the bishop or whatever, in this case? You don't even know if the lady in question is religious, or what religion she follows

first of all, many of us, in jewish countries, still do use religious leaders or local places of worship for help , and we also have a plethora of psychiatrists and psychologists and social workers. but fore many many people, actually 'pastoral' help does help. not all stress and 'suicide' feelings are organic, rather a reflection of deep stress from work/family life, etc. and u dont have to be religious. but religious leaders are usually trained also in crisis intervention or at the very least, know how to listen, and make some sense of problems, with or without getting god or other deities involved. and monks play the role of social workers often in thailand.

secondly, although maybe this is changing, it seems that many thais dont as yet believe in psychology or psychiatry in the same way as , say, americans do. having a best friend who was hospitalized willingly during a psychotic episode, i know from my (yes, uneducatred,countryboy) thai husband that he was unable to understand the whole thing. his reaction was: send her to a wat in thailand. a thai friend of ours went off the deep end here in his last month of his visa/work; he went catatonic and was shipped back home to korat. the docs basically pumped him full of pills, released him to home, w/o explanations, followups, or blood checks (for the meds affecting liver etc). eventually, he stopped taking the meds, and went to a good wat, it seems that , although he isnt 100 %, he is back from wherever he was. his family and him put more store in monks then meds and docs, which means that most likely the monks method woould work best.

and third, it does seem to be a female thai method of manipulation in some instances (sort of teenagerish actions, when verbal expression or higher education or self knowlege is lacking) along the lines of 'if i dont get my way, i will stop eating'. however, thai women (again, depending upon socio economic elements) also know less about age /hormone related anxiety/depression and mental health. ive tried to find info to give my husband for instance, there is some, but english medical terms are used which are lost on him. menompause, premenopause, etc all have very real effects on daily feelings EVEN IF THE PERSON is generally a non emotional type. i can say with my own experiences that hormones can make someone very irrational and anxious (including all the symptoms, including feelings of depression and hopelessness).

so perhaps a regular blood checkup with a gyni, for thyroid, estrogen etc would also be called for, if u could convince her to go .

i do know that many thai women like to go to wats for a month or so for 'peace of mind' sort of like yoga retreats here, for 'cleaning the mind'. and claims of suicide are sometimes a way to express other things that they cant put in to words because of commincation /language glitches.

and, although people say: walk away, my friend's husband could have but didnt; our thai friend's wife could have but didnt; thats what being a couple is about. for bad or for good health or sickness. at least not without trying first.

bina

israel

[benalibina]

How many of you, living in your Christian country, would suggest, with the same circumstances, that the person just go "to confession" or talk to the bishop or whatever, in this case? You don't even know if the lady in question is religious, or what religion she follows

first of all, many of us, in jewish countries, still do use religious leaders or local places of worship for help , and we also have a plethora of psychiatrists and psychologists and social workers. but fore many many people, actually 'pastoral' help does help. not all stress and 'suicide' feelings are organic, rather a reflection of deep stress from work/family life, etc. and u dont have to be religious. but religious leaders are usually trained also in crisis intervention or at the very least, know how to listen, and make some sense of problems, with or without getting god or other deities involved. and monks play the role of social workers often in thailand. secondly, although maybe this is changing, it seems that many thais dont as yet believe in psychology or psychiatry in the same way as , say, americans do. having a best friend who was hospitalized willingly during a psychotic episode, i know from my (yes, uneducatred,countryboy) thai husband that he was unable to understand the whole thing. his reaction was: send her to a wat in thailand. a thai friend of ours went off the deep end here in his last month of his visa/work; he went catatonic and was shipped back home to korat. the docs basically pumped him full of pills, released him to home, w/o explanations, followups, or blood checks (for the meds affecting liver etc). eventually, he stopped taking the meds, and went to a good wat, it seems that , although he isnt 100 %, he is back from wherever he was. his family and him put more store in monks then meds and docs, which means that most likely the monks method woould work best.and third, it does seem to be a female thai method of manipulation in some instances (sort of teenagerish actions, when verbal expression or higher education or self knowlege is lacking) along the lines of 'if i dont get my way, i will stop eating'. however, thai women (again, depending upon socio economic elements) also know less about age /hormone related anxiety/depression and mental health. ive tried to find info to give my husband for instance, there is some, but english medical terms are used which are lost on him. menompause, premenopause, etc all have very real effects on daily feelings EVEN IF THE PERSON is generally a non emotional type. i can say with my own experiences that hormones can make someone very irrational and anxious (including all the symptoms, including feelings of depression and hopelessness).so perhaps a regular blood checkup with a gyni, for thyroid, estrogen etc would also be called for, if u could convince her to go .i do know that many thai women like to go to wats for a month or so for 'peace of mind' sort of like yoga retreats here, for 'cleaning the mind'. and claims of suicide are sometimes a way to express other things that they cant put in to words because of commincation /language glitches.and, although people say: walk away, my friend's husband could have but didnt; our thai friend's wife could have but didnt; thats what being a couple is about. for bad or for good health or sickness. at least not without trying first.binaisrael

Well written Bina, especially the last couple of lines !

[tomk]

Sorry to hear your issue. Hope you resolve it. Sounds like your girl needs some support and reassurance.

Its she's worried about her future maybe its a hint....5 years is a long time for a girl to wait