Why is it so hard to find a good man in Bangkok as a female farang?

[iluvbeaches]

There are lots of guys who would love to meet a great western girl In BKK. Best place is just face to face interaction around the city.

I know, I lived in Thailand for a long time but only dated tourists until I met my girl. We are both Europeans. Not all guys in Thailand hate western women and have some weird Asian fetish. Some guys just like the weather, lifestyle, prices and sanuk!

Be open to people who look interesting on the subway, malls and skype with potentials on craigslist and don't be scared if they talk to you. Who knows you might meet your future partner. Good luck!

[theblether]

Unfortunately a lot of women are disdainful and contemptuous of Western men here in Thailand. I have a few female friends here in Chiang Mai who are bloggers and the blogs range from " I can't believe I'm friends with older men " to " every where I look in Chiang Mai creepy old men are going around with young Thai women ".

I was out for lunch with an attractive 30 year old American the other day that wrote the "can't believe" blog. Of the two blogs that's the one annoys me more, so I asked her what her thinking was. To paraphrase.........

" When I came to Thailand I had a preconceived notion of what the men would be like here. I wrote that blog just after arriving ( a year ago ) and I'm embarrassed about it now. "

Why? It's because the older men here welcomed her with open arms and nothing was ever a bother for them. She has been overwhelmed by the friendliness and kindness shown to her.

In her year here only one older guy has behaved inappropriately to her, I know the guy, he's a lovely guy when sober but a serious *sshole when drunk.

We spoke about the blog her friend wrote, the "creepy" one. Her friend admitted that she was playing to the gallery, that blog post generated over 150 replies, her greatest response ever. However she couldn't name a single guy that was dating a woman that was too young for him, not one.

That's not to say that you don't see older guys having breakfast with hookers, but none of our mutual friends is in an age inappropriate relationship.

I actually asked my friend what her advice would be to any lady considering relocating to Thailand. She said, " leave your preconceived notions behind and come here with an open mind ".

Contrary to opinion, there's plenty of men here in Thailand that can't be bothered with Thai women. I know many men who would like companionship but they really can't be bothered with the bs and farcical situations that can envelope these relationships. These guys spend their days playing golf or tennis, riding their motorcycles, loving life in Thailand, but lacking companionship.

I bet you every male member of this board could name at least one guy they know like that. There's plenty of good men here in Thailand, plenty. However there are plenty of women who are far too fast to write them off, then they wonder how they can't find a date.

[krabimike]

I have lived in Thai near 4 years. studied Thai at several schools and had several farang teacher friends. But quite frankly I would be very interested in a farang lady, but on the most part they are over weight and young and they are not interested in quality middle aged men. same as back home. I have seen several of them date good Thai men but they usually are making more money then the Thai and they have no ability to see a future as there culture has tought them. However I know one Australian lady who met a Thai man in Krabi she now speaks as fluent Thai as it gets, along with reads and writes. and they run a very successful business together.

[Andre0720]

Relative to Thai women. you have nothing to offer.

It's not an either/or deal. Different people bring different things to the table. What works for some doesn't work for others. Sorry, but you're taking an extremely narrow-minded and shallow position.

I found it very funny.

I do not know if he was serious or joking.

But it was funny....

[razer]

Two points: 1-One thing never changes from generation to generation and that is the desire for fun and sex during our youth. . If I were in my

20s living in Bangkok where the women outnumber the men two to one and half of those men are gay (just a guess) and if I were half-way decent looking with a decent salary ….the last thing I would be interested in is finding a wife. But …that does not mean it wouldn’t happen. 2-Men are attracted to feminine behaviour, polite behaviour and are turned-off by loud, hard drinking women …except for a one night stand or a steady roll in the sack. That’s exactly what I would tell my daughter.

[Straight8]

Unfortunately the "majority" of farang ladies in Thailand, just don't quite stack up in the looks department. Intelligence and a sense of humour only go so far.

Another obvious reason, majority of guys here are not interested in farang females.

Any other reason?

Farang women are nearly always looking for a younger guy...

...and would not even look at a guy 10 (or more) years older than them

Yeah that same rule must apply even here in Thailand.. 555

[KuhnPaen]

Ummm..because farang men go to Thailand to get AWAY from Western women. Duh.

Good luck with that babe.

[sting123]

First I am a male.

Second, I am 52 y old.

Third, I will prefer for gf an attractive lady, half my age, than a normal lady (for western stadart) my age (I do not want to see when looking at her how ugly I became , while I was quite andsome when being 22 y old). That is trully moonic I agree, but it is also a simple truth. Unless we are desesperate, we will always try for the best!

So, no idea how old the OP is , neither how she look, but I would believe even if she were ready to stand by me, I would not stand by her; because I could find better for cheaper; younger and more sexier (young are always sexier); and mostly easier dumpable (a girlfriend who is kicked do not get allowance; while a divorce here or in L.A. will simply cost us everything).

Another reason(s) being : If I came here it was to restart a wreched life ANEW; not to fall in the pattern and fail again ... Loosers will stuck with the same patterns, winner analyze the reasons of their failures and will try to change (not always possible, but Thailand does offer that chance). Why the lady came here at the first place? That is a good question I believe! She look for a suitable mate, but is she a suitable mate for a well educated, middle aged (less that 40 y old) professionaly sucesfull expatriate? She have to understand that kind of male is really in the top tier, being succesfull as an expat demanding lot of qualities the servum pecus does not have; and by so that male will be highly searched by any female wishing to have kids (good genetic materials)! Shaocking maybe, but it is a natural law.

So, sorry for the OP and for the ladies having the same problem; anyway they do have to know the very same probleme exist for the males here (unless to be fond of Isarn gogo dancers, it is indeed hard to find a suitable partner from the other gender, suitable being a young sexy well educated , professionaly successful lady ... That is also quite rare).

[spectre324]

first off, most of the men in bangkok are here either for the booze or beautiful women! it is a sad but thru fact that the foreign (Falang) woman just cannot compete with the Thai women. if you take out a falang woman, no kissypoo on the first date, just a hand shake! on the second date she wants to know everything about you, if you are married or single, on the fifth or sixth date when you have spent a ton of money on her she may let you get a little sniff! contrast that with the Thai women. if they like you they will take you home, no questions asked!

[ttthailand]

I would say that the biggest reason why it is difficult for foreign ladies to meet men in Thailand ( foreign man for sure) is because of so many young Thai ladies who are willing to date men much older than them. Also, many of these Thai ladies are educated ( not talking about the bar girls) and have full time jobs. They may not be able to communicate at the same level as a foreign lady but when they do, in general, they are sweet and speak softly. As we western men have had our fill of the loud, know it all western ladies (not all) we find this very attractive. We are willing to forgo the intellectual stimulation for the young sweet loving attention that is given by Thai ladies.

If however you are a foreign lady who is in the top 10 percent in the looks department you will be able to find men here in Thailand same as any place in the world. For the other 90% I would suggest being yourself but perhaps lowing your voice and being a little more sweet. Also, give that older guy a chance... he may be much better than you think.

Sorry if I crossed the line any where but I am telling you like it really is, maybe not for all men but for most I promise you.....good luck ladies, I hope you find that special guy ))

One more thing..... don't sleep around... no guy wants an easy girl...word gets out quickly and its a small world..... a good guy will not want you no matter how lovely you are.

[nosatisfaction]

What do you mean "hard to find good men in Bangkok"? I know dozens. There is Jim the English guy, Paul the yank, and Ivan from Norway (with the chopper), and even a few ozi blokes are half decent (some of the time).

Where are the Asians when you need them?

[Gaccha]

For Khun Molly, human being, seeking love and meaning in the pilgrimage of life: warm regards, and my sincere hope she finds a relationship that offers her as much of what she "needs" (to catalyze, and nurture, her reaching her full human potential), as it offers her what she "wants."

At least in the reportage, here, it is not absolutely clear whether the author is talking about finding a "quality male" independent of whether they are Thai, or Farang.

"an ex-gogo dancer who doesn’t own a phone, a guy who lives with his long term girlfriend and another guy who keeps trying to spring surprise threesomes on you? I think you need more options.”

This statement by the author could be interpreted as indicating the author has a preference for, seeks, a Thai male, but are we absolutely sure the author means that ? I do admit to not having ever met, in my twelve years in-country, a farang male ex-gogo dancer without a phone, but, that could just be an artifact of my own male-hetero way-the-genes'-cookie-crumbled psyche, lifestyle, and experience. Or, I don't have the right mobile phone ?

The author, at least as reported here, never defines what, for her, is a "quality male," and what she is really seeking. There are suggestions her quest includes certain (preliminary ?) behaviors by a male candidate, like "romantic dating," western style; or, certain long-term "outcomes:" possibly marriage, children ... at the least a "long-term" relationship ?

Does the author speak Thai, well; has the author studied, participated-in, tried to some extent "live inside" Thai culture: does the author have a sense of the profound cultural differences in the meaning of, and actuality of, "the relationship" as a social construct, and reality, between her western socialization, and acculturation, and contemporary Thais ? Or, as for any culture, nation, ethnic group, etc., the variations in "relatonships" between, and within, social classes, and different social strata, and different socio-economic groups, or groups defined in terms of age, employment, religion, regional heritage, etc. ?

Has the author ever done volunteer-work with Thais, worked alongside them, found enduring Thai friendships with either sex where she has experienced emotional intimacy (I don't mean sex) ? Does the author have some aspect of Thai culture, religion, or arts, that she actively participates in (Muay Thai, dance, Vipassana, etc. ... ?), where she has real experience being with Thais as a "peer" in shared roles, where she's "absorbed" in the activity; where her focus is enacting her role, and external, not just "on herself" ?

For me, knowing information like that would be essential to evaluate what the author's current goals for relationships: are. And, I would say exactly the same words, if I were responding to a similar article written by a farang male.

I find the comments on this thread about what people "can offer" kind of puzzling: I've never met anyone who did not "have something to offer;" except, at times, my own human self (the orangutan self I co-habit with always has more on offer than I could ever accept ... if I could accept it).

I won't mention my dim understanding, my innate intuition, that "relationships" are like rare transient flowers that appear, and bloom, in ways we cannot consciously predict, or choose (choose at the level of our normal limited ego-bound consciousness), and that, like all blossoms, they must wither ... in order to bear seed.

I would like to be optimistic about "love," simply because I think life is happier, more wonderful, the miracle of the ordinary more salient, by acting as if "love" exists, that if you don't have it, it can be "found;" that when you do "have it" it's eternal. Yes, that means I really did "mainline introject" the western romantic tradition, and probably will never "get over it," in spite of experience; that's possibly part of what "being" a poet, child, and grand-child, of poets, and story-tellers ... is

But, I also find great meaning, personally, in the great poem by Kabir:

"Where there is a garden, the flowers will come." ("rahi gulzar to phool, khilenge")

If my own life is not "the garden," if I am not as "innerly complete" as possible, realizing to the full extent possible, every aspect of my self, including those characterized (variously in different cultures, and groups) as "masculine," and "feminine;" if I avoid fully experiencing the loneliness I feel is an innate part of the human condition; if I avoid taking the risk of being vulnerable by really opening my heart ... if I "run away" from what I believe is the inevitable grief that is part of life, using other people for temporary substitutes for deeper intimacy (to just "get by") without real involvement, and commitment (what I call the "tear-off and wipe" pattern of serial pseudo-relationships) ...

Well, then: I think the flowers I dream of blooming ... will remain ... dreams.

And, the memories of the flowers/relationships that actually bloomed in this life, most often defying and confounding all my expectations, transforming me in "spite of myself:" surely, if I am not a garden, soil fertilized by both tears and laughter, humility, and awe: those memories will ... fade. And, what a profound loss, if those memories become ... just ... mundane; or, psychically mutated into "sacred relics" that are, ritually, "hollow."

~o:37;

And with this post, Orang wins the 'Most useful and profound post of the year'.

It has a lovely style; initially, A Derridian edge of deconstruction, a moment of flowering into the Bergerian social fabrication of lov--, its extraordinary dominance in western thinking and its trite centering on the man-woman angle in contrast to Chinese notions of love-- and then onto an Evolian transcendental message noting the need to experience the human and yet also remain at a distance.

The only post that needs to be read by the author of the Coconuts article.

Books to read:

The Social Construction of Reality

The Sacred Canopy

The Presentation of Self

The Doctrine of Awakening

[Markaew]

Relative to Thai women. you have nothing to offer.

Why are the wisest answers always the shortest ones? Well done, Markaew, well done!!!!

Thank you, thank you. Many of my comments are unappreciated.

[samran]

Coming to Asia as a farang lady you either have to be hard as nails and just get on with your job or really search out opportunities. Sadly most foreigners who live here or visit are more interested in the local fare but you never know your luck, but no need to give up, I know many expat ladies over the years who have found partners while in Asia, so its not impossible. And they are lucky, much less likely to meet up with some dolly who is just looking to rip them off as their first thought in the relationship... just sayin'

Basically blokes who come here get a bit of bamboo fever and then you are stuffed.

Having said that, I've met plenty of western couples who have hooked up in BKK and gotten married and had kids here in BKK. I'm one of them! You just have to be prepared to get involved in extra-curricular activites, sporting clubs etc.

[ttthailand]

OP..give us some information about yourself: Where are you from ? How old are you ? What is your education level ? How do you rate yourself as far as being attractive ? How are your social skills ? how long in Thailand ? etc etc..... Also, what is your idea of a good man ?

[dekdek55]

Ok look at it in reverse. Why is it that a lot of Thai woman want Farang Men./ Because Thai men drink, smoke, gamble and have sex with lots of woman. They don't want to commit . Pick any combination of these reasons and you will find most thai men are like this. Then on top of this Thai culture treats woman as second class or that they are like a chantle when married to a Thai man.

So you are probably left with a very small % of Men that want a Farang Wife And from my experience Farang woman are not subservient. Farang woman are similar to Men from the West. Responsible Honest hard working and usually smart which is not a a desirable trait for Thai men.

So figure it out Thai woman want Farang and not Thai men. It is clear why . So you are going to have to accept this formula since there is some truth to it

Sorry for your dilema. I am not saying 100% are like this so go out have fun and maybe you will fine someone to love.

I got very lucky

I was in a restaurant and there was this very nice lady smiling at me . I got her phone number and after our first Date we have been together since then. It has been fabulous but then again she prefers Farang Men for the very reasons I outlined

So western men doesn't drinks,smoke, gamble and have sex with lots of woman? but every time when i see Headlines from western countries i can see these words Cheats on, Drunk

Would you like me to show some?

Dont' generalize. everyone is an individual

Thai women who date with farang for several reasons not just only because thai men, some of them might like western men for general that's normal couples and sounds lovely but some of them just want ur money so back to a basic principle everyone is an individual

me, as a thai man,holds a master's degree, full time job,dont' smoke and drink,i used to date with the white women.my problems to date with white woman are my shyness and languages barriers but not my habits.

I know some of thai men ( well educated ) who date or mary with whites women or few blacks.

Edited August 7, 2013 by dekdek55

[ttthailand]

OP..give us some information about yourself: Where are you from ? How old are you ? What is your education level ? How do you rate yourself as far as being attractive ? How are your social skills ? how long in Thailand ? etc etc..... Also, what is your idea of a good man ?

[varun]

I would agree that some further information is needed about the OP herself: her age, looks, occupation etc.

Perhaps somebody could shed some light on this?

[sustento]

OP..give us some information about yourself: Where are you from ? How old are you ? What is your education level ? How do you rate yourself as far as being attractive ? How are your social skills ? how long in Thailand ? etc etc..... Also, what is your idea of a good man ?

She's looking for a boyfriend not a job interview.

[manarak]

But, I also find great meaning, personally, in the great poem by Kabir:

"Where there is a garden, the flowers will come." ("rahi gulzar to phool, khilenge")

my garden looks best with many flowers in it :-)

[varun]

OP..give us some information about yourself: Where are you from ? How old are you ? What is your education level ? How do you rate yourself as far as being attractive ? How are your social skills ? how long in Thailand ? etc etc..... Also, what is your idea of a good man ?

She's looking for a boyfriend not a job interview.

You're missing the point.

We are curious as to what (in her opinion) are the qualities of a 'good man' / boyfriend material ?

As is with job interviews, obviously some 'candidates' will meet or exceed her criteria, and some will not.

Edited August 7, 2013 by varun

[bigbamboo]

For Khun Molly, human being, seeking love and meaning in the pilgrimage of life: warm regards, and my sincere hope she finds a relationship that offers her as much of what she "needs" (to catalyze, and nurture, her reaching her full human potential), as it offers her what she "wants."

At least in the reportage, here, it is not absolutely clear whether the author is talking about finding a "quality male" independent of whether they are Thai, or Farang.

"an ex-gogo dancer who doesn’t own a phone, a guy who lives with his long term girlfriend and another guy who keeps trying to spring surprise threesomes on you? I think you need more options.”

This statement by the author could be interpreted as indicating the author has a preference for, seeks, a Thai male, but are we absolutely sure the author means that ? I do admit to not having ever met, in my twelve years in-country, a farang male ex-gogo dancer without a phone, but, that could just be an artifact of my own male-hetero way-the-genes'-cookie-crumbled psyche, lifestyle, and experience. Or, I don't have the right mobile phone ?

The author, at least as reported here, never defines what, for her, is a "quality male," and what she is really seeking. There are suggestions her quest includes certain (preliminary ?) behaviors by a male candidate, like "romantic dating," western style; or, certain long-term "outcomes:" possibly marriage, children ... at the least a "long-term" relationship ?

Does the author speak Thai, well; has the author studied, participated-in, tried to some extent "live inside" Thai culture: does the author have a sense of the profound cultural differences in the meaning of, and actuality of, "the relationship" as a social construct, and reality, between her western socialization, and acculturation, and contemporary Thais ? Or, as for any culture, nation, ethnic group, etc., the variations in "relatonships" between, and within, social classes, and different social strata, and different socio-economic groups, or groups defined in terms of age, employment, religion, regional heritage, etc. ?

Has the author ever done volunteer-work with Thais, worked alongside them, found enduring Thai friendships with either sex where she has experienced emotional intimacy (I don't mean sex) ? Does the author have some aspect of Thai culture, religion, or arts, that she actively participates in (Muay Thai, dance, Vipassana, etc. ... ?), where she has real experience being with Thais as a "peer" in shared roles, where she's "absorbed" in the activity; where her focus is enacting her role, and external, not just "on herself" ?

For me, knowing information like that would be essential to evaluate what the author's current goals for relationships: are. And, I would say exactly the same words, if I were responding to a similar article written by a farang male.

I find the comments on this thread about what people "can offer" kind of puzzling: I've never met anyone who did not "have something to offer;" except, at times, my own human self (the orangutan self I co-habit with always has more on offer than I could ever accept ... if I could accept it).

I won't mention my dim understanding, my innate intuition, that "relationships" are like rare transient flowers that appear, and bloom, in ways we cannot consciously predict, or choose (choose at the level of our normal limited ego-bound consciousness), and that, like all blossoms, they must wither ... in order to bear seed.

I would like to be optimistic about "love," simply because I think life is happier, more wonderful, the miracle of the ordinary more salient, by acting as if "love" exists, that if you don't have it, it can be "found;" that when you do "have it" it's eternal. Yes, that means I really did "mainline introject" the western romantic tradition, and probably will never "get over it," in spite of experience; that's possibly part of what "being" a poet, child, and grand-child, of poets, and story-tellers ... is

But, I also find great meaning, personally, in the great poem by Kabir:

"Where there is a garden, the flowers will come." ("rahi gulzar to phool, khilenge")

If my own life is not "the garden," if I am not as "innerly complete" as possible, realizing to the full extent possible, every aspect of my self, including those characterized (variously in different cultures, and groups) as "masculine," and "feminine;" if I avoid fully experiencing the loneliness I feel is an innate part of the human condition; if I avoid taking the risk of being vulnerable by really opening my heart ... if I "run away" from what I believe is the inevitable grief that is part of life, using other people for temporary substitutes for deeper intimacy (to just "get by") without real involvement, and commitment (what I call the "tear-off and wipe" pattern of serial pseudo-relationships) ...

Well, then: I think the flowers I dream of blooming ... will remain ... dreams.

And, the memories of the flowers/relationships that actually bloomed in this life, most often defying and confounding all my expectations, transforming me in "spite of myself:" surely, if I am not a garden, soil fertilized by both tears and laughter, humility, and awe: those memories will ... fade. And, what a profound loss, if those memories become ... just ... mundane; or, psychically mutated into "sacred relics" that are, ritually, "hollow."

~o:37;

And with this post, Orang wins the 'Most useful and profound post of the year'.

It has a lovely style; initially, A Derridian edge of deconstruction, a moment of flowering into the Bergerian social fabrication of lov--, its extraordinary dominance in western thinking and its trite centering on the man-woman angle in contrast to Chinese notions of love-- and then onto an Evolian transcendental message noting the need to experience the human and yet also remain at a distance.

The only post that needs to be read by the author of the Coconuts article.

Books to read:

The Social Construction of Reality

The Sacred Canopy

The Presentation of Self

The Doctrine of Awakening

Aaaagh!

One reason I came to Thailand was to get away from that bloody Tom Paulin....... and now it seems he's over here!

.

Edited August 7, 2013 by bigbamboo

[fletchsmile]

There are far more Thai ladies in Thailand than there are farang ladies, so it's no surprise that most farang guys here for any length of time will end up with a Thai partner rather than a farang partner. Sure there are personal preferences and all the other things, but simple numbers means a farang guy who stays here will more than likely end up with a Thai lady.

I didn't set out to choose a Thai wife: simply that for every nice farang lady, there's a thousand nice Thai ladies - farang ladies need to appreciate this.

What the author and many other farang ladies should realise is that for every farang guy there are also a thousand Thai guys. When they complain that they can't find a "good man" - the real question is therefore nothing to do with farang men at all. It's why they can't find a decent Thai guy as 99.9% of guys here are Thai?

Some women do find a Thai guy and live happily ever after. As the author and many other farang women lament though, a great many don't.

Unfortunately though, instead of looking at the dynamics between themselves and Thai guys, many farang ladies start having a go at farang guys and their relationships with Thai women and the fact that many farang men are "more interested" in Thai women (which they overlook again the simple numbers), or pointing out flaws in other people's relationships. Why have a go at farang guys in Thailand for being happy, finding a partner and getting on with their own lives?

If you're unhappy with your relationship situation the best person to change it is yourself.

Cheers

Fletch

Edited August 7, 2013 by fletchsmile

[digibum]

OP..give us some information about yourself: Where are you from ? How old are you ? What is your education level ? How do you rate yourself as far as being attractive ? How are your social skills ? how long in Thailand ? etc etc..... Also, what is your idea of a good man ?

She's looking for a boyfriend not a job interview.

Yes, but how can one diagnose the problem without examining the patient? If one says it's difficult to meet farang guys, aren't these the factors that most farang guys would look at/for?

[digibum]

There are far more Thai ladies in Thailand than there are farang ladies, so it's no surprise that most farang guys here for any length of time will end up with a Thai partner rather than a farang partner. Sure there are personal preferences and all the other things, but simple numbers means a farang guy who stays here will more than likely end up with a Thai lady.

I didn't set out to choose a Thai wife: simply that for every nice farang lady, there's a thousand nice Thai ladies - farang ladies need to appreciate this.

What the author and many other farang ladies should realise is that for every farang guy there are also a thousand Thai guys. When they complain that they can't find a "good man" - the real question is therefore nothing to do with farang men at all. It's why they can't find a decent Thai guy as 99.9% of guys here are Thai?

Some women do find a Thai guy and live happily ever after. As the author and many other farang women lament though, a great many don't.

Unfortunately though, instead of looking at the dynamics between themselves and Thai guys, many farang ladies start having a go at farang guys and their relationships with Thai women and the fact that many farang men are "more interested" in Thai women (which they overlook again the simple numbers), or pointing out flaws in other people's relationships. Why have a go at farang guys in Thailand for being happy, finding a partner and getting on with their own lives?

If you're unhappy with your relationship situation the best person to change it is yourself.

Cheers

Fletch

While I can agree with the overall sentiment of your comment, the fact is that Thailand has more women than men in the 25 - 54 age group. (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2018.html). Compare that to the US which has a 1:1 ratio or the UK which has 1.03 men for every woman.

Now factor in the seemingly large transgender and gay population of males and it whittles down the chances of a Thai woman meeting a Thai guy down even further.

When you factor in things like job prospects, high mortality rate due to dangerous jobs, as well as alcoholism, and other negative factors the number of eligible men available for each Thai woman runs even lower.

This is one of (though certainly not the only) reasons why Thai women take a more aggressive attitude towards finding a man. They can't just sit back and wait for a guy to come find them. The numbers aren't in their favor.

But if you come from a western upbringing which has the numbers working in her favor that is going to put the western woman at a clear disadvantage when placed in an environment where the same dating/courting strategies don't work.

But like you said at the end:

If you're unhappy with your relationship situation the best person to change it is yourself.

[soi sniffer]

Wow, some woman here are quite harsh with their generalizations and are talking like all Thai girls are the same.

[soi sniffer]

There have been a few nasty comments made about Thai woman here so its not just about western woman. All Thais have individual personality.

[CHRISTIANa9]

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?/topic/612733-Has-Anyone-Got-Smitten-By-A-Caucasian-Lady-In-Bbk?

Your answer could be here

[fletchsmile]

There are far more Thai ladies in Thailand than there are farang ladies, so it's no surprise that most farang guys here for any length of time will end up with a Thai partner rather than a farang partner. Sure there are personal preferences and all the other things, but simple numbers means a farang guy who stays here will more than likely end up with a Thai lady.

I didn't set out to choose a Thai wife: simply that for every nice farang lady, there's a thousand nice Thai ladies - farang ladies need to appreciate this.

What the author and many other farang ladies should realise is that for every farang guy there are also a thousand Thai guys. When they complain that they can't find a "good man" - the real question is therefore nothing to do with farang men at all. It's why they can't find a decent Thai guy as 99.9% of guys here are Thai?

Some women do find a Thai guy and live happily ever after. As the author and many other farang women lament though, a great many don't.

Unfortunately though, instead of looking at the dynamics between themselves and Thai guys, many farang ladies start having a go at farang guys and their relationships with Thai women and the fact that many farang men are "more interested" in Thai women (which they overlook again the simple numbers), or pointing out flaws in other people's relationships. Why have a go at farang guys in Thailand for being happy, finding a partner and getting on with their own lives?

If you're unhappy with your relationship situation the best person to change it is yourself.

Cheers

Fletch

While I can agree with the overall sentiment of your comment, the fact is that Thailand has more women than men in the 25 - 54 age group. (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2018.html). Compare that to the US which has a 1:1 ratio or the UK which has 1.03 men for every woman.

Now factor in the seemingly large transgender and gay population of males and it whittles down the chances of a Thai woman meeting a Thai guy down even further.

When you factor in things like job prospects, high mortality rate due to dangerous jobs, as well as alcoholism, and other negative factors the number of eligible men available for each Thai woman runs even lower.

This is one of (though certainly not the only) reasons why Thai women take a more aggressive attitude towards finding a man. They can't just sit back and wait for a guy to come find them. The numbers aren't in their favor.

But if you come from a western upbringing which has the numbers working in her favor that is going to put the western woman at a clear disadvantage when placed in an environment where the same dating/courting strategies don't work.

But like you said at the end:

If you're unhappy with your relationship situation the best person to change it is yourself.

Being something of a statistics man myself I hear your points, and they may have a minor influence, but I think the actual impact of such factors is small. Also bear in mind that there are factors which swing it the other way, eg guys who have several "mia"s so even the stats can move a bit the other way. Mia nois can often remain remarkably faithful to a guy how already has a major wife - not to say some don't have another guy too, but many don't and the "husband" would often kick them into touch if they were found out.

In addition to stats, I'm also somewhat of a visual character too. So when I saw the picture associated with the article, there was also a fair bit to read into that. Miserable western woman with a slob of a western guy in his underwear and socks. A pretty common stereotype from western women (obviously not all) of western men in Thailand if you ask me.

Given there are a thousand Thai guys for every western guy, one has to wonder why the picture picks a stereotype minority to highlight the author's inability to find a good man. Shouldn't that really have been you're average Thai guy on the bottom bunk instead.

Edited August 7, 2013 by fletchsmile

[soi sniffer]

Wifes Thai,been with western woman in the past, good and bad in both. I never choose according to race. I know western girls and Thai ones besides my wife who would make great partners for the right man.