weird facial gesture

[phuketsub]

When I ask my daughter (age 7) a question and the answer is affirmative, rather than say 'yes' she just raises her eyebrows several times.

I don't know where she picked this up or exactly what to make of it, although as a parent I find it vaguely disrespectful.

My daughter goes to a municipal school in Phuket Town and she says all the kids there do this.

Anyway, I am just curious if this behavior is just a passing fad at her school or if it is more widespread on the island, or elsewhere.

[bangarang]

So the laziness starts at an early age.

Thanks for that heads up, I will have to send my daughter to a private school and hope for the best as long as I stay here. I would rather send her to public school in the US but as long as I stay here I think private school is my only option.

[stevenl]

So the laziness starts at an early age.

Thanks for that heads up, I will have to send my daughter to a private school and hope for the best as long as I stay here. I would rather send her to public school in the US but as long as I stay here I think private school is my only option.

You're in luck, at private schools they don't pick up any habits, good or bad, that happens only at public schools.

[bangarang]

So the laziness starts at an early age.

Thanks for that heads up, I will have to send my daughter to a private school and hope for the best as long as I stay here. I would rather send her to public school in the US but as long as I stay here I think private school is my only option.

You're in luck, at private schools they don't pick up any habits, good or bad, that happens only at public schools.

The only thing I worry about is the $$ from what I heard about BIS or PIA. Any other cheaper alternative private schools on the island?

[phuketsub]

Interesting. She went to a private school (Kajonkiet EP Program) for kindergarten, but I took her out for primary because I didn't like some of the behavior I was seeing in the older kids there and wanted her to be more "Thai". (she is a look kreung)...for English, she gets home schooling.

Anyway, I don't want to turn this into another thread on the relative merits of the various schools on the island: I just want to get a handle on this social phenomenon...

[Wavefloater]

Why wouldn't you just talk to your daughter to see where she picked up this habit and explain that it's not the best method of communication? Or why wouldn't you go to the school to investigate if that's where you feel the habit is coming from?

I guess if I were in the situation and it became apparent that this is a common way of communicating where she goes to school, I would appreciate that she doesn't want to be different from her peers and be teased by them because she uses language rather than the common gesture, so a compromise may be to ask her to use both the "eye affirmation" and words. As long as she's making the eye gesture acceptable by her peers, they probably won't notice that she's also speaking. And this way, at least you're teaching her not to be lazy with language skills.

Edited August 14, 2013 by Wavefloater

[hanno]

So the laziness starts at an early age.

Thanks for that heads up, I will have to send my daughter to a private school and hope for the best as long as I stay here. I would rather send her to public school in the US but as long as I stay here I think private school is my only option.

My daughter goes to the most expensive private school in Saigon, and she has picked up some great habits, not! I guess it is a growing-up thing regardless of the school.

[onionluke]

It could be she is leading up to answering all questions with "eugh" .

[stevenl]

Just tell her that if you ask a question you'd like a clear, verbal answer. How she interacts with her friends is up to her,.

[Pomthai]

Shave off her eyebrows and if she does it again tell her you can't hear her anymore. She'll make the connection.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

So the laziness starts at an early age.

Thanks for that heads up, I will have to send my daughter to a private school and hope for the best as long as I stay here. I would rather send her to public school in the US but as long as I stay here I think private school is my only option.

You're in luck, at private schools they don't pick up any habits, good or bad, that happens only at public schools.

indeed, all the little junkies i see from the large international schools in my neighborhood are very well mannerd

[Valentine]

This is a normal affirmative gesture from all ages & from different parts of the country. It is not rude or disrespectful but can be a little frustrating if you are not looking. My ex does it as does my current one plus my 2 daughters. To sum up it is not uncommon nor is it a fad.

[NamKangMan]

Maybe she is unsure which language to reply to you in.

[GarryP]

50 years old and I still do this. I also raise my eyebrows once or twice as a sign of acknowledgement. I do it without thinking. I have no idea whether it is a Thai thing or a British thing, being a Brit who has lived more than half his life here, probably the former.

[LivinginKata]

This is a normal affirmative gesture from all ages & from different parts of the country. It is not rude or disrespectful but can be a little frustrating if you are not looking. My ex does it as does my current one plus my 2 daughters. To sum up it is not uncommon nor is it a fad.

Agreed, my wife does that gesture and a sort of vague umm reply. Drives me crazy.

[Somtamnication]

She must be getting it from her teacher.

[Guest]

Local restaurant owner and head of the family, man about 50 years old, does the same sometimes.

I interpret it as friendly gesture of mutual understanding where both are being slightly sarcastic. In this case he is always complaining that he don't have money. I give an impression that I burn dollars, just to keep me warm during the cold season. We both know that he is much more rich than I am.

[phuketsub]

Thanks for all the feedback; I find it strange that this behavior is so widespread since I have never noticed it before. Anyway, I am going to tell her to knock it off...it seems like (non-human) primate behavior to me.

[Guest]

Or it could be just more advanced way to communicate in multilingual environment.

Thailand is actually pretty good place to learn facial expressions and the messages behind those.

[NamKangMan]

Or it could be just more advanced way to communicate in multilingual environment.

Thailand is actually pretty good place to learn facial expressions and the messages behind those.

Very true. Some of the bar girls give me this facial gesture, until I buy them a drink, then they talk to me. :) :)

[Briggsy]

Yes, OP, that is correct. My girlfriend does exactly the same. No, on the other hand, is denoted by a short, sharp buzzing sound. (lasting around 0.3 seconds)

Took me a fair while to decipher the meaning.

Edited August 14, 2013 by Briggsy

[phuketsub]

Yes, OP, that is correct. My girlfriend does exactly the same. No, on the other hand, is denoted by a short, sharp buzzing sound. (lasting around 0.3 seconds)

Took me a fair while to decipher the meaning.

Thanks for the confirmation...look forward to when she starts buzzing like R2D2!

[jpeg]

Or it could be just more advanced way to communicate in multilingual environment.

Thailand is actually pretty good place to learn facial expressions and the messages behind those.

Such as the pursing of lips in the direction of something rather than with the finger, which is considered rude. I still do this, but never heard of the eyebrow raising one. I just assumed they were being sardonic

[Briggsy]

I think a lot of farang simply mess the unspoken, raised-eyebrows yes and think the question has been ignored.

Beware of the short, sharp, buzzing, no sound as it bears a slight similarity to an English "umm", which of course means yes, not no.

[Valentine]

I think a lot of farang simply mess the unspoken, raised-eyebrows yes and think the question has been ignored.

Beware of the short, sharp, buzzing, no sound as it bears a slight similarity to an English "umm", which of course means yes, not no.

Not sure how best to describe it but sounds like er although stretched out & in a deep tone.

[KarenBravo]

Maybe she learned it from this bloke?

[YaiJung]

You are probably better off home-schooling her completely than putting her in a tesseban school. These schools are basicly just daycare for the poorest thais and a complete waste of time if you actually want your daughter to learn anything.

If you don't like the eye-brow raising thing, you are in for a real treat when she starts to grow up and the "thai" habits of her municipal school peers become fully entrenched.

If you are looking for an alternative to kajon kiet, I would recommend checking out dara samut or daoroong. Here you will find more of the kids come from "normal" Thai families where there is some discipline and the parents are a bit more involved.