How much to help support Thai in-laws?

[Chittychangchang]

This is a thread with the newbie and novice to Thailand in mind.

Hopefully we can correlate our experiences of Thailand and helping the in-laws as a reference tool for newcomers.

Bearing in mind everyone's circumstances are different, maybe we can calculate a mean average.

Regards

CCC

Edited August 17, 2013 by Chittychangchang

[kannot]

Id tell them to suggest to the inlaws that they should have started financial planning much earlier and not involving having 10 kids but actually saving money.

Thatll go down well Im sure.

[rene123]

Id tell them to suggest to the inlaws that they should have started financial planning much earlier and not involving having 10 kids but actually saving money.

Thatll go down well Im sure.

I think a lot of rural Thais have a lot of children for the express purpose that the children look after the parents in their old age. That is why a lot of young women get sent off to the cities to earn a living any way they can. The young women are expected to send money home.

[benalibina]

By supporting FIL, 1 starts as 1 means to go on.

[patongphil]

I voted for less than 5,000 baht which is true but does no take into account what I get in return. We have a large house and farm on the outskirts of the village which we only visit for some 3 months or so over the Sonkraan holidays.

The rest of the year SIL cleans the house twice a month and FIL looks after our cows, rice fields, ducks, fish and everything else on our farm - (sorry Missus' farm for those who just don't get it). I am quite happy to bung them a few baht occassionally for their labours esp FIL as this is pretty much a full time job.

In fact we are cash flow positive for no effort on our behalf. A great deal for all involved I believe.

[David48]

Maybe better to teach them to fish, rather then buy them a fish.

BTW CCC, I'm surprised at the price points you have chosen and many girls send home between 5,000 and 10,000 Baht a Month from their earnings, so your B 5,000 - B 20,000 option is well wide of the mark. My humble opinion only.

If, however, they have 'extra' earnings, say a 2^nd job, or found particularly profitable 'employment', that figure (5,000 and 10,000 Baht a Month) would be revised up ...

Just for the record, when my lady was working, I gave nothing in terms of a stipend.

She used to contribute about B 12,000 and pay the Elec and Phone/Internet Bill ... about B 1,000 each ... but she lived with her parents, hence was sheltered and fed.

.

[arthurwait]

450,000 baht a month each because we know nobody can survive on less than that a month in Thailand. It's more expensive than the Uk here now and buffalos need many medicines.

[Rigs]

450,000 baht a month each because we know nobody can survive on less than that a month in Thailand. It's more expensive than the Uk here now and buffalos need many medicines.

450000 baht a month are u for real.

[David48]

450,000 baht a month each because we know nobody can survive on less than that a month in Thailand. It's more expensive than the Uk here now and buffalos need many medicines.

450000 baht a month are u for real.

'for real' ... no ... we think he was having a wee pull of the leg.

[Rigs]

450,000 baht a month each because we know nobody can survive on less than that a month in Thailand. It's more expensive than the Uk here now and buffalos need many medicines.

450000 baht a month are u for real.

'for real' ... no ... we think he was having a wee pull of the leg.

I hope so, or he is a gullible fool

[NeverSure]

450,000 baht a month each because we know nobody can survive on less than that a month in Thailand. It's more expensive than the Uk here now and buffalos need many medicines.

450000 baht a month are u for real.

'for real' ... no ... we think he was having a wee pull of the leg.

I see that you just don't understand how much beer and sick buffalo cost these days.

[Rigs]

450,000 baht a month each because we know nobody can survive on less than that a month in Thailand. It's more expensive than the Uk here now and buffalos need many medicines.

450000 baht a month are u for real.

'for real' ... no ... we think he was having a wee pull of the leg.

I see that you just don't understand how much beer and sick buffalo cost these days.

555+.

[pattayadingo]

I do not give her parents a monthly sum.

What I DID give ......

Mothers birthday - 1000

Fathers birthday - 1000

Sisters birthday - 1000

Grandfathers funeral - 5000 towards the cost.

Storm damage - 5000 towards the cost.

Total for 1 year = 13000 Baht.

I was asked to help with the storm damage but not for the grandfathers funeral, nor asked for the birthdays.

I am not here to support her family except for the odd voluntary donation here and there.

If the long term g/f wants to give her parents / family money, that is up to her.

[i claudius]

My wifes familly are reasonably well off ,so i have never been asked for a baht(except by her young brother ,but then he taps us all equally ) i suppose it just depend who you marry and whether you are prepared to support her familly .

[BEVUP]

i see there are some good figures there as these women who can send over 5000 bht must have good jobs = my wife gives / gave 2000 bht a mth to MIL

But if your talking INLAWS Arthurwait is right

I think we all know MIL controls the roost in Thai family , so then your wife/gf supports all the family by hoking everything to hopefully get back but leaves you with a debt to pay off if anything happens to them so you can pass on to son What would a Thai do if not told

[Nowhereman60]

My wife parents are decease so no sin sot or money . One sister and one brother both well off making around 100,000 baht a month. One brother is not that well off, and I do give their kids some money when we visit about 200 baht or so and one daughter who is in college I send 500 baht a month while my wife and her brother also send a few thousand every month.

[Orac]

We send just under 5000 baht a month - 3000 for my wifes dad who is getting on a bit plus 200 baht for each of my nieces/nephews which go into savings accounts which they are proud to show bamk books when we visit a couple of times a year.

Also we pick up the funeral insurance for the FIL which is 8k - a long standing agreement where the rest of the family paid the insurance for MIL who died last year.

[akspace]

I don't help at all, but my girlfriend sends every extra baht she has home. Normally I don't mind, but sometimes she doesn't budget enough money for herself and comes asking me for money. Normally this happens if something goes wrong, broken motorbike, lost cellphone, etc... It only happens once or twice a year, but I still wish she would budget better.

[robblok]

Maybe better to teach them to fish, rather then buy them a fish.

BTW CCC, I'm surprised at the price points you have chosen and many girls send home between 5,000 and 10,000 Baht a Month from their earnings, so your B 5,000 - B 20,000 option is well wide of the mark. My humble opinion only.

If, however, they have 'extra' earnings, say a 2^nd job, or found particularly profitable 'employment', that figure (5,000 and 10,000 Baht a Month) would be revised up ...

Just for the record, when my lady was working, I gave nothing in terms of a stipend.

She used to contribute about B 12,000 and pay the Elec and Phone/Internet Bill ... about B 1,000 each ... but she lived with her parents, hence was sheltered and fed.

.

Im not sure who tells you these stories David, but I hear of much lower amounts around here. It also depends on how many children but these amounts are far to high they can live much cheaper. Personally I don't give a single B that is what my gf does from money she earns and she send no more then 3.000 bt. Many of her friends send similar amounts not much higher.

Ok pay up when her father or mother has a birthday or a special day but that is the same what she does for my parents. I made it a point not to pay them, the more you pay the more they see you as an ATM not a person.

[NoshowJones]

Id tell them to suggest to the inlaws that they should have started financial planning much earlier and not involving having 10 kids but actually saving money.

Thatll go down well Im sure.

If your wife has a few brothers and sisters, then let them provide, it is not your responsibility. But on the other hand, if your wife is an only child, then it would be nice to help her financially support her parents depending on your finances.

Most ex pats out here cannot afford health insurance, and those who can will find out just how good it is when they are in their seventies and eighties. Every ex pat in Thailand has to be prepared for some sort of medical expenses as they get older, and that should take priority over contributing financially to any inlaws.

[Bluetongue]

The wife buys most of the mahk for her mother. Dad passed away. Inevitably the penniless sister's who also chew hoe into this as well. That probably comes to about 200pm. Then there is a monetary gift on Qbirthday of 1000 and maybe one other day I just cant remember which one. Just remembered it, the day we sell our fruit. She also gives her a food treat nearly every day either bought or home made. Maybe a sarong once a year. Altogether bugger all really. Any more would just be begged from her by said penniless sister's. So I voted the under 5k.

[otherstuff1957]

My wife's parents both died before we were married, but she mentioned that if they were still alive, she would be sending them about 5,000 per month.

For the first 5 years that I lived in Thailand, we lived in a single room. My teenaged stepson stayed with an aunt & uncle upcountry & we sent him 5,000 baht a month for food, clothing, school expenses, etc.

As others have mentioned, the spread of 5K to 20K is far too broad, some people will send 5K to 10K, others 10K to 15K etc.

[JLCrab]

Id tell them to suggest to the inlaws that they should have started financial planning much earlier and not involving having 10 kids but actually saving money.

Thatll go down well Im sure.

If your wife has a few brothers and sisters, then let them provide, it is not your responsibility. But on the other hand, if your wife is an only child, then it would be nice to help her financially support her parents depending on your finances.

Most ex pats out here cannot afford health insurance, and those who can will find out just how good it is when they are in their seventies and eighties. Every ex pat in Thailand has to be prepared for some sort of medical expenses as they get older, and that should take priority over contributing financially to any inlaws.

As many on here are older than their in-laws, being a bit nice and helping out when the in-laws are occasionally in a pinch is a good investment in long-term care assistance as you and the in-laws might form a mutual help network as you all get older. 'Twould be nice to have some who gives a sh-t about you to look after you and help out when you are not in hospital but still not functioning at %100 -- especially as the wife or GF is out working her day job.

[pigeonjake]

we give the mil, 4,ooo a month,

now as some will no i still work all over the world, and that 4,000 gives me piece of mind when im away knowing that the MIL is there should my wife need her to help out,

[NoshowJones]

Id tell them to suggest to the inlaws that they should have started financial planning much earlier and not involving having 10 kids but actually saving money.

Thatll go down well Im sure.

If your wife has a few brothers and sisters, then let them provide, it is not your responsibility. But on the other hand, if your wife is an only child, then it would be nice to help her financially support her parents depending on your finances.

Most ex pats out here cannot afford health insurance, and those who can will find out just how good it is when they are in their seventies and eighties. Every ex pat in Thailand has to be prepared for some sort of medical expenses as they get older, and that should take priority over contributing financially to any inlaws.

As many on here are older than their in-laws, being a bit nice and helping out when the in-laws are occasionally in a pinch is a good investment in long-term care assistance as you and the in-laws might form a mutual help network as you all get older. 'Twould be nice to have some who gives a sh-t about you to look after you and help out when you are not in hospital but still not functioning at %100 -- especially as the wife or GF is out working her day job.

Good post Mr Crab, but I suppose it really depends on both you and your inlaws financial status. There are some expats living here with only their basic state pension, and some who have a great works pension along with their state pension.

[Om85]

I don't even give money to my wife, if she want money the she must work for it(and that's exactly what she do in Luftansa), I firmly believe in the equality between men and women

Edited August 18, 2013 by Om85

[buck99]

I don't give anything to my GF's mother except for birthdays. I give 12,000 a month to my GF's daughter for college and living expenses - as long as she maintains an above average grade point average which she does.

[JLCrab]

Thanks Possum -- All I'll add is if someone is currently in relatively good health and still in tight financial straights things might only get worse when one is not in such good health. If the in-laws are of relatively the same age they can be a good care-giver resource... Maybe time to think of planning ahead.

Thai people may be like people anywhere (except maybe more so): They might not always remember when you helped them out but they will always remember when you didn't.

Edited August 18, 2013 by JLCrab

[pigeonjake]

I don't even give money to my wife, if she want money the she must work for it(and that's exactly what she do in Luftansa), I firmly believe in the equality between men and women

i bet she earns it working for you,

cooking ,cleaning, ect,

and you still dont pay her,

good man,,,not

[balo]

I don't give anything, unless there is a death in the near family , maybe for birthdays too.