Lazy Cops

[ray23]

Win-Win Solution:

Give me her number...Give me a week or so...She'll settle for your $90,000 USD, I settle for $10,000...She'll get laid...she'll forget her problems with you...my family will be well off for the next 10 years...you can stay in LOS without any identity changes or laying low...

Think about it skip...

Thats bit heavy isn't it. Unless I my miss my guess at the moment this guy is going through something as I remember them to be not a very fun time in life. With emotions running the gambit, from how do I take care of her to how do I survive, changing by the minute

[egeefay]

I know this doesn't excuse your soon-to-be ex wife but in the United States the police treat assaults by spouses differently than they do other assaults. They tend to look about complaints by married people as "family squabbles" and don't take it seriously.

I also would guess that the security guard at your building isn't trained to provide much in the way of protection. They probably make 3000-4000 baht a month, aren't educated, receive no training, prefer not to get involved in violent situationd. They are there just for show. So the building management can say they have "security"

Sounds like your soon-to-be ex wife came from a poor family and my guess is that they are not well educated. Most Thais I know wouldn't involve themselves in a physical altercation like the one you describe

Trying to make a decent woman out of a bar girl or maid or a poor uneducated Thai woman is to an uphill battle. Cinderella stories are just that...stories.

I think anyone looking for a Thai mate would do better courting a Thai woman that has an education and a decent job. Chances are she will come from a good family and be on the same social level as you.

My Thai wife of 29 years was a college graduate. Her family was better off than I was when we met. She had a good job. She wasn't after my money (I didn't have any at the time). Over the years she has been a great helpmate and, though we've had our differences, we've always settled them by "talking" not fighting.

That's my personal experience. I am sure there are a lot of people who would disagree with me but I think its a mistake to associate with people who think you are a ticket to a better life.

[greenwanderer108]

I know this doesn't excuse your soon-to-be ex wife but in the United States the police treat assaults by spouses differently than they do other assaults. They tend to look about complaints by married people as "family squabbles" and don't take it seriously.

I also would guess that the security guard at your building isn't trained to provide much in the way of protection. They probably make 3000-4000 baht a month, aren't educated, receive no training, prefer not to get involved in violent situationd. They are there just for show. So the building management can say they have "security"

Sounds like your soon-to-be ex wife came from a poor family and my guess is that they are not well educated. Most Thais I know wouldn't involve themselves in a physical altercation like the one you describe

Trying to make a decent woman out of a bar girl or maid or a poor uneducated Thai woman is to an uphill battle. Cinderella stories are just that...stories.

I think anyone looking for a Thai mate would do better courting a Thai woman that has an education and a decent job. Chances are she will come from a good family and be on the same social level as you.

My Thai wife of 29 years was a college graduate. Her family was better off than I was when we met. She had a good job. She wasn't after my money (I didn't have any at the time). Over the years she has been a great helpmate and, though we've had our differences, we've always settled them by "talking" not fighting.

That's my personal experience. I am sure there are a lot of people who would disagree with me but I think its a mistake to associate with people who think you are a ticket to a better life.

For those posters who don't have the time or patience to read through the entire thread, you should know that skip's case here isn't one about a lo-so issan rice farmer daughter after a big pay off. I believe he stated several times in page 3 or 4, that her family is well-to-do, etc...If it was just money, surely she would have taken the 6 mil and kept her face...sounds like they're making more of a statement wanting skip to lose as much face if not more with a bigger payoff...that he wouldn't be so comfortable/convenient to make.

Looks more like a case of hopless dependancy which can happen to any income level...that and a big face loss situation. I suspect, though skip hasn't confirmed yet, that another big drive in the female's bizarre behavior is the new replacement girl/factor.

As I've observed, that's the biggest reason Thai girls will act like this. They can't stand the idea of being replaced by anyone, especially someone younger and prettier than themselves.

[jing jing]

I suspect, though skip hasn't confirmed yet, that another big drive in the female's bizarre behavior is the new replacement girl/factor.

As I've observed, that's the biggest reason Thai girls will act like this. They can't stand the idea of being replaced by anyone, especially someone younger and prettier than themselves.

Hmmm.... that would certainly explain some things... is there any additional information you'd care to share with the class, Skipper?

[The Skipper]

Ya know, we hardly ever had an argument before.

Our marriage was a fizzle, just drifted apart.

I want my old life back.

Pretty obvious I don't have a new girlfriend. She must have scoured my place for evidence.

Who will visit me way over here?

A couple Gigs on the side, OK

[The Skipper]

Is there a reason why you offered such a large amount of money up front, other then the kindness of your heart?

After talking to legal people I determined that is the amount she would get from a judge in my town. Really self destructive and should have went for the 6mil, no?

Can she take 50% of the assets accumalted between the two of you since your marriage?

Yes, 50% ....not the entire suitcase! That's all I had. I left her the entire contents of the last apartment.

According to Thai law, a wife can steal anything, no problem. Family members included if it's just a Farang. If it's a Thai guy, then beat the crap outa her,OK.

Under California Law the prior assets would not part of that award.

True , called seperate property. A spouse will earn some appreciation and get half the mortgage princple payments back. Moore / Marsden ruling.

Its a mathmetical formula the lawyers won't tell you about.

Is she looking at a huge amount of Alimony?

About 40% of current expenses for half the years married. I am officially at 9.5 years.

If married over 10 years then a Ca judge has leeway and can give support forever, especially if there is abuse or drugs,..and all I have to protect myself against these charges is a "lost" Passport form. Those lazy cops could really cause me a headache.

A spouse can get Social Security payments at retirement age if married 10+years based on Ex's prior income. About 20,000bt/month in her case.

LISTEN UP GUYS, this works both ways. If you are divorced and your wife had a good job then apply for Social Security.

I have had numerous baroom lawyers give me consultations but the above advice was paid for and solid.

I'll get back here if any other issues come up.

If there are any "Tom Cruise" types out there, do me a favor and ask her out. She's pretty and I'll pick up the tab.

THANKS ALL FOR THE SUPER SUPPORT. NICE TO GET THE THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS .

TAKE CARE

Edited April 17, 2006 by The Skipper

[kkf123]

your bird was married 25 years ago, and now she is getting 100K USD while trying to kill you?

1. Move your funds out of Thailand.

2. Move out of Thailand.

[greenwanderer108]

Was there any type of prenuptual agreement? Or would it even be valid cross-borders?

[greenwanderer108]

your bird was married 25 years ago, and now she is getting 100K USD while trying to kill you?

1. Move your funds out of Thailand.

2. Move out of Thailand.

I don't think it's necessary for Skip to skip Thailand altogether as others are suggesting. I know a guy whose ex wife hired one of those 10k hitmans to take him out. He was coerced to lay low outside of LOS for a year, untill things cooled down...but he came back and is getting along fine with his new girl/life...

Believe the psycho ex found new drama with another dude and has moved on...

One thing they say about Thai girls (or girls in general) is that they are easily angered, but they quickly forgive/forget

Grote ngai, Hai rel...โกรษง่าย หายเร็ว

[ray23]

Good for you Skip sounds like you've have done your research. I'm not a lawyer by anymeans but I did spend eight years working civil for the Sheriff's department and been through three divorces all in California, so I probably did pick up a bit of knowledge

In all honesty you do things right and your probably judgment proof. That being said I gave a lot more in ,my last divorce than I had to, simply because in the end I have to live with myself, when it's all over and done with.

I know this is not as easy as it sounds, but for a brief period go somewhere and enjoy yourself, let some time pass for the emotions to settle a bit. The lady is obvoiusly working from pain at the moment until that aspect settles down a bit your not going to get anywhere trying to settle anything with her.

Then make your first contact via phone see where thing are then and then decide to go forward or not. I highly recommend that you have someone else meet with her in the settlement meetings, lot better chance of keeping things to business.

If you can a good vacation to another country in tthe region, might do you some good and make it much more difficult for her to physically contact you.

Skip you need to give this some time.

I wish you nothing but luck

[The Skipper]

Ok, Now I get a call, Monday am, my wife, at the police station, asking me to come there and get my passport.

Yea, like I'm going to walk into a Thai Police Station, face her, family and Thai Police?

The same people that caused all this drama.

No way.

[Donz]

You should of went there, knocked out the entire family and give them a reason to charge you with assualt.

[PREM-R]

You should of went there, knocked out the entire family and give them a reason to charge you with assualt.

Are you a University Don(z) - ie A college or university professor?

[triplegee]

Definitely the right thing to do in not going to the police station.

If you haven't already done so - I'd be in touch with your embassy quick smart and let them know what's going on - not only with your missing passport but the whole story. If you can I would arrange for a lawyer to attend the police station on your behalf and seek to recover your belongings / passport.

Good luck Skip.

[Donz]

You should of went there, knocked out the entire family and give them a reason to charge you with assualt.

Are you a University Don(z) - ie A college or university professor?

nope. I was never smart enough

[marshbags]

[quote name='ray23' date='2006-04-16 21:57:15' pos

[daleyboy]

You should of went there, knocked out the entire family and give them a reason to charge you with assualt.

Are you a University Don(z) - ie A college or university professor?

nope. I was never smart enough

Thats pretty obvious

[marshbags]

Win-Win Solution:

Give me her number...Give me a week or so...She'll settle for your $90,000 USD, I settle for $10,000...She'll get laid...she'll forget her problems with you...my family will be well off for the next 10 years...you can stay in LOS without any identity changes or laying low...

Think about it skip...

Thats bit heavy isn't it. Unless I my miss my guess at the moment this guy is going through something as I remember them to be not a very fun time in life. With emotions running the gambit, from how do I take care of her to how do I survive, changing by the minute

I agree with you Ray and let,s hope it,s not a signal for more of the no brain posters to multiply.

Perhaps the moderators should use their descretion in cases like this and delete them as soon as possible on humanitarian grounds where sensitive issues are being debated.

In my humble opinion of course.

Regarding the comment on why give her funds ect. after all the bad stuff she,s done.

( only the one recent that was a below the belt in it,s context. )

It,s obvious to me The Skipper is doing what he thinks is the right thing to do and while he wants to sever connections he still wants to see her o.k.

Maybe she doesn,t deserve it but how many guys out there have " done the right thing " even though a lot do not warrant it.

I am one of them and for myself i felt that at least i,ve not left her skint with the thought that she cannot accuse me of not caring, no matter what happens in her future.

For our past relationship she was entitled to something within my means and had earned it.

I,m not saying they all deserve it, but after all only TS can decide on the merits of his offer.

I may also be called a fool but i have to follow my own standards and judgement , just like T.S. will.

No regrets.

I hope you,ve managed to get space between you for now till you sort your affairs out and get your

future priorities on track.

Ignore the negative posts and scroll past them once you get the sound bites and concentrate on the positive observations that have been offered.

marshbags

P.S. Don,t know what happened with the blank post but you can knock it off my tally as a failure, sorry T.Visa

Edited April 17, 2006 by marshbags

[The Skipper]

I'm not going to let a couple remarks bother me. In fact, when I posted this thread I was expecting much worse and pleasantly suprised by the care TV members have shown.

I recall having made some ill-advised posts here myself in the past.

UPDATE:

I guess the family was starting to feel the heat.

I sent them an SMS stating the building had security cameras everywhere, everything on video.

They returned my passport and bankbook today.

No suitcase, clothes or the money.

She is so clever she took my passport this morning to immigration and did my 90 day reporting duties saying that's why she took it. She was just doing me a favor.

Gee, pound down my door for 5 hours just to be nice.

What a sweetheart.

Edited April 17, 2006 by The Skipper

[ray23]

Bot this things are alway crazy no matter where they are, picked your vacation spot yet

[OneeyedJohn]

I utterly sympathise wiv u Skip and hope u find a way out of it. I have no helpful advice as I've been married to only one Thai lady for 20 years plus. I like ur attitude to ur soon ex and lets hope u prove the saying that wot goes round comes round...arghhh something like that.

Good luck.

[kenk3z]

Where are you legally married and registered? Thailand, USA or both?

If married only in Thailand I expect she will not be able to afford chasing you back to the USA with a claim for alimony. You need to disappear ASAP. Does she have ID credentials to be able to even travel to the USA?

I am curious how the passport was returned to you. Small detail, but wonder if she left it at the building security?

I hear and read this is not uncommon behavior with Thai women. Apparently it can happen over much, much less than being married for 9.5 years.

Most of us reading this should be thinking - how could something like this be forseen if not in the first 9.5 years of marriage? And what are my chances of avoiding the same?

kenk3z

[Jeff1]

Run Forest , RUN !

[cobra]

Ok, Now I get a call, Monday am, my wife, at the police station, asking me to come there and get my passport.

Yea, like I'm going to walk into a Thai Police Station, face her, family and Thai Police?

The same people that caused all this drama. No way.

That's a good call and prudent,

At this point who's knows the extent of collusion, just replace your passport, they get lost and stolen everyday.

As previously suggested, a go-between, some legal agent or representative should handle any meetings and interactions.

Also events like this can really hammer your health, (stress, depressed immunity, ..), don't let this get you sick on top of everything else, relax, deep breaths and your favorite drink, ... let the healing begin,

[The Skipper]

The drama continues..

I hope it doesn't become a Trilogy.

OK, now I get emails from concerned friends in California, telling me to get drug treatment etc.

SHE TOLD THEM SHE FOUND ME IN A HOTEL ROOM, IN BANGKOK, ON, DRUGS AND LOST WEIGHT!

SAYS I BEAT HER & THREW HER OUT TO THE STREET WITH NO MONEY. NOWHERE TO GO.

She is also on a plane, right now, to California continue her rampage on my million dollar cottage.

Needless to say, I have been busy on the phone with lawyers etc.

The renters are prepared to call the police, the courts are working on a TROrder,

The sheriff is on red alert.

She is suicidal and this might make her crack, I don't know.

Her family should chain her to a chair till she settles down.

A real headache for me and my friends too.

Jeff

[opothai]

well skip you've tried doing things the nice way and been fair about it.

why not put you're foot down and retract every offer you have made, until she sees some sense,

the way things are looking she is not going to stop at all until she has damaged you in one way or another [ monitory or violently ]

it is only advise people can give to you as you are the person in this predicament and you must make you're own mind up as to what direction you take.

wishing you luck on the eventual outcome.

[Old Croc]

How do you get to this stage with a woman? Do you not take the most basic steps of self protection? It's not as if there're real people.

[bkkmadness]

What a terrible situation Skipper, but don't worry, it'll pass and just be a memory one day, a story for the pub. Good luck with it mate.

[Heng]

I think it's sometimes easier to blame the legal system, the cops, the security guards, and of course the prime minister.... but in the end, in many cases it's just poor judgement/decision making on the part of the injured party themselves (not saying that is the case here), whether it's choice of spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or business partner.

In this case it sounds (again.... just what it sounds like, no idea if it's the case or not) taking farm girls/boys or retail or factory working peons with virtually no future, giving them hope, alienating them from their own social circle and perhaps entire society, and then taking it away -through divorce or breakup- hoping both parties can just go back to the way things were probably sounds like charity to some folks, but to the folks on the other end of the spectrum is perhaps more like cruel and unusual punishment. IMO it's hardly suprising that you get people who freak out when this is done to them.

[kat]

is this kind of thing a thai woman thing or are there other cultures that act in this way. way over the top.

it happens the world around. A women scorned and all that!!!

I'm sorry, but "they're all the same" quips just aren't going to cut it. There is nothing like the frequency and intensity of this kind of madness that I have ever witnessed before coming here. Thailand is not the penis reattachment hub of the world for nothing.

She is from a real decent family, all with good careers, cars, houses, kids in college.

They never scammed me for a dime although I recall buying some schoolboook and probably numerous unknown small gifts. Gave her mom a small monthly allowance, like all her brothers and sisters do.

They looked after me and would never let me pay on a nite out.

Recommended to me by her boss 15 years ago. She was married to a Thai Senator along time ago.

We are both in our late 40s.

She is having a tough time facing her future.

I thought I was giving her a real "soft landing".

... Went to work at a hotel as a receptionist. 6000bt is a common salary for this position.

Excuse me Heng, but did you read the thread? This is not simply about some poor Issan girl or retail hack. I am female, and have heard versions of this story from every social class in Thailand. Sorry, but you are either blind or delusional.

And for everyone else who was questioning her previous work, as quoted above - it is not uncommon. She was introduced to Skipper by her boss, right? This is a no-brainer: she took the job in a top-end hotel as a receptionist precisely to meet her next gravy ticket.

Skipper, it's near the end of the thread and you've received really great advice. I'm really sorry to hear about your trouble. I hope that the entrusted folks back home protect your property and assets, because this <deleted> is insane! By the way, a couple of months back, a male friend of mine neglected to move after a nasty breakup (*here in Bangkok), and she was let into his apartment despite his instructions to security as well - funny coincidence, huh? But, it wasn't very funny when she went at him with a knife, straight for his heart, and opened up his chest, and made long slice marks down his arms!

He moved.

*edit

Edited April 21, 2006 by kat