Farang V Farang Why are we ignoring each other?

[jackflash]

When up country, I always smile and nod when I see a westerner.

Just being polite.

But more often than not I am either ignored or glared at...

[vahack]

yea i think the OP was too vague. is he talking about the country or the city? there are different protocols.

out in the country i see 1-5 farang a week so i always at least smile and nod. its the same protocol i would use in the sticks back in the US. in the city, i usually smile all the time anyway, but never engage. talking to city farang can be dangerous and time consuming.

it does annoy me when i smile and nod in Macro or Lotus to the only other farang in the place and they give me a dirty look or sneer. i usually say '<deleted> you too' (still smiling, as i would in the states) and see if that gets a reaction. usually they ignore that too, which leads me to the conclusion that they don't speak English lol

[HerbalEd]

Farang 'coldness' can be irritating....but isn't it what they are doing back home too?

They have't changed the software upon landing..

Highly recommended.

No, it's definitely worse here in Thailand ... at least more so than in USA. I used to at least give a nod or even an "hello" but after so many stonewalls I gave up.

Alas, civility is near dead and even friends don't talk to each other that much anymore and instead everybody's staring into their damned phones and pads.

[HerbalEd]

For me, it depends on the person.

If he/she is wearing the equivalent of slap shoes and a beep nose, I give a wide birth.

Yeah ... you can tell everything about the person by that, huh? No need to talk to anyone who's not like you.

[Khunangkaro]

They seem to get upset with me when I say you have a very lovely daughter.

When I go out with my wife, our son and my MIL (same good looking as her offspring) , I am with two daughters and one son! Seems to be confusing to some people.

Not to us, we are a happy family with extremely good understanding and great loving cordial respect, nothing to do with age.

On occasion meeting you and your compliment I would thank you and say:

"Whom you call my very lovely daughter I call her Mae and here her daughter is my lovely wife with our son." LOL with my family.

[Kananga]

Ive noticed this too. Ove only been living in Thailand for 2 months (chiang mai) and when passing a farang on the streets I always notice them purposefully avoiding eye contact. Ill stare at them in passing and say hi or nod my head if they glance at me but they rarely do.

Ive given this some thought... I really think they feel like they moved here, this is their country now, and they dont like outsiders here.

And for the people saying they just act the same as back home.... I dont think thats the case. Most people when passing eachother on the sidewalk will nod at each other at a minimum... I think its the opposite to the extreme here.

Sent from my GT-I9500

Maybe they are just tourists who are sick of needy ex-pats continually trying to be their friend?

[ccarbaugh]

Here we go......knew it wouldn't be long before someone blamed the Thais.......gotta love the TV moaners eh!

No, NOT blaming the Thais- Just observing the truth. Much like the OP, I have wondered about this "rude and arrogant" act as well. I have concluded that since we are swimming in the midst of a very distrusting and secretive society- (objective observation,) that a high percentage of foreigners adopt the same unfriendly, non-social characteristics as their "host-society." If you observe closely, you will see that Thais aren't at all friendly and social even with each other- (only with closest family members.)

I have long wanted to start a thread on this forum in order to develop some strategy to counter the (officially sanctioned and encouraged,) prevailing attitude among the general Thai population that farangs are old, fat-bellied, bald, alcoholic sex-addicts. Sure, some of us fit that description to varying degrees but I've travelled throughout Thailand extensively and the vast majority of farangs I meet are honest, (reluctantly) friendly, and are trying to enjoy their lives and provide for their adopted families as well as they can. I think this needs to be made known to Thai society instead of it being disregarded by focusing on the 2 - 3 percent that justify the current generalization of farangs by Thais now.

.... stepping off soapbox now - jus sayin...

[scotbeve]

the lack of comment on this post says it all about most farang living here . i admit that when shopping i dont always aknowledge other farang which is how it is in my home country unless i actually know the person . so i am acting normaly which i imagine every one else is .

I was brought up the old school way... when you meet ANY person on the street, you should say some sort of (polite) salutation... I've made either an attempted smile or grin - if not in a really good mood. And a "good morning (afternoon or night) ALL times when in a semi-chipper mood. In my 33 years here I've seen too many carunts - I bid them ALL bon voyage! GO BACK HOME ya' miserable gits!

[spectrumisgreen]

If there's lots of other farangs about, as someone said like in a city, then I wouldn't particularly think about their presence just as I know they aren't thinking about mine. However, if I'm in some place and see only another person or two I tend to look and smile. Sometimes it comes back, sometimes not. I do think a lot of farangs tend to assume that everyone else is here for the 'usual' 'young ladies paid for' and/ or cheap alcohol reasons and that their own presence/ reasons for being here are the only 'worthy' and sincere ones...

[villagefarang]

ccarbaugh,

I don’t know. I have lived in Thailand for a wee bit, but the vast majority of Thais I meet and have met, don’t even vaguely resemble your stereotype.

Edited August 28, 2013 by villagefarang

[scotbeve]

Ive noticed this too. Ove only been living in Thailand for 2 months (chiang mai) and when passing a farang on the streets I always notice them purposefully avoiding eye contact. Ill stare at them in passing and say hi or nod my head if they glance at me but they rarely do.

Ive given this some thought... I really think they feel like they moved here, this is their country now, and they dont like outsiders here.

And for the people saying they just act the same as back home.... I dont think thats the case. Most people when passing eachother on the sidewalk will nod at each other at a minimum... I think its the opposite to the extreme here.

Sent from my GT-I9500

Maybe they are just tourists who are sick of needy ex-pats continually trying to be their friend?

Kenny,

How would one know another's status being here without a chat? Here's a question - more directed to the other old hands - (admin - maybe another topic??? or off topic???). From what country is the worst/impolite expat from and where are the best from? Yeah, I know, loads of variables and a very broad, sweeping, and generalized question....

[bigbamboo]

I must be a naturally friendly fella but i will say 'Gidday mate' to almost anybody .if they don't want to respond it is no skin off my back. i don't expect lifelong friendships. if i am sitting next to somebody on a seat i will strike up a conversation to pass time . if i am waiting in a que i will find somebody to talk & joke with .Just light hearted banter. After a few sentences we will both move on to other adventures or back to our own life.. <deleted>. I have even had the nigerians around Nana talk to me . We exchange a few words and keep on going. It is only the Indian tailors i will not talk to. Lesson learnt many years ago. i will try to talk to my cab driver and practice my Thai . Usually they find what i say is hilarious - don't know if it what i say or how i say it. but we depart smiling . But with many ex-pat falungs , i don't understand their problem . Life is too short & boring to snarl at everybody all the time..

That's good to hear from an Aussie.

You must be the exception though. Whenever I greet one of our cousins from down under with a friendly wave and ask them about rugby or cricket all I get are miserable looks.

[PhilipCook]

Back home in Montana we see greet everyone we make eye contact with. Back home in Detroit we don't try to make eye contact. Here I walk daily in my spare time, both in Pattaya(weekdays) and Bangkok(weekends). Walking in Pattaya brings me in contact with lots of Russians and whether there is eye contact or not, there is no facial expression whatsoever so I offer the same. Walking in Bangkok on the sidewalks means dodging motorcycles(cops, taxis, delivery guys), street vendors, safety hazards so again, acknowledging strangers isn't the priority. But when I go back to Montana, I would be rude to avoid greeting the locals with 'hiya, howdy, hi, hello, how are you, how y'all doing, hey' but not all at once.

[cooked]

Ive noticed this too. Ove only been living in Thailand for 2 months (chiang mai) and when passing a farang on the streets I always notice them purposefully avoiding eye contact. Ill stare at them in passing and say hi or nod my head if they glance at me but they rarely do.

Ive given this some thought... I really think they feel like they moved here, this is their country now, and they dont like outsiders here.

And for the people saying they just act the same as back home.... I dont think thats the case. Most people when passing eachother on the sidewalk will nod at each other at a minimum... I think its the opposite to the extreme here.

Sent from my GT-I9500

Maybe they are just tourists who are sick of needy ex-pats continually trying to be their friend?

Kenny,

How would one know another's status being here without a chat? Here's a question - more directed to the other old hands - (admin - maybe another topic??? or off topic???). From what country is the worst/impolite expat from and where are the best from? Yeah, I know, loads of variables and a very broad, sweeping, and generalized question....

I lived in a small mountain village in Switzerland and if you didn't reply to a good morning the whole village would know about it. Not like that everywhere of course.

[Nayet]

I'll say hello or nod at another farang if I get eye contact or he/she does it first, JUST like I would with a Thai person. I don't see why I should do it any more with people who happen to have the same skin color as me??

[TheRedlines]

I figure for the most part the Farang Men I run across are here supporting the very thing I am here to help the Thais abolish. There is nothing like coming to Thailand that will leave you with such a disgusting opinion of your own kind. You just become tired of always being disappointed so you continue on walking rather than stop and say hello.

[Wat dee]

24/7 chang can in hand walking alcoholic(talks like scottish) who just is looking for as pathetic drinking buddy...pass.

[uty6543]

I must be a naturally friendly fella but i will say 'Gidday mate' to almost anybody .if they don't want to respond it is no skin off my back. i don't expect lifelong friendships. if i am sitting next to somebody on a seat i will strike up a conversation to pass time . if i am waiting in a que i will find somebody to talk & joke with .Just light hearted banter. After a few sentences we will both move on to other adventures or back to our own life.. <deleted>. I have even had the nigerians around Nana talk to me . We exchange a few words and keep on going. It is only the Indian tailors i will not talk to. Lesson learnt many years ago. i will try to talk to my cab driver and practice my Thai . Usually they find what i say is hilarious - don't know if it what i say or how i say it. but we depart smiling . But with many ex-pat falungs , i don't understand their problem . Life is too short & boring to snarl at everybody all the time..

That's good to hear from an Aussie.

You must be the exception though. Whenever I greet one of our cousins from down under with a friendly wave and ask them about rugby or cricket all I get are miserable looks.

They look miserable because Australia have just lost to the English. Again

[Woodsie888]

I must be a naturally friendly fella but i will say 'Gidday mate' to almost anybody .if they don't want to respond it is no skin off my back. i don't expect lifelong friendships. if i am sitting next to somebody on a seat i will strike up a conversation to pass time . if i am waiting in a que i will find somebody to talk & joke with .Just light hearted banter. After a few sentences we will both move on to other adventures or back to our own life.. <deleted>. I have even had the nigerians around Nana talk to me . We exchange a few words and keep on going. It is only the Indian tailors i will not talk to. Lesson learnt many years ago. i will try to talk to my cab driver and practice my Thai . Usually they find what i say is hilarious - don't know if it what i say or how i say it. but we depart smiling . But with many ex-pat falungs , i don't understand their problem . Life is too short & boring to snarl at everybody all the time..

That's good to hear from an Aussie.

You must be the exception though. Whenever I greet one of our cousins from down under with a friendly wave and ask them about rugby or cricket all I get are miserable looks.

I can understand that! If I were an Ozzie, i'd be a bit distressed about our cricket and rugby too.

[balo]

I have Filipino friends living in Bangkok and they always talk to strangers from their own country because they know they are Filipinos. Same with Japanese and Koreans.

You cant expect a farang to do the same , we look the same , I dont speak Russian or Dutch. But I look like any other guy with white skin. If hear someone speaks my mother language Norwegian I always say hello.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[xen]

I must be a naturally friendly fella but i will say 'Gidday mate' to almost anybody .if they don't want to respond it is no skin off my back. i don't expect lifelong friendships. if i am sitting next to somebody on a seat i will strike up a conversation to pass time . if i am waiting in a que i will find somebody to talk & joke with .Just light hearted banter. After a few sentences we will both move on to other adventures or back to our own life.. <deleted>. I have even had the nigerians around Nana talk to me . We exchange a few words and keep on going. It is only the Indian tailors i will not talk to. Lesson learnt many years ago. i will try to talk to my cab driver and practice my Thai . Usually they find what i say is hilarious - don't know if it what i say or how i say it. but we depart smiling . But with many ex-pat falungs , i don't understand their problem . Life is too short & boring to snarl at everybody all the time..

That's good to hear from an Aussie.

You must be the exception though. Whenever I greet one of our cousins from down under with a friendly wave and ask them about rugby or cricket all I get are miserable looks.

I can understand that! If I were an Ozzie, i'd be a bit distressed about our cricket and rugby too.

okay okay, we have our off times sometimes too !

[nodomino]

Upon arrival here several years back I continued my openness to speak and acknowledge other farang. However, it became obvious after a few impromptu chats that other gregarious farang here were generally seeking out targets for scamming. Several farang who I knew for one minute needed to borrow money, use my cell phone or some such interaction. I would be unlikely to be accommodating to such requests anywhere but here they are predicated on the presumption of the shared identity of 'otherness'. Which is just the hook to reel in some mark. I now pass through the throngs like most others, avoiding casual contact with other farang much as one would avoid stepping onto a dog shit on the pavement.

[bow]

I divide my time between a very small town and Bangkok.

In the small town where there are very few farang we all great each other.

In Bangkok, I treat farang like everybody else, I ignore them unless there is some reason to interact. There is an exception; if two people speak loudly in my native language assuming that nobody will understand a word, I will usually say "Hej !" to inform them that they are not exactly having a private conversation.

Edited August 28, 2013 by bow

[RaysFan]

Well a few people attacked my post... not sure why. Im from Florida, lived in Germany, Guam, Qatar, and now thailand. Of course were talking about expats here... and ive never had problems with expats until thailand... everyone is usually very friendly most places. Thailand just seems different. Maybe its the type of person who moves here? Perverts, alcoholics, social outcasts, people who have lost everything.... or like I said in my first post... people who moved here and now they feel like they should be the only farang... even to the point where they get mad seeing another living here. They like the uniqueness of being the only one. The ability to get girls far out of their league, special treatment because of their skin color... and everytime they see another farang... this ability slightly drops as they become less unique.

Sent from my GT-I9500

[Oishii]

the lack of comment on this post says it all about most farang living here . i admit that when shopping i dont always aknowledge other farang which is how it is in my home country unless i actually know the person . so i am acting normaly which i imagine every one else is .

Yes, but if you live in a small town or village up country, and you see a Farang you do not know, it would be nice to acknowledge him, then see what reaction you get, if it is positve, I would start up a conversation with him.

I live in a small town, up country. If I go into town, I may see 1 or 2 other farang a week. If I go to Lotus, I see at least 1 farang every visit. On one visit to Lotus I counted 19 farang.

I always try to make eye contact and if they do the same, then I will at least say "Hi". But, I must say that very few ever make eye contact. They seem to deliberately look the other way. It can be annoying sometimes, but my Thai wife and I usually end up laughing about it.

[transam]

Those here that have met me know I am a laid back, happy go lucky kind of guy. When I am in Tesco's say, if a farang is about to pass I smile and nod, BUT, most just turn their head away BUT, their lady usually spots my smile and returns it. Great stuff. Yeh it might be cos I am soooooo hansum, but nooooooooo, a Thai will spot and feel camaraderie.

[umbanda]

At least for an American..its needs many years of training here to learn how to smile.

[1Ping1]

Rule number one. The old saying for me is do not pi### where you sleep. I have explained this also to my Thai wife and after two years she agrees 100%.

We have great close friends, some neighbors, but we also finally moved once due to me forgetting about rule number one.

[atyclb]

Most foreigners I come across are 15/20 years my senior why would I want to converse with them.

I wouldn't in my home country,so I don't here.

Some of the greatest knowledge that I acquired was from people 20, 30, 40 and even 60 years my senior.

In my humble opinion, the odds of acquiring great knowledge from senior or junior expats in thailand are less than overwhelming.

[tingtongfarang]

I notice many here saying they dont feel the need to say hello because they have the same skin colour, i even find it strange that skin colour comes in it at all, All my life i have had friends of all shades be they african, jamaican.indian, the fact i am white is of no consequence,

One poster also made a joke saying others get upset when he says they have a nice daughter, big mistake to stereo type for instance i am often underway with younger girls and i have seen these looks other farangs gave but infact most often it happens when i am with a thai friends daughter but the people who give us the strange loooks could,nt be more wrong in their thinking, she has a thai father- english mother and i know both her and her brother since they were babies,

The looks other farangs give us seems to make her angry and at times she might even say something, most often it seems to be western female tourists, when traveling with her brother its me who gets angry, even one time i was accused of being gay and with my payed toy boy

Too many farangs here stereo type and get it completely wrong but almost never do thais make the same mistake.

Edited August 28, 2013 by tingtongfarang