Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?

[gmac]

Fit in yes, find a job no! No problems fitting in socially as I hate the majority of the human race wherever I am so just avoid people as much as possible anyway. Job wise, no chance, nearly 60, no current work skills after 10+ years retired in Thailand and cost of living in UK would be impossible now on what would probably have to be minimum wage.

[kangeroo]

I spend about 7 months north of Korat and the rest in aus and the only big problem I have is adjusting to paying for everything when I am In Aus apart from that I enjoy going to Aus getting everything organised to go back to thai

[Forethat]

To me, home is where my friends are. Home is where I have all my stuff and my cars. As equally important, home to me is where others that depend on you feel safe. This would include any girlfriends, children and pets.

To others, home is the definition of a geographical location that was PREVIOUSLY home.

Home? What is home? I dunno...home means different things to all of us, that's obvious.

[chrisinth]

Just about says it all..................

Click on the thumb...............

[chrisinth]

To be honest, I don't think 'fitting in' would be a problem.

Continuing to compare 'home' with Thailand would be the problem.......................

In my case, I have been static in Thailand longer than any other period of my life with regards to actually residing ('guest' or not before anyone has a dig......... ). Taking that into account and disregarding where you were born, where is 'home'?

[BigSkookum]

Yeah, I've wondered this myself, after 14 months gone from Canada, and six years, more or less, from my home province, British Columbia. And like others here, I never "fit in" back home, especially once in the other provinces and found Canadian life and attitudes.....stifling. Even before I left. Now after about 7 months on Samui, used to its ambience and international polyglot friendliness, I've been grappling with a possible need to go back home for access to health services. Weighing it all, though, the cost of airfare back, the higher cost of living, the more stressful life in general, the cold climate (which thickens blood, not something my health needs right now) and the physical limitations and dangers that implies (slipping and falling, for example, or being housebound a lot) strikes me as "just not worth it". I note someone else here commenting on how the US has changed re the Bush-Cheney era, and much the same has gone down and is going down with the current regime in Canada, and the way people are.....not just tolerating it, but buying into it, when not actively trying to fight it - without any effective means to do so. It's made me just want to forget - to turn on, tune in and drop out, so to speak.....suffice to say I'm looking for a way to stay and to not have to return to the rainy streets of Vancouver, or the icy streets of Toronto or Halifax or St John's, anytime soon......maybe not Thailand, but somewhere it's warm, and it's still OK to smile at people without them being afraid of you..... I miss my mountains, I don't miss most of the people who live there. And one thing's for sure, if and when I do leave here, I'll miss Thai food....

Attaching a couple of pics from St John's, Newfoundland, to underscore my point about the bad weather. The view of the harbour was the day I left last year, in mid-April.....it had been a warm spring evening the night before...very nice....I got up, and the temperature was below zero, the wind had turned around from the north, and filled the harbour with ice....you could hear it grinding. The guy you can see walking is in a long stride because it was cold and windy, he was trying to get somewhere warm. We walk like that subconsciously there, you just do it...it's only looking at that today that I "scanned" on that......we walk tighter, our accents are close-mouthed and tight-lipped to keep our tongues from freezing, and manners can be curt for the same reason. Whenever I half-think about going back, I have pictures on hand like these to remind me why not.....the next picture on that "roll" (my iPhone's databank) was from Walking Street in Pattaya, my first day on the ground here.....

[robertthebruce]

Interesting topic. The more I think about it, the more complicated it becomes.. but some of the key points become more obvious.

I come from a small nation, which is pretty homogenious. People share the same way how they see the values and the world. The country is very stabile and secure.

Ever since I was a kid I loved to travel. I needed to travel! I still have the urge. It's not about moving, but more of learning. People from different cultures gives the best opportunity for this. Like here in Thailand. There is always something new to learn, every day.

I have been living in South-East Asia for the past decade. Last time I visited my home country was 5 years ago. I feel quite reluctant to even visit the place. The reason is not yet clear to myself. However I made an promise to go there next summer, which might clarify the thoughts at the time.

So I feel that I'm not ready to go back home, at least not yet. There is still so many places to visit and so many things to learn. Next I might move from Thailand to some other location and get a kickstart for new culture shock once again.

When I hit my age of rocking chair, then it might be nice to go back and share the experiences with others, if there is still some old friends who wish to listen.

Excellent posting.. i feel the same, its such a good feeling, Like yourself, i will hang up my shoes, when i am ready for that Rocking Chair.. but thats a long way away i hope....

[alexmaniax]

After 14 years here in thai, I now know that I never blend with my countrymen, amsterdam has also changed

A LOT! Too many rules, speed of daily life, people not getting your message anymore (u know what I mean, do you?) AND OF COURSE the chicks! I left as a 40 year old, never having problems to pick up a gal, BUT now I come back becoming 55 years soon. The old tricks don't work anymore, should I dat a 50 year old emancipated fat dutch chick? NO WAY! This never works for me! So better stay in thai having the feeling (sometimes) to be loved by one (lying at myself, I know ) but I like it! I now know a good relationship with a thaigirl is like winning in the lottery! IT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME! So please let me have my illusions ( as long as it doesn't cost me too much) After so many years here I must admit I do like this country and its people, YES, I do!

Edited September 6, 2013 by alexmaniax

[lenna00]

My experience living here and not long (6 months but visit every year) is every foreigner here has a purpose: they love young boys, love the prostitutes, alcoholics, gay, drug attics, or running from the law... And That is the truth... Now if they go home to wherever they came from, they are not excepted or they are hiding the truth of what they prefer or not excepted in their own countries...

perhaps you should change where you obviously prefer to hang out if you want something different.

[alexmaniax]

Quick aside: For 5 years I lived in New York City in an older apartment building that still had a manually operated elevator. When the building employee maneuvered the elevator to my floor I would get off and then turn to him and say 'Thank you'. Problem was this became so habitual that when I would get off the automated elevator in a modern NYC office building and would turn and say 'Thank you' and the people remaining in the elevator would look at me as a nut-case.

So when I go back to the US, I do things that I habitually do in Thailand and probably don't readjust until it's time to go back again -- like saying 'Kaap maak' at the US grocery store.

Kaap maak?????????????

[KRaymond]

Just make where ever the place that makes you comfortable, 'Your home'.

[guzzi850m2]

Coming from Denmark I can relate to BigSkookum's post, okay the winters are not often that brutal but some years it can get below -15 Deg.C.

I don't miss that one bit and is one of my main reasons not moving back, not only the winters but also the miserable days with strong winds/rain of which we have a lot.

I think I could fit in in the summer month (3 if you are lucky) but the rest of the year, no thanks, I would be bitching about the weather all the time.

Nanny state as most of the so called developed world, no thanks, when you are getting used to the way of living here that would be very hard to go back to.

The other day the cops stopped me in the truck at a check point and I was going pretty fast until I saw it, the cop said: show me your license.

I gave him my 5 year Thai license and the cop said, take it easy mister and gave it back to me, lol.

In Denmark they would have you on the radar/camera and take points from you and pay a hefty fine.

[ABCer]

Home? Let me think: born in Germany, raised in Kenya, hotel school in Switzerland, stints in Luxembourg, Dubai, China, 20 years in SE Asia. Darn, I don't know where home is!

Home is where you feel THE MOST comfortable, safe, happy.

All other concepts - Motherland, Fatherland, etc. - are fruits of sexist propaganda trying to brainwash us into actions contrary to our personal interests.

Needless to say that feeling of being AT HOME changes with the circumstances. This makes us move, relocate.

Gov'ts (all of them) try to control these movements - hence Visas, border controls, Passports, etc.

[OldChinaHam]

"Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?"

Faggedaboutit!

[RtotheC]

I've been back "home" a couple times in the past 7 years to visit family and friends. I can't adjust back to American lifestyle. Eveytime i go back it's the same people doing the same things, complaining about their jobs not paying enough and others wishing they at least had a job. I'm much more happy overseas, and hopefully someday i'll be able to retire overseas.

[Ulic]

I don't have any trouble as I split time back and forth but I have changed. The last time back we went out for

my birthday dinner. A nice restaurant, in a small city in Canada. My buddy ordered shrimp pad tai. With tax and tip

this one plate was $36. whole meal was about $60 a person with minimal drinking as we were driving.

I just think of Thailand and as a result am pretty much a hermit back home. If it were not for close friends

and family I would not go back.

[giggles]

since many returnees have no choice because they have just a pee-pot for company they have no choice but to fit in

a pal of mine recently returned from Egypt where he retired ,he came back after selling his house in panic ,and cant repatriate his money out of Egypt .

now he is GOING BACK as he cant afford to live in the UK any more, funds are too little .

Edited September 6, 2013 by giggles

[Bpuumike]

I'm going back after 10 years. Really looking forward to it. Thailand has changed, and not for the better. The cons far outweigh the pros here now. Looking forward to feeling safe on the roads, being able to buy the land your house is built on, not seeing people literally get away with murder on a weekly basis, sidewalks you can actually walk on, less pollution, a police force that for the most part has the mindset they are there to protect and serve the people who pay their salaries, instead of sucking more money out of them, not having to pay out of your own pocket to put your children through any sort of acceptable education system, not worrying that if you have an accident that an ambulance will not turn up and if it did that people would actually get out of the way to let it through, 90 day visa hassles, taxis that will actually take you where you want to go and the drivers aren't drunk or carry weapons, balconies that dont seem to have an anti gravity device fitted to them that ejects people over the top, gridlock traffic 16 hours a day, seasons and long summer evenings etc etc.

That's a great 180 degree post. The topic was would you fit in back home and you have turned it into an Anti Thai Tirade of why almost no one could fit in in Thailand.

Indeed, doesn't seem to fit in here, never mind back home.

[MegaRanter]

To the OP question, it really depend the age you left your home country.

I left after my studies, after 15 years, I am back 2 years now, I fit in at some level. My peers from school days run the show in the government and private sectors, their contacts are quite extensive compared to me having Thai visa buddies.

I now feel I never should have left at all. But Thailand was fun,

[Bpuumike]

That's down to each individual person really isnt it. You say you didn't fit in before you left? why would you fit in when you returned and what difference would living in Thailand for "half a decade" make? Do you only mix with ex-pats when abroad or do mix with locals too? On a personal level I've lived abroad since 1976 with a few years here and there back in England. Last 12 years in Thailand but I've lived in Israel, Brazil and Spain to name a few (lucky ol' me) and the point is this; Each country has it's own peculiarities and quirks. So what? EWhen I go home my friemds are still my friends and my kids are still my kids and i relish it! Do you think this will impact you're own personal history satying here or any other country? I'll bet you're one of these people that when you're in a bar here you say how great you're home pub is "best Sunday lunch" etc and when you go home you say how great it is here in your local? Just jog on and ejoy what life has to throw at you mate!

Yes to all.

Have lived in several countries and Spain 12 years before LOS.

I could 'fit in' back in the UK but why?

I miss Spain much more, especially the food, and could 'fit in' there any time, but it does get cold in Winter.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Thailand is a place to come when you are old, alone and fully funded.

No good for youngsters at all, except for a holiday.

I certainly wouldn't return to the USA, but must admit South America is a little tempting (or even Mexico).

[slipperylobster]

I feel like the invisible man back home..... compared to the looks i get here!

[philliphn]

Heck, yeah. I'd fit in. It's been twelve years since I've been back, but I'm sure there'd be no problem. Fitting in in Thailand, now that was impossible. I have a very low tolerance for lies, scams, crime, corruption, crap service, filth, pollution (air/noise), traffic, rudeness, shoddy workmanship, etc. Living in Japan is harmonious with my general appreciation of adherence to the law, quiet, cleanliness, politeness, quality, beauty, and common sense.

Problem is that in Japan, they hate the Gaijin. Know what I mean!

[guzzi850m2]

I feel like the invisible man back home..... compared to the looks i get here!

I fell very invisible here in Pattaya.

Now try the Philippines or Indonesia or Japan and you are not invisible anymore.

I been working in those 3 places so I know.

[gamini]

I find I can't live without servants thats why I won't return to England. When I left we still has good servants there but now it would be difficult to find them and very expensive.

[diggledunc]

stay away too long and you dont have a home to go to. no one tells you that when you leave.

me i've fitted in to many places on the planet, but fitting into the slot i once called home, i doubt it still exists and not sure i would even want to. just a casual drifting away with longer and longer absences to the point of never returning.

A very sage comment you made I have found the same.

[GuestHouse]

Do you "fit in" here?

I believe I've fitted in very well in Thailand and I have over the years very much enjoyed my time there, many happy memories and many dear friends in Thailand who I plan to visit in the future.

But with respect to the OP's question.

Absolutely I think I would fit in - I've just spent a month back home in the UK - I had a wonderful time and not once did I feel the place rubbing me or making me wish I was not there.

I'd list all the good things about being home, but doing so upsets some members who are of the mind that we can't express any good sentiments about anywhere other than Thailand without by doing so be taking part in slagging Thailand off.

A good life in Thailand and a good life back home are not mutually exclusive.

[cpofc]

Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?

The question for me is, whether I would fit in if I never left

Edited September 6, 2013 by cpofc

[dighambara]

From experience, 1 easily adapts back in homecountry. The "relatepart" is or can be an issue in contact with others who never lived abroad. The 1 thing i liked living in LOS that i never read any newspapers so hardly knew what was happening back home. After a while i never even read the bangkok post anymore.

Hope for you that you do not need to go back soon.

From Experience, having done it a few times, one never fully readapts. I now see many homespun / common ideas as idiotic, when I had never challenged them before going abroad. Yes, I also see many Thai things do not make much sense, but I have lived in a coupel of different cultures, so not all of my puzzlement comes fro western thinking.

[Issangeorge]

I fit in here so I'm sure I would fit on back home, but why for heavens sake would I want to?

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