Do's and Dont's when meeting a thai girls family for the first time?

[TheSpade]

Take a small gift, that's fair enough, but handing over cash seems like a bizarre approach to me.

Bad precedent.

[MAJIC]

Be yourself and let them take care of you.

Take spoke prepared food for yourself, make sure your girlfriend explains why. But also try there food.

Ps: keep your wallet at home.

Yeah, take your own food and bring out to eat when they are chowing down on whatever, or better sit outside alone and eat it.....great way to impress.

Is there anything that I should remember not do that would be perfectly normal in the western world tho maybe disrectful to a thai?

Dont leave the toilet seat up.

And according to some, dont wear shorts....but that is only if you like to grovel and cannot stand the thought of ever upsetting their sensitive souls.

Dont pick your teeth with your fingers....nor fart at the table...or floor.

"Don't leave the toilet seat up"

What toilet seat?

[ryro88]

Yes of course I will bring a gift. Tho I plan to hand over a small sum before we leave nothing major.

[ryro88]

Just to say thank you.

[transam]

Yes of course I will bring a gift. Tho I plan to hand over a small sum before we leave nothing major.

I wouldn't. Noooooooooooooooooo.

[ryro88]

I won't miss 3 or 4 thousand baht it's only to say thank you. Not the end of the world.

[transam]

I won't miss 3 or 4 thousand baht it's only to say thank you. Not the end of the world.

Up to you, BUT, you do not do it, your bird does.

[Songhua]

I won't miss 3 or 4 thousand baht it's only to say thank you. Not the end of the world.

I wouldn't do it ryro88, but If you feel it is the right thing to do, give it to the girl, tell her who it's for and don't personally make any comment or fuss about it to the parents whatsoever.

[HayabusaGSX]

Hi to you all i am new here. And English is not my first language :-) Lol !!

Have been living in Thailand for more then 5 years. And i have never been going to Isan with any of my x girl friends. But after meating a great girl 2 years a go. I had this idea to go to Isan to see how she and her family was living. To be honest this made a huge impact on me and my relationship with my girl friend and her family..

Her family is hard working peoples. Them are farmers making rice and fruites. I told my girl friend that i am just a average guy. And i not have a lot money. So not expect to much from me or that i can buy house and car to your family. That was not a problem she was just happy to take me home to show me where and how they are living.

When we arived to Phu Kradung the family was waiting at the bus stop. I did smile and wai to the family members. I was just my self and was not thinking to much about anything. I was so tired from the bus trip from Bangkok to Phu Kradung so i had to take a nap. When i woke up the family was all ready making food and talking realy loud. It was funy and exiting in many ways. But my girl friend had to transelate everything that i was saying. Even if i did try to talk some Thai :-) I did jump on the bike with my girl friend to go to a mini mart near by to spike up the party with some beer and whisky. Everything feels more easy and fun if we mao nit noi am i right ?? Then the talking and everything goes more smood i think :-)

The story goes on but over all i had a great time over ther. And have been there for 3 times after my first visit. I can not wait to go back. I feel like a king there because the family take care me and respect the way i am. Remember i am not a big spender but the family still respects me.

Like others have been saying many times now. Just be your self and respect the Thais and smile and nod from time to time. not ned to wai all the time just wai the first time and if its long time a go you have seen them. I have one more tip and thats to lower your self when walking by some one sitting or laying on the floor. The Thais do this all the time so why schouldent we do it ?? The more you understand the Thais the more respect you will get back.

Edited September 13, 2013 by HayabusaGSX

[giggles]

That's the plan Fdog I will be an experience if nothing else.

you will be mightily impressed with the squalid conditions so wear your rose tinted glasses at all times otherwise you will see things as they really are and decide to move there and build a house and farm

[kevvy]

Always remember the father is the "king" family comes first , then cousins , grandparents, maids, dogs , cats and then you .. take the family out for dinner but do not go to the home .

You forgot that the fleas that sit on the dog, come before the farang.

comment of the day still laughing

[kevvy]

Lol is it that bad folks?

jing jing ... it can be and on the other side it can be great .. But you will always be the farang ...

[kevvy]

Yes I am well aware of these issues and I don't mind helping out and giving out a few baht here and there to her family for putting us up for a night or two.

cheap hotels are only a few baht too.

[falkan]

They live in the countryside in ubon ratchatani and from what I can take from the pics I have seen they are not overly wealthy.

jackpot for the family! dont worry hahah...

[jimbobs1]

I just got pissed for the 2 days i was there, they thought i was nuts. No one said a word bad to me. Just be your self, i did ime still with her 6 years later getting happily drunk when the mood takes me

They started off with very low expectations of me and ive done nothing to change their minds

[transam]

Yes I am well aware of these issues and I don't mind helping out and giving out a few baht here and there to her family for putting us up for a night or two.

cheap hotels are only a few baht too.

My place is even cheaper with a sit on loo tooooooooooooo.

[jimbobs1]

Ile just tell you about a good mate of mine who tried to impress the GFs family

There was great excitement and talk of some election happening in the village, and the GFs father was up for election for this position.

My friend slightly drunk and caught up in the moment said ,"if you win i will buy you a buffalo"

The GFs father won by 4 votes to 1 ha ha

Swindled me thinks , but he laughed it off and bought the buffalo and binned the GF when he got back to Patts

True story ime afraid

[MAJIC]

Yes I am well aware of these issues and I don't mind helping out and giving out a few baht here and there to her family for putting us up for a night or two.

cheap hotels are only a few baht too.

My place is even cheaper with a sit on loo tooooooooooooo.

My wife bought the Parents a western loo,and a water pump last year,I guess squat toilets lose their appeal when you get over 60! My wife tells me it's the only western toilet in the village. I'm not bragging or anything,but I guess my in laws have suddenly become middle class.

[maccaroni man]

The OP says it is a friendly visit but I am wondering where is he planning to sleep, alone of with the GF? What is the do and don't on this issue?

[jbrain]

Yes I am well aware of these issues and I don't mind helping out and giving out a few baht here and there to her family for putting us up for a night or two.

cheap hotels are only a few baht too.

My place is even cheaper with a sit on loo tooooooooooooo.

And there was I, looking for a cheap place to stay when I go to Ubon

[Mossfinn]

Just ignore them !

Who? The girlfriends family or the posters on this thread?

[Mossfinn]

Is there anything that I should remember not do that would be perfectly normal in the western world tho maybe disrectful to a thai?

Don't offer to shake hands, ask your other half how to Wai to the parents.

[Mossfinn]

Pointing your feet to them whilst sitting down !

Although I agree this is a general rule, it is not a one size fits all, if you have difficulty in a cross legged position, and they understand this, they will encourage you to straighten your legs. Well, that is my experience anyway, but if you are able to refrain, best to do so.

[Mossfinn]

Avoid meeting them, don't visit their home, nothing there for a foreigner.

Are you seriously agreeing to marry the girl?

Because that's what meeting the parents means in a Thai village.

The meeting is called 'promise to marry'.

If you are meeting the family and staying over in the same room, there are, I am afraid, certain expectations, your choice.

[Mossfinn]

In no particular order :-

Take a bottle of J.W. (but not a single-malt, unless you like to drink it with soda) for her father, and give her a budget, to buy appropriate gifts for Mama and the rest of the family.

Speak softly and don't get over-excited or angry.

Don't try to impress them with your wealth, underplay your money, if you have any.

Dress reasonably-smartly, and wear a shirt.

Be prepared for a squatter, not a sit-upon loo.

Smile a lot, especially at your tirak.

This is pretty good advice, with a small difference if you would like to try, use Malt Whiskey, and try and explain it doesn't need ice, nor soda.

Good Luck, they will think you are an Alien, but it is good fun trying to introduce your culture, knowing they cannot resist trying.

[Mossfinn]

Do not show affection ie hug, fondle or even hold hands in their presence (at this stage) - particularly in front of her father - it's very bad form.

This is one to follow

[Mossfinn]

It is ok to point your feet at things, no problems.

If you drop some money pick it up with your toes.

When you see someone asleep on the floor it is ok to just step over them.

It is traditional to pat people on the head, it is akin to western handshake.

Feet up on the coffee table is just fine.

When first meeting the parents give them a big hug.

No sniff kissing, must be lip kisses.

It is ok eat with your shirt off.

When sitting around on the floor, make sure you sit in the higher position.

Wai everyone you see, especially the kids, it teaches them good manners.

After eating take the dishes away and start cleaning them yourself.

Never, I repeat never put ice in your beer, they are trying to trick you.

Eat food with your left hand.

These are the simple things I remembered to do when I met my ex-wifes family, it wasn't my fault they were racist and didn't like me.

You are a bad man Tuky, an honourable man, with plenty of posts and obvious long experience in Thailand, some people might actually follow your advice...........

[Mossfinn]

There's no plans to marry lol it's more or less just a trip to ubon to take a look around and a stop over in her house for a night or two on the way back to Bangkok. I just don't want to insult the family and not knowing I'm doing it that's why any tips would be great. Like the poster above posted about the feet thing I wouldn't have known to do that.

Look at this from their side...

When everybody in the village sees you, they all know what your GF has been doing in the city. Mom and Dad are exposed as the pimps they are - and your GF as a prostitute (which she most likely was).

There is much more at stake than you think, for both the family and your GF. If you think the visit is just "a simple visit", then you are wrong.

And you should actually be worried about the parents and not your GF. Because the parents have full control over the woman you love and they can have her do anything to satisfy their needs.

Your GF, no matter how much she loves you, will always do what her mom and dad tells her to do. Do not take the visit lightly. Analyze her parents and stay there for more than just a couple of days if possible. Try to get to know them and see if they are mainly interested in your money or their daughters happiness. Because the parents will in the end be the ones, who decide if you get scammed or it ends as a happy relationship/marriage.

just remember, all around the world, stereotypes, are just that, stereotypes

[Skint]

Take some imodium with you there is very chance there is no farang toilet, shiting in the hole takes a fair bit of skill.

[pigeonjake]

i was never a very good shot with my ass,,,lol