Why did you people come here originally?, i came for the women

[seajae]

Please tell , whats a frangipani?

It's a tree. They are very beautiful. We have a few of them.

Have always liked them until someone told me the Thais and Chinese call them the 'flowers of the dead' and are associated with death.

Any truth in that one?

yes there is but they are not associated with death. Originally people grew them here in cemetries because of their beautiful flowers and scent to give the grounds a lift but they then started planting them in their gardens etc and changed the name to leelawadee, now they are considered as one of the great flowers in the world, they have more genes than a human and there are hundreds of colours and scents, I am constantly creating new ones here as well. Hawaii uses them as a greeting(lei's) because of their great scent and colour too.

Edited September 14, 2013 by seajae

[yourauntbob]

Came here as a tourist just to have some fun while doing an around the world trip. Continued down to Singapore for a few days and caught an infection in my foot. On my way back through through Thailand ended up in the hospital and a major surgery on said foot. The doc said stay close as I needed daily checkups. After I was free to continue on I found it difficult to travel on said foot and decided to stay in Thailand for a while and let my foot heal. By the time my foot felt better I had already gotten a part time job teaching English and was enjoying life and my first not so serious relationship. Came to my senses and decided it was time to push on so we broke up and I started to plan my next more. About a week later my sister calls me up telling me she wants to live in Asia for a few months to get a different experience (we were both in our mid twenties at the time). I tell her to come on over and decide to live in Thailand for a while so we can help each other out. She is a "qualified" and quickly gets a decent job at a mid level school. During the interview she drops my name and gets me a job as well. I end up meeting a really nice Thai women around this time who has brought her self up from humble means to a decent sales job. Our relationship progresses and 5+ years later here I am.

Basically, if it wasnt for the little woman then I would not be here nearly as long, but it was not my motivation for coming or staying here.

[bangarang]

I came here for the women, experience, and low cost of living to be in paradise. 2 years ago I bought a 1-way ticket with the plan to freelance across south east asia but got sucked into Phuket. I couldnt imagine living outside Thailand. Now I have wife and kid here.

[umbanda]

Sorry I don't fit your mold. My mid-western upbringing instilled in me the idea that prostitutes are generally dirty pathetic junkies. The idea of sleeping with one was disgusting, flying half way around the world to see them never entered my thought process. I Found86 what I Was looking for. A Safe and peaceful country with friendly people and after 3 years the love of my life even 22 years younger than me to share my expenses and her house and her car because I Am a poor retired. BY the way. SHe is the most beautiful women I Had in my life,and I Am from Brazil.

Edited September 14, 2013 by anugoon

[razorramone]

Entirely motivated by the UK tax system and hedonistic desire.....

Really? I shit myself when I saw the tax here. I was expecting 10%, maybe even 5%, like other generous Asian and south American countries. NOPE, 20%, the same as I would pay in the UK. I cant complain, I know I am very lucky with my salary in Thailand. But god damn, I thought it would be at least a bit less than in the UK.

[jimbobs1]

the OP is utter twaddle, when will people learn that as much as they would like it to be, their experience is not universal.

Its a valid question, i did say not every one has my experience of Thailand, did i not?#

And please dont call me twaddle i find that very inoffensive,,lighten up eh its a valid question

Boy howdy Jim Bob - did you mean "offensive" when someone said "twaddle".

I have done some research, and based on context, I suspect you meant "offensive". I didn't find it offensive on your behalf however.

So it's all OK.

I lived in LOS for 11 years and met my life partner, of 13 years in LOS. Not in a bar it has to be said.

No i meant inoffensive , i find being called twaddle funny, i have heard the saying but never in this context.

[bangarang]

Sometimes I feel like I came out here too young as I just turned 30 and cant rely on Social Security retirement money, still have to work. But something about this country has been great luck for me as I have managed to find wonderful people that have helped me out from the beginning and haven't really had any negative experience. I didn't marry a bargirl, but my first time here I made great friends with a beer bar mamasaan in phuket and didnt ask for anything from me. I have been lucky and blessed to have encountered nice people. After my first visit here it took me 6 months to pack up my stuff in Toronto and buy a 1 way ticket.

One of my favorite things about being a designer is the ability to design from anywhere with an internet connection, air con, and electrical socket.

[jimbobs1]

Sorry I don't fit your mold. My mid-western upbringing instilled in me the idea that prostitutes are generally dirty pathetic junkies. The idea of sleeping with one was disgusting, flying half way around the world to see them never entered my thought process. I Found86 what I Was looking for. A Safe and peaceful country with friendly people and after 3 years the love of my life even 22 years younger than me to share my expenses and her house and her car because I Am a poor retired. BY the way. SHe is the most beautiful women I Had in my life,and I Am from Brazil.

I really dont want to get into a slanging match with you , but your original post was VERY rude

You say you are old and poor, and you have a 22 year age gap between you and your wife, i suspect i hit a nerve because if i see a felang with a lady 22 years his junior , its more a less a given shes not with you for your looks, and you met her in a bar, whether you like it or not thats the general perception in the States, UK and Thailand

I agree that most women of the night are junkies in the western world but we are not in the western world , i had the same attitude as you (tho not as bad) before i came to Thailand

You cannot stereotype people to suit your bigoted mindset, the worlds moved on mate

[Neeranam]

Sorry I don't fit your mold. My mid-western upbringing instilled in me the idea that prostitutes are generally dirty pathetic junkies. The idea of sleeping with one was disgusting, flying half way around the world to see them never entered my thought process. I Found86 what I Was looking for. A Safe and peaceful country with friendly people and after 3 years the love of my life even 22 years younger than me to share my expenses and her house and her car because I Am a poor retired. BY the way. SHe is the most beautiful women I Had in my life,and I Am from Brazil.

I really dont want to get into a slanging match with you , but your original post was VERY rude

You say you are old and poor, and you have a 22 year age gap between you and your wife, i suspect i hit a nerve because if i see a felang with a lady 22 years his junior , its more a less a given shes not with you for your looks, and you met her in a bar, whether you like it or not thats the general perception in the States, UK and Thailand

I agree that most women of the night are junkies in the western world but we are not in the western world , i had the same attitude as you (tho not as bad) before i came to Thailand

You cannot stereotype people to suit your bigoted mindset, the worlds moved on mate

Actually, many 'ladies of the night', as you kindly refer them as, have alcohol and drug problems. I have been involved a rehab for many yearshere so know from experience. None of them actually like what they are doing, who would.

[Sheryl]

Please tell , whats a frangipani?

It's a tree. They are very beautiful. We have a few of them.

Have always liked them until someone told me the Thais and Chinese call them the 'flowers of the dead' and are associated with death.

Any truth in that one?

yes there is but they are not associated with death. Originally people grew them here in cemetries because of their beautiful flowers and scent to give the grounds a lift but they then started planting them in their gardens etc and changed the name to leelawadee, now they are considered as one of the great flowers in the world, they have more genes than a human and there are hundreds of colours and scents, I am constantly creating new ones here as well. Hawaii uses them as a greeting(lei's) because of their great scent and colour too.

Also known as Plumeria.

But I have to disagree that they were not associated with death. In bith Burma and Thailand, until recently, they were found only in wats and were considered unlucky to have anywhere else. I took a lot of flak from Thai friends when I announced bmy intention to have them in my yard in the mid 1990's. (Which I ignored, and now my garden is full of ful grown ones). Nowadays that superstition seems to have vanished, at least in Thailand.

I think the association came from the fact that the flowers stay on the tree for such a short time and all fall off.

[dighambara]

Although I applaud you for your honesty, can,t see this thread lasting very long

But to answer your question, came here originally to work and guess the lady aspect was an added bonus, would I have come to Thailand just on the basis of the ladies, if the money wasn't right on the job, ie accepted less money just because it was Thailand ? Not on your life

I came to investigate retirement options. I had been here before and knew the ladies were friendly, but being nearly 60, the ladies were not high on my list. Friends tried to 'fix me up' and I refused. I stayed away from the ugly bar scene. Then I made the decision to move and began the first steps, when I accidently met a lady with some similar interests. We got along very well and things went on from there - we have two wonderful children, a nice home and are very comfortable..

[Sheryl]

husband is a teacher, I am writing about traditional Thai medicine. I know many people who come here to study Thai bodywork, study Buddhism, or to teach. I've also met westerners who own yoga studies here, herbal product businesses and import/export businesses and happen to love the culture. These are the people I gravitate toward. They are not my community, but I also have met a large number of people who come here as missionaries. There are also a lot of people here working with NGOs and doing charity work. I'm not sure why this forum seems to attract such a narrow slice of ex-pats, but trust me, there is variety here. Hopefully posting here may bring some balance - and let onlookers know that there are many many reasons one might end up in Thailand.

Indeed so, and a careful read of this thread reveals this.

But for some reason the "narrow slice" you refer to are exceptionally vocal on TV and also insist on believing that they represent if not 100% then at least a very large majority of the westerners who come here. i

[Bung]

I came to Phuket to work on a large private yacht. Foreign flagged no work permit needed.

The boat left but I stayed......17 years now but I do leave to work on yachts 2 months on 2 off.

[jimbobs1]

Sorry I don't fit your mold. My mid-western upbringing instilled in me the idea that prostitutes are generally dirty pathetic junkies. The idea of sleeping with one was disgusting, flying half way around the world to see them never entered my thought process. I Found86 what I Was looking for. A Safe and peaceful country with friendly people and after 3 years the love of my life even 22 years younger than me to share my expenses and her house and her car because I Am a poor retired. BY the way. SHe is the most beautiful women I Had in my life,and I Am from Brazil.

I really dont want to get into a slanging match with you , but your original post was VERY rude

You say you are old and poor, and you have a 22 year age gap between you and your wife, i suspect i hit a nerve because if i see a felang with a lady 22 years his junior , its more a less a given shes not with you for your looks, and you met her in a bar, whether you like it or not thats the general perception in the States, UK and Thailand

I agree that most women of the night are junkies in the western world but we are not in the western world , i had the same attitude as you (tho not as bad) before i came to Thailand

You cannot stereotype people to suit your bigoted mindset, the worlds moved on mate

Actually, many 'ladies of the night', as you kindly refer them as, have alcohol and drug problems. I have been involved a rehab for many yearshere so know from experience. None of them actually like what they are doing, who would.

I agree there is that element of drug and alcohol abuse, but its not as endemic as in the western world, most bar girls would sooner i slip them money instead of buying them a drink at the bar.And delight in showing me pictures of their children left in the village with their family.

I also have an indepth knowledge of drug and alcohol abuse as i have a brother and sister that will never recover from their addiction.I also have a brother that died from this scurge. I also have 5 siblings that have no time for it.

So keep up the good work,, REPECT

[Naam]

Entirely motivated by the UK tax system and hedonistic desire.....

Really? I shit myself when I saw the tax here. I was expecting 10%, maybe even 5%, like other generous Asian and south American countries. NOPE, 20%, the same as I would pay in the UK. I cant complain, I know I am very lucky with my salary in Thailand. But god dam_n, I thought it would be at least a bit less than in the UK.

save a bundle, keep your investments offshore, retire and enjoy income tax free Thailand. living tax free in Thailand is the number one incentive for most well off foreign residents (assuming they are not US-citizens).

[NCC1701A]

Cheaper. Freedom. Wild. Chaos. Danger.

[jimbobs1]

My wife says she would like to add her tuppence worth, we have looked at some of the posts with bewilderment , i seem to be the only person that actually married a bar lady,,,,mmmmmm right ha ha

"How they know what their wife do before they meet felang, many people lie" her words not mine

[NCC1701A]

Jimbobs1 I hope you found some happiness with your wife.

I read a UN assessment that at any one time, one million woman in Thailand are engaged in some form of prostitution. If the is true, then there must be millions of ex sex workers now just going about their lives.

[HardenedSoul]

I'd never been here before but good experiences with Thai people back home prompted me to make Thailand the first stop on a round the world trip.

Arrived planning to stay for a month or so.

It was (and still is) seriously cheap compared to my West London origins and, as I'd been introduced to some good Thai folks here, I decided to hang about for a bit.

The women were definitely not a driver behind that decision since I haven't sunk money into, partnered with, married or procreated with a local woman and I doubt I will.

[Darren McKenzie]

My wife says she would like to add her tuppence worth, we have looked at some of the posts with bewilderment , i seem to be the only person that actually married a bar lady,,,,mmmmmm right ha ha

"How they know what their wife do before they meet felang, many people lie" her words not mine

I reckon as many as 50% of farangs marry hookers or ex-hookers.

Some of these "mixed marriages" do work, though.

Edited September 14, 2013 by Darren McKenzie

[jimbobs1]

Jimbobs1 I hope you found some happiness with your wife.

I read a UN assessment that at any one time, one million woman in Thailand are engaged in some form of prostitution. If the is true, then there must be millions of ex sex workers now just going about their lives.

some sense at last

[MJP]

Jimbobs1 I hope you found some happiness with your wife.

I read a UN assessment that at any one time, one million woman in Thailand are engaged in some form of prostitution. If the is true, then there must be millions of ex sex workers now just going about their lives.

some sense at last

It's also their way of finding a foreign man to marry. Okay, it's a little direct and straight to the point way of going about it, bit like speed dating I suppose. No beating about the bush round these 'ere parts!

Edited September 14, 2013 by MJP

[jimbobs1]

My wife says she would like to add her tuppence worth, we have looked at some of the posts with bewilderment , i seem to be the only person that actually married a bar lady,,,,mmmmmm right ha ha

"How they know what their wife do before they meet felang, many people lie" her words not mine

I reckon as many as 50% of farangs marry hookers or ex-hookers.

Some of these "mixed marriages" do work, though.

Ide say it was alot higher,

Its the elephant in the room isnt it, i bet theres a load of people read this post looking cross eyed at their wife now

I personally like the "university educated spouse shout" they probably need the money more when studying

What is the average wage of a university educated lady in Thailand?

Ime really not trying to be disrespectful but the amount of self denial is laughable

[nedkellylives]

I came here originally for a 2 week holiday and loved the climate and genuine Thai people male and female

I have never been interested in bars and bar girls, I would rather go to a restaurant for a meal and drinks

and enjoy good company

After 2 years I met a genuine, honest, trustworthy Thai lady and have now settled here permanently and invested

in everything needed to make life good the same as my home country

[MJP]

My wife says she would like to add her tuppence worth, we have looked at some of the posts with bewilderment , i seem to be the only person that actually married a bar lady,,,,mmmmmm right ha ha

"How they know what their wife do before they meet felang, many people lie" her words not mine

I reckon as many as 50% of farangs marry hookers or ex-hookers.

Some of these "mixed marriages" do work, though.

Ide say it was alot higher,

Its the elephant in the room isnt it, i bet theres a load of people read this post looking cross eyed at their wife now

I personally like the "university educated spouse shout" they probably need the money more when studying

What is the average wage of a university educated lady in Thailand?

Ime really not trying to be disrespectful but the amount of self denial is laughable

After 13 years of being in Thailand (interspersed with periods of reality) the one thing Thailand taught me was just that . . . to live in and accept reality.

Unfortunately it was a rather steep and expensive learning curve but I now exist happily in my cynicism. Like a toddler with a safety blanket.

[jimbobs1]

My wife says she would like to add her tuppence worth, we have looked at some of the posts with bewilderment , i seem to be the only person that actually married a bar lady,,,,mmmmmm right ha ha

"How they know what their wife do before they meet felang, many people lie" her words not mine

I reckon as many as 50% of farangs marry hookers or ex-hookers.

Some of these "mixed marriages" do work, though.

Ide say it was alot higher,

Its the elephant in the room isnt it, i bet theres a load of people read this post looking cross eyed at their wife now

I personally like the "university educated spouse shout" they probably need the money more when studying

What is the average wage of a university educated lady in Thailand?

Ime really not trying to be disrespectful but the amount of self denial is laughable

After 13 years of being in Thailand (interspersed with periods of reality) the one thing Thailand taught me was just that . . . to live in and accept reality.

Unfortunately it was a rather steep and expensive learning curve but I now exist happily in my cynicism. Like a toddler with a safety blanket.

But life is expensive materialistically and emotionally

My life in the uk was very expensive, 3 x greeeeedy wives got the houses, pub, and the whole caboodle.I walked away with nothing

I expect the same here if it goes tits up

[smotherb]

Came here intitially for work, then returned for vacations and visiting friends, then finally to retire. My wife is not Thai, she and I both like it here and have made Thai friends.We have lived in other countries, and Thailand may not be the best in all aspects, but it has a lot going for it--the cost of living, the weather, the food, the culture, the water and the women. However, I have to agree with the OP, I too think most men came to Thailand for the women.

[MCFARLANE]

I retired at 50 after 26 years of University teaching.... Asian Studies, Buddhism and Chinese Religion & Culture.

Like many expats I settled in Thailand after falling in love with a beautiful Thai lady, in my case however she was a two ton 45 year old Thai lady elephant. I came to work as a volunteer at an elephant camp, taking care of old and sick elephants. That was 9 years ago.

I did eventually meet a lovely human Thai lady and we got married. She also loves elephants and all animals. She supplied the unsold fruit as treats for the elephants from her market stall.

We have now acquired dogs and taken care of water buffalo, and most of my writing now relates to Thailand, so no way can I leave.

[MJP]

I retired at 50 after 26 years of University teaching.... Asian Studies, Buddhism and Chinese Religion & Culture.

Like many expats I settled in Thailand after falling in love with a beautiful Thai lady, in my case however she was a two ton 45 year old Thai lady elephant. I came to work as a volunteer at an elephant camp, taking care of old and sick elephants. That was 9 years ago.

I did eventually meet a lovely human Thai lady and we got married. She also loves elephants and all animals. She supplied the unsold fruit as treats for the elephants from her market stall.

We have now acquired dogs and taken care of water buffalo, and most of my writing now relates to Thailand, so no way can I leave.

Shared, common interests in something wholesome and kind.

Lovely post.

[Tim207]

yes there is but they are not associated with death. Originally people grew them here in cemetries because of their beautiful flowers and scent to give the grounds a lift but they then started planting them in their gardens etc and changed the name to leelawadee, now they are considered as one of the great flowers in the world, they have more genes than a human and there are hundreds of colours and scents, I am constantly creating new ones here as well. Hawaii uses them as a greeting(lei's) because of their great scent and colour too.

LOL, I love your passion. I don't get it any more than I get flying around the world to chase prostitutes but to each his own.