whereyoufrom Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Okay I know this will attract scorn and derision but I also know there are some seasoned contributors here who's advice I have found invaluable in the past. She has a good respectable job, I've visited the folks but found the experience polite but lacking warmth or humour. I only see her a few days a week and have never met any of her friends or social circle although every now and again her 'gay male friend' calls up. When he does she usually shoots me a 'oh shit' glance and disappears, its all in Thai so I can't follow it. She's been married to a falang before and says it just fell apart. I know this sounds stupid and I feel stupid asking here but don't want to admit it to friends that I think I might be getting set up to go for a ride. Every time I talk about housing she mentions 30 year leases which makes me want to trust her but I know you can change this with a passport photocopy and a forged signature. She has never asked for any money or anything to be bought for her or her family. I think she was gearing up to ask me to put her father in a new business as his collapsed but I put the stoppers on that conversation right away, not sure if she was really asking anyway. Oh and when I go away her messages are literally 'how are you' very infrequently and she never replies to any questions. She speaks and writes English very well. We get on very well but I just don't feel like I can trust her though I want to. It would be hurtful to finish it now but I worry about the consequences in the future if I let it go on. This is a bashers dream so let it rip but hopefully some of the more experienced and knowledgeable will chip in too as I really do need some advice here. All the best. Where you from? What you do? How long you stay Thailand? You have girlfriend? What you do? Time to get some business cards printed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dr Robert Posted September 18, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted September 18, 2013 I think your own suspicions, which probably crystallised your thoughts as your wrote are worth listening too-what is your gut feel? Act on that gut feel even if it means you need to make the hard decision. There are plenty more of her out there who can make your life less uncertain-letting go is hard but sometimes its the only choice. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om85 Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) If you don't feel like you can trust her, then don't do it, in my expeirences with Thai women and wid women in general, when they are truelly interested in you they don't loose any opportunity of talking wid u, the fact that she never answers to ur sms speaks by itself, my advice: don't hurry up, take what you can but don't hope for much. Edited September 18, 2013 by Om85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 how fast can u run? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Darren McKenzie Posted September 18, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted September 18, 2013 She's been married to a falang before This. Run. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh1 Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 A relationship is built on trust,,,and by the sounds of It,, you don't trust her,, as far as you could throw her.. Run forest run,,, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpofc Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Don't know why for the life of me this should attract scorn or derision, Seems fair enough to me. However if you feel you have to publicly ask this question, and going by the brief description of your relationship, you harbour doubts as to her sincerity. Are you sure you are not just seeking confirmation for already what your gut is telling you. Any decent relationship is built on trust. If you don't have that then it may be time to take steps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overherebc Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Run out the back Jack. Make a new plan Stan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aland2012 Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Is she a ladyboy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilm Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Just buy her the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheSpade Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Married and divorced to a farang already. Check. 'Gay' male friend. Check. Talk about daddies failing business and whether you can help. Check. Too busy to return your messages or show any interest in you when away. Check. Never allowed to meet her friends or social circle (this means she's ashamed of you and doesn't want them to know). Check. She's a keeper! No seriously ditch her. What's her job by the way? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Plenty more fish in the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canman Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You already know the answer and the guys above have confirmed it. As transam says plenty to choose from, why take a chance on someone who isn't even interested enough to keep in touch while you are away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arminbkk Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 OP, just tell her what you two have is "lak sanook" and smile, and then let it rip as you say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 The OP never mentioned if they were even shagging each other. I don't see how the OP's comment "I only see her a few days a week" even gets her into the girlfriend league. As mentioned earlier (and in countless thousands of earlier similar threads), if you need to ask here, you already know the answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You have obviously already made up your mind, now you are just hoping/waiting for everyone else to tell you what you want to hear. Do you want one of us to come with you to Starbucks and hold your hand while you tell her it is not working? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 You have obviously already made up your mind, now you are just hoping/waiting for everyone else to tell you what you want to hear. Do you want one of us to come with you to Starbucks and hold your hand while you tell her it is not working? It's rather amazing that these guys have to have their hand held to make the most basic, personal decisions. Perhaps we should try a different tact: OP, trust this woman. Give her what she wants. Buy her a house and a car. Invest in a business for her. Give her access to your bank account. Never question her about her male friends or brother(s). Never expect a call or text message. If you do everything correctly, you'll end up just like this guy: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/667916-greek-claims-thai-girlfriend-swindled-him-out-of-phuket-property-two-million-baht/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phronesis Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Troll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCC1701A Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) you are in a relationship with someone anywhere in the world and that person can't talk on the phone in front of you? are you a American? you could buy the dad's "failing" business for peanuts and they can all now work for you... and if the relationship goes bad you can fire them all... or do nothing and see what happens... Edited September 18, 2013 by NCC1701A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmccarty Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Will not include you in her social life, secret gay friend. Enuf said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meatboy Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 is she different? not rearly unless you catch her shaving,have you met her brother, is this the first time you have logged into thai-visa forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Never allowed to meet her friends or social circle (this means she's ashamed of you and doesn't want them to know). Check. I always thought this means she thinks her friends might tell you about her husband, or vice versa. Did you check out her facebook page? and photos of you and her together on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jubes Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 At least ask her about everything that's happening, introduce you to her friends, answer your texts etc. Push her into that corner she how she reacts, actions speak louder than words and you'll feel better that you gave her a chance to explain herself after you have given her the flick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchybum Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 'some seasoned contributors here who's advice I have found invaluable in the past.' But you be member since yesterday ? Shame shame... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gsxrnz Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 The most logical theory known to man is "The Duck Theory". And this one looks, sounds, and walks like a duck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkgriz Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 Some of the things you mentioned in your OP remind me of an ex of mine. Nothing good will come of this relationship. Get out while you can. I tried to make it work and got a bit singed. Walk away, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giggles Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 shallow messages indicate other guys are getting duplicates ,no time for in depth conversations. 1 will take the bait if not you. you should put out renting only and see what response you get. if not a troll sounds dangerous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronnybill Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) I have just joined to show you that you can be browsing the forum for years but never join! So just because some one has 10 posts doesn't mean they have not been reading the forums. Edited September 18, 2013 by ronnybill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seajae Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 mate, iof you have to come in here and ask these questions you have already answered yourself. If you had any real feelings for her this wouldnt bother you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackArtemis Posted September 18, 2013 Share Posted September 18, 2013 One simple question, if this is it, if this is how life with her will be. Will you be happy for the rest of your life? "When in doubt, do without" Even if the other person is fantastic or "perfect" if you are not happy, soon both of you will not be happy and it's best to part ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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