Time I got sober!

[Rocking Robert]

Good lord if I had to stop drinking forever I 'll get drunk tomorrow lucky I only have to stop one day at a time. Been doing that for 30 yrs. good luck on your journey

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[Cam Khao]

Well my quest for sobriety has failed miserably! Got the urge to go out Friday and have been binging ever since. Every time I do this I feel very guilty about how much I've let myself down. I know when I go several weeks without a drink I feel mentally and physically better, so god knows why I keep doing this. I just hope after this recent session I can regain my composure and see it through properly.

Maybe it's because of my childhood when my mother was super strict and wouldn't let me go out or have friends around. My father has been sectioned 3 times under the mental health act. It is a worry for me that I have developed or inherited some form of mental illness.

I don't know where to go from here, as I keep making the same mistakes. I don't want to cut out my friends and stop socialising with them just because they are drinkers. I do feel I'm missing out when I don't join them on a night out. Bit I also know what happens next if I do.

I had a very similar problem when I first kicked beer. I didn't want to lose my "friends".

One day, it occurred to me, these "friends" were people I would never associate with back in the UK. I wasn't drinking with them because I genuinely liked them and thought of them as friends, I was drinking with them because they were the only option. So there I am, drinking with a bunch of piss head wasters every day, in the worst kind of bars possible (run by fat ex bar girls, no class, rough as hell), with people that I really had nothing in common with.

I walked out one evening, and have never gone back to those bars since. And you know what? I don't miss those "friends" one bit.

This removed the single largest obstacle for me, that of peer pressure, how do you sit in a bar for several hours, surrounded by other people getting slowly inebriated? The simple answer is you don't. Cut it from your life completely.

[impulse]

Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

[473geo]

Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

" 100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you."

I really think it is time AA disciples removed this smug expression from their repertoire

For one thing all alcoholics out there, especially the functioning alcoholics, are not steeped in the 'misery' you appear to advise they will be returned

There are those with a reasonable life who get a buzz by drinking, but are aware that they may be pushing the boundries toward a problem with alcohol, or they are lucid enough to realise alcohol is encroaching too much into their everyday lives, all alcoholics are not flooded with misery in the gutter!

One of the lures of alcohol is the very fact that it relaxes people for a time and they feel they are having a good time, so telling these people they will be returned to 'misery' is a bit of an empty threat.............corporate style one label for all.....I'm disappointed Mr AA, if that line is the best your disciples have to offer.

[impulse]

Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

" 100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you."

I really think it is time AA disciples removed this smug expression from their repertoire

For one thing all alcoholics out there, especially the functioning alcoholics, are not steeped in the 'misery' you appear to advise they will be returned

There are those with a reasonable life who get a buzz by drinking, but are aware that they may be pushing the boundries toward a problem with alcohol, or they are lucid enough to realise alcohol is encroaching too much into their everyday lives, all alcoholics are not flooded with misery in the gutter!

One of the lures of alcohol is the very fact that it relaxes people for a time and they feel they are having a good time, so telling these people they will be returned to 'misery' is a bit of an empty threat.............corporate style one label for all.....I'm disappointed Mr AA, if that line is the best your disciples have to offer.

I take alcoholism and its devastation of people's lives very seriously. Myself, I don't take too seriously any more. In fact, I have a lot of fun with life and with self deprecating humor.

Here's another one you'll hate: AA doesn't work for people who need to stay sober, just for people who want to stay sober.

The guys you're describing probably don't want it if they're still "getting the buzz" and and "feel they're having a good time". I used to be envious of those folks. Today, I like my life the way it is.

If they're still living the high life, enjoy it. I hope it never turns on them. But if and when it does, and they want to stay sober, there's a seat for them, and a lot of support from people who blazed the trail long before me, and long after me.

[473geo]

Sounds like you need to hear about the AA guaranty.

100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you.

When you want to stay sober more than you need to drink, ring them up. You can wait until they put you 6' under, or you can try it today.

Doesn't cost any money, so there's not much to lose with that iron clad guaranty.

" 100% of your misery will be cheerfully refunded to you if you find it doesn't work for you."

I really think it is time AA disciples removed this smug expression from their repertoire

For one thing all alcoholics out there, especially the functioning alcoholics, are not steeped in the 'misery' you appear to advise they will be returned

There are those with a reasonable life who get a buzz by drinking, but are aware that they may be pushing the boundries toward a problem with alcohol, or they are lucid enough to realise alcohol is encroaching too much into their everyday lives, all alcoholics are not flooded with misery in the gutter!

One of the lures of alcohol is the very fact that it relaxes people for a time and they feel they are having a good time, so telling these people they will be returned to 'misery' is a bit of an empty threat.............corporate style one label for all.....I'm disappointed Mr AA, if that line is the best your disciples have to offer.

I take alcoholism and its devastation of people's lives very seriously. Myself, I don't take too seriously any more. In fact, I have a lot of fun with life and with self deprecating humor.

Here's another one you'll hate: AA doesn't work for people who need to stay sober, just for people who want to stay sober.

The guys you're describing probably don't want it if they're still "getting the buzz" and and "feel they're having a good time". I used to be envious of those folks. Today, I like my life the way it is.

If they're still living the high life, enjoy it. I hope it never turns on them. But if and when it does, and they want to stay sober, there's a seat for them, and a lot of support from people who blazed the trail long before me, and long after me.

Correct - I dislike glib 'catchphrases'

I suggest the only way forward is the individual accept full responsibilty for their lifestyle, no more no less, if sitting with reformed alcoholics throwing out glib catchphrases assists some in this way forward, a type of community spirit, then I am pleased for them, the end justifies the means, but I don't find that approach attractive at all.

I could no more "Cheerfully refund misery" than fail to try and guide "need" into "want".....just a different perception I guess

[bangkok blue]

Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

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[impulse]

Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

Glad you made it to a couple of meetings.

I've met multi-millionaires in AA, and skid row bums. Some of my fondest memories are of convicted felons who had recreated their lives by following the examples set by folks in the rooms. I've met respectable, admirable women that used to do tricks for cheap wine and crack, and they have turned their lives around.

There isn't a canned slogan, jargon, or saying that speaks to such a wide diversity of people.

Some of the slogans used to drive me up a wall, too. I still don't get some of them after 24 years. I have found that the slogans that speak to me, leave some of my best friends cold. So I grab hold of the ones that work for me, and leave an open mind for the ones I don't get- yet.

Best of luck. Keep us posted.

[Rocking Robert]

They say AA works for people who be leave in god and those who do not. But does not work for people who think they're god. So if you do'nt think your god you be OK

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[Lysdexic]

Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

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The book discusses many of the issues raised here. As to hanging out in bars, etc - I was told in a number of ways that there is no place I cannot go and stay sober - as long as my reason for being there is not being around alcohol. I have found that to be true, I have been to bachelor parties, birthday parties, weddings, wakes - all the places where alcohol is prevalent, but alcohol is not the reason I'm there.

I learned through AA that I do have a disease and that it is of two parts: as described by Carl Jung is is an allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. Treating one but not the other rarely succeeds.

Chok dii!!

[Neeranam]

Been to two AA meetings now. Been very uplifting people who have had similar experiences as me with drink. I feel more positive having taken this step. I'm still unsure about the spiritualism aspect, but willing to give it a go. It's gotta be better than the last 6 day binge session I just had that's for sure.

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut. I hope after a while I will have the strength to still socialise with my current friends. They are not just drinking buddies. I do many other activities with them like play football, dinner parties, trekking, badminton etc... Which don't involve drink. I've met members of many of their families. Just because they choose to continue drinking doesn't mean I will cut them out from my life. Don't get me wrong should I choose to join a friend's birthday party / leaving party or wedding etc.... The offer of temptation will be there. With these meetings I hope to achieve knowledge into how to be grateful for what I have, one if which will be not waking up with a hangover, which have become incredibly depressing recently.. Another is extra strength to work on my personal development and career. This will keep me out the pub.

I will not allow this issue to turn me into a hermit. But use the experience I have had to still socialise knowing that providing I stay that right side of the line in tempting situations I'll get far more reward after the event knowing the next day / the days after aren't a write off of despair and self pity, but more of a learning curve in the direction of a more successful life.

I will continue to write my experiences along this path. I thank you all for every message that everyone has posted. Especially those who have written to me privately.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

The book discusses many of the issues raised here. As to hanging out in bars, etc - I was told in a number of ways that there is no place I cannot go and stay sober - as long as my reason for being there is not being around alcohol. I have found that to be true, I have been to bachelor parties, birthday parties, weddings, wakes - all the places where alcohol is prevalent, but alcohol is not the reason I'm there.

I learned through AA that I do have a disease and that it is of two parts: as described by Carl Jung is is an allergy of the body coupled with an obsession of the mind. Treating one but not the other rarely succeeds.

Chok dii!!

Wasn't it Dr. Silkworth who said first said it was a allergy - Step 1 .

Carl Jung was responsible for Step 2. Interesting that no alcoholic wrote the steps. I think the Oxford group wrote the rest or most of them anyway.

[gerryBScot]

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut.

Delighted to hear you have a mainly positive experience in the rooms so far. At the risk of sounding as if I am teaching my granny how to suck eggs, I don't think this saying means you should never go into a bar or wet place again. It means you shouldn't hang out in them. The advice I got was if I have a good reason to be in a wet place, then go - like to meet friends. However if you are making the pub your prime social outlet then you significantly increase your chances of drinking again; plenty of alternatives to bars for socialising - you'll probably start drinking a lot more coffee! I would advise you to avoid other people's piss ups as they might inadvertently become your next relapse. I go out to events and functions in bars and hotels and never been bothered about the drinking. In fact the first wedding I went to sober, I realised that there was no one at it who was hammered in the way I would have been had I been drinking! Keep well and strong.

[bangkok blue]

I dislike some phrases, such as if you sit in a barber's chair long enough you'll get a haircut.

Delighted to hear you have a mainly positive experience in the rooms so far. At the risk of sounding as if I am teaching my granny how to suck eggs, I don't think this saying means you should never go into a bar or wet place again. It means you shouldn't hang out in them. The advice I got was if I have a good reason to be in a wet place, then go - like to meet friends. However if you are making the pub your prime social outlet then you significantly increase your chances of drinking again; plenty of alternatives to bars for socialising - you'll probably start drinking a lot more coffee! I would advise you to avoid other people's piss ups as they might inadvertently become your next relapse. I go out to events and functions in bars and hotels and never been bothered about the drinking. In fact the first wedding I went to sober, I realised that there was no one at it who was hammered in the way I would have been had I been drinking! Keep well and strong.

Many thanks for your advice. Good point.

I feel loads better at the moment. Nearly 3 weeks sober. I am anxious about upcoming events I have to attend. Close friends I hope will understand I'm doing this to be a better person and won't shun me.

There is a religious aspect to AA, which i dont like. Although the sharing of similar experiences I've had makes me realise I'm doing the right thing.

Good luck to the rest of you on the same journey.

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[gerryBScot]

I'm happy for you BB. Don't bother too much about close friends and their thoughts. Real friends will be happy for you. Just try to be open minded about the religious angle - I found calling it spiritual helped as religious did and does my head in!

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[bangkok blue]

Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

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[GrahamF]

Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

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When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

[bangkok blue]

Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

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When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

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[Neeranam]

Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

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When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

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I went to AA meetings in Bangkok and never got a sponsor, never really talked to anyone and never shared. Just sat in the back and thought that the fact that I was at a meeting would take the craving to drink away. I was puzzled when I bought a can of Singh in a shop on wireless road. That led to another binge or 3 and then I was ready to try again but this time I was willing to go to any lengths to get sober. I was dying. I would have gone to jail for 10 years if it was the only way and told my sponsor this. It was very hard for me to ask someone to be my sponsor but it was necessary as I couldn't do the steps myself. I was rebellious and deliberately didn't do the 90 meeting in 90 day suggestion. AS it turned out, it was much easier than going to jail for 10 years.

I am thankful that I had it so bad that I was, and still am, willing to do anything.

I have known many that chose not to go to any length and are still drunk or dead. It's not an easy choice for some - die an alcoholic death or adopt some spiritual principles.

[Sheryl]

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

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Remember that you are free to interpret the spiritual references in your own way. Some people do opt to do so through a conventional "religious" lens but it is in no way necessary to. It will require some inner interpretation when the term "God" is used, you just have to mentally equate this to what works for you, be it Nature or the Universe or whatever.

It's not important what you envision/understand a Higher Power to be, what is important is that you understand what it is not...i.e. that you and your self will are not the highest power there is, and not sufficient to get you through this. Which chances are your own experience has already proved to you or you wouldn't ever have walked into a meeting or be on this board in the first place.

I find that people who have had negative experiences with religion usually encountered a fairly rigid version of it and, ironically, then tend to rigidly insist that this is the only type of spirituality possible. It isn't.

[impulse]

Whenever you see a reference to "God", think "Group Of Drunks". Let them be your "Higher Power" until you get past the spiritual hurdle. Works for a lot of people.

I've been told by Catholic priests and Methodist ministers that He won't mind. Don't know any Rabbis to ask, 'cause I don't run into a lot of them in AA meetings.

My first sponsor told me to write up a list of things I like about God on one page, and the things I fear about God on another. He offered me a lighter and we burned the second page.

It's "God, as we understand him", which is NOT the God I grew up with as taught by the nuns. Don't worry if it gives you the heebie-jeebies the first few hundred times you hear a reference to God.

In fact, tell someone how uncomfortable you are with the God thing, and talk it out over a coffee at a meeting after the meeting. That's where I've always gotten my best guidance.

[northernjohn]

All too easy to way over do it living in Thailand.

Just had a very sober weekend for the first time in a while and already feeling better for it. I will be aiming to keep it up.

Everyone's different but the people i've known who have been to AA have ended up turning a mild problem into a personal crisis. No substitute for self discipline and finding an enjoyable alternative to drinking, in my opinion.

I have seen people with just a mild problem join AA and turn it into a personal problem because they were sober and able to see it for what it had really been.

That is a fact that I have witnessed and heard people who had gone through it admit it was a lot worse than they had thought and they had found a whole new way of living happy joyous and free.

I have seen some do it by them selves and I have seen some do it with religion. What ever works for you. But just remember just not drinking can get boring and unless you have managed to change your way of thinking you stand a good chance to pick up that fatal first drink again.

I would like to mention that at first it will be tough and then you will find it easier. The time frame for every one is different. The trick is to learn to enjoy life after the initial good time passes.

To all who try I wish you success and happiness.

[tominbkk]

"I also think you are being irresponsible in glibly dismissing AA as "susbtituting one addiction for another" and being based on a concept of being"a hopeless sinner". I have never heard any of these concepts in any meetings I have attended on four continents over the last ten years. If AA was based on being a "hopeless sinner" it would have crashed decades ago. Sober alcoholics as a general rule don't want sinfulness and conventional religion even though many of us, myself included, find ways to re-connect with religion as we get sober."

My view, which is my view, and you are entitled to yours, is that people get addicted to meetings. I agree that it is better than drinking. And the dire warnings that if one doesn't continue going to meetings, they will surely slip back into drink. There is a group think element to AA, and one doesn't like to risk bringing up topics that go against the canon of AA. The twelve steps include at least two religious elements: 1. I am powerless 2. I give myself over to a higher power. Which, by extension, means you are lower, right? Christianity hasn't crashed, so why should AA? AA is like a crutch, and crutches are fine if you have a broken leg. But when the leg heals, give up the crutch. But the idea that a person will be an alcoholic always (and of course spread the word, another religious facet, come to think of it) is a bit of a stretch. AA also has no better success rate than any other recovery plan. Drinking too much is a behavior, not a disease (people don't wake up and say "I think I'll have cancer today" but they do the behavior of picking up the drink), so deal with the behavior and remove the label "alcoholic", which seems a permanent identification. The only label that fits humans is "human" or some other physical characteristic. Beyond that is behavior, which is influenced by belief systems, such as the one promoted by AA. I suggest that if you want to be free of drinking, do it in a manner that respects your individual dignity and ability to make choices and follow up on that. It is harder in that you would have to take responsibility for your life and choices, but there is an element of freedom that is worth the effort. If you want to stop a behavior, stop the behavior. And yes, I have been to meetings.

A great resource is soberrecovery.com. Really supportive forums, for both AA based and secular based minded people.

[tominbkk]

As a recovering Alcholic myself, I am glad to hear you took the first step, there is 12 steps to this program and its one step at a time. After 28 years of being sober I have to remind myself often that I am only one drink away for being drunk. That and with the help of my higher power, I will be sober the rest of my life. Its all about the first drink. Like you, I could not quit after the first drink. Good luck to you and if I can help in any way please let me know. As this is part of the 12th step. Please go to an AA meeting, find a sponser and work the steps. You will be surprised in no time. It just keeps getting better.

Or if you would prefer a less religious approach to abstinence, you can try Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery.

[tominbkk]

I don't know where to go from here, as I keep making the same mistakes. I don't want to cut out my friends and stop socialising with them just because they are drinkers. I do feel I'm missing out when I don't join them on a night out. Bit I also know what happens next if I do.

You have a choice to make there. Sobriety (which will most likely not include your present recreational lifestyle and friends), or continue on with drinking.

[tominbkk]

Failed again... Where next, I don't know!

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When you were going to AA, how often did you go to meetings and did you get a sponsor and start working the steps or did you just go to meetings?

just went to the meetings. Never got a sponsor or worked the steps. I got annoyed with religious references. I know I have a problem. But don't know how to tackle it.

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The couple meetings I went to long ago had everyone chanting The Lord's Prayer at the end. Not particularly attractive to an atheist such as myself. Rational Recovery and Smart Recovery resonated much stronger to me. Also, Allen Carr's book "Easy Way to Control Alcohol" is great.

Good luck anyway!

[impulse]

As a recovering Alcholic myself, I am glad to hear you took the first step, there is 12 steps to this program and its one step at a time. After 28 years of being sober I have to remind myself often that I am only one drink away for being drunk. That and with the help of my higher power, I will be sober the rest of my life. Its all about the first drink. Like you, I could not quit after the first drink. Good luck to you and if I can help in any way please let me know. As this is part of the 12th step. Please go to an AA meeting, find a sponser and work the steps. You will be surprised in no time. It just keeps getting better.

Or if you would prefer a less religious approach to abstinence, you can try Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery.

Where do they meet in Thailand?

[tominbkk]

As a recovering Alcholic myself, I am glad to hear you took the first step, there is 12 steps to this program and its one step at a time. After 28 years of being sober I have to remind myself often that I am only one drink away for being drunk. That and with the help of my higher power, I will be sober the rest of my life. Its all about the first drink. Like you, I could not quit after the first drink. Good luck to you and if I can help in any way please let me know. As this is part of the 12th step. Please go to an AA meeting, find a sponser and work the steps. You will be surprised in no time. It just keeps getting better.

Or if you would prefer a less religious approach to abstinence, you can try Rational Recovery or Smart Recovery.

Where do they meet in Thailand?

No in person meetings required! There are online forums and daily online meetings as well.

[cnx37]

Congratulations! Firstly, you recognize that you have a problem. AS you know, it will not get better if you continue on this path. Yes, AA is a spiritual program. But, you choose a God of "your understanding" - it can be the group, a dollar bill - up to you. There are contacts in AA - see websites. Have a chat & make up your own mind. You have an opportunity at a new life, new friends. Becoming a member of AA does not make you a wowser! AA is not perfect - just like the rest of the world. I have no qualifications regarding any other avenues to attain sobriety - they may well work! Many follow the AA philosophy anyway. There are some crackpots in AA - we just do our best! I do know that the AA literature suggests that many of us try the easier, softer way - it does not work, There are no fees - contributions are voluntary. See the websites for a detailed description. Going it alone would be a huge challenge! Whichever route you choose, I wish you the best!

[tominbkk]

Congratulations! Firstly, you recognize that you have a problem. AS you know, it will not get better if you continue on this path. Yes, AA is a spiritual program. But, you choose a God of "your understanding" - it can be the group, a dollar bill - up to you. There are contacts in AA - see websites. Have a chat & make up your own mind. You have an opportunity at a new life, new friends. Becoming a member of AA does not make you a wowser! AA is not perfect - just like the rest of the world. I have no qualifications regarding any other avenues to attain sobriety - they may well work! Many follow the AA philosophy anyway. There are some crackpots in AA - we just do our best! I do know that the AA literature suggests that many of us try the easier, softer way - it does not work, There are no fees - contributions are voluntary. See the websites for a detailed description. Going it alone would be a huge challenge! Whichever route you choose, I wish you the best!

As well understand there are other options besides AA available. Look at my post above.

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[cnx37]

bangkok blue

How is it going? There are many players in this post. Maybe they have a sincere interest in your welfare - they have been down the same road as you - they have experienced the same pain.

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As "tominbkk" says,, you have choices! On the booze, the choices are removed.

I only know about AA. If you don't like hearing the Lord's Prayer or religious references, join the club My first meeting was in a church hall. Go to a meeting where you feel comfortable.

But, hang in there. It is worthwhile! Beats the hell out of drinking yourself to death or mental institutions or both - too painful for me. From my experience, when you drink you are going only one way - DOWN! It is called the "Yets". When you hear some of the stories, it is easier to deny but it is YET to happen if you continue along the drinking road. I went from beer to rum, sherry & cask wine - no meth spirits & boot polish. When you drink like we did, the grog is the great remover - it takes away everything including your self-esteem - you gain self hatred. For us, there is no valid reason to pick up a drink - it never solved a problem - it created some! I found it very difficult to identify - I had tertiary education , my own practice, a nice residence, money, car etc - but that means little when you are a drunk (in fact, I think that it made it more difficult for me.).

As has been said before, you have admitted that you have a problem, you are powerless over alcohol, your life is unmanageable. How many times do you have to prove this to yourself? You are 50% there just by admitting that you have a problem. It took me a while in AA to accept that I had a problem. I was stubborn, defiant - I did not wish to listen! I did not do 90 meetings in 90 days. I understand the logic - saturation & if you are at a meeting you are not at the pub. I did not get a sponsor for many years & then that did not last long. But, I attended meetings at least 3 times per week, read the literature (more than once - it was just like going to a meeting.) That really helped. I did not feel alone - being alcoholic was not my fault. Most of us have low self-esteem. There are no rules in AA for that matter - only suggestions). In fact, After many years, I now do have a quality relationship - thanks to the fellowship & a Thai woman.

But you must be ready to go to any length to get it. I attended church for a period, "prayed" on bended knees for a period. Get involved when you can - take a chance! But be nice to yourself. It can be putting out the chairs, making the coffee, chatting with others etc - I felt as though I was very alone in AA until I got in the middle.

When you are sober you can better deal with life's problems - you are not exempted from them. There are many bonuses too. One that instantly comes to mind is - no more humiliation.

Enough preaching!

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SUGGESTION - JUST DO IT - AA OR OTHER (WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE)!