Age Differences

[bina]

so far, those that have replied have been Men with younger women; that is more exceptable in our western societies... but rare to see an older woman (who looks older) with a younger man... w/o someone thinking : gigilo....

i also look fairly young for my age, but do not use makeup or colour my hair, and when tired, definately look my age (i look like my mother for god sakes!!!!).... i ask anon alot about this, including the probable side affect of age: not getting pregnant, or miscarrying, or etc etc....i will have health problems earlier than him, i get tired out faster, libido changes a bit, etc etc; i dont dress as an old lady but not as a teenager also (although i do wear some of daughter's clothes and vice versa)

his answer is always always the same.... grey hair doesnt matter, its the heart that counts... we can always sponser a child from his family, etc etc.... his thai friends dont seem to notice my age either, and he wants to be with me until we both have grey hair and can walk hand in hand like all the old couples we see here (some on the kibbutz, over 70+ taking night walks hand in hand)....

my kids dont care since i've never discussed age with them as something that matters; my parents dont care (apart from the pregnancy issue as a health issue) and my friends dont care....

of course, i am not surrounded by nubile young thai women of marriagable age able to give birth, whereas in thailand we would be, but am convinced that my partner couldnt care less; he is happy with what he has....in truth, he had been considering going back in to monkhood again when returing to thailand until he met me, being tired of 'not serious women, narrow minded village girls...' (his words, he's a village boy)

BUT there is a difference between 19 yr old and 34 yr old among men; my partner is 34 and i am 43.... i think i wouldnt have patience for a 19 yr old.....

and i definately woudnt change my own looks or habits to mask my age unless i do it for myself, never for my partner....

[Jamie]

One of my ex girl friends is 10 years older than me. It was never a big deal for me or for her. Others have been closer to my age. The biggest difference going the other way, was 6 years. She was 23, I was 29.

[sbk]

Bina, a nubile young Thai woman is not exotic to a Thai man like it is for a western guy.

My husband has told me that if we were to split up or if something were to happen to me he would not get a Thai wife, he has learned to deal with things in a western way (most of the time) and prefers the forwardness he gets from me.

That said, I don't think it is as important to women to have a young man to show off their own sexual prowess as it does seem to be with many men.

[Sir Burr]

It's in the male genes.

Younger women make better breeding stock.

[chuchok]

It's in the male genes.

Younger women make better breeding stock.

Oh how true that is.There are exceptions of course, but when you see a very happily married man take a not too subtle glance at a pretty young thing, his body is really saying "Young breeding stock"..hmmmmmm

[LindsayBKK]

My 1st Thai bf was 35 and I was 18 (lasted 18yrs)

My 2nd Thai bf is 37 & now I'm 41 ( now going on 6yrs)

Same age. We have never been happier. We never runout of things to talk about.

My ex treated me like a son

[LindsayBKK]

It's in the male genes.

Younger women make better breeding stock.

Oh how true that is.There are exceptions of course, but when you see a very happily married man take a not too subtle glance at a pretty young thing, his body is really saying "Young breeding stock"..hmmmmmm

Well you should know about young Lamb shouldn't you Chuckok?

[chuchok]

It's in the male genes.

Younger women make better breeding stock.

Oh how true that is.There are exceptions of course, but when you see a very happily married man take a not too subtle glance at a pretty young thing, his body is really saying "Young breeding stock"..hmmmmmm

Well you should know about young Lamb shouldn't you Chuckok?

I said Hmmmmm not Baaaaaaaaa!

[Donz]

I love older females and younger ones, the oldest i would go is probaly 40 but prefer mid 30 or less, the youngest probaly 20.

[topfield]

Did you read that article in the Bangkok Post (front page) two years ago about the 92 year old man...filthy rich , the owner of Tipco, (the asphalt co and not the fruit juice co) ?

He had reported his 18 year old wife to the police for theft .

Reason ; She had stolen/discarded his supply of Viagra tablets.

[True story...you can probably find it in the Bangkok Post archives if you look under Viagra.]

[LaoPo]

Did you read that article in the Bangkok Post (front page) two years ago about the 92 year old man...filthy rich , the owner of Tipco, (the asphalt co and not the fruit juice co) ?

He had reported his 18 year old wife to the police for theft .

Reason ; She had stolen/discarded his supply of Viagra tablets.

[True story...you can probably find it in the Bangkok Post archives if you look under Viagra.]

Terrible girl to do such a thing to a nice, kind and mature husband

I hope he divorced and left her with nothing...

Now, was she stupid or what?

LaoPo

[Dragonmode]

Did you read that article in the Bangkok Post (front page) two years ago about the 92 year old man...filthy rich , the owner of Tipco, (the asphalt co and not the fruit juice co) ?

He had reported his 18 year old wife to the police for theft .

Reason ; She had stolen/discarded his supply of Viagra tablets.

[True story...you can probably find it in the Bangkok Post archives if you look under Viagra.]

[Sheryl]

Did you read that article in the Bangkok Post (front page) two years ago about the 92 year old man...filthy rich , the owner of Tipco, (the asphalt co and not the fruit juice co) ?

He had reported his 18 year old wife to the police for theft .

Reason ; She had stolen/discarded his supply of Viagra tablets.

[True story...you can probably find it in the Bangkok Post archives if you look under Viagra.]

Can't blame her!!!

No 18 year old (or 20, 30, 40 year old for that matter....) finds a man in his 90's sexually appealing -- to understate the matter considerably. Overlooking age differences is fine up to a point but not when it's of such magnitude that the partner could be your GREAT grandfather.... Yick!

And you guys with the "we're genetically programmed" and "better breeding stock" line --- yes, younger women are more fecund. And younger men are better able to do what is required to fertilize -- in terms of funcioning more reliably, more often. But that fact does not cause most women to reject men their own age for younger ones. Why? It's not that we are unaware of the virility of the young. It is that we balance that consideration with other traits such as emotional maturity, and most often, unless the guy is unusually mature for his age, lacks in this area outweigh the purely physical attributes.

If women can look beyond reproductive programming, so can men.

Of course, many of the men who insist on being with much younger women have the emotional maturity of a small child...so in fact it may not be such a mis-match after all.

[gisele]

I was watching the program CSI the other day, can't say for sure if it is a recent one or not. This episode had a guy shot in an elevator, he was dating a really really young girl.

What struck me was the reaction of the CSI when the father of the young girl introduces them to his wife, who was about as old as his daughter.

It was just funny.

However, IMHO, I think if it works then who cares what anybody says.

[somchai jones]

I think that age difference depends on the individual and if you're happy in a relationship with a large age gap - go for it. Though in my one relationship of that ilk, there wasn't much substance to it, but it was bloody good fun for a while!

When I was 18 I spent 6 months with a 33 year old English lady in London. She was recently divorced and had formed a liking for younger guys.

The sex was absolutely awesome from the start of the relationship until the end of the relationship; a real learning curve for me! Also, being driven around in a convertable before I'd even passed my own driving test was a real buzz.

However, after the initial couple of months when it didn't seem to matter that all we had in common was a physical desire for each other, the fact that we shared little apart from this became more and more apparent and the relationship soon fizzled out to the extent that we were no longer partners but if we met in a club we'd leave together.

Now 39 and married to a 36 year old Malaysian.

Being SE Asian though, although she's only 3 years younger than me, she looks about 10 years younger!

Oh well......funny old world.

Edited May 17, 2006 by somchai jones

[yarpy]

Venturing nervously in to the Laddies section...

I find the problems that arise with Thai/Falang relationships are more to do with education levels than age.

I had an excellent relationship with a 22 year old university student until she had to go off and marry the bloke her family wanted her to (her views on George Soros were unprintable) but have had great difficulty trying to have relationships with women aged 40 (same age as me) who are barely literate and read only those comic books if anything at all and seem to be addicted to Hello Kitty.

You can only do the horizontal mambo for so long and at some time your brain needs stimulating so for me when talking about a possible Thai/Falang relationship the question is wrongly framed.

[Sir Burr]

And you guys with the "we're genetically programmed" and "better breeding stock" line --- yes, younger women are more fecund. And younger men are better able to do what is required to fertilize -- in terms of funcioning more reliably, more often. But that fact does not cause most women to reject men their own age for younger ones. Why? It's not that we are unaware of the virility of the young. It is that we balance that consideration with other traits such as emotional maturity, and most often, unless the guy is unusually mature for his age, lacks in this area outweigh the purely physical attributes.

If women can look beyond reproductive programming, so can men.

Of course, many of the men who insist on being with much younger women have the emotional maturity of a small child...so in fact it may not be such a mis-match after all.

You make the mistake of thinking that a women's genes program her the same way as mens. ie. fecundity.

Women are programmed to choose mates that will provide security and stick around to provide for both mother and child.

Women obey their genes (like any of us has a choice). That's why a pretty male face is not the over-riding concern for women, just a bonus.

[ourmanflint]

someone may have already mentioned this old adage....

"half your age plus 7 years"

it was mentioned to me today, and I can't think why!! But I do think it's a pretty good yardstick.

[Boo]

You make the mistake of thinking that a women's genes program her the same way as mens. ie. fecundity.

Women are programmed to choose mates that will provide security and stick around to provide for both mother and child.

Women obey their genes (like any of us has a choice). That's why a pretty male face is not the over-riding concern for women, just a bonus.

Errr, wrong

[Fast Eddie]

And you guys with the "we're genetically programmed" and "better breeding stock" line --- yes, younger women are more fecund. And younger men are better able to do what is required to fertilize -- in terms of funcioning more reliably, more often. But that fact does not cause most women to reject men their own age for younger ones. Why? It's not that we are unaware of the virility of the young. It is that we balance that consideration with other traits such as emotional maturity, and most often, unless the guy is unusually mature for his age, lacks in this area outweigh the purely physical attributes.

If women can look beyond reproductive programming, so can men.

Of course, many of the men who insist on being with much younger women have the emotional maturity of a small child...so in fact it may not be such a mis-match after all.

You make the mistake of thinking that a women's genes program her the same way as mens. ie. fecundity.

Women are programmed to choose mates that will provide security and stick around to provide for both mother and child.

Women obey their genes (like any of us has a choice). That's why a pretty male face is not the over-riding concern for women, just a bonus.

Sir Burr, unfortunately you are pissing in the wind.

You will doubtless soon hear about how genetic predisposition is completely unaccountable for any of the differing facets of male and female sexual behaviour.

Welcome to the ladies forum.

And for Sheryl....get a grip on reality. Of course there are plenty of more mature women who find younger men attractive, but their task is ultimately considerably more difficult than their male counterparts because of the fundamental biological restrictions they encounter at an earlier age. Most men desire to reproduce and as women age beyond their age of menopause there are many signals that make them increasingly less of an acceptable proposition, both visible and non-visible.

Yes, men are genetically programmed to aim at women of reproductive age. This is all common sense stuff, right???? We certainly wouldn't have got far without it. And yes, men can carry on reproducing a lot longer than women and retain those drives a lot longer. It's all hormonally controlled.

Also for Sheryl.... your misandristic beliefs, that shine through in your posts again and again, are not healthy for you. You really need to learn that our behaviour is not all determined in our mind as a conscious process, and women are no more superior in their ability to reason than men are, contrary to your belief.

I was on the verge of really saying what i think about your insinuations about men in your posting history, but i will refrain because i am a gentleman and it would get me a lengthy ban.

[Ausladyinpatong]

someone may have already mentioned this old adage....

"half your age plus 7 years"

it was mentioned to me today, and I can't think why!! But I do think it's a pretty good yardstick.

Please don't everyone take this too seriously but, just for fun, I halved my fathers age (he is 59 so I got 29.5) and added 7 years (36.5).

I'm sorry to say that that's just weird to me. I turn 30 this year myself...I'm sure I'd feel differently if it wasn't my Dad...but ...

Seriously though, I think people should do whatever makes them happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

[Sir Burr]

No, I don't think I am pissing in the wind.

In the animal kingdom, females choose a mate that is the fittest to provide for mother and children. That is the best evolutionary strategy for any female.

I agree that humans do have "free will" and can go against instinct.

But, look at the real world. Men of influence, power and wealth invariably can attract wives that without these attributes, they wouldn't be able to attract. The reason for the woman, on the whole, must be because they can provide security. This is certainly the case with many, many farang male/Thai female couples.

An interesting study was done in the nineties. A number of men of varying looks were photographed. From male models to geeks. They were then graded on their looks by a panel of women. Predictably, the male models came out top and the geeks were last.

They then dressed up the geeks in power suits and the male models in McDonalds uniforms and had another panel of women grade them. The results changed. The geeks went up and the models went down in relation to the results of the first panel of women.

If you think I am wrong, please explain why.

Edited May 18, 2006 by Sir Burr

[sbk]

Sir Burr, are you basically saying that alot of men do their thinking with their little head and not their big head? No surprise there. What is nice to see is when a man can be intelligent, mature and self aware enough to overcome their hormones and "instincts".

[soic]

sbk - I can! I can! I'm working here in Iraq... I don't get to use the little one for anything other than normal bodily waste removal right now. I don't get to follow my reproductive instincts either. There are a limited availability of partners here. They're pretty much "HIGH Mileage" if you know what I mean...

Clear and rational thinking isn't what's it's cracked up to be. I'm ready for several beers and some irrational behavior soon. I'll be going to home again in June... the little guy will rule the day and my wife is fixed.... HEAVEN!!!!!

[kat]

....Welcome to the ladies forum.

...Yes, men are genetically programmed to aim at women of reproductive age. This is all common sense stuff, right???? We certainly wouldn't have got far without it. And yes, men can carry on reproducing a lot longer than women and retain those drives a lot longer. It's all hormonally controlled.

Oh yes, and welcome to Thaivisa Forum, where the majority of men are still arguing that the best models for women can be found in the animal kingdom.

No, I don't think I am pissing in the wind.

In the animal kingdom, females choose a mate that is the fittest to provide for mother and children. That is the best evolutionary strategy for any female.

I agree that humans do have "free will" and can go against instinct.

But, look at the real world. Men of influence, power and wealth invariably can attract wives that without these attributes, they wouldn't be able to attract. The reason for the woman, on the whole, must be because they can provide security. This is certainly the case with many, many farang male/Thai female couples.

An interesting study was done in the nineties. A number of men of varying looks were photographed. From male models to geeks. They were then graded on their looks by a panel of women. Predictably, the male models came out top and the geeks were last.

They then dressed up the geeks in power suits and the male models in McDonalds uniforms and had another panel of women grade them. The results changed. The geeks went up and the models went down in relation to the results of the first panel of women.

If you think I am wrong, please explain why.

In the animal kingdom, females have little choice because it is a raw form of survival of the fittest. And you are using a broad sweep for the animal kingdom. There are in fact exceptions to the rule even there, and there are species that mate for life. Also, in many cases, males simply impregnate and leave, so that the female does have to fend for herself and offspring.

I think many women still seek out an alpha male, but that meaning has changed according to her own needs, and is not dictated by economic choices - that is, for women who have choices. And I think that's the key, biological determinism is more important in societies where biology is the only factor. And of course, for men who benefit from it.

I think the survey you mention is rather limiting. What would have happened if one of the choices was also of a bad-boy motorcycle guy, or brooding artistic type? I'll tell you - a different conclusion.

Sir Burr, are you basically saying that alot of men do their thinking with their little head and not their big head? No surprise there. What is nice to see is when a man can be intelligent, mature and self aware enough to overcome their hormones and "instincts".

I think he takes it further. He seems to be saying that women think primarily with their wallets, or lack thereof.

[bina]

if someone wants to go the animal route:

emus: the father broods, and takes care of the chicks, he is smaller then the female, and NICER too! whereas the females, well...

surrikats (meerkats): one female two males needed in order to reproduce : female and male dominant mate, second male, guards, babysits, 'gophers' for the other two.....hows that for life?????

geez men get upset real quick when discussing themselves dont they????.... i like my men in a salong with furry house slippers on doing the dishes (i have my bf's pic but cant upload for somereason, sent ot my mom so she could see domestic bliss) and as he once put it, he is 100% 'pu chai" (he's also younger and smaller then me and i'm short too, )

Edited May 18, 2006 by bina

[ourmanflint]

I think he takes it further. He seems to be saying that women think primarily with their wallets, or lack thereof.

Not quite, but you're getting there. All women, 100% of the female population that is, are pre-programmed, as Sir Burr says to go for the man who can "provide" the best possible situation to bring up her offspring. Now, as we all know that doesn't always happen, we fall in love, we compromise, we find ourselves attracted to all sorts of different people, but the fact remains that whomever you choose, there is both a conscious decision and much more importantly a sub conscious decision, this is the pre programmed genetic breeding part that all of us have, especially so women!! Without it the human species would be where it is today. I suspect that dependant on your upbringing the programming has a more or less marked effect, and of course many women can and do overcome that "programming".... of course!! , but it is always there, ready to ambush you when you least expect it. ( that's why you go for the wrong types.... continually- ring any bells ladies)

So women don't really think with their wallets, they leave that to their unfertilised eggs! Ergo: when it comes to men they don't really think at all!!!

[Ausladyinpatong]

I think he takes it further. He seems to be saying that women think primarily with their wallets, or lack thereof.

Not quite, but you're getting there. All women, 100% of the female population that is, are pre-programmed, as Sir Burr says to go for the man who can "provide" the best possible situation to bring up her offspring. Now, as we all know that doesn't always happen, we fall in love, we compromise, we find ourselves attracted to all sorts of different people, but the fact remains that whomever you choose, there is both a conscious decision and much more importantly a sub conscious decision, this is the pre programmed genetic breeding part that all of us have, especially so women!! Without it the human species would be where it is today. I suspect that dependant on your upbringing the programming has a more or less marked effect, and of course many women can and do overcome that "programming".... of course!! , but it is always there, ready to ambush you when you least expect it. ( that's why you go for the wrong types.... continually- ring any bells ladies)

So women don't really think with their wallets, they leave that to their unfertilised eggs! Ergo: when it comes to men they don't really think at all!!!

[Ausladyinpatong]

So women don't really think with their wallets, they leave that to their unfertilised eggs! Ergo: when it comes to men they don't really think at all!!!

Agreed. I don't want a younger man who still wants to party and I don't want an older man who's already been there and done that...If having children doesn't interest you that's a different story but if it does...I guess you gravitate toward someone who can help you fulfill those ambitions.

(Sorry for my last post got rudely interrupted by my boss who actually wanted me to do some work which didn't include reading posts on TV . Must have hit "add reply" instead of "panic" when he walked into my office )

[OlRedEyes]

I am so happy!

I stayed away from this thread until now. And now I'll leave, and won't come back....

I'm learning, albeit slowly...