Monkey Mistaken For Dead Baby

[Lite Beer]

Monkey Mistaken For Dead Baby
By Khaosod Online:

The small dead body which local residents in Udonthani province understood to be an abandoned infant has been identified as a monkey.

Police were alerted yesterday morning by residents in Baan Chan district that a dead infant has been discovered near Baan Kling Kam Reservoir. Officers and medical staff soon arrived at the scene to investigate.

The police found a decomposed body, 50-60 cm in length, which appeared to be a child with large teeth in the forest near the reservoir.

Local residents told police that some of them had detected the foul smell in the area for several days now, but no one investigated the site until a fisherman stumbled into the body on his way to the reservoir and promptly alerted the police.

News of teenage mothers leaving their newborn children often make it to the headlines in Thailand, where cases of unplanned pregnancy among the young have soared in recent years, and the residents were convinced that a similar incident has happened in their community.

However, forensic works soon established the dead body to be a monkey. Police believe that it might been a pet monkey of a family in the local area.

Source: http://Monkey Mistaken For Dead Baby

--KHAOSOD English: 2013-10-20

[Johnnie99]

You just have to laugh, don't you.

[brit1984]

the forensic experts realised the body may be a monkey after noticing in their textbook anatomy diagrams that humans do not have tails

[bangarang]

... or was it?

[Boss]

TV running out of news ??

[Mitker]

"(...) The police found a decomposed body, 50-60 cm in length, which appeared to be a child with large teeth (...)"

Enough to solve and cut short the question in most places

Enough to fuel the paranoid psyches here

[Thaddeus]

I wonder if someone thought it was a French spy.

[patongphil]

the forensic experts realised the body may be a monkey after noticing in their textbook anatomy diagrams that humans do not have tails

Had to have a chuckle at that.

[kurnell]

I've shopped at Homepro, so I can understand the confusion.

[peecee]

I wonder if someone thought it was a French spy.

Na, could only happen in Hartlepool!

[Maggusoil]

you have to admit this is a good headline . . heading for disappointment

[brit1984]

Police investigating the incident say their work is being hampered by a complete lack of co-operation from the local residents.

According to the police, the locals aren't answering their questions and are interfering with evidence gathering efforts.

Detective Dunowai told reporters "one of the locals ripped the mirror off my bike and another stole my binoculars and ran up a tree".

[davetrout]

someone put a hit on him for stealing a bag

[JoeThePoster]

Monkey Mistaken For Dead Baby

Was it clutching the keys of a motocy?

[newermonkey]

Yes and I have heard of people taking abandoned babies from the woods to bring them up as their own. its only when they (the child) leaves the rural life to enroll into university or the sex trade in the big city that people have to break the news to them, that actually their precious adopted child is in fact a monkey.

If you look around rural areas carefully you will see these monkies acting just like thai people, they in fact simulate into society incredibly well. Of course they speak a language that sounds ridiculous (to us), they eat weird food, they do very dumb monkey things, they piss in public, they spit on the ground, the male variety apears to like being drunk most of the time (these variety or sub-species are called the "Piss Head Monkey") but they all actually just blend right in, positive proof of this is that some foreigners actually marry some of them and both appear to be very happy together.

As you can see from my name and avatar I am an expert on this subject, so don't complain.

[sirchai]

I think it was an Alien.- .

[DILLIGAD]

I think it was an Alien.- .

I think it was an Alien Crisp!

Sorry, a local Sanom, Surin Province Joke

[brit1984]

Yes and I have heard of people taking abandoned babies from the woods to bring them up as their own. its only when they (the child) leaves the rural life to enroll into university or the sex trade in the big city that people have to break the news to them, that actually their precious adopted child is in fact a monkey.

If you look around rural areas carefully you will see these monkies acting just like thai people, they in fact simulate into society incredibly well. Of course they speak a language that sounds ridiculous (to us), they eat weird food, they do very dumb monkey things, they piss in public, they spit on the ground, the male variety apears to like being drunk most of the time (these variety or sub-species are called the "Piss Head Monkey") but they all actually just blend right in, positive proof of this is that some foreigners actually marry some of them and both appear to be very happy together.

As you can see from my name and avatar I am an expert on this subject, so don't complain.

maybe that explains the disappearance of my banoffee pie from the fridge

[newermonkey]

Yes and I have heard of people taking abandoned babies from the woods to bring them up as their own. its only when they (the child) leaves the rural life to enroll into university or the sex trade in the big city that people have to break the news to them, that actually their precious adopted child is in fact a monkey.

If you look around rural areas carefully you will see these monkies acting just like thai people, they in fact simulate into society incredibly well. Of course they speak a language that sounds ridiculous (to us), they eat weird food, they do very dumb monkey things, they piss in public, they spit on the ground, the male variety apears to like being drunk most of the time (these variety or sub-species are called the "Piss Head Monkey") but they all actually just blend right in, positive proof of this is that some foreigners actually marry some of them and both appear to be very happy together.

As you can see from my name and avatar I am an expert on this subject, so don't complain.

maybe that explains the disappearance of my banoffee pie from the fridge

Undoubtedly sir. It would have been the "Rhesus Banoffee Monkey" a distant relative to the "I don't like it but I'm going to eat it anyway monkey" commonly shortened to "Piglet Monkey"

If you are certain you have this infestation I am afraid there is not much you can do because these creatures are extremely cunning and exterminating them would be considered to be "just not right".