Middle Thailand Increasingly Thinking Marrying A Farang Is "Low Class"

[ABCer]

This post is a mixed bag of sociopathology, white supremacy and racism.

Have been married three times in three different countries.

Never ever married a 'CLASS'. Somehow it was always a person.

All this talk about Hi-So, Mid-So, Lo-So in my opinion is nothing but Suck-So.

Once again, IMHO...

[Berkshire]

Not sure what a middle=class is. I'd guess people like university lecturers or perhaps small business owners.

I have a few lecturer friends who are married and I think they got married because they love their partner.

It's a myth that Thai women don't want to marry a Thai man but would rather a foreigner. This just isn't true. If you meet a woman who criticizes Thai men just ask her about her father.

I agree that this is a myth that continues to be perpetuated...but strangely manages to stay confined within the farang community and the Thai females who hunt and gather within said community. Do farangs who actually buy this myth believe that the millions of Thai women currently with Thai men all secretly wish to be with a farang? Yeah, right, I'm sure they're all obsessed with that. Especially all these hot celebrities who could be with most any guy.

Let's face it, normal Thai girls growing up in Thailand want to be with a Thai guy about their age. But as they get older and if other dynamics come to play, such as money issues, lack of prospects, single motherhood, etc., then they might consider other options. We're Option B guys, like it or not. It's not that bad.

[infinity11]

OP TITLE:

just look at them!

(farang in thailand that is)

if that doesn't convince you

talk to some of them

bwahahahahahahahahahaha

Edited October 30, 2013 by infinity11

[zombie nights]

From a Thai perspective, they seem more concerned with marrying someone with a white skin.Leaving a lot of the "darkie" Thais to the farangs, and many of these farangs seem happy to oblige.

[swissie]

OP well written post.

The OP's observations are absolutely correct. Like it or not ! Want to turn back the clock 10 years?

Cheers.

[maccaroni man]

My bet is the avg middle Thai gives less than 000001% thought of what we do.

[HardenedSoul]

Not sure what a middle=class is. I'd guess people like university lecturers or perhaps small business owners.

I have a few lecturer friends who are married and I think they got married because they love their partner.

It's a myth that Thai women don't want to marry a Thai man but would rather a foreigner. This just isn't true. If you meet a woman who criticizes Thai men just ask her about her father.

I agree that this is a myth that continues to be perpetuated...but strangely manages to stay confined within the farang community and the Thai females who hunt and gather within said community. Do farangs who actually buy this myth believe that the millions of Thai women currently with Thai men all secretly wish to be with a farang? Yeah, right, I'm sure they're all obsessed with that. Especially all these hot celebrities who could be with most any guy.

Let's face it, normal Thai girls growing up in Thailand want to be with a Thai guy about their age. But as they get older and if other dynamics come to play, such as money issues, lack of prospects, single motherhood, etc., then they might consider other options. We're Option B guys, like it or not. It's not that bad.

Listening to some of the more deluded TV posters, anyone devoid of any knowledge of women would believe that Thai girls grow up dreaming of having sex with a Western pensioner.

[humbug]

the op is wrong in my opinion

i feel the opposite is occuring with more middle class thai woman with foreigners than ever before

maybe its because i am seeing more foreign to thai middle class partnerships with less of an age gap etc

but cetainly more and more thai middle class are dating foreigners and more and more middleclass ate studying overseas etc society is being sanitised to dating outside the past norm

what maybe the op is trying to say is he is seeing less and less thai middle class dating foriegners with a large age gap

Edited October 30, 2013 by humbug

[VisaProblem]

".... less and less thai middle class dating foreigners with a large age gap"

that is certainly true.

Edited October 31, 2013 by VisaProblem

[laolover88]

thai women will alaway prefere thai men

Evidence??. We have quite a number of well educated so-called middle class Thai friends who never considered marrying a middle class Thai man! And did not! Often for very good reasons from their experience! To quote a few: 'lazy/idle', 'spoilt/mummy's boys', 'inclined to violence', 'likely to be unfaithful', 'they don't take care of the children'.......generalisations...but " if the dog don't shit there's no smell" as the saying goes

On the subject of relationships/attitudes this a good fun read: http://www.atimes.com/atimes/China/CHIN-01-291013.html

[arthurwait]

".... less and less thai middle class dating foreigners with a large age gap"

that is certainly true.

Yep go to Mega Bang Na on the weekend and 90% of the Thai - Farang couples there are similar aged middle class couples with kids.

[amykat]

thai women will alaway prefere thai men

Evidence??. We have quite a number of well educated so-called middle class Thai friends who never considered marrying a middle class Thai man! And did not! Often for very good reasons from their experience! To quote a few: 'lazy/idle', 'spoilt/mummy's boys', 'inclined to violence', 'likely to be unfaithful', 'they don't take care of the children'.......generalisations...but " if the dog don't shit there's no smell" as the saying goes

On the subject of relationships/attitudes this a good fun read: http://www.atimes.com/atimes/China/CHIN-01-291013.html

Thanks for that link, Laolover88, it was interesting and nice to see it explained. Sounds like Thailand is the same for Thai people? I liked the part where the effect on females/wives is described. Frankly, it is rather depressing to think about as a woman, that so many women in the world are living like this, in some way or another. Maybe because Western women grow up with much more romantic illusions about love/sex/marriage which according to my experience, are mostly delusions! Although I would still much rather be me, than an Asian or Thai lady ...but sometimes I wish I had thought more like an Asian lady when I was younger and realized the potential rather than trying to find "true love"!! Not sure much would be different though ...just that I would have demanded/asked for more than I ever did.

On another hand, maybe some of you Asian-loving men, should be grateful for your unappreciated Western women/lovers you had for years before coming here, since we mosty give it away for "free" as Thais like to say, no allowance, no money for family ....in fact some of us paid for you and paid for ourselves!

[FiftyTwo]

On another hand, maybe some of you Asian-loving men, should be grateful for your unappreciated Western women/lovers you had for years before coming here, since we mosty give it away for "free" as Thais like to say, no allowance, no money for family ....in fact some of us paid for you and paid for ourselves!

It was never free, I had to pay a very expensive house, all my savings and half my pension.

[amykat]

I'm sorry for you Fifty Two ...this can happen to many married people, not just men these days. I lost a lot also, in a not very fair divorce. I just try to recogniize that not ONLY men fall into this trap/situation. I guess the major determinate seems to be if you have a shit/criminal seeming spouse as your adversary or a normal, nice person and maybe some other factors. But you can't take it as a given, that "all men get screwed" ...it should be maybe that some percentage of people get screwed in divorces.

And really, women are not the only people getting married for money these days. Many women out-earn their husbands, and many older women marry men who are well below them financially. My theory is that many men, who didn't plan well for retirement, are bad with money, whatever, seek out those widows, divorcees, never-married ladies with good careers ...come on, admit it, you know some, right? I mean, I have learned on TV that any and all women over 40 are undesireable, unless maybe the man is 95, then up to 45 years will do ...so what else could be the reason?

[HardenedSoul]

thai women will alaway prefere thai men

Evidence??. We have quite a number of well educated so-called middle class Thai friends who never considered marrying a middle class Thai man! And did not! Often for very good reasons from their experience! To quote a few: 'lazy/idle', 'spoilt/mummy's boys', 'inclined to violence', 'likely to be unfaithful', 'they don't take care of the children'.......generalisations...but " if the dog don't shit there's no smell" as the saying goes

On the subject of relationships/attitudes this a good fun read: http://www.atimes.com/atimes/China/CHIN-01-291013.html

Maybe because Western women grow up with much more romantic illusions about love/sex/marriage which according to my experience, are mostly delusions! Although I would still much rather be me, than an Asian or Thai lady ...but sometimes I wish I had thought more like an Asian lady when I was younger and realized the potential rather than trying to find "true love"!! Not sure much would be different though ...just that I would have demanded/asked for more than I ever did.

On another hand, maybe some of you Asian-loving men, should be grateful for your unappreciated Western women/lovers you had for years before coming here, since we mosty give it away for "free" as Thais like to say, no allowance, no money for family ....in fact some of us paid for you and paid for ourselves!

So what you're saying is it would have been better to never have loved at all than to have loved and lost, right?

Sounds like a lot of regret there

[amykat]

Well H.S.,

Yes, and No. Maybe best would be to have loved ONCE and not gotten married. Or gotten married to a different kind of guy, or not have loved the guy I married? Something, OTHER than what I have done, in MY life, certainly could have been better!!

Actually, almost everything I have done in terms of love life, COULD have been better. Once I moved here, I had just given up! That seems to be working for me.

I would like to have known "love' whatever that is, at least once, so I scored there at least.

[FiftyTwo]

I'm sorry for you Fifty Two ...this can happen to many married people, not just men these days. I lost a lot also, in a not very fair divorce. I just try to recogniize that not ONLY men fall into this trap/situation. I guess the major determinate seems to be if you have a shit/criminal seeming spouse as your adversary or a normal, nice person and maybe some other factors. But you can't take it as a given, that "all men get screwed" ...it should be maybe that some percentage of people get screwed in divorces.

And really, women are not the only people getting married for money these days. Many women out-earn their husbands, and many older women marry men who are well below them financially. My theory is that many men, who didn't plan well for retirement, are bad with money, whatever, seek out those widows, divorcees, never-married ladies with good careers ...come on, admit it, you know some, right? I mean, I have learned on TV that any and all women over 40 are undesireable, unless maybe the man is 95, then up to 45 years will do ...so what else could be the reason?

I don't know one guy that managed to shaft his UK wife.

Know plenty guys who lost a house and children to her though.

Not many women in the UK earning more than their husbands, I'm thinking.

Not many women marry 'below themselves' either.

I guess the USA and the UK are more different than we imagine.

As for all women over 40 undesirable, not so at all, plenty of Thai ladies in their 40s are plenty desirable (and available).

I found the problem with western women in their 40s, is they aren't as easily available (to me anyway).

OK, I admit it, I'm getting lazy.

[amykat]

Dear Fifty Two,

I would counter that many men you know, SAID, whatever they said to you, that they got "screwed" ... because almost ALL men, I have ever known, and at least half the people I know, are men, SAY they got screwed, BECAUSE most men, who work and have non-working wives, or part-time working wives, or wives who "only got an inheritance worth the value of our house" or had a wife who "only worked while they were in medical school for 6 years, and then had 7 kids" etc, CONSIDER that EVERY single thing is theirs!

They "lost" the house because their wife and 7 kids are still living in it until they are 18 or 20 or out of school, and then it will be sold and the proceeds shared. They lost half their savings or pensions because their wife didn't work, they knew that, when they chose to do that. Those of us WIVES who did work, who did save, who do have penisons, ALSO lost HALF, or more, but usually when someone says they lost MORE, it is in exchange for something ...like less alimoney, less child support, less whatever ...but we know that guys like to make it seem worse, and ALL say they lost a house, savings and pension! What they don't say is that their ex-wife and 7 kids are living on $1500 a month and have to pay the house payment and taxes, while they live there, before they split the "profits" or whatever else is really going on!

Edited October 31, 2013 by amykat

[FiftyTwo]

Dear Fifty Two,

I would counter that many men you know, SAID, whatever they said to you, that they got "screwed" ... because almost ALL men, I have ever known, and at least half the people I know, are men, SAY they got screwed, BECAUSE most men, who work and have non-working wives, or part-time working wives, or wives who "only got an inheritance worth the value of our house" or had a wife who "only worked while they were in medical school for 6 years, and then had 7 kids" etc, CONSIDER that EVERY single thing is theirs!

They "lost" the house because their wife and 7 kids are still living in it until they are 18 or 20 or out of school, and then it will be sold and the proceeds shared. They lost half their savings or pensions because their wife didn't work, they knew that, when they chose to do that. Those of us WIVES who did work, who did save, who do have penisons, ALSO lost HALF, or more, but usually when someone says they lost MORE, it is in exchange for something ...like less alimoney, less child support, less whatever ...but we know that guys like to make it seem worse, and ALL say they lost a house, savings and pension! What they don't say is that their ex-wife and 7 kids are living on $1500 a month and have to pay the house payment and taxes, while they live there, before they split the "profits" or whatever else is really going on!

Nope, in the UK wife with kids gets the house outright, free and clear, no house payments. No property taxes.

Also, I was just wondering here,

IMAGINE

my UK wife has a baby, stops work for 3 months maternity, decides not to return to work, I get no say, what to do?

Absolutely nothing, I complain, she can divorce me for mental cruelty, gets the house free and clear.

So I don't complain, she pops another couple, now I'm down for child maintenance of 25% my gross for 19 years.

What can I do, nothing, I accept it of I lose my house and my children.

Sure is great to be a woman, pop a baby, get a free house, free pension, never have to work again.

As I said, seems USA and UK have different ways of doing things.

[HardenedSoul]

Dear Fifty Two,

I would counter that many men you know, SAID, whatever they said to you, that they got "screwed" ... because almost ALL men, I have ever known, and at least half the people I know, are men, SAY they got screwed, BECAUSE most men, who work and have non-working wives, or part-time working wives, or wives who "only got an inheritance worth the value of our house" or had a wife who "only worked while they were in medical school for 6 years, and then had 7 kids" etc, CONSIDER that EVERY single thing is theirs!

They "lost" the house because their wife and 7 kids are still living in it until they are 18 or 20 or out of school, and then it will be sold and the proceeds shared. They lost half their savings or pensions because their wife didn't work, they knew that, when they chose to do that. Those of us WIVES who did work, who did save, who do have penisons, ALSO lost HALF, or more, but usually when someone says they lost MORE, it is in exchange for something ...like less alimoney, less child support, less whatever ...but we know that guys like to make it seem worse, and ALL say they lost a house, savings and pension! What they don't say is that their ex-wife and 7 kids are living on $1500 a month and have to pay the house payment and taxes, while they live there, before they split the "profits" or whatever else is really going on!

Are you the wife who spent 6 years in medical school and then had 7 kids?

[Amavel]

I am a Hispanic American that is an ultra liberal Socialist, that practices Tibetan Buddhism. I am a retired State employee collecting a pension which I spend on my Thai wife and child of mixed race. I am also overweight. I have so many reasons for people to hate me, what people think of my marriage? I just don't give a damn. In a thousand years we will all be one beautiful brown color.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[HardenedSoul]

Dear Fifty Two,

I would counter that many men you know, SAID, whatever they said to you, that they got "screwed" ... because almost ALL men, I have ever known, and at least half the people I know, are men, SAY they got screwed, BECAUSE most men, who work and have non-working wives, or part-time working wives, or wives who "only got an inheritance worth the value of our house" or had a wife who "only worked while they were in medical school for 6 years, and then had 7 kids" etc, CONSIDER that EVERY single thing is theirs!

They "lost" the house because their wife and 7 kids are still living in it until they are 18 or 20 or out of school, and then it will be sold and the proceeds shared. They lost half their savings or pensions because their wife didn't work, they knew that, when they chose to do that. Those of us WIVES who did work, who did save, who do have penisons, ALSO lost HALF, or more, but usually when someone says they lost MORE, it is in exchange for something ...like less alimoney, less child support, less whatever ...but we know that guys like to make it seem worse, and ALL say they lost a house, savings and pension! What they don't say is that their ex-wife and 7 kids are living on $1500 a month and have to pay the house payment and taxes, while they live there, before they split the "profits" or whatever else is really going on!

Nope, in the UK wife with kids gets the house outright, free and clear, no house payments. No property taxes.

Also, I was just wondering here,

IMAGINE

my UK wife has a baby, stops work for 3 months maternity, decides not to return to work, I get no say, what to do?

Absolutely nothing, I complain, she can divorce me for mental cruelty, gets the house free and clear.

So I don't complain, she pops another couple, now I'm down for child maintenance of 25% my gross for 19 years.

What can I do, nothing, I accept it of I lose my house and my children.

Sure is great to be a woman, pop a baby, get a free house, free pension, never have to work again.

As I said, seems USA and UK have different ways of doing things.

Sorry mate, you haven't been hard done by.

You could have complained about her not going back to work; you didn't refrain from doing so because she would have divorced you for mental cruelty - that's <deleted>. You didn't complain because you probably thought it was a decent idea at the time and, hey, you wouldn't have had to pay for childcare.

Did you actually say, "No more sprogs" after the first? You didn't have to have more did you? You could've "bagged up", right? You could've had the snip, right?

Sounds like you had plenty of choices but you made the wrong ones.

I wonder though; do you still think me a loser for having swerved marriage?

[kevozman1]

Dear Fifty Two,

I would counter that many men you know, SAID, whatever they said to you, that they got "screwed" ... because almost ALL men, I have ever known, and at least half the people I know, are men, SAY they got screwed, BECAUSE most men, who work and have non-working wives, or part-time working wives, or wives who "only got an inheritance worth the value of our house" or had a wife who "only worked while they were in medical school for 6 years, and then had 7 kids" etc, CONSIDER that EVERY single thing is theirs!

They "lost" the house because their wife and 7 kids are still living in it until they are 18 or 20 or out of school, and then it will be sold and the proceeds shared. They lost half their savings or pensions because their wife didn't work, they knew that, when they chose to do that. Those of us WIVES who did work, who did save, who do have penisons, ALSO lost HALF, or more, but usually when someone says they lost MORE, it is in exchange for something ...like less alimoney, less child support, less whatever ...but we know that guys like to make it seem worse, and ALL say they lost a house, savings and pension! What they don't say is that their ex-wife and 7 kids are living on $1500 a month and have to pay the house payment and taxes, while they live there, before they split the "profits" or whatever else is really going on!

Nope, in the UK wife with kids gets the house outright, free and clear, no house payments. No property taxes.

Also, I was just wondering here,

IMAGINE

my UK wife has a baby, stops work for 3 months maternity, decides not to return to work, I get no say, what to do?

Absolutely nothing, I complain, she can divorce me for mental cruelty, gets the house free and clear.

So I don't complain, she pops another couple, now I'm down for child maintenance of 25% my gross for 19 years.

What can I do, nothing, I accept it of I lose my house and my children.

Sure is great to be a woman, pop a baby, get a free house, free pension, never have to work again.

As I said, seems USA and UK have different ways of doing things.

Sorry mate, you haven't been hard done by.

You could have complained about her not going back to work; you didn't refrain from doing so because she would have divorced you for mental cruelty - that's <deleted>. You didn't complain because you probably thought it was a decent idea at the time and, hey, you wouldn't have had to pay for childcare.

Did you actually say, "No more sprogs" after the first? You didn't have to have more did you? You could've "bagged up", right? You could've had the snip, right?

Sounds like you had plenty of choices but you made the wrong ones.

I wonder though; do you still think me a loser for having swerved marriage?

No, not at all! I may have made mistakes in my time, but dodging the whole western marriage thing was one of my more smarter ideas. I preferred the one where I payed off my own mortgage and bills, had casual flings with women until I was in a position to do what I wanted with my life.

Also West London, well represented.

Edited October 31, 2013 by kevozman1

[FiftyTwo]

I wonder though; do you still think me a loser for having swerved marriage?

Abnormal might have been a better description (as opposed to loser).

No, I don't regret my previous marriage, it lasted 25 years, and I enjoyed the company of the children.

If I had known all the facts from the start, I probably would still have done it.

If I had been given the choice to divorce or not, knowing the financial loss, I would probably still have done it.

I traded a 50 year old wife, house, savings, children, pension and life in the UK for a 30 year old wife, several affairs, house, children, gik, retirement and a life in Thailand.

Had the normal thing AND now now living the dream.

Damned good deal IMHO!

I've had two lives, you only had one (and a sad and lonely one at that).

PS

Central London, Gray's Inn road also represented!

Edited October 31, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[fletchsmile]

I'm sure this is one (of many) factor (s) that (some) middle class take into account.

On the other hand, the middle class is a minority in Thailand in the first place. Say 10% - 15% off Thailand's population. Plus there are many factors that take it in the opposite direction. In the last couple of decades Thailand's views have opened up, and the country become more globalised than it was, with Thais getting a bit more used to inter-racial marriages. The current generation of young adults is more open-minded than their parents.

If anything it's probably more acceptable than it use to be for your daughter to marry one of those barbarians not from Thailand

Cheers

Fletch

[amykat]

NO H.S,

I am the wife who got an BA degree, then spent 3 years in law school, while my husband spent 4 years in med school and then 1 year doing an internship. We bought a business together with my money, he didn't have any money, only huge debts, and I had no debts. We worked together in this business, even before we were married. Well I worked there full time and he worked there one day a week. I adopted a kid after we were divorced, and he had a kid with his mistress, who used to be our employee.

Any other questions? What exactly are you looking for?

Oh, and I started another business on the side, which paid for our house, in cash, which appreciated quite a lot, in a short amount of time. Something he wasn't interested in and made enough money in one year for a house, in Los Angeles. So he wasn't really "carrying me" through this relationship. We had spent all "our" money 9 months before this to buy the business, and didn't expect to have money for a new house so soon. Also, he didn't even want to buy the house and was totally pissed off at me, for some reason I could not understand at the time, but came to understand later.

[HardenedSoul]

I wonder though; do you still think me a loser for having swerved marriage?

Abnormal might have been a better description (as opposed to loser).

No, I don't regret my previous marriage, it lasted 25 years, and I enjoyed the company of the children.

If I had known all the facts from the start, I probably would still have done it.

If I had been given the choice to divorce or not, knowing the financial loss, I would probably still have done it.

I traded a 50 year old wife, house, savings, children, pension and life in the UK for a 30 year old wife, several affairs, house, children, gik, retirement and a life in Thailand.

Had the normal thing AND now now living the dream.

Damned good deal IMHO!

I've had two lives, you only had one (and a sad and lonely one at that).

PS

Central London, Gray's Inn road also represented!

Sad? Lonely? Nah!

Y'see, like you, I was presented with a choice. I'd been with my long-term girlfriend for 12 years from the age of 20. She was 17.

Crunch time came when she hit 29 and I, 32. She was a rising star lawyer, I was "something in the City". She wanted to tie the knot. I was dubious

It was a toss up between getting married, getting a joint mortgage and watching the lithe, supple and beautiful half white/half Chinese goddess I met and fell for turn into a whinging walrus or waiting a bit until I could truly appreciate the enormity of the commitment that marriage represents. I chose the latter and, frankly, looking back on how well life has gone since then, I think I chose very wisely indeed.

How do I know? Because last I saw, her arse was being fitted with reversing lights and a "wide load" warning beeper and the sap who eventually married her was shagging around behind her back.

At the time, it did hurt to swerve it but swerve I did. It paved the way for several relationships with some truly cracking women and some amazing friendships that have endured for years since.

So here I sit in lovely Bangkok with all my finances intact, a broad choice of charming, beautiful women possessed of their own means at my disposal and, most importantly, a clean emotional slate - no baggage, no bitterness, no alimony.

[Thai at Heart]

".... less and less thai middle class dating foreigners with a large age gap"

that is certainly true.

Yep go to Mega Bang Na on the weekend and 90% of the Thai - Farang couples there are similar aged middle class couples with kids.

Maybe what changed it was the advent of ikea ?

[Thai at Heart]

I'm sure this is one (of many) factor (s) that (some) middle class take into account.

On the other hand, the middle class is a minority in Thailand in the first place. Say 10% - 15% off Thailand's population. Plus there are many factors that take it in the opposite direction. In the last couple of decades Thailand's views have opened up, and the country become more globalised than it was, with Thais getting a bit more used to inter-racial marriages. The current generation of young adults is more open-minded than their parents.

If anything it's probably more acceptable than it use to be for your daughter to marry one of those barbarians not from Thailand

Cheers

Fletch

What they consider middle class in Thailand would barely make upper lower class in the west.

There is an enormous gap between upper and middle in Thailand. The middle is scrapping to desperately get away from the lower end by borrowing like crazy, but reality is, the amount of wealth in the middle class in Thailand is very small and their earnings still low by western standards.

If they want to look down their noises w at foreigners, let them marry their daughters off to Thais in return for the dowry.

Must be very proud.

[MAJIC]

This sounds like another Typical wind up, Old Farangs with Young Thai women,only this time it's a thinly disguised superiority of the Thais angle,and Thais are marrying beneath their station in life.

A few months ago,there was a Government Minister who was advising Thai women,that their best option in life was to marry a Westerner,and get a much easier,richer life. Perhaps someone can remember the name of the Topic?

I take you have some evidence to confirm your statement below ?

Replying to Middle Thailand Increasingly Thinking Marrying A Farang Is "Low Class"