Does Your Wife Or Partner Gamble ?

[transam]

My wife will occasionally gamble, but it never involves much more than a few hundred baht. She knows when to stop and knows that I won't give her more money to gamble. This is mostly when there is a funeral or some other thing in the village. As long as it stays like that, I don't mind it and I think it is just a fun social thing for her to do. I consider it an entertainment expense, like a night out on the town. As long as it stays like that, I don't think it is a problem.

The ones that get me (and I have met a few) are the ones who gamble to the point that it really affects their day to day living...whether it is cards (usually women) or bets on football matches (usually men). I have been to watch football games and it wasn't even fun, since several guys around were so upset that they were losing. No fun at all.

Same at my local snooker hall. Everybody plays for money.

[proovms]

I have a friend with a serious problem, will finish work at midnight and gamble until 10am if not later, multiple times per week. He doesn't think he has a problem, and wonders why he's ill continuously. I spoke to his friend and he says "In Thailand we have a saying: 'Don't count the corpses until the battle is over'", which apparently translates to gamble until you are literally unable to continue.

[dao16]

My wife will occasionally gamble, but it never involves much more than a few hundred baht. She knows when to stop and knows that I won't give her more money to gamble. This is mostly when there is a funeral or some other thing in the village. As long as it stays like that, I don't mind it and I think it is just a fun social thing for her to do. I consider it an entertainment expense, like a night out on the town. As long as it stays like that, I don't think it is a problem.

The ones that get me (and I have met a few) are the ones who gamble to the point that it really affects their day to day living...whether it is cards (usually women) or bets on football matches (usually men). I have been to watch football games and it wasn't even fun, since several guys around were so upset that they were losing. No fun at all.

Same at my local snooker hall. Everybody plays for money.

Yeah, we used to have a card night on Saturdays with all the foreigners at the office (locals weren't interested in playing the "strange" foreigner card games). Sometimes, on Mondays, people would ask us who won and how much. We would tell them we just play for fun and then tell them who won (usually we split up via nationalities to give us more sh** talking opportunities all in good fun). The usual response was "How is it fun if you don't play for money?" It's just so ingrained in the culture in most of Asia--cards=money games.

[gerryBScot]

I am a compulsive gambler and alcoholic, in fact addiction, obsession, delusion, compulsion have been my life. I haven't gambled in almost 11 years, alcohol free for over 10, gave up smoking about 8 years ago. I am lucky to be alive and grateful for the life I have today.

With gambling it is much simpler to hide the consequences from those that might be around you - you know, get the mail so your loved ones don't get to see the bank statements and credit card bills. As a drunk it is virtually impossible to hide the behaviour - I directly affected everybody around me when I was pissed. In the insanity of it all I had a rule - I never drank and gambled at the same time! I really kept to this rule religiously - I am giggling as I write this because I used to think drink affected my judgment! I hope the irony of this isn't lost - at that time I had huge gambling debts.

At the end I could not stop. If I had money I had to gamble - winning was the only solution to my chronic indebtedness. Unfortunately I had a couple of big winning days in the 20 odd years I was at it. DIdn't make the slightest difference. WHen I won I gambled bigger and lost more.

Most of the women I knew who were compulsive gamblers were either on the game or "kept" and that was the price they were prepared to pay for a stake.

I couldn't stop on my own. I saw a counsellor and was in action after our meeting. I did quit thanks to Gamblers Anonymous but it took me a long time and a lot of damage to get there. I trashed a lot of people and institutions for money. Was lucky to avoid jail. Near the end, having just blown a month's salary in 24 hours, I was trying to negotiate an increase in my overdraft of about £500. I told the person from the bank about the total extent of my indebtedness, 7 maxxed credit cards - I was honest. She asked what the problem was: I told her I was a compulsive gambler, probably the first time I had acknowledged this to anyone. SHe asked me to hold and a few minutes later came on saying they couldn't do it but that they could offer me a loan for a ridiculous amount of money........I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

I wouldn't begrudge anyone a bet or a lottery ticket. It's fun, it's exciting. But for some of us, and most importantly for me, we can't do it in any shape or form. I call it a disease but I'm not passing responsibility for it to others. I call it a mental illness - but psychiatry and medicine would never have stopped me. Other compulsive gamblers helped me to stop and I am ready and willing to help anyone out there who wants to stop but can't.

[Neeranam]

Having been married to a Thai for over 40 year and being around them even longer; I have to question the results of this poll. Right now it is showing 71% - never?

In my experience the top three passtimes for Thai people are gambling, eating and sex. Those vary in importance depending on the time of day and the age of the people. But those three are always the top.

Most farangs find after the house or car is losted

May I point out that it is not only a farang losing out thing. I know many Thai folk who have lost their nest egg.

I have a few Western friends as I said already that make big money from gambling.

I also have two Thai friends in Isarn that are billionaires due to gambling. I'm tired of hearing about all the losers. It's impossible for everyone to lose. Granted, there are a lot of people out there that haven't a clue about EV(expected value) or even odds!

[benalibina]

Having been married to a Thai for over 40 year and being around them even longer; I have to question the results of this poll. Right now it is showing 71% - never?

In my experience the top three passtimes for Thai people are gambling, eating and sex. Those vary in importance depending on the time of day and the age of the people. But those three are always the top.

Most farangs find after the house or car is losted

May I point out that it is not only a farang losing out thing. I know many Thai folk who have lost their nest egg.

I have a few Western friends as I said already that make big money from gambling.

I also have two Thai friends in Isarn that are billionaires due to gambling. I'm tired of hearing about all the losers. It's impossible for everyone to lose. Granted, there are a lot of people out there that haven't a clue about EV(expected value) or even odds!

Waiting to read about your, or your friends, system how to make money with gambling. You care to share ?

[Neeranam]

I am a compulsive gambler and alcoholic, in fact addiction, obsession, delusion, compulsion have been my life. I haven't gambled in almost 11 years, alcohol free for over 10, gave up smoking about 8 years ago. I am lucky to be alive and grateful for the life I have today.

With gambling it is much simpler to hide the consequences from those that might be around you - you know, get the mail so your loved ones don't get to see the bank statements and credit card bills. As a drunk it is virtually impossible to hide the behaviour - I directly affected everybody around me when I was pissed. In the insanity of it all I had a rule - I never drank and gambled at the same time! I really kept to this rule religiously - I am giggling as I write this because I used to think drink affected my judgment! I hope the irony of this isn't lost - at that time I had huge gambling debts.

At the end I could not stop. If I had money I had to gamble - winning was the only solution to my chronic indebtedness. Unfortunately I had a couple of big winning days in the 20 odd years I was at it. DIdn't make the slightest difference. WHen I won I gambled bigger and lost more.

Most of the women I knew who were compulsive gamblers were either on the game or "kept" and that was the price they were prepared to pay for a stake.

I couldn't stop on my own. I saw a counsellor and was in action after our meeting. I did quit thanks to Gamblers Anonymous but it took me a long time and a lot of damage to get there. I trashed a lot of people and institutions for money. Was lucky to avoid jail. Near the end, having just blown a month's salary in 24 hours, I was trying to negotiate an increase in my overdraft of about £500. I told the person from the bank about the total extent of my indebtedness, 7 maxxed credit cards - I was honest. She asked what the problem was: I told her I was a compulsive gambler, probably the first time I had acknowledged this to anyone. SHe asked me to hold and a few minutes later came on saying they couldn't do it but that they could offer me a loan for a ridiculous amount of money........I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

I wouldn't begrudge anyone a bet or a lottery ticket. It's fun, it's exciting. But for some of us, and most importantly for me, we can't do it in any shape or form. I call it a disease but I'm not passing responsibility for it to others. I call it a mental illness - but psychiatry and medicine would never have stopped me. Other compulsive gamblers helped me to stop and I am ready and willing to help anyone out there who wants to stop but can't.

I once joined 2 forums about GA to ask a few questions as I also have an addictive nature. Both of them banned me for telling them how much I had won. I guess it's like someone going to AA and telling them how much they're enjoying drinking.

[gerryBScot]

I am a compulsive gambler and alcoholic, in fact addiction, obsession, delusion, compulsion have been my life. I haven't gambled in almost 11 years, alcohol free for over 10, gave up smoking about 8 years ago. I am lucky to be alive and grateful for the life I have today.

With gambling it is much simpler to hide the consequences from those that might be around you - you know, get the mail so your loved ones don't get to see the bank statements and credit card bills. As a drunk it is virtually impossible to hide the behaviour - I directly affected everybody around me when I was pissed. In the insanity of it all I had a rule - I never drank and gambled at the same time! I really kept to this rule religiously - I am giggling as I write this because I used to think drink affected my judgment! I hope the irony of this isn't lost - at that time I had huge gambling debts.

At the end I could not stop. If I had money I had to gamble - winning was the only solution to my chronic indebtedness. Unfortunately I had a couple of big winning days in the 20 odd years I was at it. DIdn't make the slightest difference. WHen I won I gambled bigger and lost more.

Most of the women I knew who were compulsive gamblers were either on the game or "kept" and that was the price they were prepared to pay for a stake.

I couldn't stop on my own. I saw a counsellor and was in action after our meeting. I did quit thanks to Gamblers Anonymous but it took me a long time and a lot of damage to get there. I trashed a lot of people and institutions for money. Was lucky to avoid jail. Near the end, having just blown a month's salary in 24 hours, I was trying to negotiate an increase in my overdraft of about £500. I told the person from the bank about the total extent of my indebtedness, 7 maxxed credit cards - I was honest. She asked what the problem was: I told her I was a compulsive gambler, probably the first time I had acknowledged this to anyone. SHe asked me to hold and a few minutes later came on saying they couldn't do it but that they could offer me a loan for a ridiculous amount of money........I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

I wouldn't begrudge anyone a bet or a lottery ticket. It's fun, it's exciting. But for some of us, and most importantly for me, we can't do it in any shape or form. I call it a disease but I'm not passing responsibility for it to others. I call it a mental illness - but psychiatry and medicine would never have stopped me. Other compulsive gamblers helped me to stop and I am ready and willing to help anyone out there who wants to stop but can't.

I once joined 2 forums about GA to ask a few questions as I also have an addictive nature. Both of them banned me for telling them how much I had won. I guess it's like someone going to AA and telling them how much they're enjoying drinking.

Neeranam I've been living in Thailand 5 + years now and in consequence of this am out of touch with GA; I think there is a meeting in Patts but that is too far away for me to get to. My point is I am not sure about what GA's current approach is.

I can only speculate as to why you might have been banned and so whatever I say comes with a disclaimer as I don't know any of the circumstances. Basically GA discouraged people from talking about "amounts" as it was considered to be unhelpful. If, say, you have 500,000 and gamble and lose it, it is the same as having £100 and doing likewise. The problem is if people talk about amounts then the players who play for smaller amounts might think they don't have a problem.

A second reason would be to discourage what might be called "big shot-ism" or perhaps better known as "big shit-ism"! Part of my personality as a compulsive gambler was a need to be a "big shot", have a big wad of money and to be able to splash it about for everyone to see......the word "w**ker" springs to mind as I laugh at the memory of how life once was. In my previous existence I was very popular with a certain type of woman in Thai beer bars! Slow horses and fast women, indeed! I can laugh today but it was a truly grim existence.

So basically in terms of recovering from this addiction it helps to disregard the amount of money involved: by definition we will gamble whatever we can earn, beg, borrow, steal - it is different for each person. I must say I agree with the approach and it undoubtedly helped me.

[jonesthebaker]

Better to donate that money to the Temple than to gamble it on the lottery.

how do you work that out. you can win lots of money on the lottery. giving money to a religious organization one may not believe in gets you what - merit?

[johnnycthedog]

Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. But became addicted to poker machines in Oz. Lost more than I dare say. Total loss included marriage. Soooooo sad.

I didn't see "chronic problem" amongst your choices.

Mate ... that's just plain sad.

May I ask, how did she access the amount of money to put through the machines?

Did she work? Or rely on your money?

Blow Up the Pokies: The Whitlams and Sydney Symphony Orchestra

.

May I ask, how did she access the amount of money to put through the machines?

David you have spent enough time here and been around Thais long enough to already know the answer.

Let me spell it out for you, some of these mia farang never gave up their profession on marrying the white knight in shining armour and moving overseas.

Examples I know of, one woman gambled away 2 million baht, proceeds of a house sale, another gambled away not one but two restaurants, I cant be assed recounting the others.

The most galling was when one Thai wanted to use our house as a "knocking shop", she couldnt understand why the mrs told her to eff off.

To rgs2001uk - No my wife wasn't selling pussy to get the money for the poker machines. I resent your implication that all Thai girls married to foreigners sell pussy at the first opportunity to get extra money.

I sent you a PM on this I hope you receive it ok. [i'm not really sure how to send PM's] She never gambled in Thailand.

My wife worked a number of restaurant and cleaning jobs over many years. Sometimes working 60 hours per week. She was influenced by the other Asians she worked with.. Some people get hooked and she was one of those that did. She also accessed our joint bank account and credit cards before I put a stop to that avenue of funds.

As much as she earned was as much as she'd spend and because she was working she could get multiple credits cards. These were always maxed out and I stupidly from time to time would pay them down to zero only to be maxed out again. This behaviour went on for many years. I didn't want to throw her out on the street. I tried again and again to get her to stop without success. I won't bore you with the problems it caused, but there many.

In any form of addiction you have to be in the gutter before you truly want to change and get help. She's still working through her demons of addiction to poker machines but without me as a source of cash.

[rgs2001uk]

Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. But became addicted to poker machines in Oz. Lost more than I dare say. Total loss included marriage. Soooooo sad.

I didn't see "chronic problem" amongst your choices.

Mate ... that's just plain sad.

May I ask, how did she access the amount of money to put through the machines?

Did she work? Or rely on your money?

Blow Up the Pokies: The Whitlams and Sydney Symphony Orchestra

.

May I ask, how did she access the amount of money to put through the machines?

David you have spent enough time here and been around Thais long enough to already know the answer.

Let me spell it out for you, some of these mia farang never gave up their profession on marrying the white knight in shining armour and moving overseas.

Examples I know of, one woman gambled away 2 million baht, proceeds of a house sale, another gambled away not one but two restaurants, I cant be assed recounting the others.

The most galling was when one Thai wanted to use our house as a "knocking shop", she couldnt understand why the mrs told her to eff off.

To rgs2001uk - No my wife wasn't selling pussy to get the money for the poker machines. I resent your implication that all Thai girls married to foreigners sell pussy at the first opportunity to get extra money.

I sent you a PM on this I hope you receive it ok. [i'm not really sure how to send PM's] She never gambled in Thailand.

My wife worked a number of restaurant and cleaning jobs over many years. Sometimes working 60 hours per week. She was influenced by the other Asians she worked with.. Some people get hooked and she was one of those that did. She also accessed our joint bank account and credit cards before I put a stop to that avenue of funds.

As much as she earned was as much as she'd spend and because she was working she could get multiple credits cards. These were always maxed out and I stupidly from time to time would pay them down to zero only to be maxed out again. This behaviour went on for many years. I didn't want to throw her out on the street. I tried again and again to get her to stop without success. I won't bore you with the problems it caused, but there many.

In any form of addiction you have to be in the gutter before you truly want to change and get help. She's still working through her demons of addiction to poker machines but without me as a source of cash.

Johnny, PM rxd, will reply by PM.

Please read what i wrote,

some of these mia farang

"I resent your implication that all Thai girls married to foreigners sell pussy at the first opportunity to get extra money."

I never mentioned all Thai girls selling pussy, I said SOME.

I have had posts deleted, perhaps they were too close too the bone, I dont know, perhaps for others they made unpleasant reading, I dont know.

However please dont try and sweep this under the carpet.

Forum rules prevent me from naming the people involved and rightly so.

She was influenced by the other Asians she worked with.

Aint that the truth.

I have mentioned I will reply by PM, but lets cut to the chase here, influenced by other Thais wouldnt be too far off the mark.

No offence meant, to either you or your family, but believe many, there are many dont even know this problem exists.

<deleted>, one sap told me it was his wifes hobby.

[smokie36]

Her horticultural activities have been a bit of a gamble....but lately she appears to have been quite successful.

[MAJIC]

The Classic excuse for an Addicted Gambler is: we are only playing cards for small money. Which of course sooner or later rises to large amounts,which is the nature of gambling. The same as any form of Gambling,starts as small stakes,and escalates by chasing losses. Don't believe anyone who says: "I only play for fun"

[Sicarius]

My wife doesn't even play the lottery. At family gatherings she isn't very interested in the cardgame, altough occasionally she will join in. The game is only 5 or 10 baht per hand though.

I am however a professional gambler, luckily she and our families don't mind.

[David48]

Her horticultural activities have been a bit of a gamble....but lately she appears to have been quite successful.

Hey ... isn't that your job to water the pot plants on the balcony ... or have you delegated that task also?

.

[smokie36]

Her horticultural activities have been a bit of a gamble....but lately she appears to have been quite successful.

Hey ... isn't that your job to water the pot plants on the balcony ... or have you delegated that task also?

.

I am only responsible for my own hydration David thanks!