Parenting Styles

[Forethat]

Due to the recent and rather lengthy discussion about parenting, here is a small poll. I am actually interested in what the average opinion in this matter is.

I have the poll anonymous.

[FiftyTwo]

I can't vote as I don't know what q3 means.

[Forethat]

I can't vote as I don't know what q3 means.

There is a "I dont know alternative" on Q3

[beachproperty]

"I fail to recognize any relevancy of this the Poll" ...Its been done. People's opinions are in ....the first question you pose is TOO LIMITED and are not based on anything other than a time factor .........The second question you pose is TOO BROAD (Too wide in Scope) and the 3rd question is to TOO VAGUE......Good try though....

[Forethat]

I am a little surprised by the result so far, I almost expected the average TV-member to have a different opinion that what is reflected.

[Showbags]

The third questions sucks.

And parenting styles vary as chalk to cheese, cannot be analysed in a vague 3 question poll.

[Forethat]

The third questions sucks.

And parenting styles vary as chalk to cheese, cannot be analysed in a vague 3 question poll.

Totally agree. I actually pointed out exactly that in a post that was removed for unknown reason.

In that post I explained that this can hardly be used to scan an opinion, but I created it just to get a flavour.

[kikoman]

You sure hate to be proven wrong,

Why not post question that do not include all of your own points,

Afraid or Not willing to take a plain (Yes) or (No) option

How about posting an unbiased poll, and please with out you added Flavor!

I also can not in full conscious vote for such a bias and loaded poll.

Where to outcome is predetermined!

Cheers:

[Forethat]

How about posting an unbiased poll, and please with out you added Flavor!

I also can not in full conscious vote for such a bias and loaded poll.

Where, in your opinion, is the POLL biased?

[David48]

Can I come back to the question is about 15 years?

Otherwise, I'd be guessing ... speculating ... and we don't want that!

[kikoman]

I changed my mind about Voting and selected the following options (closer than not to the Truth and voted!

1-That I would lock out

2- No I never make mistakes.

3- Did not vote on this item (Do not understand what the question is asking)

Voted and this sign came up "Oops you already voted", when I clearly did not, your poll only accepts yes vote!

Please explain why did this happen!

Would that be a fair explanation of a Biased poll ?

Cheers:

[beachproperty]

How about posting an unbiased poll, and please with out you added Flavor!

I also can not in full conscious vote for such a bias and loaded poll.

Where, in your opinion, is the POLL biased?

Guessing your choosing to be blind to post #4....wherein the bias is shown....NOW your being biased in choosing to ignore it.....

AND I'll explain why .in detail because I know your response will be with a definition of Bias....and that I know nothing....your typical response

An example should help you....

Say you took a poll and asked the question ................Would you Kill someone? An extremely high portion of people would answer NO.....but you left out the variables as you did in this post.

A variable in the Kill post might be ..........................Would you Kill someone if you were in a War? Obviously a different response ratio.....

Or another might be ..............................................Would you Kill someone if they broke into your house and threatened your family? Again a different response ratio....

So you see (no I guess YOU wouldn't ...so this is for the benefit all the other TV posters) The bias is in the question itself ....and post #4 explains WHY;;;;

IMHO

[benalibina]

All this proves that FACE is not a THAI THING. It has no nationality.

[kikoman]

I believe the questions are biased in the context of divide and conquer, you instead of a Yes or No, Agree or Disagree, Up or Down,

You follow the line of thought to add all of these other options, that would distort the outcome of a fair poll.

Just because I disagree with your position , I am not allowed to vote in this farce of a poll!

Why bother asking for peoples opinions and just state your opinion received the most votes!

Are you going to deny me a right to vote!

Cheers:

[kikoman]

Am I to be denied a basis right to vote my opinion?

Why have you failed to explain , what in your poll denied me my right to an opinion in the form of a right to express that opinion with a vote?

[johnmarhall]

this is a simple poll why people arguing for

[kikoman]

Forethat,

As this is your thread, if you want to publicly deny me the right to express my opinion by having the right to vote!

When I place in my choices as stated on Post #11, your system stated I had already voted, Which I have not.

I have waited politely and patiently since 8:38 PM it is now 12:00 midnight and you have failed to respond.

If you deny me the right to vote admit it, that will be my answer that this "POLL" is nothing but your attempt to save face and is intended to be a biased Poll.

By denying me the right to express my opinion in Your poll, you admit your poll was not intended to be fair as the outcome has all ready been predetermined!

Just admit it, or allow me the right to vote!

Cheers:

[Rooo]

Let me point something out .Polls can't be rigged or not allow certain people not to vote.

If you have voted & you changed your mind, you can't simply delete the vote & start again.

So can we stop with the accusations please.

[Sattphalat]

I have done all the mistakes possible to do. Stepfather of two.turn out great. Now both grown up ( 20 and 27) doing fine.3grandkids. Everyone in a happy family now.

[nzvic]

Results show commensense prevails...good eh?

[kikoman]

Let me point something out .Polls can't be rigged or not allow certain people not to vote.

If you have voted & you changed your mind, you can't simply delete the vote & start again.

So can we stop with the accusations please.

I never voted, I came on to the thread looked at the poll, and decided not to vote, posted that and signed off.

I change my mind about not voting, and decided to vote (at no time did I vote prior to this attempt) after I voted for point 1 and 2, did not understand point 3 and did not vote on that issue, I attempted to vote my choices and the Message came up "Oops you already voted" which I clearly did not do.

I informed the OP of that on my post #8, at 8:38 PM the post received no response I posted post #11, I followed up with my last post at 12:10 midnight, 3 1/2 hours later and still no response.

All I asked for is how I could get my right to vote, the OP needed to simply respond to that request. The information you stated would have been informative enough to allow me to vote on my opinion and there would have been no need for any accusations, As I have not voted I do not know how to be able to delete a vote I never voted. if possible please inform me how!

Thank you!

[johnmarhall]

Read all the posts.What I can see is this poll is right and there are only some others who think they are right from previous thread. My opinion only

[zeichen]

I do think that you should have spent more time with the questions. It seems to troll off the other topic instead of trying to actually evaluate parenting styles.

I love how Beach always writes "IMHO"

There is nothing humble about you. You come across as a self righteous know it all.

So please change IMAO (arrogant opinion)

As to the specific questions that are asked, the questions don't deal with the real issues.

Question 1, the actual issue is about forcing consequences for choices. The specific example is the extreme that Beach posted in the other thread. I too think that he didn't handle that well and quite surprised his wife didn't divorce him, however the fundamental basis of his stance are/were well founded.

The other issue is pro-acting. THe problem was bad habits were allowed to exist, and that she have been handled before the child was staying out until 2AM.

Having firm boundaries, strict consequences but in a safe and nurturing environment are essential. The problem with the spare the rod brigade is that they fail to realize that authoritarian parents that rule too strictly without the dialogue of why and just rush into punishment and force consequenes is that inteferes with social development. They are less likely to explore the world of social relationships freely.

2. Every parent makes mistakes. Just like Teaching there are theories but no Laws in parenting. As every child is different they all need to be handled in a case by case situation. There are many parents that think that they way that they were raised was good enough and follow in their parents footsteps. They also tend to not see how bad they are messing up. Most likely our children succeed in spite of us not because of us.

Being firm is acceptable but forcing children to deal with consequences that are extreme do no service.

3. Risk is always possible. It is a delicate balance to protect but not to shelter. We all should want independant, thoughtful children who desire to explore the world around them and develop positive relationships. But how can they do it, if you your only skill is shouting and punishing your children?

I am very grateful that TV posters were not my parents.

[beachproperty]

I do think that you should have spent more time with the questions. It seems to troll off the other topic instead of trying to actually evaluate parenting styles.

I love how Beach always writes "IMHO"

There is nothing humble about you. You come across as a self righteous know it all.

So please change IMAO (arrogant opinion)

As to the specific questions that are asked, the questions don't deal with the real issues.

Question 1, the actual issue is about forcing consequences for choices. The specific example is the extreme that Beach posted in the other thread. I too think that he didn't handle that well and quite surprised his wife didn't divorce him, however the fundamental basis of his stance are/were well founded.

The other issue is pro-acting. THe problem was bad habits were allowed to exist, and that she have been handled before the child was staying out until 2AM.

Having firm boundaries, strict consequences but in a safe and nurturing environment are essential. The problem with the spare the rod brigade is that they fail to realize that authoritarian parents that rule too strictly without the dialogue of why and just rush into punishment and force consequenes is that inteferes with social development. They are less likely to explore the world of social relationships freely.

2. Every parent makes mistakes. Just like Teaching there are theories but no Laws in parenting. As every child is different they all need to be handled in a case by case situation. There are many parents that think that they way that they were raised was good enough and follow in their parents footsteps. They also tend to not see how bad they are messing up. Most likely our children succeed in spite of us not because of us.

Being firm is acceptable but forcing children to deal with consequences that are extreme do no service.

3. Risk is always possible. It is a delicate balance to protect but not to shelter. We all should want independant, thoughtful children who desire to explore the world around them and develop positive relationships. But how can they do it, if you your only skill is shouting and punishing your children?

I am very grateful that TV posters were not my parents.

IMAO....Well thought out post...

Not sure how you come to the conclusion that I am arrogant....but that's your opinion ....and as such your entitled to it....Maybe we should take a Poll?

Cheers....

[chuckd]

The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

[Forethat]

The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

I posted a comprehensive reply to Beachproperty and kikoman in one of the other threads where they hinted that only people in this exact situation should be considered knowledgable; all other opinions were useless because the posters didn't know what they were talking about.

I believe modern epistemology is quite clear on whether experience is required or not. John Locke would have agreed with you, but he passed away 1704 as one of the first (and last) proponents of your view above. But you're of course allowed to an opinion; it's as good as mine, or Locke's.

In a modern world isn't it rather shocking to notice how individuals treat there peers, when a couple of searches on the internet could have enlightened them.

In that post I mentioned I included links to authors, research and definitions and provided proper citation.

The post was removed for being "irrelevant", so I'll learn from my mistake and stop making irrelevant posts where some useful information is actually generated and shared with others.

HOWEVER, and here i'm dead serious:

This thread could be the best example I've ever seen that Kant's theories are spot on; He was proponent of a view that people be given the freedom to use their own intellect in order to acquire the experience required, and then enlighten themselves. He could be right.

Perhaps it is time to abolish TV-paternalism (when TV-posters tell others how and what to do)...

[kevvy]

The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

so what was your real vote .some people might not have children but they might have nieces or nephews and they would have some idea how to raise children dont you think or be babysitters.as many people hire babysitters to look after their children who dont have children themselves

[David48]

... (He) was proponent of a view that people be given the freedom to use their own intellect in order to acquire the experience required, and then enlighten themselves. He could be right.

Perhaps it is time to abolish TV-paternalism (when TV-posters tell others how and what to do)...

Some wise words there young man ...

.

[Showbags]

The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

so what was your real vote .some people might not have children but they might have nieces or nephews and they would have some idea how to raise children dont you think or be babysitters.as many people hire babysitters to look after their children who dont have children themselves

Visiting nieces and nephews, even having them over for the weekend and the odd babysitting job....does not make an experienced parent.

Just wait till you have them 24/7/365 for a few years and then you can call yourself experienced somewhat.

But then, it all changes year on year, new problems, new issues. Most parents that have more than one kid can use the experience of the first one when the second or third reach same ages....but guess what, those same parents with a now 16yo, well its the first time they have ever had a 16yo and they gunna learn plenty still.

[chuckd]

The poll I would like to see is how many of the posters telling others how to raise their children actually has or had children and tried to raise them.

Then the opinions might possibly have some impact.

I voted the same way as kikoman just to see if the vote was counted. I guess it was.

so what was your real vote .some people might not have children but they might have nieces or nephews and they would have some idea how to raise children dont you think or be babysitters.as many people hire babysitters to look after their children who dont have children themselves

Some people believe what they learn from a psychology book is much more important that what the real world teaches someone. I don't happen to believe that theory out performs experience.

I helped raise two when I was in the US, another child as a single parent from her age of 6...she is now 21. I am now helping my current wife with raising a 15 year old boy.

My two in the US are doing fine. The son has a family and owns a very profitable business in the South and my daughter is married to a recently retired US MIlitary officer with three grown girls, all attending college.

The daughter I raised alone is living in the home in Pattaya I bought for her and is working full time for a real estate development company and attending classes to further her education.

The 15 year old just had the procedure of "grounding" explained to him last night after a little stunt he pulled.

Since this thread is based on the thread about locking a daughter out of the house, I would suggest, since nobody on this forum knows beachparty, his daughter or her mother, anything we might advise would be purely speculative and, frankly speaking, not worth a warm bucket of spit.

Hence, my opinion about how beachparty handled this particular and uniquely individual situation doesn't matter...nor does the opinion of anybody else that wasn't personally involved in it.

Beachparty's method worked in this particular situation. End of story.

PS: Forethat, I presume you are saying, by the way you responded to my earlier post, that everything you know was learned from a book and you never raised or helped raise any children. Tell us otherwise and I will happily admit my presumption is a mistake.

Cheers.