What would you do 2

[Thongkorn]

, I have not been on here for a while mainly because of the vipers pit it is, Again I will lay myself open to criticism.

Here goes. all I seem to see is men whining about there lost love and the way they are treat by there Thai wife's/Girlfriends.

well here are a few in revers, how English men I know treat there Thai wife's.

shall we call them cases, I will try and keep them short, and I will not Name names, maybe they will recognise themselves, or maybe not.

Case 1 - Man meets Thai girl marries her brings her back to the UK, He wants to live the so called Dream. leave his wife in the UK to go set up Business in .

Thailand While there he meets a Gik, has a baby and lives with her. Meanwhile the faithful wife stays in the UK, Telling all the other Thai lady's how good her

husband is. Thai people are not stupid and have family's. they talk. He has made her look a fool, now she has just withdrawn from every thing and every

body. Thai people call it loss of face.

Case 2- Man meets girl in Thailand, marries her Brings her back to the UK ,

After a few months things are not so rosy, So after a few arguments starts to knock her about, He will not let her go out alone, even to the point of putting gps

on her phone so he knows where she is. at all times. He leaves her in the UK while he has a two/three week break, in Pattaya. he is now back after his

refreshing break . But has told his Wife that he wants to send her home. (friend of case 1)

Case 3- Man meets girl in Thailand, marries her brings her to the UK, forgets to tell her, he has 3 previous wife's and 5 children, and he has to pay maintenance, for his

children, He too will not let her go out or have a life, or friends. She goes to work Mon to Fri, works 6 am till 5. He will not take a better paid job because it

would mean leavening her alone a few days while he works away. She has to give her wages to him, to support his children while hers is left back in Thailand

He loves her so much he has just gambled there savings £6000 away.

case 4- Man meets Thai girl marries her, brings her back to the UK, with her 12 year old daughter, Now has his own daughter to his Thai wife, Now he disowns the

the daughter of his wife, constantly telling her to go back to Thailand because she is not his real daughter. Which understandably causes friction, and heated

arguments and now is hitting his Thai wife.

I know none of these are my business, But all are friends of my wife, It pi.. me off to see how hard done to some men think they are done to by Thai women.

Well here is a view from the opposite side. How These Thai women are treat by there husbands, its a crying shame because all are very attractive lady's,

and totally trustworthy.

What constructive advice would you give to any of them, and how long do you stand by and not offer any help. even though they are asking.

I have kept out of it for a long while, I know its not my business. but now it is playing on my conscience.

Edited November 7, 2013 by Thongkorn

[benalibina]

Your wife is not lucky at picking friends.

She must be happy that you are rocksolid.

Well done. Good man.

[mogandave]

You first...

[Skint]

Nothing stopping these girls going to the pigs where unlike Thailand something can be done nobody likes a wife beater Or going back to Thailand unless of course they are sticking it out for the passport and all the lovely benefits.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[MAJIC]

By the law of averages four of your wife's friends could not be that unlucky.Don't believe everything you hear!

[David48]

.

Maybe the OP is a Solicitor with, what seems like a very heavy 'case' load ...

.

[mauGR1]

Not so long ago i used to trust people much more than i do now.

At the moment i try to look at both sides of the coin, so to speak.

It could be interesting to hear the other side of the sob stories.

[telldem]

Karma

[Loptr]

The common thread in the OP's post is the UK. Simply avoid the place and everything is copacetic.

[crumpled]

And how many good relationships do friends of your Thai wife have? Or are they all battered beaten and bruised physically and or mentally?

Seems odd that 4/4 are so badly treated.

[Neeranam]

I have been to the UK with my wife a few times and met some other Thai Scottishcouples. Nothing else in common with the guys.

My wife isn't interested either. Some sad cases.

"How did these people end up together?", I often wonder although it's pretty obvious.

Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived in Thailand for at least 3 years.

[jackr]

It happens all over the world and blokes hitting women is pathetic, but for every 'lady' having a rough time in your stories (I bet they're getting plenty of coin home to momma), you can bet your bottom dollar with the tables turned it is upwards of 100-fold in this neck of the woods. Have you come across any of the stories where the Thai wives have their decent farang husbands killed and barbecued, hacked up, taken into the woods and shot? And the propensity for the guy being taken to the cleaners here is just not funny. Neither wrong is right on either shore, but I think you lean toward mawkishness as to their plight and overlook the other.

[benalibina]

I have been to the UK with my wife a few times and met some other Thai Scottishcouples. Nothing else in common with the guys.

My wife isn't interested either. Some sad cases.

"How did these people end up together?", I often wonder although it's pretty obvious.

Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived in Thailand for at least 3 years.

I wish you told me before. Do holidays before count as well ?

[kannot]

The common thread in the OP's post is the UK. Simply avoid the place and everything is copacetic.

I know a Uk man who came to Thailand married a local girl she had twins he then humps a bar girl runs off and leaves her with the two kids, pays no maintenance and has another kid with the bargirl.......he had a kid in the Uk before he left too, teaches in a good school.

Anyone can be a pig if they want to be.

[johnmarhall]

farang bashing great to see for once well done OP Most farangs think they are the best i too know of a man who bash his wive or put her though mental torment and he posts on here as well

[NoshowJones]

farang bashing great to see for once well done OP Most farangs think they are the best i too know of a man who bash his wive or put her though mental torment and he posts on here as well

I would think that for the four cases mentioned by the OP, there would be another ten who have good loving marriages.

[cpofc]

20 years of marriage to a Thai in Australia, dating from 1985. There were not alot of Thais around (in Melbourne) back in those days. So everyone knew each other. Also owning and Managing Thai Restaurants during this period where many of the new girls coming in from the LOS would come for work. If their husbands let them. The floodgates opened in the late 70s, Farangs were marrying Filippinas mostly, Mail Order Brides etc., a phenomenon that commenced in the late 70's. Businesses were bulit on the back of it. Some pretty ordinary stories from that era, including even murder. That's when Australia had to start changing and tightening up of the immigration laws and rules. Even bringing in the little known '3 Strike Rule'.

My wife, has been in OZ for almost 30 years now and is middle aged, as those of you who know Thai Culture will understand' she became a 'God mother', friend, confidant, Yai, to many girls over that time.

The stories the OP writes about I have little problem believing. I could tell you a few myself. Saw alot.

[johnmarhall]

farang bashing great to see for once well done OP Most farangs think they are the best i too know of a man who bash his wive or put her though mental torment and he posts on here as well

I would think that for the four cases mentioned by the OP, there would be another ten who have good loving marriages.

there are properly 100's i know i have one and i am sure you do to he was saying he knows of 4 and i am sure he knows good ones as well but just wanted to share his views on the bad ones which he feels for

[NeverSure]

I have been to the UK with my wife a few times and met some other Thai Scottishcouples. Nothing else in common with the guys.

My wife isn't interested either. Some sad cases.

"How did these people end up together?", I often wonder although it's pretty obvious.

Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived in Thailand for at least 3 years.

"Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived in Thailand for at least 3 300 years."

Seriously. The cultures are so different, not to mention some language barrier for most, it's really hard for both people to make a good and informed choice and then make it work. It happens, but I'm not up for the odds.

Cheers

[salapaday]

Wow, me and my wife and daughter just seem so boring and normal after reading of the average Westerner/Thai relationship you see on here.

[dao16]

I have seen it abroad....one guy in particular. He had a Thai gf, but still hadn't divorced his first wife from some other country. He gave her a lot of $ every month, and then used that to control her. So, she was constantly threatened with being cut off and sent back to Thailand. (I don't think he was physically abusing her...just mentally).

In the end, it seems like they were a perfect match--she liked her cage with lots of $ in it and he liked putting money in the cage and having the key. Disgusting relationship in my eyes....but hey....it ain't my life.

[HardenedSoul]

There's a simple solution to these womens' problems and it involves a one-way flight.

[CharlieH]

From what I have seen and heard in the UK, part if not alot of the problem is the wives finding or actively seeking other Thai women for friends etc, then the "keeping up with the joneses" kicks in, pressure is put on the husbands because comparisons are constantly being made and one wants to out do the other, which is so typically Thai, I a sure you have all witnessed that to one degree or another. Even here in Thailand I have heard and read on this forum of expats steering clear of friendships with other expats for exactly this reason.

My own answer to this was dont take the flower out of the garden, what once was beautiful, will wither and die. You can transplant for periods but you know where it belongs to thrive.

If you look at the OP, they are all friends of his wife, all one group, all have problems, how much comparison is going on there as an example. How many had problems BEFORE they were a group.

Edited November 8, 2013 by CharlieH

[Thai at Heart]

I have been to the UK with my wife a few times and met some other Thai Scottishcouples. Nothing else in common with the guys.

My wife isn't interested either. Some sad cases.

"How did these people end up together?", I often wonder although it's pretty obvious.

Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived in Thailand for at least 3 years.

Now that last line is some dam good advice.

[Neeranam]

I have been to the UK with my wife a few times and met some other Thai Scottishcouples. Nothing else in common with the guys.

My wife isn't interested either. Some sad cases.

"How did these people end up together?", I often wonder although it's pretty obvious.

Never marry a Thai woman unless you've lived in Thailand for at least 3 years.

Now that last line is some dam good advice.

It's one of my strongest opinions after seeing so many relationships fail.

The other one is never buy/build a house in her name until you've been married for 5 years.

[mic59]

I have been to many restaurants and guesthouses in various cities where the husband will sit around and read the paper, totally ignoring his wife and not even doing such simple tasks as getting a drink out of the fridge.

[gabruce]

I think the moral of the story is clear. Thai women should never marry and go to the UK. Other countries, maybe. UK husbands belong in Thailand only!

[Rumblecat]

There's a weird thing I've seen British people do which is to take their thai girlfriends home to the UK, and then take them round museums. Specifically military or transport museums. Because, as we all as know, that's what most girls, especially thai girls, are interested in. It's odd. I don't quite get it. I'd have said it was an English thing but it happened to this old Scottish fella I know as well. Takes a girl home. Within a month she's seen the Museum of Transport and some place where they keep old airplanes.

I'm not saying it's good or bad, it's just a thing... y'know? A thing.

edited for spelling

Edited November 8, 2013 by Rumblecat

[playbgnow]

I'd like to hear how women would reply to this topic.

[i claudius]

I came to Thailand ,rogered everything female with a pulse ,started a buisness after 3/4 years met my now wife ,she came to the UK we had a son ,after 20 very happy years we live back in Thailand ,our son is in UNI . we are still happy and i just got a phone call to say he is on his way home for the weekend ,aint life great?