Why do Thais watch me and gossip so much?

[Tmymaimee]

I live just off a busy Soi in Thonglor. Last week I brought a female guest over mid day for a few hours. One of the restaurant shop workers just had to mention it to my girlfriend the next day.

Honestly, do these people lead such shallow lives that they feel compelled to observe and report on who I bring to my house? I don't sit outside their crappy little restaurant / street stalls and look at who they associate with. I simply couldn't care less about their shallow lives.

Why the intense interest in what I do?

Not to mention the first day of moving here, one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent. I basically told her in clear words to mind her own business. I don't care how much she pays for rent; why would she care how much I pay?

Now that I speak Thai, everywhere I listen (elevators, street corners, etc.) I hear Thai people gossip. Do they honestly not have anything better to do with their lives?

[CharlieH]

Different people, different culture, different attitudes to many things. Wouldnt life be boring if we all lived and did exactly the same thing.

Thailand is different for many reasons, thats why we love it, thats why many have chosen to call it home.

Dont judge, just enjoy and if the small things are so upsetting for you then maybe you have bigger things to be concerned about.

Edited December 15, 2013 by CharlieH

[lemoncake]

May be they are CIA or KGB or MI6 agents, be careful what you post, they might be monitoring your computer as well

Edited December 15, 2013 by lemoncake

[i claudius]

Why do you care? just get on with your life.

[Tmymaimee]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

[Heng]

Just as long you don't complain why no one told you that he wasn't just her brother, or that she was a VIP member at the local casino, or that she has already sold your house that you are still living in, etc.

[i claudius]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Not that i do ,but to be honest if i was taking a hooker out i would have more respect than to bring her to the home i share with my wife or girlfriend ,to add to that i would never ever bring a hooker to my home as you do not know what they may do later.

[besth]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

You just gave yourself the solution.

[NeverSure]

If you don't like it, why don't you just return to your home country?

HAAA! First in with that one.

[FiftyTwo]

WHY?

Because, in Thailand, you don't take unaccompanied girls back to where you live.

If you do, they will talk about it until you move somewhere else.

Every girlfriend you ever have will be informed, the moment they speak to a local.

"watch out, this guy brings girls home"

PS

Love hotels usually charge 130bht/hr.

Edited December 15, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[lemoncake]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

You have a live in gf, but you bring a short time girl and you wonder why they told her?

May be because they want to warn her of how smart you are

Do not think i ever met anyone who naturally spoke good enough Thai, had ears the size of an elephant to hear what is being said and yet still bring short time bar girl into home when have live in gf.

[Tywais]

"one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent"

Nothing new about those type of questions, happens often. First encountered it many years ago when I bought a car. Often get 'how much?' questions. Felt the same way then as you and not their business. But realized it is a cultural thing and just tell them something like 'too much' or 'cheap' without going into details. That satisfies them it seems or at least stops them from further querying. Even my house rent, keep getting asked how much I pay. But to be fair, get the same question from foreigners. But in their case, it is for a valid reason usually and to compare prices.

[kingstonkid]

Whereustay

As to them telling your gf that you had another woman over I actually applaud them for doing that. They are looking after her in case you are a farang that wants to play the field.

Your problems are not Thailand related. There are something tht happens all over the world. Including and especially US, UK and Canada.

Do you not think that your neighbors back home would tell your gf if you brought another girl home when she was not there. Better yet would you be upset if your neighbours back home saw her bring a guy home and did not tell you?

As to the gossip i guess you have not worked in any large people organizations gossip is gossip and it is strong worldwide.

Everyone has an opinion and they will share them. Do you not think a few guys getting together over a beer and talking about someone is not gossip. how about the old water cooler.

Sorry mate there is nothing Thai about your problem you just have not been seeing it before it has been all around you.

BTW Asking about your rent is a way to start a conversation with you.

[jackr]

Something like 70-80% of the spoken word is gossip, Thailand likely being more like 99%. However, you did kind of ask for it, bringing home a tart when you've go a missus. They're just looking out for their own. As an side, locals asking what one earns or pays for accommodation tends to have more to do with where to place you in the social hierarchy.

[Tchooptip]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Not that i do ,but to be honest if i was taking a hooker out i would have more respect than to bring her to the home i share with my wife or girlfriend ,to add to that i would never ever bring a hooker to my home as you do not know what they may do later.

Obvious...

[orpheus454]

OP, haven't you got something better to do than come in here and gossip about the Thai people around you...?

[JLCrab]

When the Thai folks ask "Do I have a Thai wife or a girlfriend?" I just answer "Both!" and leave them to ponder.

[krisb]

Seriously, how much rent do you pay?

[FiftyTwo]

When the Thai folks ask "Do I have a Thai wife or a girlfriend?" I just answer "Both!" and leave them to ponder.

This combined with the rent question is cleverly designed to see if you have enough spare cash to make it worthwhile for them to offer you their daughter/sister/wife as a bed partner.

[thehelmsman]

So tell us your girlfriend's reaction to the news of your new friend..... Come on it's all in good fun.

[SOMeTOM]

"Do they honestly not have anything better to do with their lives?"

That's it, you see, you already have an answer to your question.

It doesn't matter what you do, but many (tooooo many) locals would just not have anything else better to do or possibly think by theirselfs.

This also applies to other aspects of this society, as for example seeing the staff of a government hospital always busy in doing whatever activity, as dancing in funny costumes, outdoor exercising, you name it!.....instead of maybe sending them to a training program to let them become better in their profession, or just taking care of the hundreds (hundreds!) of people waiting to be visited by some personnel.....which are busy outside dancing.

Don't worry, with the time passing by, you will get used to it and truly understand the local "culture"....

[JSixpack]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

Not that i do ,but to be honest if i was taking a hooker out i would have more respect than to bring her to the home i share with my wife or girlfriend ,to add to that i would never ever bring a hooker to my home as you do not know what they may do later.

But then there's the case when you need to bring her to the home you share with your wife or girlfriend to share her with your wife or girlfriend.

[JSixpack]

Not to mention the first day of moving here, one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent. I basically told her in clear words to mind her own business.

That was quite rude of you when you might have had a pleasant interaction w/ the worker.

It's standard Asian culture to ask you how much you pay for things. Even Japanese, most polite people in the world, do that. They're shocked when you tell them that back in the West it'd be bad manners.

You must be Fresh Off The Boat w/ much to learn. Chill and learn w/o all the provincial righteousness.

[eeeya]

I think you just brought your social status down a few levels

[ThaidDown]

To the OP.... did you try the ' it's not what you think, she is my sister, really she is' approach ? If so was it believed ?

[Showbags]

Shop owner wanted to know how much you rent her for so he could see if he could be in with a chance....

[uptheos]

OP: "Now that I speak Thai, everywhere I listen (elevators, street corners, etc.) I hear Thai people gossip".

Maybe you have learned a few words and when you hear them you think that you're important enough to be gossiped about?

Or,.......... just maybe........it's possible......., it has been known........you could be a bit paranoid.

[SOMeTOM]

I think you just brought your social status down a few levels

Compared to whom? Maybe the people he mentioned in the story??

Ahhh ahhha sometime you guys really make me laugh me so hard, thanks

[kingstonkid]

When the Thai folks ask "Do I have a Thai wife or a girlfriend?" I just answer "Both!" and leave them to ponder.

Chai.

[HeavyDrinker]

Love hotels usually charge 130bht/hr.

Incredible Thai Visa ability to read between the lines here and jump to wild conclusions is on display. The OP said "a female guest" not a hooker....could have been a colleague or a friend. Wow, some of you chaps tar everyone with the brushes you must be tarred with....or assume everyone lives as you do.

If it's any consolation OP, Thais (especially the blokes) find gossip as annoying as anyone. Sometimes a neighbour of mine will give me a lift down to Bang Na and he just rants all the way every time he sees a gaggle of women just sitting shooting the breeze....

The bottom line is that many here lead tedious lives and a good gas with Betty from down the Som Tam stall is the highspot of the day. and who better to gossip about than the person who can't understand a word of it, nor has the tools nor standing to refute any ludicrous claims made about them. Some of the more cynical membership will tell you that a good reason NOT to learn Thai is so you can't understand the gossip.

I suppose if you live the virtuous lives so many here think they do (no bars, no booze, no dollies, be in bed (alone) with a good book by 8 pm every night, off to temple at 6am every morning and wear a tuxedo for even the shortest nip to 7-11) you'll be fine...