Remarrying

[Deserted]

Hi all, my ex-wife and I divorced in May, its a little complicated so I can't go into the details but mostly it was due to pressure from certain family members. Anyway, we have a child and have continued to live together without any problems but a job opportunity has come out of nowhere. The problem is that obtaining a visa for my now ex-wife is very difficult. If we were still married, there would be no problem at all, so we are considering doing it again to make life easier.

I am British and my wife is Thai, we don't have the original marriage certificate as that was taken back but the divorce court we went to didn't give us any papers either, they just took the certificate away and registered the whole affair on their computer system.

How difficult and long does it take to remarry? Are there any steps involved that weren't involved in our first marriage? I would be grateful if someone could inform me about this.

[Mario2008]

It is the same procedure as your first marriage, but now you add details about your divorce.

The court should give you a court decission about the divorce, you go to the amphur with the decission and the marriage certificate and the divorce is registered at the amphur. You now get a divorce certificate, which you need when you remary.

Never heard of people giving their marriage certificates to the court. Perhaps you mean you got a divorce by mutual consent at the amphur, they should have given a divorce certificate.

How long it takes depends on how long it takes for you to get all the paperwork together again.

[prakhonchai nick]

Another case of interfering families.

If your kid is old enough to strike out on their own, then let them get on with it!

[juggernaut]

It is the same procedure as your first marriage, but now you add details about your divorce.

The court should give you a court decission about the divorce, you go to the amphur with the decission and the marriage certificate and the divorce is registered at the amphur. You now get a divorce certificate, which you need when you remary.

Never heard of people giving their marriage certificates to the court. Perhaps you mean you got a divorce by mutual consent at the amphur, they should have given a divorce certificate.

How long it takes depends on how long it takes for you to get all the paperwork together again.

It appears, although it is not clear, that the OP may be residing in another country to Thailand. I think your answer relates to if the marriage and divorce was registered in Thailand. If OP was to include a little more information as to where marriage and divorce were registered, they may get some helpful replies.

[Mario2008]

1 "funny" comment removed.

It seems to me the OP is in Thailand and wants to re-marry to get his ex-wife and child over to the UK.

[misterphil]

You divorced her for a reason. Have a real good long think about why you divorced her and think do you really want to go through that again? Would I remarry my ex Thai wife? Hell no, youd have more chance getting a pork chop into a mosque.

[Tywais]

The law states you can not remarry until 310 days after a divorce. Not sure if that still applies with a re-marry.

//edit - ok, read the rest of the statute and doesn't apply for re-marry.

Section 1453: 'In case of the woman whose husband died or whose marriage has become terminated, the marriage can only take place if not less than three hundred and ten days have elapsed since the termination of her previous marriage; unless:

1. a child has been born during such period;
2. the divorced couple remarry;
3. there is a certificate issued by a qualified doctor who is a lawful physical practitioner in medicine showing that the woman is not pregnant;
4. there is an order of the Court allowing the woman to marry.

[MB1]

1 "funny" comment removed.

It seems to me the OP is in Thailand and wants to re-marry to get his ex-wife and child over to the UK.

It seems to me that if the marriage didn't work the first time in Thailand what makes him think that the marriage will work a second time in the UK....Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and except the fact...

Saying that maybe it will work out, who knows, and when a child is loved and involved and the absence of the Thai family not being in the UK, then maybe it has a chance of working out...It's a conundrum allright but whatever you choose OP, I hope it's the right decision...Good luck..

[NanLaew]

Looks like it's fairly straightforward then.

Would the OP consider re-marrying his ex-wife if the job offer had not come up?

A friend of mine got married so that he could enjoy better perks on an overseas assignment. It was never meant to be, ended in a bitter divorce. There was a child as well.

[shaurene]

Obviously you got married at the mar age office in your area, why not go back there and ask them to check your details, if they have no record of your divorce from the court ask for a copy. If they have record of your divorce explain to them the reason you divorced and tell them you did it to please the family but you are still in love and still living together and want to marry again and see what happens.

[Deserted]

Ok so to clarify, we got divorced at an office that required less documentation in Thoburi. I did not have to show proof of who I was.They just took the marriage certificate away and didn't give a divorce certificate. It was near the mall bang kae, that's all I remember. It was a government office. We are both in Thailand and have been offered positions in the UAE but being unmarried complicates matters greatly. If we relocate as a separated couple we need to go through many more steps.

The marriage has worked throughout, its more an interfering mother wanting a Chinese husband that has caused the problems. nyway I don't want to go into that, it is our son's future that we are trying to build for and neither of us wants to knock back a good opportunity.

[Mario2008]

Off topic posts removed.

The OP is not asking for marriage councelling.

[bbbbooboo]

Remarry your ex-wife? I've heard some things in my time but this takes the cake. Wouldn't it be easier and less painless to jump off a cliff?

[Rumblecat]

Remarry your ex-wife? I've heard some things in my time but this takes the cake. Wouldn't it be easier and less painless to jump off a cliff?

Yeah, honestly, I don't think he's interested in people's opinions on what he's doing (and it does sound like the situation was particularly painful to start with seeing as they've continued as a couple living together). I think he's just after technical advice.

[DeeMockMark]

Obviously you got married at the mar age office in your area, why not go back there and ask them to check your details, if they have no record of your divorce from the court ask for a copy. If they have record of your divorce explain to them the reason you divorced and tell them you did it to please the family but you are still in love and still living together and want to marry again and see what happens.

Give it a try. Good luck.

[DeeMockMark]

Ok so to clarify, we got divorced at an office that required less documentation in Thoburi. I did not have to show proof of who I was.They just took the marriage certificate away and didn't give a divorce certificate. It was near the mall bang kae, that's all I remember. It was a government office. We are both in Thailand and have been offered positions in the UAE but being unmarried complicates matters greatly. If we relocate as a separated couple we need to go through many more steps.

The marriage has worked throughout, its more an interfering mother wanting a Chinese husband that has caused the problems. nyway I don't want to go into that, it is our son's future that we are trying to build for and neither of us wants to knock back a good opportunity.

[/quote

Go for it. Being away from the problem.... The Mother-law will help. If it is working in all other areas.... Sounds good. Especially for your son.

[captspectre]

Another case of interfering families.

If your kid is old enough to strike out on their own, then let them get on with it!

in western civiliazrtion it is called "glutton for punishment!"

[Deserted]

Thanks, yes its technical advice I need, marriage has always been fine, just overbearing parents pushed me into a situation where I had to keep the peace even though neither my wife nor I wanted to do it. Stupid really.

[BusyB]

This one’s really wormed its way into my brain. I’ve moved on to other topics, but keep coming back. So here goes:

As one poster said OP is obviously more interested in the technicalities, decisions seem to have been taken already. However that doesn’t mean there can’t be pause for thought. Serious thought.

OP she was willing to divorce you to please her mother because you are not Chinese. You continued to live together. It was probably a good and comfortable arrangement for all parties for the time being. It would have probably ended the day a decent Chinese came along. We have no way of knowing that (including you). But it's certainly the option I'd bet a month's wages on if I had to.

Now re-marriage is on the cards.

Nothing has changed in the situation or persons involved. She is still the same. MIL is still the same. You are not Chinese.

All that’s changed is you both have jobs in UAE.

A job in UAE is a very thin foundation for a marriage – especially one with this history.

When the contracts are over, there will presumably be an awful lot of money sloshing around if it came to divorce. Presumably a lot more than was evident in the previous divorce.

I’m human, I know the tug of love etc., and this time it’ll be different etc. But today that's not a decision I'd take. I've had my experiences.

All the best whatever you do.

[misterphil]

If you want to remarry you need to get an affirmation to marry from the British Embassy, and then have it aprooved by the Ministry of Foreign Affars in Bangkok, but you should know this already if youve been married before. To do this you have to prove you are single and without the divorce paper you cannot. So you need to go the Amphur where you were divorced and get the divorce paper then proceed with the above.

[Frank James]

I heard some comic talking about re-marrying...

You pull a bottle of milk out of the refrigerator and take a swig. Ugghh, it's gone sour. You put it back, thinking, in a few days, that'll be just right!

However:

Good luck this time OP. Don't let anybody but you and she decide what your marriage is.

[Deserted]

This one’s really wormed its way into my brain. I’ve moved on to other topics, but keep coming back. So here goes:

As one poster said OP is obviously more interested in the technicalities, decisions seem to have been taken already. However that doesn’t mean there can’t be pause for thought. Serious thought.

OP she was willing to divorce you to please her mother because you are not Chinese. You continued to live together. It was probably a good and comfortable arrangement for all parties for the time being. It would have probably ended the day a decent Chinese came along. We have no way of knowing that (including you). But it's certainly the option I'd bet a month's wages on if I had to.

Now re-marriage is on the cards.

Nothing has changed in the situation or persons involved. She is still the same. MIL is still the same. You are not Chinese.

All that’s changed is you both have jobs in UAE.

A job in UAE is a very thin foundation for a marriage – especially one with this history.

When the contracts are over, there will presumably be an awful lot of money sloshing around if it came to divorce. Presumably a lot more than was evident in the previous divorce.

I’m human, I know the tug of love etc., and this time it’ll be different etc. But today that's not a decision I'd take. I've had my experiences.

All the best whatever you do.

The problem with this post is that I cannot go into the complexity of the situation, which is why I only wanted the technical information. Like everyone else who has not paid attention to that you are clutching at straws and cannot give an informed judgment.

I don't want to comment onto this thread anymore as this is rapidly becoming pointless.

Should anyone else wish to comment, please refrain from giving your personal opinion because you have have little or no information about it and that is how I prefer to keep it. Please you post technical information. My main concern was to establish which other steps are involved on top of our first marriage, if there are none or none that are problematic then that is fine. Like I said, we haven't even agreed to go down this path yet, it is just being weighed up as an easier option than going via different sponsors, that's all.

[Tywais]

Inflammatory post removed

[teeBeeHee]

No paperwork - you MIGHT never have REALLY been divorced...

[xen]

I can certainly understand the bit about problems with the mother in law .

[penwithcris]

I divorced my Thai wife in June 2012 and remarried her in November 2013. Very simple, just a copy of the decree absolute required by the Registrar. No question of handing over my marriage certificate. As it was I had a certificate in Thai and a true copy in English properly authenticated. Had I been asked to surrender my marriage certificate I would have made sure to retain at least on copy for myself

I think the authority that took away your original marriage certificate acted in a manner beyond their remit. Probably they were trying to emphasise their self importance, as many Thais given authority do, especially when dealing with farangs

[penwithcris]

Ok so to clarify, we got divorced at an office that required less documentation in Thoburi. I did not have to show proof of who I was.They just took the marriage certificate away and didn't give a divorce certificate. It was near the mall bang kae, that's all I remember. It was a government office. We are both in Thailand and have been offered positions in the UAE but being unmarried complicates matters greatly. If we relocate as a separated couple we need to go through many more steps.

The marriage has worked throughout, its more an interfering mother wanting a Chinese husband that has caused the problems. nyway I don't want to go into that, it is our son's future that we are trying to build for and neither of us wants to knock back a good opportunity.

[Mario2008]

Upon divorce the marriage certificate has to be taken in, to be replaced by a divorce certificte. Upon marriage the divorce certificate is handed in and replaced with a marriage certificate.

[penwithcris]

I am amazed that you are so vague about such an important matter as getting divorced. I can usually be sympathetic to any individual who runs into difficulties, but not to have any documentation relating to your divorce and not even being sure of the office you visited smacks of extreme carelessness.

You really need to retrace your steps and return to the office that registered your divorce and there your ex-wife should step up to the plate and get a hard copy of your divorce certificate. You should also ask for the return of your original marriage certificate as it should have had no bearing on you obtaining a divorce

As for all the negative comments regarding remarrying - ignore them. You will both have learned from the mistakes you made when married and you should be much stronger for the experience when you remarry

Very good luck!

[BusyB]

This one’s really wormed its way into my brain. I’ve moved on to other topics, but keep coming back. So here goes:

As one poster said OP is obviously more interested in the technicalities, decisions seem to have been taken already. However that doesn’t mean there can’t be pause for thought. Serious thought.

OP she was willing to divorce you to please her mother because you are not Chinese. You continued to live together. It was probably a good and comfortable arrangement for all parties for the time being. It would have probably ended the day a decent Chinese came along. We have no way of knowing that (including you). But it's certainly the option I'd bet a month's wages on if I had to.

Now re-marriage is on the cards.

Nothing has changed in the situation or persons involved. She is still the same. MIL is still the same. You are not Chinese.

All that’s changed is you both have jobs in UAE.

A job in UAE is a very thin foundation for a marriage – especially one with this history.

When the contracts are over, there will presumably be an awful lot of money sloshing around if it came to divorce. Presumably a lot more than was evident in the previous divorce.

I’m human, I know the tug of love etc., and this time it’ll be different etc. But today that's not a decision I'd take. I've had my experiences.

All the best whatever you do.

The problem with this post is that I cannot go into the complexity of the situation, which is why I only wanted the technical information. Like everyone else who has not paid attention to that you are clutching at straws and cannot give an informed judgment.

I don't want to comment onto this thread anymore as this is rapidly becoming pointless.

Should anyone else wish to comment, please refrain from giving your personal opinion because you have have little or no information about it and that is how I prefer to keep it. Please you post technical information. My main concern was to establish which other steps are involved on top of our first marriage, if there are none or none that are problematic then that is fine. Like I said, we haven't even agreed to go down this path yet, it is just being weighed up as an easier option than going via different sponsors, that's all.

This demands a response.

OP, for a purely technical request it would have sufficed to say (and I quote you here):

“Hi all, my ex-wife and I divorced. How difficult and long does it take to remarry? Are there any steps involved that weren't involved in our first marriage? I would be grateful if someone could inform me about this.”

Posts 26 and 28 covered that adequately.

However your post included vast amounts of personal information. Apart from the fact that it’s not realistic to post on a public forum and expect not to be commented on, it strongly suggests a part of you is uncertain about the whole situation and maybe looking for some resonance here as well. Otherwise why post it? It was certainly irrelevant to the technical question. Several of us responded to this undercurrent. We all hoped you’ll do the right thing and enjoy a positive outcome, whatever that may be for you.

As for me, I have no straws to clutch. I learned to let go a long time ago.

I repeat, all the best, truly.