How much information do you divulge to your gf / wife re your financial situation back home

[NoshowJones]

If you are going to marry her, and you want trust in your marriage ( you will need trust if you want your marriage to succeed) then yes, you tell her about your financial situation back home, there should be no secrets between you, on the other hand, anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business, and vice versa.

"anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business"

So by your own reasoning my money is none of her business, since I got it before I met her. Great!

Yes, that's right, before you got married, your money and financial affairs were none of her business, but after your marriage, there should be no secrets between you regarding finance or anything else, but what you do with your money after marriage is entire up to you. These are things you should both speak about before you marry. Marriage is a partnership and no one is the boss, you decide everything together, and anything you don't agree on you should try and reach a compromise.

<Marriage is a partnership and no one is the boss,>

I tried that with my western ex and all was fine right up to the point that I walked out on her because she became impossible to live with.

My Thai wife is the boss in our marriage, and if I want a happy life that's OK with me. But, I'm the boss of my money, and she works for her own money.

That's almost exactly the same as me, as for being the boss, that's partly true as she never tells me to do anything I don't want to do. I do let her have the upper hand as this is her country, and she knows a lot more about most things than me, and she is also far better educated.

[Aussieroaming]

all of it..she's my wife and partner.

Luckily too, because she is actually making it work for us through investment

[mca]

My wife's never requested anything from me. Our 2 properties are financed by her and the money for the one we just sold went into our joint bank account. This is after my wife asking if I'd rather put it in mine to make it easier for a foreigner to access should we need to. We may put some towards a new car. Her family have never asked for a bean let alone a house. They don't need to. They're houses are bought and paid for.

Is my wife's family rich? No. They're what I call comfortable. Her dad drives a new Accord. Enjoys a game of golf with his retired mates. What does he need from me? I've mentioned previously that when I messed up my money transfer to buy a new car he gave me a bridging loan until it was sorted. Same as when my niece came to the UK with us this summer. Her folks paid for the ticket. If I'd offered to pay they would have been aghast.

My wife's got security through her job. I haven't got a problem willing all my assets to her. After putting up with me for 14 years with never a cross word spoken and giving me a daughter that we idolize she deserves it.

Is she trustworthy. I guess so. I also guess that's why she's on THB 190k a month + benefits working for an international company and I'm posting this from the apartment they rent for us on lower suk. I guess her western bosses ( who after meeting them are a ,lot sharper cookies than me) think she's trustworthy too.

Can a marriage fail. Sure. They all can and the statistics prove it. And more power to the blokes who want to protect their assets. I'm just not overly keen with the absolutes you state regarding Thai women. Maybe with my wife working for westerners all her career she has a different outlook on what Thai women want. She thinks it's great that my dad ( who was a Regent petrol station pump boy) married my mum who came from a local business family and built their own business up for her and my dad.

Strewth that was an epic ramble. Too much coffee today

I guess what antagonized me about your first reaction to my post is the all too frequent response I have observed in sites like these where members tend to have an agenda and look for ways to discredit what other posters have said as a way of rationalizing and justifying their own prejudices. Specifically, you stated that you stopped reading my original post because I mentioned "any" and "inevitable" as regards Thai women. Rational people read entire posts and react to the facts. It annoyed me that you did not read the rest of my post and if you had you would have known that I said the same advice could be applied to all women. My use of the words "any" an "inevitable" may not have been the best of choices but clearly my intentions was not to demean all of Thai womanhood but to indicate that their are bad actors in all countries, including Thailand. You knew or should have known that before posting your message criticizing my comments.

That said let's take a look at the situation you described with your wife. She comes from a relatively well to do family (father drives a nice car new car and golfs regularly with his retied buddies. Never asked you for anything.), and your wife is probably one of the top one percent pay wise with a job that pays 190,000 baht a month! You even admit that she used her money to finance and pay for the two properties you own.

My advice was for people who are in relationships with average Thai women from poor rural backgrounds especially guys who are involved with women much younger than themselves. In what way does your situation fit this average guys concerns?

It seems to me that while your marriage seems to be a success on all levels and I congratulate you on that, it would have been more appropriate, given her status and family background, for her to have had a prenup, wills and trusts set up to protect her from you should your marriage have foundered. Of course she didn't need those because she was a Thai in Thailand and those things would have been unnecessary to her. I don't mean to be insulting to you, your wife, or your wife's family here but please realize that your situation is the exception to the experience that most farangs have with Thai women and being an intelligent guy you should have realized that my post was not intended to slight or demean all Thai women but to protect guys from female predators the world over though with particular relevance to those living and contemplating marriage with a Thai.

I took offense at your dismissing my comments as irrelevant because you live in an insular world with a very successful Thai wife from a relatively well to do family. That is great for you but it does not fit the experiences of 95% of the people who are interested in this topic and I saw your criticism of me as a way of you expressing your smugness with your situation rather than a concern for providing a vulnerable set of members with a solid set of guidelines they can depend on to protect themselves from a bad actor entering a marriage with bad intentions. If a farang follows my advice and does not deviate from it when confronted with a whining GF or wife, he will protect the majority of his assets from a predator and at the same time protect his children, past, present and future. So my final question to you is did your post contribute anything toward the topic or did it just make you feel better about your already successful marriage?

Nope. I don't need to post on an anonymous internet forum to people I've never met nor have no interest in meeting to feel content in my marriage nor do I feel smug. i couldn't possibly be that immature or shallow. I just didn't like your generalization ( which you've already admitted wasn't the best choice of words).

Thai women get knocked from pillar to post on this forum and I apologize if I lumped you in with the morons who slag them off at every opportunity. Insular world? My wife's born and bred in Isaan and her dad started out renting 6 samlors to the farmers to earn a crust after rice harvest while her mum had a shophouse selling noodles which my wife had to work in before and after school. Her grandfather was a knife grinder going from door to door. There's no silver spoon. It's all been through hard graft on the part of my wife's parents and my wife having a work ethic. which most probably explains why I trust her with my assets. She's never sat on her arse waiting for it to be given to her.

Anyhow more power to the people who want to take your advice. If it helps just one person then it's got to be good. I've said my piece.

[Kluckmeister]

Nope. I don't need to post on an anonymous internet forum to people I've never met nor have no interest in meeting to feel content in my marriage nor do I feel smug. i couldn't possibly be that immature or shallow. I just didn't like your generalization ( which you've already admitted wasn't the best choice of words).

Thai women get knocked from pillar to post on this forum and I apologize if I lumped you in with the morons who slag them off at every opportunity. Insular world? My wife's born and bred in Isaan and her dad started out renting 6 samlors to the farmers to earn a crust after rice harvest while her mum had a shophouse selling noodles which my wife had to work in before and after school. Her grandfather was a knife grinder going from door to door. There's no silver spoon. It's all been through hard graft on the part of my wife's parents and my wife having a work ethic. which most probably explains why I trust her with my assets. She's never sat on her arse waiting for it to be given to her.

Anyhow more power to the people who want to take your advice. If it helps just one person then it's got to be good. I've said my piece.

I accept your apology for assuming that I was one of the morons who slag all Thai women. I am not and I am glad you realize it. You are also right that I kind of gave you cause to lump me in with them by my unfortunate use of the words "any' and "inevitable" but I am sure that you must also admit that if you had read the rest of my post, your post criticizing it would have been unnecessary. Sometimes it pays to read to the end even if you don't like some of the parts in between.

I really admire your wife and her family. They are real stars in my book. I was brought up the same way and my family's success over three generations was bought by hard work and sacrifice. However, that said, I think you met your future wife when most of the heavy lifting by her parents, her and her siblings (if she had any) had been done. If that is the case, I stand by my original conclusion that your married life with her began with a big head start over the marriages many of the guys on this site have had to contend with.

With this, I have said my piece and so let is rest with the both of us.

Edited December 27, 2013 by Kluckmeister

[davidst01]

After reading the 7 pages of this interesting topic, it seems that 98% of all posters feel that one should not share financial information with their thai girl.

Then again, 37.89% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

[slipperylobster]

After reading the 7 pages of this interesting topic, it seems that 98% of all posters feel that one should not share financial information with their thai girl.

Then again, 37.89% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

And that just shows that the posters here, in General, of our the same mind. Does not make anybody right (or wrong). In another club, the members might be of the opposite opinion.

[slipperylobster]

After reading the 7 pages of this interesting topic, it seems that 98% of all posters feel that one should not share financial information with their thai girl.

Then again, 37.89% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

And that just shows that the posters here, in General, of our the same mind. Does not make anybody right (or wrong). In another club, the members might be of the opposite opinion.

are of the same mind.

[denby45]

After reading the 7 pages of this interesting topic, it seems that 98% of all posters feel that one should not share financial information with their thai girl.

Then again, 37.89% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

And that just shows that the posters here, in General, of our the same mind. Does not make anybody right (or wrong). In another club, the members might be of the opposite opinion.

Or the opposite sex Haha

[glegolo]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

If she really loves you for yourself, she will not ask, though she will probably want to know if you have enough to provide for her.

If my wife had insisted on knowing how much I have back home, she wouldn't be my wife, or my GF. How else do you know if she loves you for yourself or your money?

Same goes for buying her a house, car or giving money to her family/ paying Sin Sod etc.

If you wouldn't do it with a western woman, why would you do it with a Thai woman?

Havent read all posts yet, bit I feel that I like to add something in this matter. The view of a marriage from some people here are really terrible and what

happenened to the thing in our marriages in west "all mine is yours and all yours is mine"...... That is not valid as soon as it is a thai lady involved???

You are so creapy scared, so the sentence "stay home with mama" comes to mind... Why not try to be nice and ALSO careful..... your money seems to

be the ONLY thing you are focusing on.... WHY marry at all.....

Glegolo

[JAFO]

After reading on in this thread further, its quite clear to me that there is a high quantity of men that got the short end of the stick in their divorce back home and now come over here to Thailand with their guards up. Cannot fault anyone for being cautious. However with this mindset you will always live in constant fear that the gal you met is trying to cheat you. It will be long and painful to live out the rest of your life always being suspicious.

One thing bad about forums is that people usually only come on them to complain or speak of their bad luck. If one was to solely use TV as a source to determine the true intent of ALL Thai women then you would believe they are all scamming, cheating, plotting, bargirls that came from Isaan and want money for the rice farm and to buy an extended family. While I am not saying these gals do not exist( in fact we know they do) there are probably far more that are not. Its a hustlers world and if you look for a gal where the hustle is prevalent then chances are you will get burned( Pattaya, Phuket, parts of BKK, and internet dating sites to name a few).

Now if you happen to branch outside those areas or sites you might just meet a wonderful gal who is educated, reasonably well off, not looking to scam you and just wants to meet a nice guy. Its no different than anywhere else in the world.

I will say and this is to the OP. In my years here and forum browsing I have always found it quite bizarre that an older educated western man would turn over his finances to a women in their 20's who has probably never had to manage anything financial. Yet these same guys fly on to a forum page and say they got burned???? So in answering your question, you should use common sense like you would back in your home country and only divulge what you feel is really necessary until at some point you feel she is the right woman for you and you trust her. Again, this is not a Thai woman debate, this is an any woman anywhere question. Even when I dated back in the US I never openly talked about my career, financial position with a woman. After I got married of course it was open discussion as you grow jointly. Hiding things is deceitful and only leads to issues later IMHO.

Its all common sense.

Edited December 27, 2013 by JAFO

[thailiketoo]

After reading the 7 pages of this interesting topic, it seems that 98% of all posters feel that one should not share financial information with their thai girl.

Then again, 37.89% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

37% of statistics are not made up on the spot. And 98% of the posters don't feel that one should not share information. So that makes you 100% wrong.

[thailiketoo]

After reading on in this thread further, its quite clear to me that there is a high quantity of men that got the short end of the stick in their divorce back home and now come over here to Thailand with their guards up. Cannot fault anyone for being cautious. However with this mindset you will always live in constant fear that the gal you met is trying to cheat you. It will be long and painful to live out the rest of your life always being suspicious.

One thing bad about forums is that people usually only come on them to complain or speak of their bad luck. If one was to solely use TV as a source to determine the true intent of ALL Thai women then you would believe they are all scamming, cheating, plotting, bargirls that came from Isaan and want money for the rice farm and to buy an extended family. While I am not saying these gals do not exist( in fact we know they do) there are probably far more that are not. Its a hustlers world and if you look for a gal where the hustle is prevalent then chances are you will get burned( Pattaya, Phuket, parts of BKK, and internet dating sites to name a few).

Now if you happen to branch outside those areas or sites you might just meet a wonderful gal who is educated, reasonably well off, not looking to scam you and just wants to meet a nice guy. Its no different than anywhere else in the world.

I will say and this is to the OP. In my years here and forum browsing I have always found it quite bizarre that an older educated western man would turn over his finances to a women in their 20's who has probably never had to manage anything financial. Yet these same guys fly on to a forum page and say they got burned???? So in answering your question, you should use common sense like you would back in your home country and only divulge what you feel is really necessary until at some point you feel she is the right woman for you and you trust her. Again, this is not a Thai woman debate, this is an any woman anywhere question. Even when I dated back in the US I never openly talked about my career, financial position with a woman. After I got married of course it was open discussion as you grow jointly. Hiding things is deceitful and only leads to issues later IMHO.

Its all common sense.

Think about a guy who has ridden a bicycle or driven a 10 year old Ford all of his life and he comes to Thailand and gets a Ferrari 458. Do you think he is going to drive the speed limit?

[fish fingers]

If you worry about telling your GF financial stuff that says maybe you dont trust her, therefor ….

[Thongkorn]

Some one who i know who lied to his now Thai wife works hard to pay his mortgage. make you wounder if they lie when they fill there Settlement and spouse visa form in, about supporting them, You hear how Thai lady's lie and deceive, But some men are no better, why start you relationship on a lie,

[donniereadit]

Girlfriends don't need to know financial details on anything. If your married it's different, your lives are more intertwined and you would need to share that.

I never tell girlfriends financial details or bank balances, not even family.

[BngkkB]

I had an American friend, living and married in America. He came from am upper middle class family that had all the toys. He always told the gf/then wife that it wasn't his, which was true. But as he did have cash early in life from family, he invested it in a small company msft right after the IPO, then some other similar investments. He never touched it or talked about it.

He always worked hard and saved money from his Job as a cop. He married a female cop, bought a nice house and started a family.

When his mom sold the house he was raised in he finally got around to changing the mailing address on his brokerage statement, never paid any attention to things like that, honestly.

When the first statement arrived at his home, the wife opened it and was shocked!! First thing she said was, let's buy a couple of new cars, blah blah...

He just shook his head and told her it was for retirement and emergency.

He was never hiding it from her, he honestly never thought about it as he was happy with what he was earning and living on. No secret, no hiding, just never thought about it as it was for later in life or for their kids.

I've never been asked by a Thai gf how much I have? I honestly do not know the "Exact" amount. Fluctuations in the stock market, property prices always changing does anyone really know "Exactly" how much they have? I have a set amount I transfer to Thailand every month. It's not much and I'm happy to share that with a serious gf. If she thinks her man should have more then she should go find that man. I'm not lying when I tell her I have Xxx amount every month. If she loves you then she won't care and be happily surprised if she finds out later after you have died and the kids and grand kids are set for life.

Don't worry so much about it as it sounds like she is not.

[JAFO]

After reading on in this thread further, its quite clear to me that there is a high quantity of men that got the short end of the stick in their divorce back home and now come over here to Thailand with their guards up. Cannot fault anyone for being cautious. However with this mindset you will always live in constant fear that the gal you met is trying to cheat you. It will be long and painful to live out the rest of your life always being suspicious.

One thing bad about forums is that people usually only come on them to complain or speak of their bad luck. If one was to solely use TV as a source to determine the true intent of ALL Thai women then you would believe they are all scamming, cheating, plotting, bargirls that came from Isaan and want money for the rice farm and to buy an extended family. While I am not saying these gals do not exist( in fact we know they do) there are probably far more that are not. Its a hustlers world and if you look for a gal where the hustle is prevalent then chances are you will get burned( Pattaya, Phuket, parts of BKK, and internet dating sites to name a few).

Now if you happen to branch outside those areas or sites you might just meet a wonderful gal who is educated, reasonably well off, not looking to scam you and just wants to meet a nice guy. Its no different than anywhere else in the world.

I will say and this is to the OP. In my years here and forum browsing I have always found it quite bizarre that an older educated western man would turn over his finances to a women in their 20's who has probably never had to manage anything financial. Yet these same guys fly on to a forum page and say they got burned???? So in answering your question, you should use common sense like you would back in your home country and only divulge what you feel is really necessary until at some point you feel she is the right woman for you and you trust her. Again, this is not a Thai woman debate, this is an any woman anywhere question. Even when I dated back in the US I never openly talked about my career, financial position with a woman. After I got married of course it was open discussion as you grow jointly. Hiding things is deceitful and only leads to issues later IMHO.

Its all common sense.

Think about a guy who has ridden a bicycle or driven a 10 year old Ford all of his life and he comes to Thailand and gets a Ferrari 458. Do you think he is going to drive the speed limit?

Actually I do not think he would have a clue what to do with a Ferrari if all he had done was ride a bicycle or had driven a 10 year old Ford. Maybe that is why so many of them crash and burn in Thailand.

[harryfrompattaya]

its this type of attitude toward marriage, that leads to failure.

Firstly why would you marry some one you don't trust? are you that hard up for sex?

If you trust your wife and are truly a team, why not divulge everything to her?

I trust my wife, she trusts me, It is not my money, it is OUR money, we have dreams and plans for the future together

she is an equal partner, and has a vested interest , as such she is vigilant Stewart of OUR money!!!

Does not spend it freely, will not give it away frivolously My wife is a bulldog with OUR money

This are the hall marks of a trusted , engaged wife with a vested interest in a marriage

On the other hand aside from the other obvious disadvantages of being married to some one you don't trust

a wife is much more likely to spend frivolously and or give away YOUR money if she does not have an understanding of your finances, and a vested interest on the out come of her financial decisions

If you trust like you she can con you

Maybe she is not spending your today with you so tomorrow with others

I wish you luck but too many lie you went down for the counter

Be very careful I feel sorry for people like you

[sirineou]

its this type of attitude toward marriage, that leads to failure.

Firstly why would you marry some one you don't trust? are you that hard up for sex?

If you trust your wife and are truly a team, why not divulge everything to her?

I trust my wife, she trusts me, It is not my money, it is OUR money, we have dreams and plans for the future together

she is an equal partner, and has a vested interest , as such she is vigilant Stewart of OUR money!!!

Does not spend it freely, will not give it away frivolously My wife is a bulldog with OUR money

This are the hall marks of a trusted , engaged wife with a vested interest in a marriage

On the other hand aside from the other obvious disadvantages of being married to some one you don't trust

a wife is much more likely to spend frivolously and or give away YOUR money if she does not have an understanding of your finances, and a vested interest on the out come of her financial decisions

If you trust like you she can con you

Maybe she is not spending your today with you so tomorrow with others

I wish you luck but too many lie you went down for the counter

Be very careful I feel sorry for people like you

Be very careful I feel sorry for people like you

Thank you for your concern, but after 5 years together I feel pretty safe

and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ,I also feel sorry for people like you

always on the defensive, Not even feeling safe in your own home,

what hell your life must be, I cant even imagine

and all for fear of loosing a couple of bucks.

Edited December 28, 2013 by sirineou

[jinners]

I don't divulge any information. If anything I play down any assets. That does not mean I have to lie, I am just selective or not forthcoming with information.

I'm at the age and mindset where I have been divorced once. I have worked hard to have what I have now, and if I lost that, well, I doubt I could make it back.

Thai or Western relationship, I wouldn't divulge the state of my assets at this stage of my life.

Ditto, having said that, my TG of 3 years never asks. I think she probably realises I'm not quite on the bread line, but never pries, Same would apply with a foreign girl. Not just TGF that shaft the male of the species, just a lot more guys come here with a lot less experience/leave brains at the airport and get taken.

Good luck and don't be so obsessed with the cynicism displayed on here. I sometimes find it pretty annoying.

[thaibeachlovers]

its this type of attitude toward marriage, that leads to failure.

Firstly why would you marry some one you don't trust? are you that hard up for sex?

If you trust your wife and are truly a team, why not divulge everything to her?

I trust my wife, she trusts me, It is not my money, it is OUR money, we have dreams and plans for the future together

she is an equal partner, and has a vested interest , as such she is vigilant Stewart of OUR money!!!

Does not spend it freely, will not give it away frivolously My wife is a bulldog with OUR money

This are the hall marks of a trusted , engaged wife with a vested interest in a marriage

On the other hand aside from the other obvious disadvantages of being married to some one you don't trust

a wife is much more likely to spend frivolously and or give away YOUR money if she does not have an understanding of your finances, and a vested interest on the out come of her financial decisions

<are you that hard up for sex?>

You really don't know the answer to that ?

[FiftyTwo]

Thank you for your concern, but after 5 years together I feel pretty safe and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ,I also feel sorry for people like you always on the defensive, Not even feeling safe in your own home,

what hell your life must be, I cant even imagine and all for fear of loosing a couple of bucks.

After 25 years I felt pretty safe in my home, it didn't help me when the judge decided it was her home.

PS. losing ...... only one "o".

PPS. "our money", who earnt "our money" her or you?

Edited December 28, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[atyclb]

I bet the OP is extremely satisfied in seeking consultation with the TV relationship experts.

Is a pre-nuptial contract not a good way to protect all parties? Nobody can foresee the future. People can change. Situations can change. Relationship can sour and animosity and vengeance can make the loveliest people in the world reverse 180 degrees (men or women)

Do you know anyone who has enforced a pre nup in Thailand?

Personally no but they are considered by Thai law to be valid contracts. There seems to be a lot of folks on tv forums that use "barstool" acquired knowledge over reality. Theres no lack of non thai's prevailing in courts against thai spouses.

[rayongchelsea]

Thank you for your concern, but after 5 years together I feel pretty safe and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ,I also feel sorry for people like you always on the defensive, Not even feeling safe in your own home,

what hell your life must be, I cant even imagine and all for fear of loosing a couple of bucks.

After 25 years I felt pretty safe in my home, it didn't help me when the judge decided it was her home.

PS. losing ...... only one "o".

PPS. "our money", who earnt "our money" her or you?

Frankly 5 years isn't that long when you throw in a new country, different culture, language, laws( which very few farang know or understand ).

Thailand is an up and coming financial power, many people as such are not that sophisticated about money, pension plans, cash flow etc..investments ( other than land).

Plus most foreigners marry into a certain sector where financial management ( other than debt) is near non existent and the wife doesn't work.

It isn't always about trust, it's about being practical in the circumstances you are in and the country you are in.

My best friends wife ( Thai) walked out on him after 14 years, complete shock..so nothing is full proof.

So don't feel sorry for people who are protecting their assets..it's not about fear..I have worked with women ( Asian) who put a bit of money aside without their husbands knowing just Incase..married a lot longer than you..

If you only have a couple of bucks then sure.

The Mai pen rai attitude is not conducive to full disclosure of what you have.

[sirineou]

Thank you for your concern, but after 5 years together I feel pretty safe and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ,I also feel sorry for people like you always on the defensive, Not even feeling safe in your own home,

what hell your life must be, I cant even imagine and all for fear of loosing a couple of bucks.

After 25 years I felt pretty safe in my home, it didn't help me when the judge decided it was her home.

PS. losing ...... only one "o".

PPS. "our money", who earnt "our money" her or you?

not only a personal relationship sage. but a grammatical genius also, I am impressed

Did you also correct your ex-wife's spelling? how did that work for you?

We live and work in the US and spend part of our time in Thailand, I always thought that one day we will retire to Thailand full time, but after knowing what I know about Thailand. I don't think it will be an option, I would not be good for my financial and personal health.

It is our money because we earned together, ,She works and owns a business, but even if she did't work, it will still be our money,

I work and have investments. How could we coordinate our business, Work and investments if we both didn't know what they were.

You all (well many of you) seem to have a Neanderthal concept of home economics, luckily for women those who make the laws know differently, Thus the concept of community property.

Even if you work and your wife stays at home, it does not mean that her work at home does not have value.

you are a team,

her staying at home and running your household enables you to go to work.

I am sorry that you lost your home to a divorce, but you must have came out of that with your fair share of assets, especially the ones she did not know about,

I was also divorced about 13 years ago, we owned significant assets, including a jewelry store, We did not need a judge, We sat down like reasonable people put everything on the table, and divided everything amicable, Just because we got divorced did not mean we did not care for each other any more, we also had a daughter, and we both loved her very much, I wanted to provide for my daughter and be involved in her life, I take my responsibilities very seriously. Some one recently commented that " oh your daughter is turning 18 you don't have to give money to your ex any more.

My reply was"why does she stop being my daughter at 18?"

I have a very good relationship with my ex-wife, not because I am such a great fellow, but because I chose well when I married her I also choose well when I married my present wife.

I am not worried at all,

and should I be wrong I still don worry, it is only money,I can always make more,

How I live my life is much-more important than money,

​I suggest the same to you, it will transform your life In ways you cant imagine.

I don't mean to be critical, or didactic, though it might sound that way, thus are the limitations of communication via a forum and the written word.

I don't know you I could be totally wrong, you could have done everything right and still be screwed,Bad things

happen to good people, If you allow a bad thing to fester, it amplifies it's self,

Best idea, Move on

Edited December 28, 2013 by sirineou

[Theoutsider]

They think all white people are rich.

[augustwest]

Just my opinion but I have divulged what I was worth and was screwed every time. I don't care if it's love lust or whatever never tell a woman what you have. It will bite you in the ass in the long run. Even a marriage is no guarantee that she will take all she can get. When it's over they are all money grabbing bitches. Keep your financials to your self. If you worry about her after your death set up a Will.then it won't matter .

[sirineou]

Just my opinion but I have divulged what I was worth and was screwed every time. I don't care if it's love lust or whatever never tell a woman what you have. It will bite you in the ass in the long run. Even a marriage is no guarantee that she will take all she can get. When it's over they are all money grabbing bitches. Keep your financials to your self. If you worry about her after your death set up a Will.then it won't matter .

Is it possible that you get "screwed" not because you have divulge your financial worth, but because you made bad choices,other than your disclosure, or were just plain,unlucky in your relationships?

I am not saying one way or an other, I don't know you,

but have you considered the possibility?

Have you considered that your attitude that,, and I quote, " they are all money grabbing bitches."might have something to do with it?

You don't suppose that opinion exists in a vacuum, and does not manifest it's self in other negative to a relationship ways?

Remember honesty is the cornerstone of any personal relationship , especially honesty to once self.

[thaibeachlovers]

Thank you for your concern, but after 5 years together I feel pretty safe and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ,I also feel sorry for people like you always on the defensive, Not even feeling safe in your own home,

what hell your life must be, I cant even imagine and all for fear of loosing a couple of bucks.

After 25 years I felt pretty safe in my home, it didn't help me when the judge decided it was her home.

PS. losing ...... only one "o".

PPS. "our money", who earnt "our money" her or you?

not only a personal relationship sage. but a grammatical genius also, I am impressed

Did you also correct your ex-wife's spelling? how did that work for you?

We live and work in the US and spend part of our time in Thailand, I always thought that one day we will retire to Thailand full time, but after knowing what I know about Thailand. I don't think it will be an option, I would not be good for my financial and personal health.

It is our money because we earned together, ,She works and owns a business, but even if she did't work, it will still be our money,

I work and have investments. How could we coordinate our business, Work and investments if we both didn't know what they were.

You all (well many of you) seem to have a Neanderthal concept of home economics, luckily for women those who make the laws know differently, Thus the concept of community property.

Even if you work and your wife stays at home, it does not mean that her work at home does not have value.

you are a team,

her staying at home and running your household enables you to go to work.

I am sorry that you lost your home to a divorce, but you must have came out of that with your fair share of assets, especially the ones she did not know about,

I was also divorced about 13 years ago, we owned significant assets, including a jewelry store, We did not need a judge, We sat down like reasonable people put everything on the table, and divided everything amicable, Just because we got divorced did not mean we did not care for each other any more, we also had a daughter, and we both loved her very much, I wanted to provide for my daughter and be involved in her life, I take my responsibilities very seriously. Some one recently commented that " oh your daughter is turning 18 you don't have to give money to your ex any more.

My reply was"why does she stop being my daughter at 18?"

I have a very good relationship with my ex-wife, not because I am such a great fellow, but because I chose well when I married her I also choose well when I married my present wife.

I am not worried at all,

and should I be wrong I still don worry, it is only money,I can always make more,

How I live my life is much-more important than money,

​I suggest the same to you, it will transform your life In ways you cant imagine.

I don't mean to be critical, or didactic, though it might sound that way, thus are the limitations of communication via a forum and the written word.

I don't know you I could be totally wrong, you could have done everything right and still be screwed,Bad things

happen to good people, If you allow a bad thing to fester, it amplifies it's self,

Best idea, Move on

You said ",I can always make more," on a forum where most of us that live in LOS are retired .

I can't make more. I can barely get out of bed some days. It's not "only money", it's all I have and you try having a life without money. All that "the best things in life are free" is just BS. Try getting to see a Dr here without money .

[rayongchelsea]

Thank you for your concern, but after 5 years together I feel pretty safe and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ,I also feel sorry for people like you always on the defensive, Not even feeling safe in your own home,

what hell your life must be, I cant even imagine and all for fear of loosing a couple of bucks.

After 25 years I felt pretty safe in my home, it didn't help me when the judge decided it was her home.

PS. losing ...... only one "o".

PPS. "our money", who earnt "our money" her or you?

not only a personal relationship sage. but a grammatical genius also, I am impressed

Did you also correct your ex-wife's spelling? how did that work for you?

We live and work in the US and spend part of our time in Thailand, I always thought that one day we will retire to Thailand full time, but after knowing what I know about Thailand. I don't think it will be an option, I would not be good for my financial and personal health.

It is our money because we earned together, ,She works and owns a business, but even if she did't work, it will still be our money,

I work and have investments. How could we coordinate our business, Work and investments if we both didn't know what they were.

You all (well many of you) seem to have a Neanderthal concept of home economics, luckily for women those who make the laws know differently, Thus the concept of community property.

Even if you work and your wife stays at home, it does not mean that her work at home does not have value.

you are a team,

her staying at home and running your household enables you to go to work.

I am sorry that you lost your home to a divorce, but you must have came out of that with your fair share of assets, especially the ones she did not know about,

I was also divorced about 13 years ago, we owned significant assets, including a jewelry store, We did not need a judge, We sat down like reasonable people put everything on the table, and divided everything amicable, Just because we got divorced did not mean we did not care for each other any more, we also had a daughter, and we both loved her very much, I wanted to provide for my daughter and be involved in her life, I take my responsibilities very seriously. Some one recently commented that " oh your daughter is turning 18 you don't have to give money to your ex any more.

My reply was"why does she stop being my daughter at 18?"

I have a very good relationship with my ex-wife, not because I am such a great fellow, but because I chose well when I married her I also choose well when I married my present wife.

I am not worried at all,

and should I be wrong I still don worry, it is only money,I can always make more,

How I live my life is much-more important than money,

​I suggest the same to you, it will transform your life In ways you cant imagine.

I don't mean to be critical, or didactic, though it might sound that way, thus are the limitations of communication via a forum and the written word.

I don't know you I could be totally wrong, you could have done everything right and still be screwed,Bad things

happen to good people, If you allow a bad thing to fester, it amplifies it's self,

Best idea, Move on

You said ",I can always make more," on a forum where most of us that live in LOS are retired .

I can't make more. I can barely get out of bed some days. It's not "only money", it's all I have and you try having a life without money. All that "the best things in life are free" is just BS. Try getting to see a Dr here without money .

La la came to mind when I read that post.bs.