Online dating fad a big hit among Thai women

[george]

Internet cafe gives tips to find mates

Online dating fad a big hit among Isan women

CHAIYAPHUM: -- Sudarat Intratanote's internet cafe in tambon Ban Kai in Muang district offers advice to women in this northeastern province on hunting for soulmates via cyber chatrooms. Before setting up her shop a year ago, Mrs Sudarat, 42, a widow with two children, spent her free time surfing the net.

She left information about herself on friend-finding websites such as www.asiafriendfinder.com and www.meetic.co.uk and before long, she said, she had a lot of online friends to talk to.

Mrs Sudarat has kept in touch with her foreign chatmates through internet chatting and web cameras for about four years and some from the United States have visited her in Chaiyaphum.

''My two American friends visited me at my house,'' she said.

''The women in my neighbourhood were so curious they asked me to help them get in contact with foreigners.''

She said Thai women are particularly appealing to Americans and Europeans who find them caring, polite and gentle.

Mrs Sudarat said she chatted online with one or two foreigners each day and preferred those who were 45 or over and had a secure job.

She said she would talk with them on the condition the conversation is kept only to topics suited to decent friendships or long-term relationships.

However, most of them are just looking for sex, she said.

She would not trust her chatmates unless she could see their faces on the webcam.

''If the conversation goes along well, we will exchange photos or use the webcam so that I can observe their facial expressions,'' said Mrs Sudarat.

She has now provided correspondence service and online match-making services for women in the locality.

Those interested can pay a fee of 5,000 baht for unlimited use of facilities including the internet, digital camera, webcam and photo scanner at her shop. There are Thai-English dictionaries available and English language lessons are also taught.

''Their knowledge of English is zero. But after a few months of trial and error, they can manage to communicate with foreigners via the internet.

''If the women succeed in marrying their foreign chatmate, they pay me an extra amount of money,'' said Mrs Sudarat.

However, Mrs Sudarat admitted that she felt apprehensive about the possible dangers of web-dating following the recent murder of a school teacher in Ubon Ratchathani who was killed by someone she met while cyber-chatting.

Mrs Sudarat said most cyber chatters are not totally reliable. It should take five to six months before one decides to meet face-to-face with his or her chat partner and they only meet their chatmates in open areas and not be alone.

''The first meeting should be arranged at our home in the presence of our family members,'' she said.

Paramee Thaitip, 29, a regular internet user at the shop, said she would be more careful in her cyber conversations now she had heard about the murder.

However, she said she could improve her English and expand her horizons by chatting with foreigners on the web.

''Some of my foreign chatmates have already visited Thailand but they never come to Chaiyaphum. They want to visit me and see a lot of interesting temples in the province,'' said Ms Paramee who is now keeping in touch with a Dutch man who plans to visit her at her house.

Thuenjai Piewpong, 40, a widow with a son, was the luckiest of all when a Dutch man she had webchatted with for seven months decided to meet her and gave her a gold engagement ring.

They plan to marry in Chaiyaphum and have a ceremony in the Netherlands.

She said her boyfriend is requesting a visa for her and her son to travel to the Netherlands and settle down there.

Ms Thuenjai said her foreign boyfriend is different from Thai men. ''He always takes care of us. He phones many times a day to see if I'm okay and gives me 10,000 baht to spend every month.''

--Bangkok Post 2006-05-17

[Simmo]

Ms Thuenjai said her foreign boyfriend is different from Thai men. ''He always takes care of us. He phones many times a day to see if I'm okay and gives me 10,000 baht to spend every month.''

..... one born every minute.

Edited May 17, 2006 by Simmo

[Scott]

The header on this thread is not very nice "....Thai Women Warned of Farang Chat Mates." How about warning people in general about guidelines for face-to-face meetings of people who have chatted on the internet. This has little to do with either "Thai" or "Farang" per se.

[jdinasia]

is it just me or does the thread title not match the article?

[Jai Dee]

Topic title edited.

[jdinasia]

is it just me or does the title of the thread match?

[Chang_paarp]

If they keep making these sort of anouncements I wont have any one to chat with.

That is of course if the ladies take any notice of the government anouncements.

[dvk1951]

Ms Thuenjai said her foreign boyfriend is different from Thai men. ''He always takes care of us. He phones many times a day to see if I'm okay and gives me 10,000 baht to spend every month.''

..... one born every minute.

Simmo,

So your crystal ball has revealed all the details of the above mentioned relationship and you know all the facts.

......on born every minute.............people who jump to conclusions whiledevoid of knowledge.

Live and let love ........it's not your party

Edited May 17, 2006 by dvk1951

[Insight]

Did I get up out of the wrong side of bed this morning, or is the above article really bringing out the cynic in me? Where to begin....?

''My two American friends visited me at my house,'' she said.

''The women in my neighbourhood were so curious they asked me to help them get in contact with foreigners.''

Curious?? A visit by not one, but two foreigners, at different times..? I bet the village gossip levels hit the roof! Does she live alone?

Those interested can pay a fee of 5,000 baht for unlimited use of facilities including the internet, digital camera, webcam and photo scanner at her shop. There are Thai-English dictionaries available and English language lessons are also taught.

HOW MUCH??? From my sources, that's just below double the average Issan monthly salary. How do they get the money to afford it?

Ms Thuenjai said her foreign boyfriend is different from Thai men. ''He always takes care of us. He phones many times a day to see if I'm okay and gives me 10,000 baht to spend every month.''

Oh I see.

If the article was written about how many Issan girls were meeting foreigners and starting successful relationships together I might not be so cynical. Instead, I can hear the cash registers from here.

[LaoPo]

Internet....

...the biggest (dating) Cafe in the world and a good solution for many who are isolated in their own environment one way or another, especially also (Far Eastern) women who have less chances to go out and meet other people.

Of course there are many 'scams' and fake people pretending to be someone else or better and it's difficult to find out the truth.

But with common sense and a longer period of 'chatting' and phoning there will be the chance to meet someone and become happy after all.

I'm not talking Thailand in particular but internet-dating as a new way of finding someone in general.

The only fear I have is that there is, in many cases, a big difference in education en culture between partners which might cause problems later.

LaoPo

[ColPyat]

The only fear I have is that there is, in many cases, a big difference in education en culture between partners which might cause problems later.

LaoPo[/color]

Such as the rise of a relatively new profession here in Thailand: the *Mia Farang* - the professional Farang wife (as the article states: Ms Thuenjai said her foreign boyfriend is different from Thai men. ''He always takes care of us. He phones many times a day to see if I'm okay and gives me 10,000 baht to spend every month.'')

Hmmm, getting married because a Farang can send more money every month than a Thai bloke? WOW, that sounds like a base for a succesful and loving relationship...

[Thaising]

Therefore, it is all about money to chat online for these women to collect honey.

[britmaveric]

Bit weird if you ask me.

[Thaipwriter]

Bud Zumwalt would be all over this thread like a rash

[cclub75]

Bit weird if you ask me.

Why is that ?

I would rather say : "personal entrepreneurship" at a high level.

They see relationships as a casino : you have to play in order to (hope) win.

As said previously : live and let live.

[LaoPo]

In reply to posts #11, 12 and 13 I would like to point that the majority of the world population is living in the Far East...and 95%+ of those people, including women, indeed don't have as much money, or are able to live the lifestyle, as westerners (men) in general do.

That means: YOU and ME.

Does that mean they couldn't look for a partner in the west...? It would be real quiet here on TV

I agree with cclub75: ""I would rather say : "personal entrepreneurship" at a high level."" and admire the Lady who created this business, being a widow with children, and trying to make Isan girls (and their families) happy by connecting them to another 'world' (read: a man) and making some money at the same time.

It's a win-win situation and I don't see anything wrong with that; just wish there were more people like her in Thailand with entrepeneurial spirits, trying to survive.

LaoPo

[britmaveric]

Weird - whole inet dating/relationship online bit. No qualms with someone trying to make dosh out of it, just the concept is a bit off to me. You need to spend signficant one on one time with a potential partner and the internet lacks that.

[LaoPo]

Weird - whole inet dating/relationship online bit. No qualms with someone trying to make dosh out of it, just the concept is a bit off to me. You need to spend signficant one on one time with a potential partner and the internet lacks that.

That's because you probably didn't experience the system. Please try to understand the people who are NOT in a position to date in a normal way (bars, restaurants, clubs, parks etc.) and those are mainly women. You have absolutely no idea how many people, worldwide, are HAPPY with online dating.

To the latter of your comment; that's not entirely true, since many people chat online with a webcam; there's also skype (a.o.) for free online talking and than there is the phone.

After that they can decide whether to meet one another or not and spend time together. In many cases the 'click' continues but I agree, in other cases the 'click' fades away.

But, at least they have tried.

All in all the Internet is a blessing for those (women) who are not able to date in an 'old fashion way' because of various circumstances in their (family- country- or social-) environment.

LaoPo

[KhunMarco]

Weird - whole inet dating/relationship online bit. No qualms with someone trying to make dosh out of it, just the concept is a bit off to me. You need to spend signficant one on one time with a potential partner and the internet lacks that.

Desperation is a shortcut for disaster...

[ColPyat]

Weird - whole inet dating/relationship online bit. No qualms with someone trying to make dosh out of it, just the concept is a bit off to me. You need to spend signficant one on one time with a potential partner and the internet lacks that.

Yes, agreed.

Being slightly conservative and old fashioned i personally have serious difficulties to unserstand the attraction of online dating. But that's just me...

[ColPyat]

All in all the Internet is a blessing for those (women) who are not able to date in an 'old fashion way' because of various circumstances in their (family- country- or social-) environment.

LaoPo[/color]

Dunno, but from what i have seen in Thai villages there are endles opportunities for men and women to meet each other and date. Everyone in a Thai village delights in being a match maker.

It may not be possible to date a what in their perception might be a rich westerner, but dating the "old-fashioned way" is easy.

Many western men looking for third world wifes might have those difficulties to date in their increasingly competitive societies, but on the side of the women here that often only means clear material considerations.

I don't know if that is exactly a "win-win" situation, especially if, as there often is another bloke behind the corner that can't maybe fulfill their material demands, but to whom these women can relate culturally.

But whatever, each to their own...

Edited May 17, 2006 by ColPyat

[Heng]

''If the women succeed in marrying their foreign chatmate, they pay me an extra amount of money,'' said Mrs Sudarat.

[LaoPo]

For a lot of people it seems indeed to be very, if not extremely, difficult to imagin the lifes 100's of millions of women....women in countries like China and India, Indonesia and yes, a smaller country like Thailand (and small villages) which some of you base their opinion upon...

I happen to know that for instance in China the women work extremely hard and long, long hours; 60-70 hours per week is no exception.

Internet just started there with a 'mere' 100 millions connections and a large number of them are amongst the younger women

Therefore Internet dating is a blessing to them.

However I do understand that for a number of you Internet would not be an option because, either you're too old or do have a partner/wife. If not there's a big choice in the streets, right?

Not everywhere in the Far East it's so easy to get connected to the other sexe as in Thailand

LaoPo

[ColPyat]

I happen to know that for instance in China the women work extremely hard and long, long hours; 60-70 hours per week is no exception.

Not everywhere in the Far East it's so easy to get connected to the other sexe as in Thailand

LaoPo[/color]

Well, and apart from the old family match making systhem, and what is left over from the old communist neighborhood committee matchmaking systhem, most women there find their partners at the work place. Again, not a *rich* westerner though.

My point here is, that dating someone from their own socio-economic background is easy in the east, and people hardly need internet for that. Only moving up the socio-economical ladder might be a bit difficult the traditional way, also due to family politics and rigid class systhems, and there the internet definately might be an advantage.

I though would not feel comfortable to just be a step up the economical ladder, or, as very common in China nowadays, a passport to a rich country.

[meadish_sweetball]

Weird - whole inet dating/relationship online bit. No qualms with someone trying to make dosh out of it, just the concept is a bit off to me. You need to spend signficant one on one time with a potential partner and the internet lacks that.

Yes, agreed.

Being slightly conservative and old fashioned i personally have serious difficulties to unserstand the attraction of online dating. But that's just me...

It suits people who are too shy to pick people of the opposite sex up in real life. It also suits people with hidden agendas, and people desperate for acknowledgement. Just some of the reasons.

[ColPyat]

It suits people who are too shy to pick people of the opposite sex up in real life. It also suits people with hidden agendas, and people desperate for acknowledgement. Just some of the reasons.

The ones too shy i truly feel sorry for if they fall into the hands of some of the sharks around here looking for improving their economical situation.

[LaoPo]

It suits people who are too shy to pick people of the opposite sex up in real life. It also suits people with hidden agendas, and people desperate for acknowledgement. Just some of the reasons.

The ones too shy i truly feel sorry for if they fall into the hands of some of the sharks around here looking for improving their economical situation.

Fortunately the world has more good people than sharks.

It's only the sharks that gets the attention rather than the good people.

That's inherent to the (sensational/tabloid) press.

LaoPo

[siam-i-am]

It suits people who are too shy to pick people of the opposite sex up in real life. It also suits people with hidden agendas, and people desperate for acknowledgement. Just some of the reasons.

The ones too shy i truly feel sorry for if they fall into the hands of some of the sharks around here looking for improving their economical situation.

Fortunately the world has more good people than sharks.

It's only the sharks that gets the attention rather than the good people.

That's inherent to the (sensational/tabloid) press.

LaoPo

Internet, Bar, Matchmaker finding the right woman is always going to be a lottery, it's just that some can cost more money than others. Ask Paul MaCartney 200 Mil

[ColPyat]

That's inherent to the (sensational/tabloid) press.

LaoPo[/color]

Unfortunately it is also inherent for a medium such as the internet to be abused by the sharks in particular.

[LaoPo]

That's inherent to the (sensational/tabloid) press.

LaoPo[/color]

Unfortunately it is also inherent for a medium such as the internet to be abused by the sharks in particular.

I rest my case...

LaoPo