Big visa problem advice needed please help!

[MRGTINGTONG]

Just beat her up

She can make false claim you hit her and that will be it for you, thrown ont of Thailand never to return,

Be careful, be very very careful.

[umbanda]

If you are really not interested in your GF anymore, move out now and change your phone number. If you have a good relationship with your sponsor's manager, jut tell it that you are having problems with your GF and you changed address and phone number. I doubt your GF will do what she says. If she do it, I doubt Immigration will be involved with that. Maximum it can do it is contacting your sponsor to know if your contract still in place, and to ask for your new address in town. Relax.....but change bed companion....NOW!

Edited January 17, 2014 by umbanda

[F4UCorsair]

It's not called the Land of Smiles for nothing.....they have a smile for every emotion.

The lesson here is NEVER tell a gf what sort of visa you have, keep your passport out of sight. Treat her like a mushroom, in the dark and feed her bs.

[F4UCorsair]

Yes I can't do anything about it if the company wants to cancel the internship, ok I will then have a year delay with my study. I can accept that.

What I am more worried about is my ex-gf's intention. She said she is going to make sure I get problems with immigration or police. She also added that I will never be able to come back to Thailand again, blacklist me.

In this situation, what can I do?

PS. She is sleeping in the bed right now. I am affraid to sleep, she might do something to me. like cut my penis or something. I heard stories of angry Thai women doing that. Tonight I will have one eye open... BUt that is a situation I can handle, I hope. It's the whole Visa/immigration/deportation/blacklist/arrest thing which I am not familiar with in Thailand.

If you're breaking up under these circumstances, why is she sleeping with you now? Why aren't you in a cheap guest house?

I'm starting to think troll.

Reading back a few posts, I'm now thinking likewise.....troll.

[asdecas]

Clearly your girlfriend feels aggrieved, and this could lead to all sorts of problems in your life in future, particularly as you say she has friends and contacts at the company with which you are doing your internship. Only you can say just how much of a loose cannon she might prove to be, but experience shows that for some Thai women, the idea of revenge never goes away. I would tread cautiously and try as far as possible to move out of your ex's sphere of influence, if indeed she has any. If she turns into a real psycho (knives, self-harming, incessant calls, her and/or her brothers doing the 3am door banging, etc) I would consider more radical solutions like moving, changing phone number, email, company and so on.

I'm not saying it will, but these kind of scenarios can turn very ugly and protracted, not to mention the toll on your own emotional well being that such a situation would take.

Edited January 17, 2014 by asdecas

[bifftastic]

I do have and am on a ED visa for 1 year. I am really doing an internship in a Thai company which is part of my study in my university in my home country.

I was wondering wether I can protect myself, should she really try to make problems for me at immigration. If a Thai wants a farang deported or jailed or blacklisted on imigration. what would she do?

People can't just turn up at immigration and say "I want this person deported".

If you are doing what you're supposed to be doing at this company, then you'll be fine.

If she wants to create a problem for you at the company itself, maybe she could say a few bad things about you, but that's about it really.

I would get in there first and preempt any action by her. Go in to work and tell then you've broken up with her and she's pretty angry about it. Tell them not to listen to anything she says about you.

Even if she is able to get them to kick you off the internship (doubtful really) that still wouldn't mean deportation or blacklisting.

If she starts spreading lies about you, like really bad lies, then there are the defamation and libel laws you can use against her.

[Asia2000]

OP, read post # 33 and follow it:

Move out, while she's out - Today. Move to other side of the city.

Change phone number - Today.

Tell your manager - Today.

Consider together with manager, if you should inform Immigration and/or Police about her threat.

Might give you a upper hand, if she goes true with this threat.

Don't go to your usual places for food, drink, hang out.

Next time you get a girlfriend, don't tell her any private information, work, visa etc.

[sam sen]

If I can't prove I am doing an internship in Thailand

how could you not prove it?!

... seems like you were dating a lovely girl

[Baerboxer]

Chill out and stop being intimidated! She doesn't want to loose face, people thinking a farang used and then dumped her. Do you pay all the bills etc to?

I know lots of very influential people in many countries, some I consider good friends, some known for a long time. If I asked them to spite someone who pissed me off they'd think I was nuts! Life doesn't actually work like the soaps.

However, if you argue and she looses temper then be very careful - Thai people can have very violent tempers once they flip and hurting or even killing a farang doesn't usually figure high on the police and courts law enforcement agenda. The sympathies would be with her. Keep sleeping with her and you are playing with fire. Make your mind up - break up and go or reconcile and be under her thumb. Because she will throw this tantrum now every time she can't get her own way.

Find a nice lady - plenty about. But, the will, rightly, expect honesty. Not just to be your bed warmer whilst you do your internment.

[recycler]

She really f..ked you up didn't she?

You shouldn't be so nervous if you want to stay in Thailand longer, it's bad for your health!

If you did nothing wrong than just go on with what you are doing and with the next girlfriend try to avoid the raving mad ones and the predator chickens!

[Robininbkk]

I have just called my internship supervisor. Explained my whole situation about my now ex-gf (They all know her in this company). The supervisor said It is up to the manager. So I assume this means I have no saying in this and it is in the hands of my ex, I know she can influence the manager easily, so that is a dead end for sure now. I said I wanted to talk with the manager, they told me he is busy the whole day in meetings. So now I guess she already contacted him and now he is ignoring me.

In addition, I have also send an E-mail to my university in my homecountry, saying I had a problem with this company and I hereby declare the internship failed. I have also gave them all the personal information of my ex to my school, saying that this person might be a grave danger to my well being while I am in Thailand at the moment. I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I hope with this, the uni will contact the Embassy in BKK about this and maybe warrant an arrest for my ex. I really hope they will confine her or at least warn her. So she knows she is exposed to national and international authorities. Am I bein paranoid or is this a sensible thing to do to protect myself?

So now the internship is not of importance to me anymore. I am only worried about any damage she can do to me. I just need to make sure she can't do anything to my Visa that I am holding right now while I am in Thailand at the moment. She treatens me to contact immigration and my home country's embassy to make my visa invalid. She said the company can prove that I never did an internship at that company and deny everything, in this way to make my ED visa Illegal. This worries me.

[ubonjoe]

A reply advocating violence has been removed.

[Neeeko]

Why not just speak with the head of the company you are doing your internship for and tell her that she is being crazy like this and threatening you? Then ask them is this going to be a problem?

[Robininbkk]

In regards of my relationship with her, it is a very complicated one, not very common, at least not as common as I usually heard of farangs/thai relationships. I will need a new tread for that as it is too complex to describe it in a few sentences.

Yes she is still in my apartment, still sleeping at the moment I am typing this on my laptop. Still figuring out what she really wants and what her plan is.

Edit, Thank you Moderator. I do not condone any violence, as it is not in my nature to hurt people, in any way, even if people wants to hurt me, I rather use a non-violent solution. That is why I am asking for advice and thoughts on my problem.I don't know where else I can ask for practial and sensible advice from experienced English speaking Thailand experts on everything Thai related. I am very thankful for the advice given so far, I am surprised I could sleep last night next to her with the sense of danger of bodily harm done to me while sleeping.

Edited January 17, 2014 by Robininbkk

[fredKroket]

If she has a key take it back and change your locks. Worst she can do is plant drugs in your accommodation, it happened to someone I knew and he wound up in prison.

[captspectre]

No, just get a new girlfriend and move on. If they did make a problem about that visa, just leave and get a Tourist Visa until you can get something else organized.

if she got the job for you that means that she knows someone in the company business, and YES she can make a problem for you! nothing is worse than a Thai female who has been discarded!

[cloghead]

Make sure she doesn't have any balloons and helium around the house. The doctor can't sew it back on if it's gone...

(same thing with ducks--although I haven't heard about the wife/gf feeding Little Willie to the quackers in a while)

[recycler]

In regards of my relationship with her, it is a very complicated one, not very common, at least not as common as I usually heard of farangs/thai relationships. I will need a new tread for that as it is too complex to describe it in a few sentences.

Yes she is still in my apartment, still sleeping at the moment I am typing this on my laptop. Still figuring out what she really wants and what her plan is.

Edit, Thank you Moderator. I do not condone any violence, as it is not in my nature to hurt people, in any way, even if people wants to hurt me, I rather use a non-violent solution. That is why I am asking for advice and thoughts on my problem.I don't know where else I can ask for practial and sensible advice from experienced English speaking Thailand experts on everything Thai related. I am very thankful for the advice given so far, I am surprised I could sleep last night next to her with the sense of danger of bodily harm done to me while sleeping.

This is starting to sound like a novel, I think we all would like to know more details!

Anyway of she is still sleeping in your apartment you should lock all knifes and other sharp objects away and make sure she doesn't carry them in her bag! In the heat of a fight or an argument Thais can get rather excited and out of control, I once woke up with a big cooks knife in a girls hand!

If she is still sleeping now, what is her job? And why does she have so much influence in the company of your internship?

Do you have any friends or good colleagues at the company that could balance the scale for you?

Maybe you are just overreacting and will things look different when she wakes up.

[happysanook]

Don't spend another second worrying about this. Just keek doing your thing. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you should have no concern. Even if you weren't, I still wouldn't be concerned.

Don't try to cajole or reason with her. Don't even speak with her.

Edit: don't waste our time. You're still living with this girl? Jesus man. Go. cry somewhere else.

Edited January 17, 2014 by happysanook

[Minnehaha]

And the correct protocol is BEFORE you tell her you're leaving her, have all your ducks in a row as in bags packed and personal <deleted> sorted. Even better, just do a runner while she's out eating or getting her hair done.

Don't continue to share a bed with a woman you've already told you're leaving her. At the very least, remove all sharp and blunt instruments from the apartment.

Never sleep with a woman you had a serious relationship with and have broken up with or have no intention of remaining in the relationship (sorry for poor english).

I know 2 guys who have children now, from situations like this. Girls can give head and save the junk and go to the doctor. or poke hole in condom.

Dude you are making things worse.

Just slip out the back Jack, make a new plan stan, don't need to be coy roy, just get yourself free.

Dont worry about the visa etc. She has less power than she thinks she does.

[LaraC]

Interesting how all the guys jump to the conclusion that the girl is just a nutter, rather than thinking what might the guy have done to make her that mad. In times of stress, emotions can talk rather than logic. If the OP is being paranoid about stupid things like shes gonna cut his dick off, then yes, he either has a real nutter on his hands, or just a very emotionally upset girl who is talking out of desperation. Doesnt make what she is saying ok, but does make me wonder what the OP has done to her. Sounds like she caught him cheating on her (which is the usual reason for dick snipping). So..the girl gets him a job and helps with his visa etc...and then he screws her over by screwing someone else. Yeh..so if thats the case, shes just a nutter and he is down right ..charming..eh.

[geriatrickid]

The immigration department is used to crazy exes making trouble. Its not the first time they'll be contacted by a wack job.

Even if the visa is cancelled, you are given some time to leave. All you do then is a visa a run and come back with a 30 day tourist entry. You clean up your affairs and go from there. Until it happens, don't lose sleep. Keep a low profile away from her. The fact that she has you worried, means she's accomplished her goal.

[arminbkk]

In regards of my relationship with her, it is a very complicated one, not very common, at least not as common as I usually heard of farangs/thai relationships. I will need a new tread for that as it is too complex to describe it in a few sentences.

.......

You should explain that briefly here so TV members will have a better understanding of what exactly you are dealing with.

It would explain why she is still sleeping in your bed even though you write she is your ex now.

OP, the only 'play card' she is holding is her contact at that Thai company you are doing your internship at.

To what extent is she friends with the manager and other people there? How is your relationship with the manager?

What is her connection with the people there?

Your ex gf is angry and that is why she is making all these threats.

Anyway, you have already posted now that you informed your university that you quit your internship due to relationship problems.

However, you did not inform the Thai company that you quit, instead you have asked to speak to the manager.

Why did you not first try to work things out with the manager and if that fails then inform your university? Would be a more logical order of actions.

[geriatrickid]

Just beat her up

She can make false claim you hit her and that will be it for you, thrown ont of Thailand never to return,

Be careful, be very very careful.

In a country where domestic violence is common and tolerated, unless there is evidence of the assault she's wasting her time.

One has to be charged and then found guilty.

[hgma]

My children have a depended visa based on extension of retirement.

So has my (Foreign) wife.

IF i need to be depended on a depended visa in these region's......, 'Im off!

[dizx]

I think you are totally overreacting. This is quite common behavior when a Thai girls loses face, in this case relationship is about to end. Just stay calm. Don't do say or do anything stupid to your employer or university. This is will all go away by itself. Break up with the girl. Say you are very sorry. Stop contacting her. Do your duties with the company. I'm sure it will all be ok.

My friend dated a celebrity. When they broke up, she wanted big money for loss of face, she threatened with black list, military and God what not. In the end nothing happened.

Good luck! :-)

[yourauntbob]

I do have and am on a ED visa for 1 year. I am really doing an internship in a Thai company which is part of my study in my university in my home country.

I was wondering wether I can protect myself, should she really try to make problems for me at immigration. If a Thai wants a farang deported or jailed or blacklisted on imigration. what would she do?

Think about this, what can she really do? IF she does have contacts she might be able to get you fired but that would not cause any issue for you with immigration, you would need to leave and get a tourist visa. your embassy doesnt care one way or another, their not here to be immigaration police for Thailand, they are here for YOU and to be immigartion police for your country.

most likely she is blowing smoke. Thai women (sorry for the generalization) are hot heads when it comes to break ups. the two girls i broke up with both threatened to kill me, cut my unit off, and tell the police i was working on a tourist visa etc................. but nothing ever came of it. if you just act like an adult more than likely it will blow over. i actually have seen the one a few times around town and she now gives me a hug and asks me how i am doing.

rest easy, even your worst case senerio isnt all that bad. she may stalk you for a whlle so be prepared for that............

[wprime]

Welcome to the land of smiles - most likely your ex will spread some lies about you in an attempt to convince your boss to help her. Once she does, get a lawyer to file a criminal defamation suit. Don't do this if she has money however.

[chrisinth]

Quote

I have just called my internship supervisor. Explained my whole situation about my now ex-gf (They all know her in this company). The supervisor said It is up to the manager. So I assume this means I have no saying in this and it is in the hands of my ex, I know she can influence the manager easily, so that is a dead end for sure now. I said I wanted to talk with the manager, they told me he is busy the whole day in meetings. So now I guess she already contacted him and now he is ignoring me.

In addition, I have also send an E-mail to my university in my homecountry, saying I had a problem with this company and I hereby declare the internship failed. I have also gave them all the personal information of my ex to my school, saying that this person might be a grave danger to my well being while I am in Thailand at the moment. I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I hope with this, the uni will contact the Embassy in BKK about this and maybe warrant an arrest for my ex. I really hope they will confine her or at least warn her. So she knows she is exposed to national and international authorities. Am I bein paranoid or is this a sensible thing to do to protect myself?

So now the internship is not of importance to me anymore. I am only worried about any damage she can do to me. I just need to make sure she can't do anything to my Visa that I am holding right now while I am in Thailand at the moment. She treatens me to contact immigration and my home country's embassy to make my visa invalid. She said the company can prove that I never did an internship at that company and deny everything, in this way to make my ED visa Illegal. This worries me.

You actually had some sympathy from me up to this point. I am reading a different story now.

If you have already declared your internship as a failure to your home university, without establishing what is going to happen with your sponsor company here, it would suggest to me that you don't really want the opportunity and are using your current situation as an excuse to step away.

Only what I'm seeing, and admit that I could be reading to far into it. I'm assuming that you are in your early 20's and perhaps do not have the experience to make more of a stand for what you have, but find that submission works better.

You will find that the road ahead will have a lot more bigger bumps than this little hump that you are trying to get over................

[Sam Gold]

She said that to save face.

She won't do anything because that would require effort.

I wouldn't worry.