"mismatched couples" - definition?

[Daniel Boon]

jacksam and danmarnj ...

like you posts... women who have lived, know that the 'high-flyers' are just as faithful as a bar-girl still wanting to make her fortune ... logic

[ggt]

when He wears sneakers and a red plaid shirt...and She wears high-heels and a gown...

[NoshowJones]

Just for the record , I am Scottish and we are all good looking... must be the water....

[Daniel Boon]

robertthebruce ... its not water you're drinking, and its making you think everybody is good looking ...

[NoshowJones]

Just for the record , I am Scottish and we are all good looking... must be the water....

Join the club, except I didn't sing along to the Bay City Rollers. I could not do the Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la- shoobee-doo-ah bit.

[chrisinth]

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yeah I know anyone who says anything about old farts buying young wives, is either a dumb beefed up young guy or a bitter Western woman.

The fact remains, it is neither of them that got the OP writing : It was a 21 yo Lukkrung girl she said "it is not right", so don't come and lecture me about my imaginary bitterness.

The OP said quote, "Today I am spending time on some islands with a gorgeous, childless 27 year old, white skinned Lao girl and I notice many men (Thai and farang) stare at her, for one reason being its an odd sight as in the west, she would normally be with a guy much better looking and in his early 30's."

IMHO, the OP is putting himself in the same classification as the group of westerners he is trying to figure out.

I also can't remember the last time I saw "a gorgeous, childless (or not) 27 yo, white skinned Lao girl" on a beach in Thailand, unless 'she' still had 'her' dangly bits or was dressed up like a welder, mask and all..................

[LaraC]

OK first up I'm late 50,s but pretty fit The Thai gf is 29. The thing is it does not matter if I was not fit of had a limp or whatever. I'm sick of younger blokes on here implying that the old farts have girls because of their money and ability to "take care" Get your head out of clouds if you didn't have some means to support her she would go near you. Yes I'm talking to you tom cruise or the pumped up dim wits. Its about one thing SUPPORT. After that they give it back in spades, even if pushing your wheel chair.

I had a boyfriend I was in love with, I refused to marry him because he was a millionaire (in Euro). He was my age, he was a successful professional, and handsome.

The family was always in the middle with their cash telling us how to live our lives

Money means selling your backside like a piece of meat, given up your principles, your beliefs, and eventually your soul.

you are coming across like a bitter Western or Westernized female, perhaps living in Thailand, that frequently observes older Western men with much younger Thai women, and this bothers you.

Many, if not most older Western men have settled or visit Thailand (not for the culture, infrastructure, climate, or scenery) but to be with younger females who adhere to the traditional (pre women's lib) values of women taking care of the home, children and physical needs, while the man is the breadwinner and provides home, food and money. Most men are not so self-deluded to believe they are God's gift to these women in the physical sense. Both parties benefit from this arrangement. After a period of time, genuine affection may occur between these "mismatched" couples

She doesnt come across as bitter, she comes across as someone who made a decision that was based on the whole picture rather than what she could gain financially. For, quality of life in its complete sense meant more to her than being controlled by money.

I think you will also find that it is usually the men (or males ..since you wish to sound like a nature documentary) that are the onces with chips on shoulders and are bitter, rather than westernized/western women.

Ok so you say that men who come to Thailand are here for the traditional female "values", but strangely enough most seem not to choose a women with values that are closer to their own age...who i am sure has much much more "traditional values". THe old dudes instead choose girls that are much MUCH younger than them, whos "traditional values" generally involve tapping on a smartphone/ipad, taking multiple selfie shots and messing around constantly on Line and Facebook. Usually at every given opportunity, including when sitting across in a restaurant. I see it constantly. Whyzat i wonder? Maybe the connection/affection isnt quite as matched as you state..?

[LaraC]

Hello cliches :5 minutes ago i was a young guy with muscles, now i said I am a woman I have to be bitter and western.

They don't adhere to traditional values, they just want a ticket out of here.

Why do you think we have so many stories about men being dumped the minute the wife gets full visa?

My dear woman that is another country. This is Thailand. The male (target) moves to a small farming village here and buys the lady a mansion. Thai women are like fragile tropical flowers and wilt in other countries.

Perhaps you are thinking of war brides from WWII?

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

[thailiketoo]

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

The population of the Philippines is roughly the same as Thailand. Yet there are a thousand times as many Filipinos in America as Thai people. 3.4 million to 234 thousand.

Do you know why? Thai people don't move. Thai people like Thailand.

Thai women and Philippine women both are known for May/December relationships. But Thai women stay home and the man comes to Thailand and Philippine women move to the man's country.

It has nothing to do with security of a farming village. Thai women like Thai men so anywhere in Thailand would be less secure from a fidelity standpoint.

[metaben]

Is it possible that there is a negative hallo effect, whereby an old big man with a young small girl looks even older and bigger and she looks younger and prettier???

[wym]

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The tiny fraction that are willing to leave Thailand are more likely to be able to benefit from the opportunities there.

And yes once they realize the quality of guys is 5000x better among those that stay over there compared to the old guys that come here for a wife, it's true that many head for greener pastures once the green card clears.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

Why oh why does every couple have to have a predator and a victim?

I see that scenario very different, in my considerable experience most guys that are out there living with the inlaws are nearly always there because that's what the wife wants, not what he wants.

You do realize Thais are very very strongly family oriented?

I consider this a MAJOR mistake it's ESSENTIAL to get her away - at least eight hours travel away - from her support network so you have a chance to establish your own new family unit.

You might call it being an abusive chauvinistic control freak, but to me it's just wearing the pants as we should - and that's the only way to earn her respect as well.

[atyclb]

OK first up I'm late 50,s but pretty fit The Thai gf is 29. The thing is it does not matter if I was not fit of had a limp or whatever. I'm sick of younger blokes on here implying that the old farts have girls because of their money and ability to "take care" Get your head out of clouds if you didn't have some means to support her she would go near you. Yes I'm talking to you tom cruise or the pumped up dim wits. Its about one thing SUPPORT. After that they give it back in spades, even if pushing your wheel chair.

I had a boyfriend I was in love with, I refused to marry him because he was a millionaire (in Euro). He was my age, he was a successful professional, and handsome.

The family was always in the middle with their cash telling us how to live our lives

Money means selling your backside like a piece of meat, given up your principles, your beliefs, and eventually your soul.

Had same sex marriage been available at that time in europe would it have influenced your decision?

[Daniel Boon]

geez ... these girls are on a hiding to nothing ... if they stay, it's because the family controls them better; if they move overseas, they just want the 'green card' (who in their right f'kin mind would want to live in America; but I am sure one of you know-it-alls will tell me ... a la Peter n Joy) [and who wants to be kicked to the curb (old people's home) by their kids anyway]

if an older / bigger bloke is with them, they look smaller and cute (how many non-Thai wifes are taller than their husband overseas?)

they can't have a proper relationship, its all for convenience ... (not that western women would ever do that !)

either one is exploiting the other, but never the comparative of westerners doing the same.

There are some really sad fcuks on TV ... and fortunately for TV, some rational philosophical people not rankled with bitterness ...

[simple1]

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

The population of the Philippines is roughly the same as Thailand. Yet there are a thousand times as many Filipinos in America as Thai people. 3.4 million to 234 thousand.

Do you know why? Thai people don't move. Thai people like Thailand.

Thai women and Philippine women both are known for May/December relationships. But Thai women stay home and the man comes to Thailand and Philippine women move to the man's country.

It has nothing to do with security of a farming village. Thai women like Thai men so anywhere in Thailand would be less secure from a fidelity standpoint.

Out of the roughly 2 million Filipino females residing in the US how many entered the US via marriage/relationship sponsorship?

Edited March 1, 2014 by simple1

[atyclb]

to the contrary, the old guy with the hottie i find is regularly rare here unless he has something going for him - money, style or a mixture of both.

Far more common is the old guy by the pool, on the street, shopping or in a restaurant with a somewhat battle scarred and dour faced country woman of very little visible charm or appeal. Thing is, he may think he has a good deal, but for me it would cruel and unusual punishment.

I think if you go back to your own country you will see a hell of a lot more old guys shopping or in restaurants with battle scarred and dour faced women of very little charm or appeal....a lot more. Furthermore; the women here are far more likely to be better cooks, carers and companions than a lot of Western 'liberated' women. You would do well to remember that 'Beauty is only skin deep'.

The indoctrinated "perpetual smile" limited social skills, limited intellectual acumen, and occasional limited cooking ability would certainly support your statement 'Beauty is only skin deep'. Exceptions noted.

Perhaps your theory is if you are going to pay to support her you may as well have the exterior appearance of of a smiling charming younger slimmer gal?

Much of the expat population is "oh so dynamic"

[thailiketoo]

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

The population of the Philippines is roughly the same as Thailand. Yet there are a thousand times as many Filipinos in America as Thai people. 3.4 million to 234 thousand.

Do you know why? Thai people don't move. Thai people like Thailand.

Thai women and Philippine women both are known for May/December relationships. But Thai women stay home and the man comes to Thailand and Philippine women move to the man's country.

It has nothing to do with security of a farming village. Thai women like Thai men so anywhere in Thailand would be less secure from a fidelity standpoint.

Out of the roughly 2 million Filipino females residing in the US how many entered the US via marriage/relationship sponsorship?

Out of the 234 thousand Thais living in America, how many entered on a marriage/relationship sponsorship?

See what I am saying? I see no large difference between the two countries in romantic relationships except the Filipinos expect money sent home from abroad and Thais don't.

The people from the Philippines know life is better abroad. Thais know life is better at home.

Thai doctors that study in America go home when finished (IMHO) and Philippine doctors stay in America.

[atyclb]

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

The population of the Philippines is roughly the same as Thailand. Yet there are a thousand times as many Filipinos in America as Thai people. 3.4 million to 234 thousand.

Do you know why? Thai people don't move. Thai people like Thailand.

Thai women and Philippine women both are known for May/December relationships. But Thai women stay home and the man comes to Thailand and Philippine women move to the man's country.

It has nothing to do with security of a farming village. Thai women like Thai men so anywhere in Thailand would be less secure from a fidelity standpoint.

Out of the roughly 2 million Filipino females residing in the US how many entered the US via marriage/relationship sponsorship?

Probably not an insignificant % but the number of philipino nurses that passed tough exams in nursing and english and got green cards is very significant and likely represents the highest % of immigrant RN's. philippine nurses are part of the usa nursing backbone. aside from a few thai nurses and doctors i know from usa i do not know that thai immigrants in masse form an essential backbone of anything??? Do you???

[Pix]

A

Edited March 1, 2014 by Pix

[Pix]

A

Edited March 1, 2014 by Pix

[Pix]

thailiketoo, on 01 Mar 2014 - 01:24, said:

Thai women are like fragile tropical flowers and wilt in other countries.

True words. Seen it happen to Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese girls. They become bannans, yellow on the outside, (culturally) white on the inside.

[wym]

The people from the Philippines know life is better abroad. Thais know life is better at home.

Thai doctors that study in America go home when finished (IMHO) and Philippine doctors stay in America.

Valuing enjoying life as opposed to striving for wealth.

Philippines were long a colony of very ambitious hard-working cultures.

[desmondspencer]

In a feeble attempt to answer your

title question, below is what I can conjure up

Age gap too wide or even make up the numeral 10 while side-by-side

Then again, doesn't LOVE work in mysterious ways?

somtam palah

[simple1]

Haha..i dunno about that. Seems to me that once you take the "fragile tropical flower" (scoff lol!) out of Thailand, they BLOOM. They bloom so much that they end up happily allowing someone else to pick them and take them away.

The logic of why an old guy would keep the Thai woman firmly fixed in the small farming village is pretty clear, and has zero to do with wilting.

The population of the Philippines is roughly the same as Thailand. Yet there are a thousand times as many Filipinos in America as Thai people. 3.4 million to 234 thousand.

Do you know why? Thai people don't move. Thai people like Thailand.

Thai women and Philippine women both are known for May/December relationships. But Thai women stay home and the man comes to Thailand and Philippine women move to the man's country.

It has nothing to do with security of a farming village. Thai women like Thai men so anywhere in Thailand would be less secure from a fidelity standpoint.

Out of the roughly 2 million Filipino females residing in the US how many entered the US via marriage/relationship sponsorship?

Out of the 234 thousand Thais living in America, how many entered on a marriage/relationship sponsorship?

See what I am saying? I see no large difference between the two countries in romantic relationships except the Filipinos expect money sent home from abroad and Thais don't.

The people from the Philippines know life is better abroad. Thais know life is better at home.

Thai doctors that study in America go home when finished (IMHO) and Philippine doctors stay in America.

Yes understand your point. As we are discussing female/male relationships Thai women who are friends of my wife when living in Australia (don't know about circumstances in the US) in the majority prefer living in Oz for quality of living and so on. I am referring to those living in stable relationships, working etc Most send money to parents. A lot are completely over demands from extended family & no longer help them out.

[atyclb]

OK first up I'm late 50,s but pretty fit The Thai gf is 29. The thing is it does not matter if I was not fit of had a limp or whatever. I'm sick of younger blokes on here implying that the old farts have girls because of their money and ability to "take care" Get your head out of clouds if you didn't have some means to support her she would go near you. Yes I'm talking to you tom cruise or the pumped up dim wits. Its about one thing SUPPORT. After that they give it back in spades, even if pushing your wheel chair.

I had a boyfriend I was in love with, I refused to marry him because he was a millionaire (in Euro). He was my age, he was a successful professional, and handsome.

The family was always in the middle with their cash telling us how to live our lives

Money means selling your backside like a piece of meat, given up your principles, your beliefs, and eventually your soul.

you are coming across like a bitter Western or Westernized female, perhaps living in Thailand, that frequently observes older Western men with much younger Thai women, and this bothers you.

Many, if not most older Western men have settled or visit Thailand (not for the culture, infrastructure, climate, or scenery) but to be with younger females who adhere to the traditional (pre women's lib) values of women taking care of the home, children and physical needs, while the man is the breadwinner and provides home, food and money. Most men are not so self-deluded to believe they are God's gift to these women in the physical sense. Both parties benefit from this arrangement. After a period of time, genuine affection may occur between these "mismatched" couples

To paraphrase "in a relationship based in financial disparity and support hoping dysfunction will evolve into function (affection)

[smotherb]

how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?

None, unless they're deluded, in which case we will soon find them in the " The Thai wife left me the minute she got her visa/after stealing all my money" section.

Is that really the reason so many falang men do not want to take their wives/gfs to their home country? I think you are missing out on a great opportunity to show your loved one the real you.

I hear so many complainers say their wives think they are made of money. If she sees where you come from and knows the money you have, she may not be so eager to spend it all--that is, if she really cares for you and wants a relationship.

[Scottythai]

you are coming across like a bitter Western or Westernized female, perhaps living in Thailand, that frequently observes older Western men with much younger Thai women, and this bothers you.

Many, if not most older Western men have settled or visit Thailand (not for the culture, infrastructure, climate, or scenery) but to be with younger females who adhere to the traditional (pre women's lib) values of women taking care of the home, children and physical needs, while the man is the breadwinner and provides home, food and money. Most men are not so self-deluded to believe they are God's gift to these women in the physical sense. Both parties benefit from this arrangement. After a period of time, genuine affection may occur between these "mismatched" couples

Hello cliches :5 minutes ago i was a young guy with muscles, now i said I am a woman I have to be bitter and western.

They don't adhere to traditional values, they just want a ticket out of here.

Why do you think we have so many stories about men being dumped the minute the wife gets full visa?

Post #17, you said you once had a boyfriend....,so Im assuming you are a woman as a gay guy would not care about this topic. If you read my post, i stated that many men move to Thailand (not take women to other countries, which I agree with you is a recipe for disaster is a vast age difference). I would like to know why you come across as bitter when you see the old guys with young ladies?

Shall remind you the OP: it's a 21yo lukkrung who said 'it's not right' Is she also bitter?

You sure like driving the Lukkrung part home. Sure like to stab the your only a 1/2 ie. Nice go back to being bitter and quit trying to act superior.

[smotherb]

Thai women are like fragile tropical flowers and wilt in other countries.

Noooooooooooooooooo ... say it isn't so ...

note to self ... cancel Shrimp Girl's Visa application with the Embassy on Monday.

Thanks thailiketoo ... you've just saved me from a world of hurt ...

Compare and contrast Thai women with women from the Philippines.

3.4 million Filipinos in America. 69% born in Philippines.

234 thousand Thais in America.

Apples and oranges my friend. The Philippines was a US colony and had close ties even after independence. Many Filipinos served in the US forces, which gave them entrance to the US. Over the long colonial and independent period, many US-Filipino marriages evolved. Additionally, the economy in the PI is so bad, even well-educated Filipinos cannot find work. Consequently, Filipinos of all socio-economic standings want out and the US is the first choice. None of that can be said for the Thais.

[HooHaa]

I don't think human beings need to be "matched" in superficial aspects like age appearance class race religion, as if they were furniture or part of a cutlery set.

It's this kind of judgmental attitude that "just isn't right".

Who people choose to get together with and their reasons aren't for others to judge or make snide comments about.

Western women have known for a long time they are on the losing side when looking for a mate, it's been a buyer's market for a long time for men.

Those of us left with only stale goods for choices go to another market is all.

far from being judgmental i simply believe there should be a modicum of commonality there.

given your remarks about western women in the next two sentences, id have to call you a hypocrite.

[pistachios]

In the south of Phuket I regularly see mismatched couples but not the ones OP is thinking about.

Jaw-dropping beautiful russian women, still with a perfect shape even carrying two kids, with an ugly and grumpy russian husband with a huge beer belly. The complete reverse of the usual married couple in my country

Young (mid 20s to mid 30s) western guys, reasonably handsome, fit, in a relationship with a retired, bordering ugly 35 to 45 years old bargirl. This one is hard to understand. Maybe they have a great personality and are like a goddess in bed. It's even harder for thais I think, I'm pretty sure they cannot fathom what this attractive young man is doing with a woman no motorbike taxi would want to be seen with.

Edited March 1, 2014 by pistachios

[khunPer]

I must be “too sexy”: My Thai GF is (only) 31 years younger than me, but the Western tourist girls (7 – 9.5) who comes and dance with me, hug me, touch me and sometimes kiss me or even button my shirt up in the discos are younger than my GF…

Most of the young Thai girls (I prefers) are much more subtle and only dance and smile; Okay a few wants to hug me…

In the West it is Okay for an elder man to have a young gorgeous GF/wife if he is famous or rich (best if both) – anyone else seems just to be an “old pig” (not even mismatch). I think a difference between Western countries and Thailand – or Southeast Asia in general – is, that many girls here are taught that en elder man is a better provider; love comes later if he can provide for a family. Remember what many Thai ladies say: »You good man...!« which we all know the meaning off. In Western countries today, most women are independent and can take care of themselves, they don’t need a provider anymore – unless he is a billionaire or something close to that – so their demand for the “dream prince on the white horse” is that much higher.

Another thing is, that some of those (men) who say “mismatch” may just envy and wish it was themselves having a young gorgeous looking Asian girlfriend.

And what about the farang “cougars” with younger Thai men; do we men – ourselves having a younger Thai GF/wife – look at them as a mismatched couple?