Will I survive in Issan?

[jimbeam1]

Unless you enjoy watching rice grow and talking to chickens, don't do it.

You're 70 years old man. Do what makes you happy -- you've earned it. Why would you put yourself through the torment of living in a Thai village? It's not going to fun for you. Spend your golden years in a place that you want to live in -- not where some Thai woman wants to live.

Again, you have 70 years on this planet. You've earned the right to do what makes YOU happy.

And there it ends. But up to you.

jb1

[Asiantravel]

Does your wife make all the life changing decisions? You seem to have many valid points against a move...

AND, why can't you stay where you are and your wife go home at weekends ? Or are you going to be the weekly carer, financier for the extended family. ?

nail on the head

dont fall for it OP

[ozzydom]

Does your wife make all the life changing decisions? You seem to have many valid points against a move...

AND, why can't you stay where you are and your wife go home at weekends ? Or are you going to be the weekly carer, financier for the extended family. ?

nail on the head

dont fall for it OP

Ditto

[drand11]

You sure you/ she cant pay a person to live in/ help parents and you both live your lives? If you said "No", is she leaving your ass? My opinion is if she loves you so much that she would leave (with no support from you), then truly, why go? I dont buy into the craziny "Give up your future" to be a caretaker.

[MobileContent]

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Yeah if you are a city type of guy it might be tough. I like to get out and about and do things. walk and have a lok around and meet some people and have a yarn. I dont mean bars and stuff every day.

I went out to the girlfriends village for 10 days and it was one of the most boring things I have done in Thailand.

No one spoke English and I dont speak thai much so that was that. internet was not much good and really there was nothing to do at all. Crap toilet, had to sit on the ground to eat, hot. you think it muight be quiet out there but noise all the time.

The girlfriend suggested later that we should build a house and live there near her family. I laughed so much it hurt my stomach. I felt bad I luaghed at her but it was funny she could even ask me. I pay most of the bills so we'll be staying the places I like,

I know some people like the village and maybe they were country boys or something but if you are used to the city life it is as boring as watching paint dry. You are 70 mate and you must know by now what type of life you want.

Why should locals speak English when you are in Thailand? You are living in Thailand and it surely is expected by foreigners that live in Australia to speak at least basic English.

Regarding you had to sit on the local toilet or you had to sit on the floor during eating. You could have just go to the local wat and borrow yourself a plastic chair for the 10 days you were at that village. Is money is not a problem for you you could have just bought for 100-150 Baht a cheap plastic chair.

I have been working in Bangkok over 20 years, KL 4 years and Singapore 2 years plus assignments in HCM City, Beijing, Shanghai, Jakarta and Dubai and I appreciate village life also of course I do have air-cons and all the likes I bought that can keep myself up to the life in a big city. I miss really nothing that a city can provide me here in a village. 16km away is a Tecso, 50km away I have my tops supermarket.

I wake up with the chickens and go sleep at 10pm. Internet could be quicker but then again 7.2Mb is not bad at all for village life.

I think the most important factor is if you partner (GF or wife) is a good match. If it is a good match and you have no stress coming from either your partner or her family life can be great.

[Thaddeus]

Different stokes.

No one can tell you if you should do it or not, only give you their own experiences.

When I first moved here, coming up to ten years ago, I had just left a very stressful job (chop, chop, busy, busy, work, work, bang, bang..... if you recall the old ad) and for the first couple of weeks it was a blessed relief. Then the feeling of I should be doing something started nagging at me.

I was in the process of selling my property in the UK at the time, so I was totally reliant on wifey if I needed to go anywhere (no money to buy a car and didn't want a motosai) wifey was usually busy helping the MIL every day, and after a couple of months, I started to go slowly insane, and, I'll be honest, I was fast becoming an alcoholic.

Then, I got an internet connection, it was IPStar, therefore not that good, but it was a lifeline. Later, once the house was sold, bought a car and things improved drastically.

Wifey and I separated around five years ago, so I now live a little bit closer to town, but still in the sticks.

When I wake up in the morning, usually at a time when I feel like, if I want to do something with the day, I can do, if I need to go out for anything, I can do, but if I don't feel like doing anything, I have the freedom to do that also.

One thing I have discovered, that whatever I do, does tend to expand to fill the day.

If you do decide to build a house near the in-laws, I do have a couple of bits of advice though.

Buy a padlock for the fridge.

Teach the in-laws that, if the doors are closed, knock, don't just sail straight in. MIL did that once when wifey and I were enjoying some afternoon delight on the sofa..... she knocked every time after that.

[MobileContent]

To the OP if your wife stays in RE that with her and visit the families during weekend.

I have been to Roi Et and it is a nice place.

[Loptr]

Lot's of good advice on both sides of this argument. It's up to he OP to decide what is best for him and his extended family. Personally, I would have a problem with the wife "informing" me that she is moving back to the family farm without asking me for my feelings on the move, but that's me as I have a hard time taking orders from anyone.

[Ricky from Brisbane]

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Yeah if you are a city type of guy it might be tough. I like to get out and about and do things. walk and have a lok around and meet some people and have a yarn. I dont mean bars and stuff every day.

I went out to the girlfriends village for 10 days and it was one of the most boring things I have done in Thailand.

No one spoke English and I dont speak thai much so that was that. internet was not much good and really there was nothing to do at all. Crap toilet, had to sit on the ground to eat, hot. you think it muight be quiet out there but noise all the time.

The girlfriend suggested later that we should build a house and live there near her family. I laughed so much it hurt my stomach. I felt bad I luaghed at her but it was funny she could even ask me. I pay most of the bills so we'll be staying the places I like,

I know some people like the village and maybe they were country boys or something but if you are used to the city life it is as boring as watching paint dry. You are 70 mate and you must know by now what type of life you want.

Why should locals speak English when you are in Thailand? You are living in Thailand and it surely is expected by foreigners that live in Australia to speak at least basic English.

Regarding you had to sit on the local toilet or you had to sit on the floor during eating. You could have just go to the local wat and borrow yourself a plastic chair for the 10 days you were at that village. Is money is not a problem for you you could have just bought for 100-150 Baht a cheap plastic chair.

I have been working in Bangkok over 20 years, KL 4 years and Singapore 2 years plus assignments in HCM City, Beijing, Shanghai, Jakarta and Dubai and I appreciate village life also of course I do have air-cons and all the likes I bought that can keep myself up to the life in a big city. I miss really nothing that a city can provide me here in a village. 16km away is a Tecso, 50km away I have my tops supermarket.

I wake up with the chickens and go sleep at 10pm. Internet could be quicker but then again 7.2Mb is not bad at all for village life.

I think the most important factor is if you partner (GF or wife) is a good match. If it is a good match and you have no stress coming from either your partner or her family life can be great.

A lot of you blokes down in issan land are very very sensitive it seems like.

Where did i say they have to speak English? Its their village they should speak what they want and i dont expect them to speak Englaish. Like i said i want to speak English with people and i dont get that in a village. im not going to struggle along in some issan language. As for foreigners in australia i dont care what they speak but if they want to come to me and ask something they'll have to speak english if they want my help.

the chair like i said I wouldnt want someone bringing a chair to my place saying your furniture is no good so i wouldnt do that to them. Thats how they eat but and i dont want to do it like that and i dont need to do it like that. It dont matter it was 10 days and i'd never live back in that village for more than a few days ever again.

its a very common mistake that a lot of guys like you make. Just because you live in thailand that doesnt mean you have to do everythign a thai person does.

[Leung Falang]

I have been married to my Isaan wife for 22 years, the first ten in Hong Kong and other big cities in Asia/South America. We retired to a home in Texas in the USA but began coming here (Isaan) for trips of 6 to 10 weeks 9 years ago. We spend half of that time in the village but a good sized ampur was only 2 miles away. It was hot and boring even with a great wife (I spoke little Thai then). We finally decided to move to Mukdahan, state capital, about 25 miles away and bought a home 4+ years ago. We love the larger city so now come for six months or so at a time.

Roi Et is a nice town to live in, but I personally would avoid the village like the plague since it is 24 km away-I would put up with 10 km if the roads were ok. How about internet? Is it ok or only via cell tower?

Many Thai parents are no different than farang parents-they get lonely and want lots of personal attention, especially in the village. They don't really require it 95% of the time.

I would stay in Roi Et with my son and help him with his education-he will know little from village schools. My wife could visit as she chose. :

Best wishes....

[dotpoom]

I would find it extremely difficult to make the change you describe, not so much that I wouldn't be in contact with other farangs but I like to be at least within 30 mins. of some town or other where I can do the things that towns or cities provide ...like shopping malls, restaurants or sit down for a coffee and just watch the world go by. Maybe you could give it a try if you wish, if it doesn't work out simply move back, you are a free man and the choice is yours...nothing is permanent and you at least will have no doubts about whether you should have or shouldn't have gone.

[davidmann]

NO don't go ,i tried it moved away from thailand, tried living on Farm in the UK ,that drove me Mad ,if you like city ,stay in city ,with a beach ,walk about enjoy what life has to offer ,lot of us to old to suffer after life time at work ,

[BanTamo]

Hard to say how you'd do. Seems like the clear majority of responses recommend against it. But it really does come down to you, your sense of adventure, your tolerance of absolutely alien situations and personal status, and your health.

I spent a little over three years from age 40 in a tiny moo baan of very basic buildings of wood, thatch, and corrugated steel about 10km from Amphur Nam Yuen, itself a couple of hours drive from Amphur Muang Ubon Ratchathani. We were considered 'dek rai' (farm kids) whilst people from Nam Yuen proper are 'dek amphur' (townies). That I always found amusing.

It was certainly a challenge for one accustomed to living in Manhattan, Rome, Hong Kong, and Bangkok. At times it was stultifying, but far more often I found it to be a delight. I found I adjusted to the heat within a day or two of my return from places with air conditioning. I had to be careful with the food as I'm not big on 'kai mot daeng' but in many ways I took to the local cuisine quite happily. I can't agree with an OP above who recommends a stay of 48 hours to determine suitability. For me it took much longer, and at the outset I found I couldn't hack it so I rented a huge home in Ubon for THB6,000 a month and made longer and longer visits to the farm. Once the house was habitable I was ready for the plunge. I don't regret it.

I very much enjoyed designing and building my own small home in a way that allowed me to refine my long dormant woodworking skills. I have never cared much for the squat toilet, regardless of the much touted health benefits it provides. One day I set off alone on a sangteo for the town of Det Udom about an hour away, where I purchased a western style sit toilet. It was quite the conversation starter on the way back. My little construction project probably cost me about USD 10k over the three years I was there (quite a bit less than I'd spend over a similar period in Hong Kong or even Bangkok engaged rather less productive entertainment). The project became quite well known in the vicinity and I spent many a delightful evening entertaining inquisitive visitors over Lao Khao and Kloster Bier.

While I spoke Thai reasonably well before I took the plunge, I emerged from the experience with a better command of 'phasa Isaan' and 'phasa Lao' than almost all of my Thai friends from the Big Mango. I shudder to think what such a life might be like without fairly well developed language abilities.

I made the occasional expedition to Bangkok and Hong Kong, but enjoyed increasingly lengthy stays at the farm. I once went almost a year without leaving the Changwat or seeing a non-Thai other than during the odd trip to Pakse. And that, to me, was a big plus.

Finally, I discovered I needed a second surgery for a condition that had been incompletely handled by a very well known British doctor at the best private hospital in Hong Kong. I elected to use Sumpasit, the regional public hospital, over the various private facilities. The procedure was flawless, the nurses were lovely, and even the food was OK. I spent several days recuperating there and was indeed rendered speechless by how much better the entire stay was than it had been in Hong Kong.

Was it noisy, difficult, and uncomfortable at times? Yes it was. Was it a pleasant experience overall? Yes, very much so. Do I regret spending money on a home I would only really live in for a couple of years? Not in the least.

If you like to read, can maintain a conversation in Thai, and can take an interest in the infinite goings on, I think you may find it a blessing to live out your days in such a situation. I know I would and I'm fairly sure I will.

Edited March 15, 2014 by BanTamo

[dao16]

I think you would definitely be better off living in the town. Rent an apartment in town where there are a few foreign restaurants and enough foreigners around (can't predict whether you will like them or not, but they are there).

It depends on how much time you expect your wife to stay with you. For example, how would she (and you) feel about living in a small apartment or house in Loi Et town and then maybe go out alone (or sometimes with you) to visit her parents 2 or 3 days a week? That, you guys will have to answer on your own. Remember that her family will probably come and visit as well, unless you strictly say you don't want them at your rental.

Of course, this also depends on your health. If you are still all personally able to do your daily living tasks, a day or two off from the wife can be nice--you can use those days for longer spells at the foreigner places.

I know there is a site called loietfalang, too, so look that up and see what is happening there.

Anyway, bottom line, I think the village life could get really dull (especially based on what you wrote). I speak Thai and Laos to a decent level, love the food and am friendly with all the relatives, but I still get bored out there. Being in Loi Et should be nice, but it sounds like you might like the village 24km down the road instead of having the town 24 k down the road--that way at least you could walk around, window shop, have a coffee and even meet some thais and falangs who speak English.

Well, good luck with it.

[stephenterry]

Try it and see. Just give yourself an escape route if it doesn't work out. Talk it through with your wife - maybe suggest you rent in Roi-Et town before committing to village life. It seems an ok place. You have the money - you have the power. And I like the suggestions of a fallback to Udon or Khon Kaen - there you'll have all the facilities available - even lady bar, ha ha.

I think as long as I support my wife, she won't mind me living outside her home - providing she can visit family. BTW -air pollution in Chiang Mai is dreadful this time of year.

[Benmart]

Yeah if you are a city type of guy it might be tough. I like to get out and about and do things. walk and have a lok around and meet some people and have a yarn. I dont mean bars and stuff every day.

I went out to the girlfriends village for 10 days and it was one of the most boring things I have done in Thailand.

No one spoke English and I dont speak thai much so that was that. internet was not much good and really there was nothing to do at all. Crap toilet, had to sit on the ground to eat, hot. you think it muight be quiet out there but noise all the time.

The girlfriend suggested later that we should build a house and live there near her family. I laughed so much it hurt my stomach. I felt bad I luaghed at her but it was funny she could even ask me. I pay most of the bills so we'll be staying the places I like,

I know some people like the village and maybe they were country boys or something but if you are used to the city life it is as boring as watching paint dry. You are 70 mate and you must know by now what type of life you want.

As I said in an earlier post I am nearly 70 and I have lived and worked in cities, towns and villages in 38 countries across the world. I was born a townie in England many years ago.

You appear to be a man of closed eyes and ears and not willing to move out of YOUR comfort zone.

I pay ALL of the bills from my Thai wife, son and the family who live with us but I don't make a big song and dance about it.

I speak very little Thai as I am partly deaf but that doesn't stop me trying and the people I talk to around either do their best to understand me, perhaps try to find someone who can speak English whilst I try to do the same. By and large country people are more polite and nicer than city people as they have more time.

You say the toilet was crap, you had to sit on the ground to eat, poor internet and nothing for you to do.

Did it not occur to you to go and buy a chair or two? The toilet was crap, perhaps it was all they could afford and what they have been used to for generations. It was probably hot because unlike you they may not have the money for aie conditioning. Poor internet is not their problem and you ought to take that up with your internet suppliers.

You come across to me as a spoiled brat who keeps saying me,me, me all the time. I feel sorry for your girlfriend who took you to see her family and I also suspect that her family were too polite to show their feeling about you.

Meanwhile have a good life.

Don't mince words. Say what you mean! LOL.

Your reply has many valid points. The delivery doesn't.

As for the "Meanwhile have a good life". It seems a bit cliche and is often used by some who wish hemlock to be the farewell drink for the reader. I may be wrong, but that's the impression I got.

Edited March 15, 2014 by Benmart

[thaidel48]

In answer to all of your questions,

No N No you will probably go mad through shear boredom.

[MickGC]

Roi Et is a lovely town. No need to go and live at the family farm. Rent a nice place in town for 5000 Baht a month. Will take no time at all to meet up with other local falungs to talk BS over a beer or two. Maybe visit the outlaws on the weekend. Better still, stay in town and let them come visit you.

[nithisa78]

Sir, We are in the same peer group. Also, Roi et, though only 10k from small village. We vist Ubon, which meets the needs you expressed. Though, don't know all your facts. Best of luck. Chok Di.

For a marriage to be successful, you must each be loyal to the other, stand firm in your defense of each other and be supportive of one another's life goals and dreams. It is a solemn, binding, yet challenging relationship.

Not always two way street.

[Asiantravel]

Hard to say how you'd do. Seems like the clear majority of responses recommend against it. But it really does come down to you, your sense of adventure, your tolerance of absolutely alien situations and personal status, and your health.

I spent a little over three years from age 40 in a tiny moo baan of very basic buildings of wood, thatch, and corrugated steel about 10km from Amphur Nam Yuen, itself a couple of hours drive from Amphur Muang Ubon Ratchathani. We were considered 'dek rai' (farm kids) whilst people from Nam Yuen proper are 'dek amphur' (townies). That I always found amusing.

It was certainly a challenge for one accustomed to living in Manhattan, Rome, Hong Kong, and Bangkok. At times it was stultifying, but far more often I found it to be a delight. I found I adjusted to the heat within a day or two of my return from places with air conditioning. I had to be careful with the food as I'm not big on 'kai mot daeng' but in many ways I took to the local cuisine quite happily. I can't agree with an OP above who recommends a stay of 48 hours to determine suitability. For me it took much longer, and at the outset I found I couldn't hack it so I rented a huge home in Ubon for THB6,000 a month and made longer and longer visits to the farm. Once the house was habitable I was ready for the plunge. I don't regret it.

I very much enjoyed designing and building my own small home in a way that allowed me to refine my long dormant woodworking skills. I have never cared much for the squat toilet, regardless of the much touted health benefits it provides. One day I set off alone on a sangteo for the town of Det Udom about an hour away, where I purchased a western style sit toilet. It was quite the conversation starter on the way back. My little construction project probably cost me about USD 10k over the three years I was there (quite a bit less than I'd spend over a similar period in Hong Kong or even Bangkok engaged rather less productive entertainment). The project became quite well known in the vicinity and I spent many a delightful evening entertaining inquisitive visitors over Lao Khao and Kloster Bier.

While I spoke Thai reasonably well before I took the plunge, I emerged from the experience with a better command of 'phasa Isaan' and 'phasa Lao' than almost all of my Thai friends from the Big Mango. I shudder to think what such a life might be like without fairly well developed language abilities.

I made the occasional expedition to Bangkok and Hong Kong, but enjoyed increasingly lengthy stays at the farm. I once went almost a year without leaving the Changwat or seeing a non-Thai other than during the odd trip to Pakse. And that, to me, was a big plus.

Finally, I discovered I needed a second surgery for a condition that had been incompletely handled by a very well known British doctor at the best private hospital in Hong Kong. I elected to use Sumpasit, the regional public hospital, over the various private facilities. The procedure was flawless, the nurses were lovely, and even the food was OK. I spent several days recuperating there and was indeed rendered speechless by how much better the entire stay was than it had been in Hong Kong.

Was it noisy, difficult, and uncomfortable at times? Yes it was. Was it a pleasant experience overall? Yes, very much so. Do I regret spending money on a home I would only really live in for a couple of years? Not in the least.

If you like to read, can maintain a conversation in Thai, and can take an interest in the infinite goings on, I think you may find it a blessing to live out your days in such a situation. I know I would and I'm fairly sure I will.

It all sounds very nice but you're missing the point.

It doesn't sound like the OP woke up one morning and suddenly said " I want to move to RE "?

The agenda is being set by someone else and it doesn't sound either as though you are 70 years old?

In these circumstances, he will always be looked upon as the provider of last resort to everyone in the family and why should he be put in that position ................through the decision of someone else?

[Stan7444]

Unless you enjoy watching rice grow and talking to chickens, don't do it.

You're 70 years old man. Do what makes you happy -- you've earned it. Why would you put yourself through the torment of living in a Thai village? It's not going to fun for you. Spend your golden years in a place that you want to live in -- not where some Thai woman wants to live.

Again, you have 70 years on this planet. You've earned the right to do what makes YOU happy.

Great comment and I am just turning 70 as well with a new Thai lady in my life, and this one "seems" to be the right one. She comes from Ubon Province but also has the family living 35 kms. outside the main city of Ubon. However, she has realized that I could never adapt to the country "farm" life and since we live in Bangkok right now, considering a move to Ubon next few months, i have done lots (i.e. tons) of on-line research on Ubon and what it offers, which are a couple of shopping malls with Big C, Tesco Lotus major store, Pizza Company, KFC, McDonald's, Swenson's, several farang restaurants, pubs and night life, and since Ubon was a former large US military base during Vietnam, quite a few left there in the same age group. Makes for a bunch of ol' farts. Ha Ha

Making my first trip to Ubon in April to really check out the on-line research against reality. Suggest you do the same with the area in Issan your wife's family is located. Live with them for a few days or week or so. Get the real feel of what the place offers, and then make a decision. My personal opinion is nothing much lonelier than being stuck in a area where you and the wife are the only English communicators, unless you wish to learn Thai. You will definitely be under the complete control of her family with few choices in your life. If she needs to be near the family, like mine would also like to be, live separately in one of the major cities, hopefully close enough to conveniently reach her family, but not so convenient that it is EVERY day. Distance has an advantage.

The commenter above also has some good advice that at our age, we need to enjoy our golden years and not be painted into a corner with no way out and stuck in a miserable situation. Just my thoughts on this matter.

[wvavin]

My dear friend, please don't let anybody to dictate your life anymore if you are really 70 years old. I just could not arrive at anything why there is this plan.

[metro33777]

You chose to marry a Thai female and live in Thailand so therefore you must follow and accept the Thai culture. She only has one set of parents and it's her duty in Thai culture to take care of them and if you choose not to follow her to Issan, it puts both of you in an awkward situation in culture and in respect. Once you married your wife, her parents become your parents. The village will not see the respect which you must have to care for family forever. This is something which you should of thought of when marring her. Yes you will survive, you survived moving and living in Chiang Mai. You must not allow your wife to ''loose face'' in Roi Et and you must not allow yourself to become the ''bad farang'' and be labeled jai dum. Your wife loved and accepted you and you must love and accept her fully. You will be pleasantly surprised with the results. You married the village and her culture when you married your wife. Have an open mind and it will be filled with great rewards. Issan is wonderful. No other place on earth I would rather be other than Bangkok. Good luck my friend.

[inzman]

You lived this long to let some farm girl ruin your last years, bull crap, it's your time to enjoy, she picked her family over you anyway. Tell her you need her to take care of you at your age, see how that goes. Stay in the city and enjoy your life. Living in the village will be like jail. Be strong and do it for you, you don't get a second chance my friend.

[lostinisaan]

Does your wife make all the life changing decisions? You seem to have many valid points against a move...

AND, why can't you stay where you are and your wife go home at weekends ? Or are you going to be the weekly carer, financier for the extended family. ?

nail on the head

dont fall for it OP

+ 1. Living here for almost 13 years. Left the country only for 3.5 months the whole time. Just don't even try to live a shitty life in the sticks if you don't speak the language, Lung.-

[Jip99]

Do a research for local forums on Roi Et. Roi Et is not the back water city that some try to make out to be. 24 km out side that's a snap. You'll be surprise of the number of farangs and western venues about.

As one who has lived in CM Kwaibah do you REALLY think that a 70 year old could make the move to rural Roi Et.

The wife wants to make the move and it appears that he is being steered along like a buffalo with a ring and rope through his nose.

DON"T GO.

Unless YOU want to go.

I would imagine that you are settled in CM with a circle of friends and activities. If your wife is still working she is hardly looking after the family is she ?

Unless you have thrown yourself into Thai-ism and already have Thai friends you will be like a fish out of water.

[Slinky1958]

Answer 10 bottle s of leo a day takes the sadness away good luck

[Jip99]

You chose to marry a Thai female and live in Thailand so therefore you must follow and accept the Thai culture. She only has one set of parents and it's her duty in Thai culture to take care of them and if you choose not to follow her to Issan, it puts both of you in an awkward situation in culture and in respect. Once you married your wife, her parents become your parents. The village will not see the respect which you must have to care for family forever. This is something which you should of thought of when marring her. Yes you will survive, you survived moving and living in Chiang Mai. You must not allow your wife to ''loose face'' in Roi Et and you must not allow yourself to become the ''bad farang'' and be labeled jai dum. Your wife loved and accepted you and you must love and accept her fully. You will be pleasantly surprised with the results. You married the village and her culture when you married your wife. Have an open mind and it will be filled with great rewards. Issan is wonderful. No other place on earth I would rather be other than Bangkok. Good luck my friend.

Do people still believe this claptrap !!

One individual married another - probably for love, or what was taken to be love - nowhere was there a contract to take on responsibility for the family and sundry hangers-on.

A husband ONLY has responsibility to his wife. She can retain some responsibility for the family (after looking after her husband) but no way should he be expected to follow her like a lap dog to Nakhon Nowhere.

They have developed a settled life in CM and if she chooses to return to the middle of nowhere she is hardly showing love/respect/loyalty to her husband.

You NEVER marry the village and culture - only if you have no balls do you allow 'Thai culture' and the related nonsense to affect your life.

[nanapong]

You chose to marry a Thai female and live in Thailand so therefore you must follow and accept the Thai culture. She only has one set of parents and it's her duty in Thai culture to take care of them and if you choose not to follow her to Issan, it puts both of you in an awkward situation in culture and in respect. Once you married your wife, her parents become your parents. The village will not see the respect which you must have to care for family forever. This is something which you should of thought of when marring her. Yes you will survive, you survived moving and living in Chiang Mai. You must not allow your wife to ''loose face'' in Roi Et and you must not allow yourself to become the ''bad farang'' and be labeled jai dum. Your wife loved and accepted you and you must love and accept her fully. You will be pleasantly surprised with the results. You married the village and her culture when you married your wife. Have an open mind and it will be filled with great rewards. Issan is wonderful. No other place on earth I would rather be other than Bangkok. Good luck my friend.

Jesus Christ , i bet you don't get walked all over by the Thais. They must all love you as the village mug. Are you a man or a mouse. He should tell his missis to sod off and spend the rest of his life doing what he wants to do.

[cassde]

I am also 70 years of age and recently finished rebuilding the family home about 100 kms north of Korat. It now has 4 bedrooms, one of which is reserved for my Thai wife and myself. We normally live in a condo in Bangkok, but I have just completed one week at the family house. I was bored to tears, with chickens and ducks making the most noise. There was nothing in the village of interest.

Fortunately my wife was present so I could converse in English with her but otherwise no conversation with my Thai relatives.

I would seriously consider whether you are doing the right thing.