Will I survive in Issan?

[Jip99]

You will not acclimate to this type of living. You will be dead in less than 2 years. I lived in Isaan (Loengnoktha)....in the middle of a rice field with the exact same family scenario as you describe. You will go crazy of boredom just before your death and you will be killed by a pack of village dogs, so there will be no body to burn in the village temple. You go dog! Don't be an idiot.

I live in the middle of a rice field with the nearest villages 3km each way and the nearest town of decent size 24 km away.

This was my preferred choice and is NOT like living in a village. I have chosen the isolation for a variety of reasons.

Living in a village is an oxymoron.

Dying in the village is more accurate. Everywhere will be different, I accept that, but in my experience I see little more than drinking, gambling and sitting around doing sweet FA as the main ''

activities'.

[expat888]

Absolutely don't move.

My wife did the same thing to me a year ago wanting to move to Buriram. I spend a ton of money upgrading her house and it turned into pure hell. Moved out in 5 months. If you are an ATM then they will love you but if they can't leach money or anything from you on a regular basis they can make your life a living hell.

[Ricky from Brisbane]

Absolutely don't move.

My wife did the same thing to me a year ago wanting to move to Buriram. I spend a ton of money upgrading her house and it turned into pure hell. Moved out in 5 months. If you are an ATM then they will love you but if they can't leach money or anything from you on a regular basis they can make your life a living hell.

you and your wife stay together after you quit the village mate?

[Dario]

Don't do it!

You might survive but your marriage won't.

Yes, don't do it. I'm in exactly the same situation. 4 years ago I built a large bungalow with every comfort and moved about a 100 km south of Roi Et. My wife is also a civil servant. There's nothing out here. You're lost in the sticks. I'm from Switzerland which is by far the cleanest country on earth. Here, people have just earth around their homes and all are littering all over the place. That goes beyond me. We lived in Pattaya before. No decent water here, no fixed telephone line, no decent Internet! That said I need to add that all I like in Pattaya is the possibility to go to the beach and the convenience of shopping. Not the bars, not the girls, not the traffic in town. When I need to service my car, I drive 10 minutes in Pattaya, but now one hour.

Don't get me wrong: I like Thailand, I've been living here since 1986 permanently. But life in the sticks definitely isn't for me.

Now I pass Monday to Friday at my computer making money in the Thai stock market which in a year or two should enable me to build a new house south of Pattaya in the area of Phoenix golf course. No way I will ever live again in Pattaya city itself.

Edited March 16, 2014 by Dario

[darren84310]

Is this a plan by your wife and family to secure the house build before you pop it?

[JDGRUEN]

Unless you enjoy watching rice grow and talking to chickens, don't do it.

You're 70 years old man. Do what makes you happy -- you've earned it. Why would you put yourself through the torment of living in a Thai village? It's not going to fun for you. Spend your golden years in a place that you want to live in -- not where some Thai woman wants to live.

Again, you have 70 years on this planet. You've earned the right to do what makes YOU happy.

I second what Nautilus05 wrote... And to me it looks like OP you are being set up as a geriatric baby sitter for the not so healthy parents. I say --- if it were me ... "I'll stay in town honey... and come out there as often as I can"... Then research a health condition that requires you to visit a clinic in Chaing Mai on nearly a weekly basis.. FAKE IT. A good excuse cuts out the arguments. And think about it ... for any thing you need -- it doesn't take a lot of baht to buy it in Thailand. Stand by taxi, tuuk tuuk, for transportation, maid service once in a while, food delivery, etc. If you are not used to the country life at your age and don't want it ... if it were me ... No way.

[expat888]

Absolutely don't move.

My wife did the same thing to me a year ago wanting to move to Buriram. I spend a ton of money upgrading her house and it turned into pure hell. Moved out in 5 months. If you are an ATM then they will love you but if they can't leach money or anything from you on a regular basis they can make your life a living hell.

you and your wife stay together after you quit the village mate?

Actually, yes.

She locked up the house and said we can move there when we get older. Fat chance. Her family made it miserable not her.

[pitchag]

Yeah if you are a city type of guy it might be tough. I like to get out and about and do things. walk and have a lok around and meet some people and have a yarn. I dont mean bars and stuff every day.

I went out to the girlfriends village for 10 days and it was one of the most boring things I have done in Thailand.

No one spoke English and I dont speak thai much so that was that. internet was not much good and really there was nothing to do at all. Crap toilet, had to sit on the ground to eat, hot. you think it muight be quiet out there but noise all the time.

The girlfriend suggested later that we should build a house and live there near her family. I laughed so much it hurt my stomach. I felt bad I luaghed at her but it was funny she could even ask me. I pay most of the bills so we'll be staying the places I like,

I know some people like the village and maybe they were country boys or something but if you are used to the city life it is as boring as watching paint dry. You are 70 mate and you must know by now what type of life you want.

I know what you mean my t g/f family live in Nahkon Sawon and 3 days there is my limit then i am bored stiff even in the hotel all the info is in Thai, and hanging around the mothers house watching her iron and the kids constantly eating does my brain in, on the plus side does have a good golf course

[JDGRUEN]

I have to add ... OP if your wife is going to be in town all work week ... why the hell does she think you need to be in the parents village all week? This makes absolutely no sense. If the reverse were true it might make a little sense... but wow!

OP - if it comes down to it... I know some very classy Thai ladies, educated, good job, responsible, and nice looking in their early 50's who would love to have a man - a self-supporting 70 y.o. gentleman come be their b/f... And would understand your desire to remain in the city. Just send me a PM.

[Ricky from Brisbane]

Absolutely don't move.

My wife did the same thing to me a year ago wanting to move to Buriram. I spend a ton of money upgrading her house and it turned into pure hell. Moved out in 5 months. If you are an ATM then they will love you but if they can't leach money or anything from you on a regular basis they can make your life a living hell.

you and your wife stay together after you quit the village mate?

Actually, yes.

She locked up the house and said we can move there when we get older. Fat chance. Her family made it miserable not her.

Good news you stayed together expat888 it can be hard when family get involved.

thats another thing some blokes forget that the village is all about her family so her family are always going to take her side in anything that happens and that cant be good like that having her family telling her she should do this and do that any why isnt her falang paying for this and paying for that

[thaiguzzi]

I'm going to guess that you have enough money to live in Bangkok.

Your wife is going to be away helping her parents.

There is NOTHING for you to do in Isaan

NOTHING.

Stay in Bangkok.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit."

Could not live in BKK. Hate big cities. Ok for one or two nights every couple of years.

Love Isaan. Never, ever bored in over 10 years. Too much to do, not enough hours in the day. Also have ZERO neighbors, proper in the sticks, but that is how i like it. Lived in the wife's village first couple of years, liked that too. Different strokes for different folks.

[Dario]

Don't do it!

You might survive but your marriage won't.

Yes, don't do it. I'm in exactly the same situation. 4 years ago I built a large bungalow with every comfort and moved about a 100 km south of Roi Et. My wife is also a civil servant. There's nothing out here. You're lost in the sticks. I'm from Switzerland which is by far the cleanest country on earth. Here, people have just earth around their homes and all are littering all over the place. That goes beyond me. We lived in Pattaya before. No decent water here, no fixed telephone line, no decent Internet! That said I need to add that all I like in Pattaya is the possibility to go to the beach and the convenience of shopping. Not the bars, not the girls, not the traffic in town. When I need to service my car, I drive 10 minutes in Pattaya, but now one hour.

Don't get me wrong: I like Thailand, I've been living here since 1986 permanently. But life in the sticks definitely isn't for me.

Now I pass Monday to Friday at my computer making money in the Thai stock market which in a year or two should enable me to build a new house south of Pattaya in the area of Phoenix golf course. No way I will ever live again in Pattaya city itself.

The only positive things: yes, we spend less money here, simply because there is no temptation for shopping. And; we have good income here from our rice harvester. But: we're always surrounded by 5-6 harvesters coming from the central planes and their number increases every year.

[Absolut]

Does your wife make all the life changing decisions? You seem to have many valid points against a move...

AND, why can't you stay where you are and your wife go home at weekends ? Or are you going to be the weekly carer, financier for the extended family. ?

This was my first thought to, the OP says the wife has decided to move back to the village to look after the in laws but will only be there 2 days a week, spending 5 in the city working. To me it would make more sense for the OP to live in the city, see the wife 5 days a week and let her travel back as she so wants to do.

If he chooses he can help out financially but if he moves to be with the in laws it sounds like he may well be expected to be the care giver for at least 5 days a week.

[remobb]

I have tried and didn't like it. I am an easy going person but just didn't like the boring life with nothing and nowhere to go on a daily basis. I couldn't even get internet into the house that I built. Every time I went for a short walk the dogs looked as if they where going to attack the strange falang. Villagers always asking for drinks, fags (I don't smoke) or money. I never felt safe walking around as I am an outsider and will always be. Any party nights or shows end in fights between the drunken locals. Daytime was just too boring, a visit to Big C or Tesco was the highlight. Sorry, not ready to lay down and die yet at 62. Stay where you are happy dude.

[cassde]

I think I will only stay at the family home when they need help to cut sugar tree. Not the 3 or 4 months at a time I was contemplating - too boring

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[dennisgb45]

My situation is similar to Billd here. I'm 68 yrs old...live 3 clicks ouside Kahm Sakae Saeng...has a mini Tesco....7-11.....no bank....45 clicks to Korat. I love it. I have a rai of land...a small shop for hobbies....I go fishing....play with my dog..And I don't have to put up with the half baked farangs....Not for everyone....but works for me.

I can't help you about Roi Et but I can on the rest. I will be 70 in May and I live 6 km from the big village in a moo ban in Khampaeng Phet province backing on to the Mae Wong national park. I have lived out here for 10 years and rarely see a farang week in or week out. If you have an internet connection Skype is almost as good. The big village has a 7/11 and a bank and I go to Khampaeng Phet once a month for a bulk shop at BigC and Makro.

My MIL lives in a small house on the site and speaks absolutely no English at all, my wifes English is fair but from next week she and a couple of friends are starting a small restaurant 6 km away so I wion't see that much of her during the day. We have a 9 year old son whoseEnglish is coming on fine but during school term he goes to school in KPP plus a 17 year old nephew who has a job at the national park and is about 50% as intelligent as a tree but not as much use.

If you read get loads of books or a Kindle reader, write your life story if only for yourself, learn to cook, exercise a little every day, use the internet to learn at least 2 new things a day. I do all this and I sometimes wish I had more time. Find a friend and there are a lot of us about, read the Isaan forum on TV here http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/forum/32-isaan-forum/

Leave all the stress and hassle of city life behind and take life easy as it comes.

Country life is great. I only go to cities when I really HAVE to.

Good luck and remember you know you can do it.

[lostinsurin]

Unless you enjoy watching rice grow and talking to chickens, don't do it.

You're 70 years old man. Do what makes you happy -- you've earned it. Why would you put yourself through the torment of living in a Thai village? It's not going to fun for you. Spend your golden years in a place that you want to live in -- not where some Thai woman wants to live.

Again, you have 70 years on this planet. You've earned the right to do what makes YOU happy.

Well stated. My view exactly. As well if the wife commutes back to the family village only on weekends why do you have to be there as you have little to add in the way of support? There's nothing wrong with you remaining in CM while the wife makes the weekly trek to her village. I believe I'm very tolerant and can live in austere locations, for a time, but this I would not do.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

As I understand his wife will live 24 k outside roi-et where she will be working during the week,

she can't commute between CM and roi-et on a daily basis!!!

They could could live in roi-et as posters have said but the wife may want to live in the village and there is the problem.

I am moving from Surin to a village 17 K but I'm fine with it as it's no big deal, but I can see the point of view that maybe a bad idea

for this guy.

[billd766]

My situation is similar to Billd here. I'm 68 yrs old...live 3 clicks ouside Kahm Sakae Saeng...has a mini Tesco....7-11.....no bank....45 clicks to Korat. I love it. I have a rai of land...a small shop for hobbies....I go fishing....play with my dog..And I don't have to put up with the half baked farangs....Not for everyone....but works for me.

I can't help you about Roi Et but I can on the rest. I will be 70 in May and I live 6 km from the big village in a moo ban in Khampaeng Phet province backing on to the Mae Wong national park. I have lived out here for 10 years and rarely see a farang week in or week out. If you have an internet connection Skype is almost as good. The big village has a 7/11 and a bank and I go to Khampaeng Phet once a month for a bulk shop at BigC and Makro.

My MIL lives in a small house on the site and speaks absolutely no English at all, my wifes English is fair but from next week she and a couple of friends are starting a small restaurant 6 km away so I wion't see that much of her during the day. We have a 9 year old son whoseEnglish is coming on fine but during school term he goes to school in KPP plus a 17 year old nephew who has a job at the national park and is about 50% as intelligent as a tree but not as much use.

If you read get loads of books or a Kindle reader, write your life story if only for yourself, learn to cook, exercise a little every day, use the internet to learn at least 2 new things a day. I do all this and I sometimes wish I had more time. Find a friend and there are a lot of us about, read the Isaan forum on TV here http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/forum/32-isaan-forum/

Leave all the stress and hassle of city life behind and take life easy as it comes.

Country life is great. I only go to cities when I really HAVE to.

Good luck and remember you know you can do it.

It works for me too. I am not an ATM, get along well enough in the local moo ban and in the bigger village. My internet connection is OK and I have a motorbike for fun and nipping around.

Sure I buy a bottle of whisky down in the moo ban but only when it is my turn I have been living out here for 10 years now and despite some comments as far as I know I haven't gone crazy, I am not an alcoholic nor even a drunk.

I can always find a few things to do to fill in the time but it is rare that I have to go and look. I don't bother to watch TV but I do download old movies and TV series from the time when I actually enjoyed watchin TV. Most of the music I play is pre 2000. I have a couple of farang mates and we meet every 3 or 4 weeks to have a beer or 2, swap books and tell tall stories about "when I were nobbut a lad...........".

I wouldn't go back to living in a city now out of choice.

I go to BKK once a year and I find that it is dirty, polluted, solid traffic, wall to wall people and people rarely smile.

[fredob43]

I have not read all the posts.

But I can tell you about a friend of mine who has done just that, moved to a hamlet outside Surin has lived there for about 7 years and he has now started to go stir crazy haven't seen him for several months but it wouldn't surprise me when I next do he'll be sitting in a rice paddy dribbling, internet only work's half the time if he's lucky, nothing to do the only thing he has to look's forward to is going to bed to sleep, then as he say's to only get up and start all over again.

You have to be a certain type to live in a place that half the time doesn't have any facilities 24/7 closes down after dark, No or little TV unless you pay fortunes, nothing to do and I mean nothing, running water to name just a few.

I have tried it stayed with my friend for two week's one time and for me I felt I was just waiting to die.

Give it a go for a couple of week or a month or two but don't give up your route's where you are now then when it go's pair shaped as I would suggest it would as you will be on your own most of the time, you can up stick's and get back to reality.

Best of luck.

[Saan]

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies.

I don't mind my own company for awhile but after 2 or 3 days I enjoy the company of others. I have a Kindle and over 5000 books on my computer so am pretty well fixed up for reading. But I think village life would be a novelty for awhile but would soon wear thin. Roi Et appears a pretty city and has its supporters on this forum so it might be the preferred option. But I have yet to decide if a move is on my agenda even if it's on my wife's. I would be sorry to loose her and will have to way that up against being uprooted from where I leave a pretty contented life. Commuting, as has been suggested in posts, is out as the distance is just too far. If she goes and I stay that will be it. Sad, and I would have preferred not to have had to face this at my stage of life. Such is life.

[lostinisaan]

Roi Et is a nice town, and the countryside is also nice.

I've been to 101 ( Roi-Et) so many times and it wouldn't be a problem if I would have to live there. But I'm almost 20 years younger than the OP.

Life in a village is not for many people and it's pretty obvious that his wife planned to build a new house there.

If I'd relocate from CM, I'd rather stay somewhere at a nice beach and enjoy the rest of my life.

He can't have a conversation with the village guys.

There's no proper food, nor restaurants where the OP would find something suitable.

Building a house in a village can take a long time, living with her parents can easily freak you out.

All the Lao Khao guys begging for money are sometimes annoying.

Roi Et is about an hour away, even if it's only 25 km.

The summer had just started, try to stay with them under one roof with a fan...

Life's too short to accept what a woman wants. Listen to your heart.

[lostinisaan]

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies.

I don't mind my own company for awhile but after 2 or 3 days I enjoy the company of others. I have a Kindle and over 5000 books on my computer so am pretty well fixed up for reading. But I think village life would be a novelty for awhile but would soon wear thin. Roi Et appears a pretty city and has its supporters on this forum so it might be the preferred option. But I have yet to decide if a move is on my agenda even if it's on my wife's. I would be sorry to loose her and will have to way that up against being uprooted from where I leave a pretty contented life. Commuting, as has been suggested in posts, is out as the distance is just too far. If she goes and I stay that will be it. Sad, and I would have preferred not to have had to face this at my stage of life. Such is life.

Hi Saan,

As you'd stated, you live a contended life now. Once used to a bigger city, it's really difficult to give all up and live in a village. For what reason? Because she'd decided so?

Wish you the insight to make the right decision, as it's your life.Good luck from lower northeast.

Edited March 16, 2014 by lostinisaan

[pasak]

If your wife really cared about you she would discuss this whole matter with you empathetically and the two of you would come to a solution that suited you both. But it appears that she is suffering from the desire to show off to her family and other locals by getting you to build a big house on HER land and in HER name. You will be used increasingly as a doormat.

You'd want and expect her to take your side, you are her flaming HUSBAND. Her mother is not numero uno any more, you are.

Don't go further down the road of investing your hard earned and your golden years in someone who doesn't care about YOU enough. If you cannot persuade her to understand, then hold onto your sponduli, stay in Chiang Mai and enjoy your twilight years without her.

Please think very carefully about the depth of her love for YOU. That's my advice.

[nanapong]

If your wife really cared about you she would discuss this whole matter with you empathetically and the two of you would come to a solution that suited you both. But it appears that she is suffering from the desire to show off to her family and other locals by getting you to build a big house on HER land and in HER name. You will be used increasingly as a doormat.

You'd want and expect her to take your side, you are her flaming HUSBAND. Her mother is not numero uno any more, you are.

Don't go further down the road of investing your hard earned and your golden years in someone who doesn't care about YOU enough. If you cannot persuade her to understand, then hold onto your sponduli, stay in Chiang Mai and enjoy your twilight years without her.

Please think very carefully about the depth of her love for YOU. That's my advice.

This woman has no love for him , she has only love for his money and the security it provides. Her actions and demands are proof enough.

He should let her go and good riddence. You don't go to these villages to live , you go there to die. That's why it's called Gods waiting room. I've seen a few guys stuck in this situation , all have a strange emptyness in their eyes which light up at the mere sight of another farang to talk with. How sad to think you've worked your whole life to end up in a place where nobody genuinely cares what happens to you.

Stay where you're happy OP , you seem like a decent caring guy and i'm sure it wouldn't take long to find a nice CM lady to see out the rest of your days.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

They are building a new Robinson Life Style Center with a Tops Market.

If it's anything like the same type mall they just opened in Sakon Nakhon in the past year -- and usually their projects are pretty much cookie cutter replications -- it will be a great addition in terms of western possibilities.

When we went to visit my wife's parents over the Christmas holiday, the Life Style Center in Sakon Nakhon had a lot of eating places and the Tops market there was surprisingly well stocked with a variety of western products -- not the same as what you'd have expected in the past from a place out in the boonies.

If memory serves, it had a Japanese place, a Korean bbq place, a Black Canyon coffee shop/restaurant, a pizza place, I think a Jeffers steak place, and more, along with the inhouse bakery in Tops that stocked a lot of the normal things you'd expect to see in Bangkok such as croissants and such.

Edited March 16, 2014 by TallGuyJohninBKK

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

I sympathize and empathize with the OP.

On the one hand, he certainly understands the responsibility his wife has toward her parents. But at the same time, she has a responsibility to him, and he has a responsibility to himself, to make the latter years of his life reasonably pleasant and contented ones. A move to a remote village in Roi-Et or elsewhere similar might not be particularly pleasant or contented for him, not to mention likely not being particularly close to any quality medical care.

FWIW, I remember hearing one piece of advice here that I always thought was well put, on the subject of Thai wives and their responsibilities to their parents. And that advice was: NEVER end up living in the same house with your Thai wife and her parents/extended family, especially out in the countryside. If the wife has to do things for the family, arrange to live separately and nearby with your own home so you and the wife can maintain your own lives.

In that regard, a potential compromise would seem to be the OP and his wife taking their own home somewhere in Roi-Et city, where the wife is going to be working anyway, and then she can travel out of town to her parents house when she needs to do things with them.

Knowing a bit of Roi Et, I would assume the OP could manage a decently satisfying life living in Roi-Et city and not feel like he's been stranded alone on a desert island. Yet the wife would be much closer to her parents and able to fulfill her family obligations as well, without having to submerge the OP's life into that of rural Thai village-dom.

[soihok]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E39ma9uqVWc

".............I wouldn't want be anywhere else but here, I wouldn't want to change, anything at all..........."

[soihok]

All comes down to how happy you are with yourself.

If you are comfortable with yourself and your lot, it doesn't really matter where you are.

Edited March 16, 2014 by soihok

[recycler]

You'll probably drink yourself a brain damage there and be happy after that....

Seriously, the situation you sketch requires special skills that you probably don't have, stay where you are or go take care of yourself in a place where you like to be!

[soihok]

You will forever get replies like the one above.

Someone who has regrets.

Troll, troll, rolly old troll

Edited March 16, 2014 by soihok